life is shitty right now...

[smileyface19]

I'm not a bad guy. In fact, quite the opposite. I need to empower myself because I feel like no one else is helping me out in this department anymore as of this afternoon. I don't love you anymore because you don't love me. I'm scared that I'll spend the rest of my life alone because I've seen it happen before and its never a romantic site to see. How can there be so many people in the world and yet feel so empty when it comes to finding my someone. This is absolutely unfair that I can't have what others have, partly because of my attitude towards myself and my attention to my attitude towards myself. I'm not perfect, but no one is. This is something that can be learned only with age, which is brutal now because I ought to be living and instead I'm sinking, with no safety raft in site anywhere. I love being outside, I love playing guitar, I love cannabis, I love to feel wanted and sometimes even needed. I've never been a fan of lemmings, and feel like they are only pawns in a much greater game being played by our brilliant ignorance. Society loves football and shopping, and I don't. Everyone looks so effortlessly beautiful in their youth and sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself that I just look normal. What a test in life to be able to have beaten, if it can be beaten at all. I'm done with hoping tomorrow will be better because I could die tomorrow, and my yesterday will have been worth little, always praying upon the tomorrow that never arrived. Safety is real but hardly advocated and I feel like sometimes I need to feel safe. Life is so scary sometimes and so unbearably painful too. I do have good days and bad days, but lately I feel like the bad are outweighing the good based on life experiences thus far in my early life. Good news is there is only one way up from down here. My ideal situation involves a beautiful woman on a beautiful day, in a summer dress with no make up. Just my camping beauty that only I have access to. It hurts to not be able to find her right now though, although I sometimes feel like I'm hardly looking anymore because of my own issues about my appearance to the world. I need her now the most. I hope she finds me soon.

[KeepTheHair]

I know how you feel. It's all really retarded.



Lately my hair has been getting a lot better...my regimen is really working...yay me. But what about all the other people out there? What if my regimen didn't work? Stops working?

Really though... I took my hair for granted when I still had a lot of it. Today I have great hair compared to anyone who is going bald..but it definitely much worse than someone in their teens.


I am glad I finally got completely obsessed about it and did some reading. It's still a really sad thing. What about the people in norwood 6 that feel like I felt? Do they just wait until they no longer care?

From my experience most people are pretty much the same... they all want to be appreciated and with hair loss....dammit

I can tell how my attitude towards life and my emotional status is picking up a lot since my hair is getting so much better lately. It's a miracle... I didn't think it would get this much better. It is still improving and if I am right I will have awesome hair if I grow it out...yay me.... I spend all my time and money on this crap so I guess something good should happen.

Time passes pretty quick man. Brace yourself and just be tough. Don't let it beat you up... Better treatments and cures are definitely on the way. You won't but blink and then they will be available. Time felt is only the present. It will be before your eyes soon enough. Your job right now is just to work hard in life and do what you can. Life is still awesome no matter what. There really is hope man. Just succeed otherwise...I know it's tough, but you can do it.


Good luck man...

[jooder]

Have a look at 'change your life in seven days' by paul mckenna.....
Its a great way to alter your perception on yourself and also others around you.
Obviously the seven days thing is a marketing gimmick, but stick to it over a month or so and see the difference it makes..

[KeepTheHair]

Have a look at 'change your life in seven days' by paul mckenna.....
Its a great way to alter your perception on yourself and also others around you.
Obviously the seven days thing is a marketing gimmick, but stick to it over a month or so and see the difference it makes..

Yeah I heard of another book too that is really good, "How to live a shitty life and successfully delude yourself into thinking hair loss is not a big deal. IN ONLY 1 month."



I am sorry man but I doubt my mind can EVER accept this ****ing nonsense.

[jooder]

I suggested the book because it seems to me that he also has other issues going on in his life...... he seems very unhappy....... and learning to be happy with your self has to be the first step in overcoming this. Reading a book may be a first step towards that.
Keep the hair - sometimes smearing chemicals all over your head doesnt bring you true happiness....life is about more than that. Given your age its maybe understandable that you think you know it all. Maybe consider giving someone who is very depressed constructive advice...... not just advocating the use of a drug which has depression as one of the potential side effects.

