Going bald, and going back...

[jooder]

Fixed - I think your resentment to lack of progression job wise is wrongly directed. If you went to your place of work with the same negative attitude you display here....... then that is more likely to have held you back in my opinion.

[Jack21]

"treating" hairloss is nothing but a path to HELL!!!

Well, I've been shaved headed for almost one month now and to be quite honest today was just as shitty as the first day I came to work with a shaved head. I have been trying to put on a brave face but after this long with so little change its a pretty damned miserable situation.

But all of this misery is a result of my having worked here for years with what appeared to be a full head of hair. It is the radical change that has caused this. There are other bald men here who nobody treats the way they have been treating me. My mistake was trying to fight/ conceal it. If I had just gone bald and then shaved my head like the other guys at work I would be fine. Because I did what I did I am now paying an emotional price far steeper than the hair club ever charged. I would pay double, triple, one hundred times that amount to go one day without being treated with utter disdain and derision.

In my social group i would say that there may be 8 guys with hair....one is balding.....and im shaved bald. With the exception of one guy, i have had more girlfriends than any of them.....and regarding looks, i would say that on average i have had just as good looking girlfriends as him too.
I have never encountered any prejudice job wise. I would say the only negativity comes from young teenagers and work colleagues banter wise. Thats the law of the jungle i guess........
I think baldness can rule your life if you let it.......for many years it honestly was never an issue to me......and as a result it has not stopped me one bit. In my mind, its the concious and subconcious vibes you give off that allow people to judge you differently.

[Fixed by 35]

Does anyone else fear the complements as well as the insults? I hate the idea of getting a buzz cut and being complemented on it for example; I don't want reminding of the fact that I am balding, full stop. Likewise, how would you deal with it if the stories of women asking to rub bald heads that are posted all over the internet were true? I'm be mortfied if that happened to me, I'd have to tell them to **** off and would go home immediately.

I find the best 'zone' to be in is to appear to do nothing. Everyone can see hair loss bothers me, but it's short enough to be tidy. No insults, no complements. Just blissful silence.

[jooder]

Isnt a compliment a good sign?? I think most people would be happy to receive compliments

[Fixed by 35]

First of all, lying is easy. I used to work in a bank, I both know a lot of insincere people and can be an extremely talented liar. Compliments are the sort of lies that are really easy to tell. I used to find myself lying, or rather complementing, to people in bad situations to make them feel better. I imagine others do the same; baldness and hair buzzing is surely a classic time to say 'like the look' rather than something nearer the truth like 'thank **** you got rid of your thinning hair, you balding bastard' or 'man you look bad, but not as bad as before.'

Expanding on this, there are a lot of things you don't raise in polite conversation, because you don't want to draw attention to something about a person. For example, if someone has a dirty great wart on their face and they have it removed, you generally don't compliment them on it. Likewise, if someone has to have an arm amputated and they get a false arm, you don't say 'like the look!' I think you get the idea.

[jooder]

First of all, lying is easy. I used to work in a bank, I both know a lot of insincere people and can be an extremely talented liar. Compliments are the sort of lies that are really easy to tell. I used to find myself lying, or rather complementing, to people in bad situations to make them feel better. I imagine others do the same; baldness and hair buzzing is surely a classic time to say 'like the look' rather than something nearer the truth like 'thank **** you got rid of your thinning hair, you balding bastard' or 'man you look bad, but not as bad as before.'

Expanding on this, there are a lot of things you don't raise in polite conversation, because you don't want to draw attention to something about a person. For example, if someone has a dirty great wart on their face and they have it removed, you generally don't compliment them on it. Likewise, if someone has to have an arm amputated and they get a false arm, you don't say 'like the look!' I think you get the idea.

By the sound of your second paragraph, you are saying that people would not draw attention to things they dislike or something that the person may feel embarassed about. Therefore, if somebody did compliment you on your buzzed or shaven look......they musnt think its something to be ashamed of.
Sounds pretty good to me.

