The Shaved Head

[Fixed by 35]

You make a point about softening the image of a shaven headed man. I dont always think this is necessary but i take your point. I think getting a tan, getting teeth fixed etc can aid this process.

Teeth and tans? Maybe in the US, but not in the UK. The only way you'll get a tan here will be along with a good dose of cancer from a sunbed! As for teeth - well, you know what us Brits are like with dentists. In fact, people with amazingly white teeth are more ridiculed here than bald people!

You say that kenny looks thuggish.... but you are seeing one snapshot of his life. In person he may smile a lot, laugh a lot.....when he meets people he may shake their hand and put them at ease. So the difference in seeing one pic or spending 30 seconds with the man may be enormous.

Here's the problem though. That's fine with family and friends but it's not okay in other scenarios. Think about, for example, a job interview. The split second prejudice of the interviewer takes more than half an hour to go away, surely? And if the interview subject is not themselves (how many of us can be ourselves in job interviews? I can't - telling them I'd rather be pulling my fingernails out than working for the smug git on the other side of the desk might be the truth but it doesn't pay as well!)

Perhaps more alarming is the lack of release for a man with a shaven head. If you need to make a complaint about a service in public, for example at an airport, it is far more difficult to do so if you look intimidating. Sometimes, the best way to get a good service is to build a rapport - since I started going bald I lost this ability and I imagine a shaven head is a lost cause in this activity! You haven't got enough time for the person you're complaining to to really know you and you have to be firm. However, with a shaven head, it probably looks more thuggish than firm. I'm more likely to have to talk down to a service rep these days because the f**kers won't do their job any other way!

[jooder]

I disagree...... i credit most people with more intelligence than to make a single judgement in a split second.... then stick to it whilst disregarding other, overwhelming factors.
I think you would do well to work on your self esteem.... im not having a go - i honestly believe its a big issue for you. In life, people get criticised for everything....being bald, having white teeth, being rich , being poor, being too mean, being too nice.The trick is to be happy with yourself.... something you seem to lack?

[Fixed by 35]

With the exception of hair loss, I am very happy with who I am, maybe even arrogantly so.

The frustration exists because of a failure to both be who I am and be perceived as such. That was never a problem before, whereas now it is a problem that is huge.

People DO make split second judgments. These are often subconscious and they have no idea that they've been so arbitrary. We ARE on the receiving end, along with fat people, tall or flat chested women and short men, among others. We will continue to be on the receiving end until either we can control the gene that causes hair loss or control the gene that causes split second perception.

Guess which one I think is easier to achieve?

In the meantime, the only resource is to fight back. I never give men with full heads of hair jobs; sod them, they have ample opportunities elsewhere. I also give them a hard time to balance out the misery. It's not the most rewarding thing to do, but the alternative is to come second all the time.

[jooder]

The problem that faces you is that you presume that most people are as prejudiced as yourself.
Example.... a good looking girl, fun to be with..... but she is flat chested. Therefore she must be dumped?.....thats ridiculous.

[Fixed by 35]

I agree it is ridiculous. I disagree when you say it isn't something to worry about. It is alarmingly common.

[jooder]

Its ridiculous that you think peoples minds work that way.....there may be a few people who would, but most sane people have more about them.

[Fixed by 35]

We'd certainly like to think that.

[mark-1]

Can we see a photo of fixed by 35?

I bet your hairloss isn't even that bad

[NateDog]

Everything I read on these forums tend to gear towards Hair Transplants

They can be great if you have minimal hair loss and the older you are obviously the better. Older guys can get away with thin comb overs.

We all worry about our looks and our youth. Getting older is a scarey thing. And the stigma that goes with balding. Shaving your head is just another way of dealing with acceptance just as using a concealor or wigs or even if you sport the hair you have and stay on the meds. Its just a way of dealing with it.

I wish I could find that happy medium. And I am envious not of guys with hair but of all the people out there that are not on these forums fuelling each other with negative thoughts and opinions

[thejdizzle]

shaving your head is a great way to mentally deal with hair loss. no more bullshit. plus i look rugged. so much better than a comb-over existence i imagine a lot of people live

[NateDog]

Honestly think if you can sport the look of a shaved head (or buzzed down) then this is not the forum for you

As much as everyone wants to think this forum is geared towards hair loss sufferers and support its more geared towards information and prevention of hair loss and fixing it via transplants and medications. What it tends to fuel is a loop of hope and loss and denial

If you look good shaved I am jealous plus get out there and get off this forum. Your life will be far more positive then the rest of us in here who fail to find acceptance. Im still too chicken sh1t to shave my head I aint fat but my head shape aint the best... My advice to anyone thinking of doing it if they can get the courage to try it then do it... stay on the meds (you wont be any balder then you would of been anyway) but you gotta be in the right mindset and ready to accept a new look. If you just go ahead and buzz it or shave and think you will be happy you probably will regret it. Its the whole acceptance thing. Sooner accepted the sooner our lives will mean something again. Easier said then done though

[NateDog]

What is the point of debating whether we think bald guys are ugly or not who gives a f***

Want hair get a hair transplant or hair system

Want to try the shaved or bald look go for it

Plenty of women love the sly look plenty do not and some do not care such is the dating game. But honestly if you are some fat schmoe then with or without hair chances are the ladies do not flock to you anyway

[Fixed by 35]

Please don't call it sly. It might be a lot of things, but sly is not one of them! I've even heard it being described as the ultimate badge of insecurity, because a more secure person wouldn't feel any need to shave his remaining hair in order to be 'accepted.'

[NateDog]

Well again who cares if one calls it sly or a badge of insecurity does it really matter... It is irrelevant

Each person is different and they do whatever they have to do to get through each day. We all share something in common and that is hair loss... So bagging someone for trying to move forward seems hypocritical (ie shaving their heads)

We should all just focus on ourselves instead of seeking advice or approval from others to make the decisions for us because alot of the answers I read on these forums are not constructive and more so based on opinions fueled by a persons own resentment about their hair loss condition

[ThinFast]

Truthfully, I'm considering shaving my head and it's not cause I'm embarassed about losing my hair. The real reason is because I simply do not have the ability to make my hair style the way I want. It just looks weird when you have diffuse thinning all on top of your head, there's no good way to style it.