[KeepTheHair]

Man, I know my reply was retarded and rude. I am just sick of people telling me it's in my head and crap like that.


I just wish that the damn treatments would have been more popular and better understood by the general public so that I could have started using it earlier. That way... many people could have saved hair. But everyone starts the damn treatments AFTER several years of denial. ..................


Dammit.


Well, my advice is...get money fix the hair and then be happy. Because I am very sure the hair loss is the cause and not just whatever else a book can supposedly fix..


edit: yeah, and I apologize

[jooder]

Keep the hair - no problem. I guess we are both trying to help the guy in our own way : )
For some people, fixing their hair issues alone may bring them the increased confidence they desire. A lot of people though become addicted to negative feelings in general, and the cycle can be hard to break.

[Gr8Baldeani]

I have major mental issues with my hair as well, I feel your pain, on concealers, embarrassed to have a relationship, about to shave my head....however; if this is the biggest problem you have consider yourself lucky. As bad as I get with my hair problem, I see people everyday who my heart goes out to and it makes me think I am in fact lucky.

[Fixed by 35]

The reason I don't like the pop-psychology when it comes to hair loss is because it attempts to make something very simple extremely complicated.

I can explain my mental state in a few sentences, like this:

2002: Full head of hair. Happy.

2003: Receding hairline. Not as happy.

2004-2009: Hair all over top of head thinner. Very unhappy, zero confidence.

2010: 'Thinner' becoming definitely bald. Extremely unhappy, but learned to be confidence about other things over the past six years so slightly better in that regard.

Future: Likely to be bald all over. Extremely depressing. However, some very promising products available. Extremely optimistic.

Now, that's a lot easier than the endless paragraphs of misplaced optimism that we hear from others. It's okay and healthy to be depressed about baldness, because baldness is depressing. Don't feel like you have to dramatically change your life to cope with it. Don't start running off to the gym or waste time and money on your appearance; that's all just a futile waste of life. Just get on the big three, then just go on with life as it was before.

The interaction with others is also far more simple than people sometimes like to suggest. It can be summed up in one line. Mature people don't consciously care about your hair loss, but sub-consciously they do. (I guess that's why so many women post that bald is sexy on the internet, then go out with a man with hair)!

So, for example, when you go for a job interview, especially if the interviewer is a man, they're not going to give a damn about what you look like, only how much you could be worth to the company. But, sub consciously, their brain will trick them into believing better looking people will be worth more. However, their brain will only be tricked into thinking this if the candidate is so stunning that they just ooze charisma, and even then they might be considered a threat and potential rival!

I really don't know how this plays into other social interactions.

But then I think this is what I've learned recently. Being bald and therefore ugly is not necessarily a bad thing, provided you know how to use it to your advantage. Sure, you'll occasionally miss the big job opportunity or not get the girl you wanted, but then it'll open doors to working and living with people who don't care about your appearance. In other words, being balding has become a license for me to become a slob! And it's great.

Also, because I'm bald, people have lower expectations of me, so I don't have to work very hard to exceed those expectations. Also great.

Best of all, despite being in a dead end job with low expectations, I don't have to care anymore, because despite that I've still done the best I possibly could with the crap cards I was dealt. So I am satisfied.

[st3v]

Wow, this thread is so depressing... Guys, get over it.

YOUR THOUGHT PROCESSES are the cause of your problems, not your baldness.

[KeepTheHair]

Wow, this thread is so depressing... Guys, get over it.

YOUR THOUGHT PROCESSES are the cause of your problems, not your baldness.

No.

As my hair has been getting better so have my mental state. Humans operate in the following manner(this is going to sound stupid/crazy): If an experience stays constant it gets "boring" etc and they aren't happy with it anymore. We always seek improvement. So, when your hair gets worse and worse...this can be incredibly annoying and life changing. You have to change who you are. The image you want of yourself dies and you become someone you don't want to be.



