Going bald, and going back...

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  • hindsight2020
    Member
    • May 2010
    • 52

    #31
    Originally posted by Locke
    I just went back to my thread and remembered you posted in there 2020. Thanks for being so helpful and I'll definitely contact you if I'd like to talk about a HT.

    Most HTs look so good...it's almost irresistible considering the way I feel about my hair now.
    I resonded to this in my previous post, but I'll repeat it because pictures were one of the main reason I got a HT....

    Why would people want to show off thier BAD HT. Of course most pictures you look at will be good. But look at them, reaaaally look at them. Notice the lighting, notice the styling, notice the angles. Look at the hairline. Look in the middle of the HT where random thick hairs grow but you can still see the scalp.

    Now, if these people only suffer from minor hairloss (about where you are now judging by your pictures) the HT may look good because they still have A LOT of natural hair to cover up the transplants. But eventually they lose it. Then it becomes obvious. They covered it up. Or.. they keep pumping money into more and more procedures... and who knows what can happen since everyone is different.

    Comment

    • Locke
      Member
      • Apr 2010
      • 75

      #32
      2020 can you call me everyday and be my personal motivational speaker?

      I think you'd do a great job at it, haha.

      I know I have a great personality and have many things going for me and I know I shouldn't worry about my hair but it's just hard to get over. I do feel a lot better about it now though than when it first started. Maybe it's a gradual transition into accepting it.

      Not only that but having other people accept it too. I'm a very social person who's hoping to be a doctor, and the interactions I have with every individual I meet means a lot to me so to have them think differently of me because of my hair frightens me I guess. To have them think I'm ugly because of something I can't control hurts.

      But as you said I cannot change what others think and I can't please everyone (even though I usually go above and beyond my abilities to do this when I can). Maybe this is just something I have to learn the hard way?

      In your story you've said you were very athletic and so maybe these women you were dating attracted to you physically because you were in good shape. But what about guys who aren't physically fit and have no hair? What's there to find physically appealing? I'm not overweight or anything but I'm not in fantastic shape either. That's why I'm going to use my hairloss as a motivational tool to get in better shape!

      Comment

      • hindsight2020
        Member
        • May 2010
        • 52

        #33
        Its not about 'accepting' it. Its about embracing it. I still have hair, lots of it. But I am sick of being a fraud. I am sick of covering up the fact that I'm covering up my baldness. Thats why I say its twice as bad. I am covering up both being bald and having a transplant. Its brutal.

        Sure, I had a really well built body back then (football, baseball, basketball, power lifting) ... but even though I was balding, I carried myself with confidence. I was more worried about looking 'soft' than looking bald. It took me many years to get over my hairloss, but my mistake was not joining a forum like this to help guide my decisions.

        The reason I am so vocal here is because everything I see posted is very negative toward being bald and hairloss. It almost seems like this is a forum for doctors to prey on bald men. While I am not saying HT's are the worst thing in the world, I want to give people more to think about before jumping into one.

        I know what you feel like balding at 22, I was there. I don't want to see other young people do what I did and end up regretting it.. I have scars on my head that will NEVER go away... and I envy those who can shave thier clean bald heads now. I am on the other side of the fence, wishing I DIDN'T have hair.

        Look at it this way, if your a confident guy and have more going on for you than just your hair, then you don't need cosmetic surgery. As you get older you notice women are more attracted to personality and confidence then they are just looks like they are at a younger age. Life would be easier if HTs were cheap and reversable, but they aren't.

        I consdier myself very lucky. I have a lot of confidence with or without hair. It wasn't always like that ... and if I could've figured out who I was when I was 24 it would've saved me 15-20k. Thats a lot of money for something that you want to undo 5 years later.

