The Shaved Head

[Jack21]

My grandfather was bald by his early twenties. He was an army officer and rose to the rank of Lieutenant General before being appointed embassador to numerous countries over the span of about 10 years. I have no idea how he felt about being bald. Maybe he was miserable, but he certainly managed to achieve a great deal in his life. He sure as hell didn't sit around and feel sorry for himself like I'm doing right now. I made it to sgt. if anyone is interested. Not quite the same.

It sounds like your following in your fathers footsteps somewhat. I sympathise with people who struggle with baldness.....but to have it rule your life isnt worth it. Either shave your head or get a hair transplant, other than that its pointless fretting too much...
At least your post shows that a bald man can be successfull in business and be a millionaire ( this idea is impossible for 'fixed by 35 to accept).

[jooder]

Geminidb8 - so what your saying is..... your dad only got wealthy when he started to wear an ill fitting wig in his late 50's?
I dont have a problem with people who shave their head, i also dont have a problem with people who choose a hair transplant or even medication. But make a choice and go through with it......posting on a forum day after day about how every option is rubbish is just a total waste of a life.
There are people who visit this site a little depressed about hair loss and looking for options to help them - of which there are a few. By the time they have read comments by 'fixed by 35', they are more likely to feel suicidal than more positive about things. There are some people in this world who have a downer on everything.....nothing is ever good enough, always something to moan about. If it wasnt baldness it would be something else.
I agree with others have have posted positively.......grow some balls, make a decision....and see it through. There is nothing wrong with keeping an eye out for the latest developments in hair restoration....but to have it dictate every facet of your life must be terrible.

[dgman21]

Thanks for the feedback Jooder. After I shower in the morning or when it rains thats when I freak out the most because you can see so much of my scalp. I understand what fixed is talking about how deppressing it makes me. I gotta think of the positive things in life.

[Fixed by 35]

I never said it was impossible for a bald man to be successful; my point was that they have to be far better at what they do than others in order to succeed.

Appearance dominates the corporate world, especially now women are entering the board rooms. A pretty boy can hide behind his image to boost how he is perceived by his superiors and can also use his image to deflect criticism onto his ugly colleagues. Bald men only stand a chance when they're a hell of a lot better at what they do. That's why when you do see a successful bald man, you know he is the very best in his industry. However, average bald blokes spend their lives at the bottom of the corporate ladder.

Check out your company and what you'll see is a disproportionately low number of bald men climbing the ranks and sitting in the board room (in theory, based on average age 50% of the men in the board room should be bald, but are they?). I did well to get onto the third rung, but I was far more qualified and experienced than my immediate 'superiors,' mostly men the same age with lots of hair and loose morals.

I now run a faceless private company doing back office pensions administration and earn a lot more money, from home. I've employed a pretty boy to sell the company!

[Jack21]

courage

I spent the day with a group of high school kids at an academic tournament. I used to compete in high school and now I read and moderate a few Saturdays a year or coach the group from my alma mater. This year the team from my old HS had one kid in a wheelchair and one kid with one arm. I know that this sounds like some sort of bad joke, but its not. The kid with the one arm had his long sleeve rolled up so that the amputated limb was visible. I am no expert but it didn't look like a traumatic but a congenital amputation. I didn't ask him obviously. The kid in the wheelchair was not paralyzed. I was told that he has a disease akin to ALS but I don't really know. He is also virtually bald - at 16.

These kids compteted and I wish I could say that they won but they didn't. They were very good and made it to the semifinals. It was a long day with a quite a bit of down time between matches so I got the chance to talk to both of them. There they were not just not sitting in the house feeling sorry for themselves, but out competing in front of close to a hundred of their peers. I just thought to myself "How the **** can you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and thinking about just throwing in the towel when you see such amazing acts of inner strength? I don't mean that b/c they are handicapped they are strong. I mean that they get out and live their lives despite of their handicaps. They know everyone stares. They know everyone is uncomfortable around them at first but they soldier on. I know that this is getting way off topic, but I thought that I had to share this.

I will say again that I have not made peace with baldness I have not even come close to being comfortable with it. I wake up every morning and the two or three seconds I have before remembering that I have shaved my head are the only misery free seconds of my day. But if these kids can soldier on, I mean I have to stop this. We all do. We can not allow this to ruin our lives. I am talking just as much to myself as I am to anyone else.

I never said it was impossible for a bald man to be successful; my point was that they have to be far better at what they do than others in order to succeed.

Appearance dominates the corporate world, especially now women are entering the board rooms. A pretty boy can hide behind his image to boost how he is perceived by his superiors and can also use his image to deflect criticism onto his ugly colleagues. Bald men only stand a chance when they're a hell of a lot better at what they do. That's why when you do see a successful bald man, you know he is the very best in his industry. However, average bald blokes spend their lives at the bottom of the corporate ladder.

Check out your company and what you'll see is a disproportionately low number of bald men climbing the ranks and sitting in the board room (in theory, based on average age 50% of the men in the board room should be bald, but are they?). I did well to get onto the third rung, but I was far more qualified and experienced than my immediate 'superiors,' mostly men the same age with lots of hair and loose morals.

