Going bald, and going back...

[Jack21]

wealth?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard my mother or ex-wife or sister make a derogatory remark about baldness I would be a wealthy man today. All of them are actually quite nice people and I am sure never mean to be hurtful. Its just the way it is.

If you understand that baldness leads to lower confidence and less attention from women, and it does, then it is a logical conclusion that you will be discriminated against in the workplace and in politics. For example, women's preferences in polls have typically shown that they vote in large numbers against bald candidates (men don't seem to care); so much for the claims on the internet that bald is beautiful! Presumably they display the same discrimination towards bald colleagues in the workplace.

The trouble is that the theory that women don't mind baldness is a work of fiction. For a start, watch bald guys in public places trying to pick up women; they nearly always fail because women don't even want to speak to them. All other things being equal women will always choose a man with hair, and all other things are equal until a woman knows who you are! As a result, the hurdle for bald men to get women is huge, hence why they seem desperate to get into a relationship if they can get that far (bald men are typically either single or in a long term relationship). Bald men are also typically matched with women far less attractive than they would be if they had hair, or alternatively with needy, demanding, high maintenance women.

Sure, there's a bald fetish that gets wide currency on the internet, in the same way as 'BBW' women do. It doesn't mean it's the norm.

[Fixed by 35]

I can't blame anyone who makes derogatory remarks about baldness because they're right. It is hideously ugly. I make derogatory comments about baldness all the time too, so why shouldn't they?

I think society would be better off if it became an accepted truth that baldness was a curse that should be stopped. Then, either a more thorough search for effective treatments would go ahead or efforts would be made to stop bald people reproducing. I would happily be the first in the queue for a vasectomy to play my part in such a crackdown. Wearing wigs might become more acceptable, maybe mandatory, too!

[chewytorch]

So you've pretty much just accepted that you're ugly and useless?

[Fixed by 35]

Ugly, definitely. All bald men are ugly without a doubt. No one's ever been able to provide an example to contradict my view on that. Apparently about 6% of the female population don't mind bald men though (similar sized fetish to men who like BBW women), which means unfortunately there is still the possibility of reproducing.

I don't think I'm useless but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't understand I was perceived at the very least as odd by others for being so young but balding. Also, let's be honest, the pre-occupation and drop in confidence (which never comes back in full despite what people say) does mean I am less useful than I could be). A few months ago I began working from home in a role which doesn't require any human contact, which means I can obscure my baldness from those who I work for. That lack of contact does help.

[chewytorch]

Well I am incredibly sorry to hear that. I myself could never live my life like that. At least not in my youth years. Fortunately I'm still young so there is a lot of time for medical advances. I really fear to ever be like you one day, (no offense) to ever let the fact that I have no hair ruin my whole social life. If, for me, it ever does get to the point to where I am like you, I just hope I have the balls to kill my self.

[Fixed by 35]

Well, let me be blunt. Having a social life is not something you get to decide for yourself. Old friends are as good as ever, but you'd be amazed how many new people don't want to know you when you're bald.

[jooder]

Its such a shame to visit this forum when fixed hasnt had his medication. Same old.....same old. It doesnt matter how many times bald men on here say they dont have a problem getting women........it doesnt matter how many times bald, successful men are pointed out to him. It doesnt even matter when numerous links are posted which illustrate that many women actually like bald men.
In his mind, hes ugly, grotesque, a failure, a social leper...........and that must mean the rest of us are too.
I think everybody knows a guy who never has anything positive to say, constantly begrudges others and makes you wish you had never entered conversation with them in the first place.
I just hope younger, worried people dont listen to his nonsense.
Judging from his posts, he hardly ever leaves the house to avoid social contact, percieves himself as ugly and writes negatively on an almost daily basis. The man is obviously depressed.
I just hope he seeks help for this condition rather than trying to take others down with him.

[Fixed by 35]

You should delve into the academic journals available on the perceptions of baldness if you ever want to know more than what you want to hear. Statistics suggest that the internet lies.

If you don't believe me, give this experiment a shot. Set up two accounts on a dating website, one with a picture of yourself before you lost your hair and one now. Ensure all other details are the same. Then compare the response rates. This experiment comes with a warning, it will shatter the illusion of the internet's pop psychology and will teach you that, statistically, you lost your chance with about 80% of the women interested in you. At least that was the average of the results of those of us who ran the experiment (although I wonder if that was because we were all in our 20s, I suppose we should just be glad we can attract so many women in their 40s at age 24).

[jooder]

I have previously posted numerous links to real women on dating sites discussing bald men. The response was favourable to say the least. If you would like i can do this again.
Also, my own experience tells me different. I dont have any trouble getting girlfriends.....and neither do many other 'baldies' who have posted on here.
You have posted before that baldness is ugly and grotesque. Now you are saying that having hair is more attractive to women than having none. I agree that some men suit having hair more than being bald, i also think some men look better bald than with hair.
Having no hair will undoubtedly be unattractive to some.......it will not matter to others, and can also make you more attractive to other people.
If baldness was ugly and grotesque then i wouldnt have had one girlfriend, there would be no examples of bald men with good looking women and leper like bald men would be unable to mix with society or excel in their careers. Unfortunately, the evidence is stacked against you.
If your argument was that being bald will turn off some women, then youd be right. Just like if tom cruise got fat or really thin - some women wouldnt find him attractive any more. But thats life, you will never please all of the people all of the time.
The fact is that bald men have plenty of women to choose from and their baldness will not stop their lifes ambitions one bit.

[Fixed by 35]

If you actually read most of the available forums on the net, you'll find baldness is tolerated at best by most women. Also, a lot of women will say 'bald is okay, but my bf/husband has hair....' etc etc

Now, why don't you try my experiment, or are you worried what the results will do to your self esteem?

[jooder]

Firstly, i have been shaved bald for 12 or 13 years......im now 32......so the only pics i have are of a 19 year old guy, compared to me now at 32. So to try and compare the two would be ridiculous in my mind. I dont think i would be doing myself a favour with a mid 90s hairstyle and a massively outdated fashion sense. I would likely get laughed off the dating site as a fake.
To refute your point (again).....and prove that some women do find bald men attractive :

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts7055769.aspx

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts629821.aspx

http://www.peertrainer.com/LoungeCommunityThread.aspx?ForumID=1&ThreadID=25941

I could have chose links where the answers are 100 % positive, but i prefer a more balanced view. Either way, its clear to me that bald men are seemingly attractive to quite a few women : )

[Fixed by 35]

It will be wrong of me to further shatter your delusion.

[jooder]

I invite you to shatter my delusion..........problem is, you cant

[Fixed by 35]

Okay. Go and find someone with similar qualifications, personality and intelligence as you, but with hair. Then compare your success, and more to the point how hard you had to work for it.

There are so many less qualified people who don't work hard who were more senior to me before I quit my job. Their only skill seemed to be getting drunk. That's the life of the hirsute in a nutshell.

[jooder]

In my social group i would say that there may be 8 guys with hair....one is balding.....and im shaved bald. With the exception of one guy, i have had more girlfriends than any of them.....and regarding looks, i would say that on average i have had just as good looking girlfriends as him too.
I have never encountered any prejudice job wise. I would say the only negativity comes from young teenagers and work colleagues banter wise. Thats the law of the jungle i guess........
I think baldness can rule your life if you let it.......for many years it honestly was never an issue to me......and as a result it has not stopped me one bit. In my mind, its the concious and subconcious vibes you give off that allow people to judge you differently.