Going bald, and going back...

[Jack21]

big turn around

Honestly at work people have started acting towards me as if I always looked like this. It just took a while. Now there is absolutely nothing negative - no jokes, no stares, no frightened looks. I keep saying this, but I will get a pic up of the scar. I'm getting pretty used to the shaved head look. It was a tough battle. I mean I was really reeling for a few weeks there, but its ok now. Amazingly there are still a number of women who have continued to show interest in me. I thought that would never happen. So, to whoever it was who said that all women think bald/ shaved headed guys are ugly - you're wrong. Nobody asks me about the scar.

Congrats
That's 1/2 the battle
Do you still get a negative reaction or inuirqies as to what happened from people on the street ?

If you can I would be interseted in seeing a pic of the scar

[DAVE52]

. I'm getting pretty used to the shaved head look. It was a tough battle. I mean I was really reeling for a few weeks there, but its ok now. Amazingly there are still a number of women who have continued to show interest in me. I thought that would never happen..

Great to hear
From your writing it appears the situation now isn't as bad as it was a month ago and that you and the general public have accpeted it for what it is and not made a bigger deal of it

Good for you .
Hopefully it will get easier as time goes on and you can relax and enjoy life .

[DAVE52]

Jack
I read on another site that you are starting to do the things you like ( jog , box etc ) again

AWESOME for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I got to turn my sitaution around

[Jack21]

the upside

I'm able to do all the things that I wasn't for years. I can have real workouts. I mean I can sweat profusely. Before I had to keep it mild so that I wouldn't sweat too much and mess up my "hair". I can also run properly again and, yeah, the best thing of all I'm boxing again. I don't mean I'm any good, but I love it. There's no better workout on earth. Yesterday afternoon I had the gym virtually to myself. I cranked up the music and just went to work on the heavy bag. Of course after all of this I can go home and take a real shower.

There is certainly an upside to this. I wish I could have my cake and it too but I can't. I am reminded of an English friend of mine who had very severe scoliosis. He opted to have a surgical procedure which would enable him to engage in sports on a normal level but would leave him "hunched" over a procedure which would have left him far more "normal" looking but unable to participate in sports.

I wish I could have my cake and it it too, but I can't. I'm focusing on the things I like to do and am now able to do properly and not too much on looking at myself in the mirror.

Jack
I read on another site that you are starting to do the things you like ( jog , box etc ) again

AWESOME for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I got to turn my sitaution around

[jooder]

Jack21 - Its great that you are starting to feel better and are realising that life doesnt end with a shaved head : )
For anybody else reading this, Jack is a great example of scepticism which has turned positive. Up until very recently, he couldnt see why anybody would like a shaved/bald head...... i guess you could say he couldnt see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I often post on this forum.....saying shaved/bald heads are not ugly and that my baldness has never held me back with women or in life generally. I get the feeling that sometimes people may think i just 'stick up for the bald guy' and even lie about things........ - i dont and never will.
Would most men like the option of more hair?....... i think they would. After all, options are better for anybody. Do some women dislike bald men?......sure they do, but some women will never be attracted to a man with ginger hair or a man who is short or very tall or has a goofy laugh. You will NEVER please everybody, even if you are brad pitt.
Look at the positives - Jack can now do things he never could whilst covering up his hair loss. He is slowly breaking free from the self imposed prison he and many other men create for themselves. He has noticed that the same women are still interested in him with a shaved head He will soon notice that other women may now be attracted to him who were not before. In short, one door closes and another one opens.
Jack - Keep up the positive attitude........ you reap what you sow

[yohoslo]

I am in the exact same boat as Jack and many others who have responded are in. I am 35 now and had strip surgery about 6 years ago. I could not tell you how many of the same emotions that you have expressed that I have went through myself, pure misery. It is truly amazing how many of us dumb M-F'ers fall for getting hair transplant surgery and don't just shave or buzz-cut our heads instead. I have friends who get tons of extremely hot girls with shaved heads. But I have also had to wear my hair close to an inch long ever since the surgery to cover my scar, even though it is noticeably thinning on top. My hair is getting thinner each year now so I want to cut my hair short very soon, hopefully by this coming spring. So after much consideration, about 3 weeks ago, I went in for scar revision. I had the trichophytic closure done, which I did not have the first time. I talked to many doctors about this and most of them tried to sell me on the FUE surgery so I told them basically to kiss my A$$. I would not consider any kind of hair transplant ever again. It is truly the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life. So far, the trichopytic closure seems like it is going to give me a much better scar but only time will tell if it stretches much or not and how much hair actually grows through it. Hopefully, it looks good enough when it matures in a few months that I can cut it very short. If it does not, then I am considering getting the tattoo follicle work done later on down the road. Either way, this hair is coming off soon. I would much rather expose the scar with a buzz-cut than to keep hanging on to this hair that makes me look much worse than this scar possibly could.

[Jack21]

Shaving the head is very liberating and people eventually get used to it. It took a few weeks but people treat me now as if I had always looked like this. People very, very rarely say or ask me anything about the scar. As I've said so many times before the whole "hair restoration" industry is absolutely loathesome.