I agree though, this whole thing and thinking about it doesn't really make it any better. People really should just try to move on....but I don't blame them for not being able to. Hair loss really sucks. Saying baldness is not the cause here is just simply ignorant.

[Fixed by 35]

I'm not depressed. I'm just a realist, that's all.

I've come to terms with the fact that I have a second rate scalp, that occasionally it will be a set back and occasionally it won't and best of all, I have a free pass to be a slob because nothing, absolutely nothing, will do any good. I can focus on study, you know - the internal stuff, because the external stuff is a lost cause and shouldn't matter anyway.

I've also reminded myself that although I'll never be pleased with my appearance, I was never really someone who cared much about appearance before 'it' started! I don't need to be panicked into going to the gym or shaving my head, because I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. My response to anyone who thinks 'thinning hair, yuck, shave it off!' is simple; could you be bothered to cut your hair three times every single week for the rest of your life, just to please others?

The best thing about my new philosophy is there's no chance of relapse. I'm not one of those fools who thinks anyone can look good bald. They're setting themselves up for a fall sometime in the future when they have doubts about their theory. On the other hand, I've learned to be ugly and to not allow it to prevent me being successful. I have no cherished thoughts that are easy to undermine, I am now bullet proof.

Best of all, I also have optimism. I expect to be balding for five more years. Then one of the research companies, such as Histogen which recently raised double the capital they were looking for in their Series A issue which closed this week, will bring out the cure. I'll go from unsightly and bald to just ugly and hairy. And if I focus the next five years on study, then my future is very bright.

I'll be a qualified lawyer with a full head of hair! Or, if Histogen let me down, at least as a British lawyer I'm expected to wear a wig at work!!!!

[Fixed by 35]

So, when your hair gets worse and worse...this can be incredibly annoying and life changing. You have to change who you are. The image you want of yourself dies and you become someone you don't want to be.

This raises an interesting point about why baldness is depressing, especially at a young age. For those of us who started losing hair at the beginning of our 20s, or even earlier, it's worth bearing in mind it happened just as we were 'setting out in the world.'

For all our friends, I would assume, everything was on the up. Education, careers, independence. For us, though, this was all tainted with baldness. So, remember, even when we get over it later, we still had a tainted youth spent worrying about the sort of thing that a 50 year old should be worrying about.

But why, some people may ask, is baldness so bad. Well, think about it. Baldness is a sign of aging and aging is a sign of death. It's a bit depressing when the first signs of death appear before you've even left school! I'm not sure if there are any comparisons, but I guess as it's an appearance thing it might be worth asking how someone would like to start dressing like their father when they reach 20.

So, baldness is a decline at the starting line. We're like the racehorses who back out at the starting gate!

I think the other fear is perception. It's all very well saying baldness is no big deal, but I think subsconciously it is for a lot of people. I think a lot of people fear those who shave their heads and do not get a positive first impression when they meet them; that's not helpful at a job interview. All we want to do is conform, but instead we have a look that is intimidating. No one wants to intimidate others in a way that they cannot control.

[jooder]

It really is sad to watch 'fixedby35' decline into mental illness....

''The interaction with others is also far more simple than people sometimes like to suggest. It can be summed up in one line. Mature people don't consciously care about your hair loss, but sub-consciously they do. (I guess that's why so many women post that bald is sexy on the internet, then go out with a man with hair)''

Maybe women post that bald is sexy because they actually like it. Full stop.

[Fixed by 35]

Oh you are so naive.

Look, I'm in a happy place right now, but unlike you I can't be knocked off my perch, because I have both accepted baldness and ugliness and learned of a way to live with it. Until you reconcile the fact that you're bald and ugly, there's always a risk for you to relapse.

I've learned that my appearance is inconsequential which allows me to be a realist and an optimist at the same time.