[mlao]

Does anyone else fear the complements as well as the insults? I hate the idea of getting a buzz cut and being complemented on it for example; I don't want reminding of the fact that I am balding, full stop. Likewise, how would you deal with it if the stories of women asking to rub bald heads that are posted all over the internet were true? I'm be mortfied if that happened to me, I'd have to tell them to **** off and would go home immediately.

I find the best 'zone' to be in is to appear to do nothing. Everyone can see hair loss bothers me, but it's short enough to be tidy. No insults, no complements. Just blissful silence.

Fixed brings up a very interesting point. Why do people feel the need to comment about our physical appearance. It's just bad manners.
I grew up with a friend who began losing his hair in his mid twenties. He was always a popular and gregarious person. He became very successful, married and had a beautiful family at a young age. When he came home for his High School Reunion a female classmate looked at him and one of the first things out of her mouth was "you're going bald"
Well he was very quick witted and before she could take a breath he replied
"And you have a fat ass"
I'm sure it hurt her but it probably taught her a painful lesson.

[Fixed by 35]

Clear example of why drawing attention to things can be bad. That said, at least it gives us a glimpse of what people are thinking. One of those catch 22 situations.

[gabrielbartell]

The problem with "bald attractive men" like Jason Statham and Vin Diesel are: these are all macho, masculine guys. Prior to losing my hair, I was "boyish". If masculinity is your thing, then baldness can work, but if your image/schtick depends on looking "boyish", then when you lose your hair, you're screwed.

Then again, no one can stay "boyish" for their entire lifetime. But I'd have women think I was "cute" than "rugged" any day. I hate balding.

[Jeremy12]

The problem with "bald attractive men" like Jason Statham and Vin Diesel are: these are all macho, masculine guys. Prior to losing my hair, I was "boyish". If masculinity is your thing, then baldness can work, but if your image/schtick depends on looking "boyish", then when you lose your hair, you're screwed.

Then again, no one can stay "boyish" for their entire lifetime. But I'd have women think I was "cute" than "rugged" any day. I hate balding.

This is 100% me and I 100% agree, I'm not macho at all. Pretty much, ****ed for life.

[zero_confidence_balder]

The problem with "bald attractive men" like Jason Statham and Vin Diesel are: these are all macho, masculine guys. Prior to losing my hair, I was "boyish". If masculinity is your thing, then baldness can work, but if your image/schtick depends on looking "boyish", then when you lose your hair, you're screwed.

Then again, no one can stay "boyish" for their entire lifetime. But I'd have women think I was "cute" than "rugged" any day. I hate balding.

ughhhh same here. I'm 23 but still have a "baby face" whenever I'm clean shaven...so the balding thing just doesn't work for me. Guess I'll keep my rugged 5 o'clock (...3 day) shadow as permanent fixture haha

[Steve Aronson]

I've thought about and researched all of the hair replacement solutions over the years but never pulled the trigger. Now that I'm 58 I've become quite comfortable with being bald. So so much so that I recently launched a business designing hats for bald guys. Checkout my website *********. The hats have been designed from the inside out for maximum comfort. They feel great, are machine washable, and wick away perspiration better than anything on the market today. Bald guys love these hats and you can read product reviews at www.slybaldguys.com and www.oobgolf.com

[Steve Aronson]

Hats

I've thought about and researched all of the hair replacement solutions over the years but never pulled the trigger. Now that I'm 58 I've become quite comfortable with being bald. So so much so that I recently launched a business designing hats for bald guys. Checkout the 4 head wear site. The hats have been designed from the inside out for maximum comfort. They feel great, are machine washable, and wick away perspiration better than anything on the market today. Bald guys love these hats and you can read product reviews at www.slybaldguys.com and www.oobgolf.com

[Fixed by 35]

I sometimes wonder whether bald guys are 'allowed' to wear hats. I'm sure some people read it as covering up and therefore insecurity.

[Steve Aronson]

I sometimes wonder whether bald guys are 'allowed' to wear hats. I'm sure some people read it as covering up and therefore insecurity.

Hey Fixed by 35. I can assure you bald guys are allowed to wear hats. And the reasons to wear a hat are many. I play a lot of golf and at least half of the guys my age that I play golf with are bald or balding. They all wear hats and don't give it a second thought.