        I don't want to tell you to 'hang in there' .. because quite frankly, that advice kind of sucks. I will tell you this though, when i got into my late 20's and saw friends and other peers of mine also starting to bald (like I was when I was 18) ... I was thinking 'FINALLY!' ... Now some of those people shave thier heads like I used to. They look great! Now here I am, stuck with a transplant that I hate myself for. I spent so many hours a day making sure it looks ok and can't wear a hat anywhere because if I have to take it off at any point it will look horrible and flat. I worry about swimming because it weighs the hair down and makes me look horrible. I hate wind. I can't buy a motorcylce with my friends because that requires me to wear a helmet, and again, don't wanna wear that and have to take it off without having a comb and mirrior available.

        A HT was just the begining of a lot more problems for me. Different problems... I wasn't bald anymore. But it was actually worse. Everything else I had to do with, not only my looks but how I felt. To me, it isn't worth it.

        Unfortunately for people like fixed by 35, who thinks I am quitting and ugly for being bald. I have chosen to go back to being bald. I don't need acceptance, I already know those aorund me love me with or without hair... thats all that matters to me. People judge me everyday, sometimes its for my hairloss, but sometimes its also for others things... I get judged constantly for having muscles (meat head) ... I am judged for the way I carry myself (people think I am an asshole because I am confident) ... I am judged for not accepting popular views in politics or religion.

        Your always going to be judged... but do you REALLY care what people think when you don't even know thier name?

        Comment

        • Fixed by 35
          Senior Member
          • Mar 2010
          • 618

          #34
          I will tell you this though, when i got into my late 20's and saw friends and other peers of mine also starting to bald (like I was when I was 18) ... I was thinking 'FINALLY!'
          What a bastard. I wouldn't wish hair loss on anyone.

          Comment

          • StayStrongMen
            Member
            • Feb 2010
            • 33

            #35
            Hindsight and many others, thank you for taking the time to write these positive posts. Everyday there are several men who realize they are losing their at such a young age and may possibly suffer the worst panic attack in their lives. (man what a horrible day that was lol).

            But it's postings like this that can honestly change someone's day around, or dare I say life around.

            I know it's inevitable that my hair loss will get much worse than it currently is (already pretty bad), but I am ready for it. I too believe that how you carry yourself is key to letting a problem getting the best of you.

            Now I post here from time to time to support new hairloss sufferers, and hope my thoughts can be a reason they don't torture theirselves as bad as I did.

            Due to my improvements in my personality and my physical shape I honestly think I am more attractive to friends and women post-hair loss compared to pre-hair loss. I would be mega-attractive with hair, but honestly, how many people have perfect hair at 23...not as many as you think! Sometimes I think that it's strange for men to have perfect hair at 30+....almost that women post-college are expecting to find men with a balding head, and those with perfect hair come off as young looking freaks. Back in January I visited college and now that I am more aware of everyone's hair loss, I couldn't believe how many people 18-22 had ascertainable hairloss on the hairline and crown!

            You may often notice that a lot of people tend to come and go on hairloss forums. I think it's because they realize how it's really not as big of a deal as they orginally thought. I totally agree that the younger it starts, the harder it is to battle...but in 5-10 years from now, hair loss is going to mean nothing for most of us compared to when we first noticed it. To win the hairloss battle is to stop caring before the 5-10 years pass by, which is very difficult, but it can be done, and is often done by many.

            Comment

            • hindsight2020
              Member
              • May 2010
              • 52

              #36
              Originally posted by StayStrongMen
              Hindsight and many others, thank you for taking the time to write these positive posts. Everyday there are several men who realize they are losing their at such a young age and may possibly suffer the worst panic attack in their lives. (man what a horrible day that was lol).

              But it's postings like this that can honestly change someone's day around, or dare I say life around.

              I know it's inevitable that my hair loss will get much worse than it currently is (already pretty bad), but I am ready for it. I too believe that how you carry yourself is key to letting a problem getting the best of you.

              Now I post here from time to time to support new hairloss sufferers, and hope my thoughts can be a reason they don't torture theirselves as bad as I did.