I now run a faceless private company doing back office pensions administration and earn a lot more money, from home. I've employed a pretty boy to sell the company!

[dgman21]

Jack exactly. We need to figure a way to get through this!!

[geminidb8]

I would say yes my fathers image made him more money. His bald brothers are not millionaires & were in the same business as he was and made fun of my dads wig. But of course he got the last laugh. Elton John and Burt Reynolds and rumor has it ben affleck is wears hair. Image is very important in the world. I hate wigs but wore one for 14 years and looking back it was better than going in public with a disfigured head. I am now much, much happier with my corrective surgery. In fact the more hair I get the better I feel. I am in my 40s and knew all along that I would feel better with hair. I would recommend A HT if performed by the right surgeon. Since I worked in the industry and saw people every day for 5 years I know the effects of balding. I will never forget a kid who was 14 and had alopecia. He was so down his parents told me all he did was sit at home all day. We fitted him with a full cap wig which he did not like but luckily for him his hair did return after cortisone shots. He was a completely different person with hair. So yes hair does matter and not everyone loves this shaved head look. Very very few IMO look OK this way. But go ahead and tell yourselves you look great that way if it makes you feel better. Even if it is a total lie. Do what makes you feel ( or in your mind feel ) good. I have seen how society has treated me with more hair also. There definitely is a prejudice towards bald people. Don't kid yourself and say there isn't. I will state again this needs a cure.

[geminidb8]

I also think not everyone is a soldier. I never wanted to be one and no person I know does. Every person is different. I can also tell you that many who do go out and put on the bravado act are just indeed acting. This stuff is terrible. I go out a lot now that I have decent hair. But looking back if this were to happen again I would stay home again because I just did not look or feel right. No regrets there. It is just unethical that many doctors screwed up so many people. I have read of 3 suicides from botched hair surgery. People will write in and say all the positives and IF one feels ok with the way they look then and only then will this problem be ok. No person could have told me or the millions of wig wearers to just accept things because you will be talking to a wall. Get hair somehow or some way because if you do not like the shaved head look you will never ever get better until you do...

[dgman21]

So gemi how bald were u before your surgery,how many grsafts did u get and what surgon how long ago?

[Jack21]

Of course there is a prejudice against bald men. That's not the point. The point is being able to overcome the prejudice. 50 years ago did African American people sit and home and say "I'm black and there is no way that I will ever be treated equally so why not just kill myself"? If people with far, far worse afflictions than balding can get out there and live life like those two kids I met yesterday then we baldies have got to just deal with it. OK I'm not good looking like I used to be. I may actually be ugly, but I am not going to allow that to prevent me from living life anymore. I am going into week 2 of rocking the #1 guard. Its been miserable but I will continue to soldier on b/c I will not allow myself to wallow in self pity any longer. I went out last night to a comedy show and I have to say that all 3 of the guys made some bald jokes. I will also say that about 1/4 of all the guys there were bald/balding/shaved. I went w/o a ball cap. I had a few drinks, a few laughs and enjoyed my evening. I am still miserable with my bald head and it will probably take me close to as year or maybe even more to get used to it, but I am no longer hiding under a stupid rug.

I would say yes my fathers image made him more money. His bald brothers are not millionaires & were in the same business as he was and made fun of my dads wig. But of course he got the last laugh. Elton John and Burt Reynolds and rumor has it ben affleck is wears hair. Image is very important in the world. I hate wigs but wore one for 14 years and looking back it was better than going in public with a disfigured head. I am now much, much happier with my corrective surgery. In fact the more hair I get the better I feel. I am in my 40s and knew all along that I would feel better with hair. I would recommend A HT if performed by the right surgeon. Since I worked in the industry and saw people every day for 5 years I know the effects of balding. I will never forget a kid who was 14 and had alopecia. He was so down his parents told me all he did was sit at home all day. We fitted him with a full cap wig which he did not like but luckily for him his hair did return after cortisone shots. He was a completely different person with hair. So yes hair does matter and not everyone loves this shaved head look. Very very few IMO look OK this way. But go ahead and tell yourselves you look great that way if it makes you feel better. Even if it is a total lie. Do what makes you feel ( or in your mind feel ) good. I have seen how society has treated me with more hair also. There definitely is a prejudice towards bald people. Don't kid yourself and say there isn't. I will state again this needs a cure.

[dgman21]

My fear is if I do shave my head and am at one of those comedy shows that the comedian will comment about me-hair issues. I wouldn't know how to take that. It would just killl me.