I am in the exact same boat as Jack and many others who have responded are in. I am 35 now and had strip surgery about 6 years ago. I could not tell you how many of the same emotions that you have expressed that I have went through myself, pure misery. It is truly amazing how many of us dumb M-F'ers fall for getting hair transplant surgery and don't just shave or buzz-cut our heads instead. I have friends who get tons of extremely hot girls with shaved heads. But I have also had to wear my hair close to an inch long ever since the surgery to cover my scar, even though it is noticeably thinning on top. My hair is getting thinner each year now so I want to cut my hair short very soon, hopefully by this coming spring. So after much consideration, about 3 weeks ago, I went in for scar revision. I had the trichophytic closure done, which I did not have the first time. I talked to many doctors about this and most of them tried to sell me on the FUE surgery so I told them basically to kiss my A$$. I would not consider any kind of hair transplant ever again. It is truly the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life. So far, the trichopytic closure seems like it is going to give me a much better scar but only time will tell if it stretches much or not and how much hair actually grows through it. Hopefully, it looks good enough when it matures in a few months that I can cut it very short. If it does not, then I am considering getting the tattoo follicle work done later on down the road. Either way, this hair is coming off soon. I would much rather expose the scar with a buzz-cut than to keep hanging on to this hair that makes me look much worse than this scar possibly could.

[hindsight2020]

I just realized how long this thread has gotten, as I havn't been on this site in quite some time.

After reading through fixed by 35's comments, I am no longer interested in a debate on bald vs. hair, which is just a debate of self-confidence vs. self-pity. I am ok with being bald. I understand that if everyone felt this way we wouldn't even be here. What I am not ok with is the fact that I paid a lot of money to try to fix it, or cover it up. Thats the only real embarrassing thing now.

Yes, I can pick out a transplant. You simply cannot duplicate a real head of hair. You can make it blend if you sill have hair ontop of your head to mix it with, but when you lose that (and 99% of people eventually do) you'll see what I am talking about.

Being bald isn't ideal, but with a lot of other "diseases" I could've possibly been born with... I am ok with this one. Not happy, not miserable, but OK with it.

Balding doesn't affect my life. People wondering why the hell I would get a hair transplant does.

[TKS]

I agree and disagree with both of you, if that's possible. You guys both have totally legitimate comments on balding, but they are completely opposite. Somebody thinks its the worst thing that could happen to them and their life is over, while another guy says "oh well" im bald and moving on w/my life. It totally depends on your outlook in life. And age has a lot to do with it. My hair used to bug the crap out of me when I first realized I had male pattern baldness when I was 22. Now I'm 32 and, yeah, I get jealous of fellas with beautiful, hair (especially when they're like 60+) whats up with that?! I would do a hair transplant tomorrow if I was garanteed that it would make me feel like a look better, but its never gauranteed...

And this is to the 20 year old. I know at your age, looks mean a lot to you, but trust me, (and the poster) people will only think of you as that weirdo retarded bald guy in teh group if you play on it, meaning, if they know your are self concious about it, then they WILL think of you as that guy. And it's not easy, but you seriuosly need to be conscious about it when you know people are looking at you. Be aware of it, take in that feeling you get that upsets you so much and take a bath in it. keep doing this, and eventually that pain will dull and when you have social interactions you will actually be social and not be thinking about whats on your head. you'll realize that you are stronger than you thought. And, wallah! you're not the bald guy anymore. You are the interesting, deep guy, or the guy with the nice eyes and smile, or the guy with the ....u get the idea.

Nothing I hate seeing more than a sad looking bald guy, I almost want to yank their arm and yell "dude wake up, its not that bad, the world is big and has lots going on, no one cares about your head, so please stop depressing me"

[moses0324]

tks wonderful post...its about how people percieve you...no one wants to be around a depressed balding guy. on the other hand...if you are outgoing, confident, funny, nice, charming, smart, etc...the world is at your finger tips.

[TKS]

Pharmacueticals... you wouldn't believe the number over ex-college cheerleaders these companies hire!.

that is hilarious, i work for a blood testing lab and most our female sales reps are x pharmaceutical, not to mention they're all hot, and i know for certain that at least one used to cheerlead for the Lions.

[TheDude]

blast from the past

I really enjoyed your post hindsight2020..

I think the most important message is that no matter your situation, you always have options..

Im presently having an internal war with myself as whether to start taking avodart as propecia is no longer working for me..

The point is i could either prolong the inevitable with possible some seriously unwanted side affects or i could try get over it now..

I really don't know what im going to do.. being young and bald is not fun.. but then again as you've mentioned in other words.. I control how i feel about myself and my hairloss and how much I allow it to affect me..

..

[BMT]

Hindsight2020

Thanks for coming in here and giving your experience!

I too know the suffereing hairloss can bring.

Your views are refreshing and much needed. The buddhists say suffereing is resistance to 'what is'. So its not the hairloss itself, its the resistance to it that causes suffereing.

A real happyness needs to be build on a foundation that is unshakable... not what other people think of us, which is out of our control.

The irony is that we go through this to be attractive to Woman. And theres nothing woman hate more than vanity in a man.

[neopolitan65]

positive

I have only just joined tonight, this is the first post i have read. I can see a hell of a lot of resemblance between this guy and me. However i feel that this post gets increasingly positive and actually make me feel better about myself the more i read. I am stuck in a rut and have been since i noticed i was balding at the age of 22. I have had so many questions flying round my head for nearly 2 years and there seems to be no answer. My best friend tells me to embrace going bald and accept that its just a thing that happens, but i find it difficult to think like this. This post is great to read and relate to, i think that going bald is just something that happens to certain men and we should NOT feel ashamed about it...ever.
Thanks!

[Rick]

It gets better.

Do whatever you need to do, but once you stop obsessing over it, life gets so much more fun.

Every now and then you'll have a bad day, and get depressed, but snap out of it and truck along.

Days in a row of not thinking about it become a success. Days becomes weeks, and weeks become months.

I've gone through years now of not being bothered by it, and then maybe for whatever reason, I'll have a bad day, and get down for that one day. But it passes, and you move on.

Life is too short to worry and be down on yourself. You gotta live. No one's waiting for you.