              Due to my improvements in my personality and my physical shape I honestly think I am more attractive to friends and women post-hair loss compared to pre-hair loss. I would be mega-attractive with hair, but honestly, how many people have perfect hair at 23...not as many as you think! Sometimes I think that it's strange for men to have perfect hair at 30+....almost that women post-college are expecting to find men with a balding head, and those with perfect hair come off as young looking freaks. Back in January I visited college and now that I am more aware of everyone's hair loss, I couldn't believe how many people 18-22 had ascertainable hairloss on the hairline and crown!

              You may often notice that a lot of people tend to come and go on hairloss forums. I think it's because they realize how it's really not as big of a deal as they orginally thought. I totally agree that the younger it starts, the harder it is to battle...but in 5-10 years from now, hair loss is going to mean nothing for most of us compared to when we first noticed it. To win the hairloss battle is to stop caring before the 5-10 years pass by, which is very difficult, but it can be done, and is often done by many.
              Thanks for the insight Staystrong, sounds like you have a rational approach to life, which is nice to hear. For me, it wasn't about 'not caring anymore' when it came to my hairloss... it was that I cared about it at all.

              Now I know I know, everyone cares about losing thier hair. But not to this degree, not to as far as some people take it on these forums, not as far as I was taking it. What a waste of my time... I fabricated all these lame thoughts in my head about how bad I had it because of my hairloss when in reality, there were no social or economic indicators to back up these thoughts. Rather, I think it was fueld by modern media telling me what I could and should look like if I use thier products.

              Balding isn't even socially acceptable. Its beyond that. Its such a small part of who you are as a person, it effects such a small part of what you can be or accomplish. But it took over my mind. Its a billion dollar industry fueled by money hungry drug companies and doctors looking to capatalize on the insecurities of men. No one is in this business because they feel sorry for us, they just want our money, and if that means making us feel like sh*t ... then so be it. F*ck them.

              Comment

              • KeepTheHair
                Senior Member
                • Mar 2010
                • 1215

                #37
                hindsight2020,

                I am a norwood 3, approaching norwood 3 vertex.


                My life changed a huge, huge amount when I started losing my hair. I was treated much differently when I had all my hair.

                I disagree with you completely that it effects us in a small manner. It had a huge impact.


                Just thinking about it makes me somewhat depressed again...

                Comment

                • level
                  Member
                  • Apr 2010
                  • 98

                  #38
                  Originally posted by hindsight2020
                  Its not about 'accepting' it. Its about embracing it. I still have hair, lots of it. But I am sick of being a fraud. I am sick of covering up the fact that I'm covering up my baldness. Thats why I say its twice as bad. I am covering up both being bald and having a transplant. Its brutal.

                  Sure, I had a really well built body back then (football, baseball, basketball, power lifting) ... but even though I was balding, I carried myself with confidence. I was more worried about looking 'soft' than looking bald. It took me many years to get over my hairloss, but my mistake was not joining a forum like this to help guide my decisions.

                  The reason I am so vocal here is because everything I see posted is very negative toward being bald and hairloss. It almost seems like this is a forum for doctors to prey on bald men. While I am not saying HT's are the worst thing in the world, I want to give people more to think about before jumping into one.

                  I know what you feel like balding at 22, I was there. I don't want to see other young people do what I did and end up regretting it.. I have scars on my head that will NEVER go away... and I envy those who can shave thier clean bald heads now. I am on the other side of the fence, wishing I DIDN'T have hair.

                  Look at it this way, if your a confident guy and have more going on for you than just your hair, then you don't need cosmetic surgery. As you get older you notice women are more attracted to personality and confidence then they are just looks like they are at a younger age. Life would be easier if HTs were cheap and reversable, but they aren't.

                  I consdier myself very lucky. I have a lot of confidence with or without hair. It wasn't always like that ... and if I could've figured out who I was when I was 24 it would've saved me 15-20k. Thats a lot of money for something that you want to undo 5 years later.