[geminidb8]

I have had over 32 surgeries in all. My first was when I was 21 by Dr. Deyarman from Beverly Hills Ca. in 1986. He did two sessions of 150 grafts. Back then they did small numbers in grafting. It was strip. Then I went to Nu-hart and had 2 more sessions of 100 grafts. Then I had 4 surgeries with Dr. Brandy in 1988 and 1989. This is when I had the " Hairlift" which destroyed my scalp with scars- it was a bi-temporal flap. Nu- Hart used the old punch graft method. Then I went to Bio-Medic clinic in Chicago and had 3 Surgeries done by DR. Shelly Friedman approx 300 grafts. ( he was not a bad doctor) then they contracted Dr. Matt Leavitt ( MHR) and he did 9 surgeries consisting of Scalp reductions -4 , Scar Revisions ( which never worked) 3 and two sessions of grafting. Approx 300 grafts done by him. Only Dr. Friedman's work was ok. I should have stayed with him but it was strip and I would have still had problems. By then my scalp looked like a trainwreck so from 1993 to 2007 I wore a full cap wig. I could make it look ok and felt better than with all of the scars but when I moved to a Hot climate, it was impossible to keep it on. So from that point I decided to go to Dr. Woods in Australia because several websites stated that he did not use a medical disclosure ( something that gives Doctors too much power in court) and he did great repair work. I would say that all in all I look 80 to 90% better and feel much better than before. I just had my last session on sept 7th and 8th so my results in some areas are still in progress. I have had over 7500 grafts by all the doctors but some were thrown away by Dr. Brandy because of the Hairlift & Scalp reductions received by Dr. Leavitt. I have spent well over 100 grand in total since 1986 not only in surgeries but on Hairpieces, medical (Minoxidil, propecia & Avodart) and other crap that did nothing. I tried to shave my Head back in 1985 (in the summer) and absolutely hated it. I felt I had to live with a knife in my heart. I could not do it. In retrospect I should have not done any transplants back then but the doctors kept promising a great look. It is their negligence that led to false hopes and empty promises. I think if people can get on with their lives with a shaved head good for them but even now I could never do it. I would be depressed 24/7. Every person must choose the correct route for themselves. As far as rugs well even though everyone makes fun of them I do not see the Hairpiece companies going out of business. In fact my friend who wears one and sell them makes close to 85 grand. They are a pain but in some professions like actors /sales image is too important. I knew of one person whose company told him if he did not get hair he would be out of a job. This was years ago but still applies today. Good luck to all but remember to respect what others choose to do even if it means you do not agree with that persons choice. Every person is different and until a cure comes this will always be a problem. For some much more so than others.

[Fixed by 35]

If a comedian tried to make a joke about my hairline, I would walk out on the performance. I might have a disfiguring hair condition, but it doesn't mean I have to take that crap from someone whose career has probably peaked getting cheap laughs in a provincial theatre.

I would also make sure to publish their name on this website to make sure people suffering from hair loss are well informed and know to boycott the prat.

[Jack21]

There were three comics and every one of them made at least one bald joke. The guy sitting right in front of me was bald and so was the dude behind him (me). We have to be able to laugh at ourselves. They weren't malicious jokes - more like "we all have an idea of what losing our hair is like" (the first comic had a receding hairline). After his joke (and a few groans from the audience) he said (pointing to his head) "hey, look at me. This story is not going to end well." Everyone was made fun of. Every ethnic group, women. It was not exactly PC (I mean its the Tosh. O tour). Its comedy central guys. Nothing is taboo. Anyway, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves. You are allowing this to just kill you. I am also super miserable about the situation I'm in, but I am trying (god knows) to come to terms with it and salvage some sort of life. I have chronic pain in both shoulders from an incident in the army. It sucks, but after 6 years I've learned to live with it. I am really hoping that the same will be true of my shaved head.

If a comedian tried to make a joke about my hairline, I would walk out on the performance. I might have a disfiguring hair condition, but it doesn't mean I have to take that crap from someone whose career has probably peaked getting cheap laughs in a provincial theatre.

I would also make sure to publish their name on this website to make sure people suffering from hair loss are well informed and know to boycott the prat.

[Weedwacker]

As far as being ridiculed for being a bald man, well, being a bald man, I can relate to that. Honestly, I seldom get made fun of for my baldness. I have been ragged-on a few times but mostly it was for the sake of light humor(whatever that means.) When I was 20, and about a Norwood 5, I went for a job interview for some debt consolidation job(I can't remember exactly the position)and two women blatently teased me for it;they were looking over at me and laughing. Now, when I was 20 I was 145 pounds and had a baby-face which made me look like a kid;furthemore, I had my head buzzed to less than 1/8 inch. My situation was bad because I looked very young(I have the Leonardo Dicaprio syndrome, my face doesn't age very quickly.) I was teased in high school for it;you think fat kids get made fun of.

I think part of my acceptance of being bald has to do with age. I was a train wreck because of my premature baldness up until about the age of 28;perhaps, this had to do with how young I was. You're not supposed to dome when you're 17 as I did;you're supposed to begin balding when you're 50 or 60. Now that I'm 33 I have come to accept it more. From personal experience, it usually gets better with age.

People who tease you for being bald are usually just insecure or miserable people;for instance, the kid who made fun of me the most in high school was teased because he was about 5'4" and skinny. The interesting thing is that everyone who has ever trashed me for being bald has multiple imperfections themselves;I just laugh it off. Unless you look like a male German super model or you look like Jessica Beal(spelling?), you have no right to make fun of anyone for anything physical.