                  I don't want to tell you to 'hang in there' .. because quite frankly, that advice kind of sucks. I will tell you this though, when i got into my late 20's and saw friends and other peers of mine also starting to bald (like I was when I was 18) ... I was thinking 'FINALLY!' ... Now some of those people shave thier heads like I used to. They look great! Now here I am, stuck with a transplant that I hate myself for. I spent so many hours a day making sure it looks ok and can't wear a hat anywhere because if I have to take it off at any point it will look horrible and flat. I worry about swimming because it weighs the hair down and makes me look horrible. I hate wind. I can't buy a motorcylce with my friends because that requires me to wear a helmet, and again, don't wanna wear that and have to take it off without having a comb and mirrior available.

                  A HT was just the begining of a lot more problems for me. Different problems... I wasn't bald anymore. But it was actually worse. Everything else I had to do with, not only my looks but how I felt. To me, it isn't worth it.

                  Unfortunately for people like fixed by 35, who thinks I am quitting and ugly for being bald. I have chosen to go back to being bald. I don't need acceptance, I already know those aorund me love me with or without hair... thats all that matters to me. People judge me everyday, sometimes its for my hairloss, but sometimes its also for others things... I get judged constantly for having muscles (meat head) ... I am judged for the way I carry myself (people think I am an asshole because I am confident) ... I am judged for not accepting popular views in politics or religion.

                  Your always going to be judged... but do you REALLY care what people think when you don't even know thier name?
                  Good post hindsight. I think you make some strong points when you say that balding is not the end of the world. I was thinking the same thing the other day; I started comparing hair loss to other diseases-like cancer, aids, amputations, blindness, etc-and I realized that hair loss isn't the end of the world. However, I also sympathize with the guys who are stressing out and want to do something about their hair loss.

                  I know some guys don't want to hear this but it's important to weigh-out the pros and cons of HT, before moving forward. Like you've said and experienced, HT is not a 100% natural, and eventually thinning will continue and the results will start becoming noticeable. A lot of guys think that 1 or 2 HT's can solve their problems, when in reality it would probably take 3 to 4 procedures over the span of their life, and about $100,000 (for a reputable doctor)-even then you won't have the look you use to have when you had a full head of natural hair. Some HT’s are undetectable but that can quickly turn against you, if you don’t have the financial resources to back future procedures. Obviously there are some older guys who are a 2 on the NW scale, that can benefit tremendously from a good HT, but that’s not the case for most of us.

                  Luckily there are other avenues that are being explored-Histogen, PRP, etc-that could help without having to undergo a surgical procedure. I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm more pessimistic than optimistic because for years we've been on the verge of a breakthrough and yet nothing has occurred.

                  I don't think giving up and ignoring the problem is the right way to go. Guys, especially the younger ones, have medicine available to them that can stop or slow down their hair loss, which can buy them time and allow for other technologies to surface.

                  On a couple of occasions, I've been really close to giving HT the green light, but the detectable possibilities have deterred me from moving forward. I've consulted with some of the best HT Doctors-Epstein, Bauman, etc-and I’m financially capable, so my decision to not move forward is more on gut feeling than anything else. That's not to say that guys shouldn't consider it, it just not something I'm willing to commit to at this time.

                  I am going to start taking propecia and maybe rogaine, so that I at least have some chance of holding on to what I got. I know there's the possibility that they might not produce any results, but at least I can say I tried.

                  Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. It’s important for the younger guys to hear testimonies like yours before they act on impulse. Good luck in finding a good repair doctor.

                  Comment

                  • hindsight2020
                    Member
                    • May 2010
                    • 52

                    #39
                    Originally posted by KeepTheHair
                    hindsight2020,

                    I am a norwood 3, approaching norwood 3 vertex.


                    My life changed a huge, huge amount when I started losing my hair. I was treated much differently when I had all my hair.

                    I disagree with you completely that it effects us in a small manner. It had a huge impact.


                    Just thinking about it makes me somewhat depressed again...
                    I think your absolutley correct, my owrding may have been a bit... off.

                    In your world, your own little world in your mind. balding is the worse thing ever. You say your life changed 'huge' when you started balding. Why? Did you get kicked out of school? Did your girlfriend of 5 years dump you? Did you lose your job? Why did your life change huge?

                    I am willing to bet none of those things happened, not even close. Maybe some comments, but from what I read that you posted, those comments were about as bad and critical as someone asking you what happened after you got a bad sunburn.

                    You say your life changed huge... I am willing to bet your life hasn't changed at all, only your outlook has changed. No one likes you more or less, you have no more or less money, ect. Its all a perception. Do you think anyone else is sitting in thier residence right now talking about your hairloss? Probably not. No one else cares that your going bald, you just think they do. Thats why your life changed, its all in your head.

                    I know thats not easy to understand, I didn't at your age. But its the truth. Don't buy into the bullsh*t that big hairloss drug companies publish about balding. They don't care if your hair grows back or not, they just want your money. They will say and do anything (indirectly, to make it appear as if they have your best interest in mind) to get you to buy into the fact that your ugly and no one likes a bald guy.

                    Like you said, your life changed HUGE... no it didn't, your attitude did.

                    Comment

                    • hindsight2020
                      Member
                      • May 2010
                      • 52

                      #40
                      @level

                      I also sympathize for them. I just dont like when they put others down. Fixed by 35 is a prime exaple when he constantly spews his BS all over these forums saying anyone with hair loss is ugly and wont make anything of thier lives. That such a little b*tch way out.

                      Its clear hes not happy and that sucks... but why go out of your way to bring other people down with you? Does that make you feel better... to know other people are now more depressed after reading your bullsh*t then they were before they came here? Its pathetic.

                      I know not everyone shares my opinion in that a shaved head is a great look. I like it for many reasons that I wont go into because they are only important to me. I know how bad my perception on life was when I started balding, I know how some of these guys feel. But I NEVER gave up on life.

                      I hope more than anything that a cure for baldness comes out soon. Without genetically engineering your DNA, I don't think its possible. But I've been wrong before. One thing I do know is I am not going to curl up and hibernate for the rest of my life waiting for a cure... I feel sorry for those that do. I wish them all the best, even fixed by 35.

                      Comment

                      • Fixed by 35
                        Senior Member
                        • Mar 2010
                        • 618

                        #41
                        I also sympathize for them. I just dont like when they put others down. Fixed by 35 is a prime exaple when he constantly spews his BS all over these forums saying anyone with hair loss is ugly and wont make anything of thier lives. That such a little b*tch way out.

                        Its clear hes not happy and that sucks... but why go out of your way to bring other people down with you? Does that make you feel better... to know other people are now more depressed after reading your bullsh*t then they were before they came here? Its pathetic.
                        It's called honesty and it's fair comment to pass on what I know and what I have experienced. If you have not, then bully for you. You're a very lucky statistic indeed.

                        The way you claim drug companies are only after our money is naive and again makes me doubt your credentials. Propecia has been a commercial flop to the extent that they never bothered with Avodart. They carry on selling it simply to meet the demand. Yes, they make some profit from it, but it's insignificant compared to other drugs that they produce.

                        Sure, there are snake oil companies, but you can't class them in the same bracket as Merck or Glaxosmithkline Beecham!

                        Perception is one of the worst facts about baldness. The reason no one else seems to care is because to them, you're just some tired old bald bloke who isn't worth worrying about. Just a statistic in the background, a second rate man. People don't care, because you are nothing to them.

                        Back when I had hair, I found it easy to form a positive relationship with new people. I also had an ability to blag, I must confess. These skills were lost when I lost my hair - explain that one.

                        As for hibernating, no way. I'm just banking up the professional qualifications at the moment - it's something positive I can do in solitude which will allow me to be my own boss working from home one day. Oh, and occasionally making the lives of those with hair utterly miserable, should time allow

                        Comment

                        • StayStrongMen
                          Member
                          • Feb 2010
                          • 33

                          #42
                          Originally posted by Fixed by 35
                          Perception is one of the worst facts about baldness. The reason no one else seems to care is because to them, you're just some tired old bald bloke who isn't worth worrying about. Just a statistic in the background, a second rate man. People don't care, because you are nothing to them.
                          That statistic is 40 million men in the United States (your favorite country) alone, and that's likely the low end, as individuals that are balding but never reach nw 6-7 are probably not included in that number.

                          Originally posted by Fixed by 35
                          Oh, and occasionally making the lives of those with hair utterly miserable, should time allow
                          Get some physiological help, I guarantee you will start appreciating life a lot more than you do now.

                          Comment

                          • [mcr]
                            Member
                            • Dec 2009
                            • 99

                            #43
                            Maybe there is some cultural difference between the UK and US where in the UK bald people are ridiculed. I'd say it's pretty minimal around here, I can't recall making fun of someone, or someone making fun of me in any significant way. Could it be that the British are more inclined to snide remarks?

                            Comment

                            • KeepTheHair
                              Senior Member
                              • Mar 2010
                              • 1215

                              #44
                              Guys, save your energy for researching possible solutions to our problems.


                              Has anyone tried DermMatch yet? Perhaps something else?

                              Anything? Any other growth stimulants? Any tips about anything at all? Any supplements like MSM and biotin to increase hair growth and quality? Anything?

                              Come on. Let's focus on what we CAN do...please. Let's not use our energy against each other.


                              Oh, and YES our options are limited, but we have a lot of them. Some will work.

                              Comment

                              • Fixed by 35
                                Senior Member
                                • Mar 2010
                                • 618

                                #45
                                That statistic is 40 million men in the United States (your favorite country)
                                I really like the USA, although I've never been there. I know I make the odd joke about the country, but that's the British sense of humour for you. We don't tend to make many jokes about things we really don't like, such as the Iraq war, only things that we do.

                                Like any country, the USA has its problems, but these are far outweighed by what is good. It's not the best place to do business because of different laws making it difficult to do things interstate and it's not the most productive country in the world, but nor is Britain! On the plus side, its people are much more friendly (generally speaking) and prepared to stand up for themselves than in the UK, which deserves a lot of respect. Big respect especially to the Democrats for the way they're making BP account for themselves.

                                Maybe there is some cultural difference between the UK and US where in the UK bald people are ridiculed. I'd say it's pretty minimal around here, I can't recall making fun of someone, or someone making fun of me in any significant way. Could it be that the British are more inclined to snide remarks?
                                People in the UK might have a lot of laughs at your expense when you first show signs of balding (I was mocked relentlessly by a colleague for the first six months until I pointed out how fat he was to the whole office. I mean, this guy was FAT - at least by UK standards, I know the US invented the word ).

                                Generally, British people can be very snide. Humour is mostly derived from exploiting the negative element of a positive thing. Hence, I make a joke about fat people in the USA because obesity in the USA is higher than in any other country (negative element of a positive thing).

                                A human being is generally a positive thing who will have negative traits. Most you are not allowed to make fun of now, because you'll end up being done for discrimination or work place bullying. Oddly, baldness is an exception (cases of bullying because of baldness have always been lost in Employment Tribunals, whereas bullying for being a bit thick have not).

                                As Britain becomes a more competitive place to live and work, this humour is taking on a dark side. Negative traits and, yes, baldness is one of them, will be exploited for gain by others. Surveys by the CIPD regularly show looks sell and better looking people earn more. Fat people are the most discriminated against (at least they can control it), followed by bald people, followed by older people and so on.

                                Indeed, this discrimination has not been all bad. It has motivated me to keep up my legal studies and I have gained qualifications in Employment Law already. I look forward to teaching a few people a lesson when I have finished!

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