29, virgin, weighing hair options

[Weedwacker]

Richard, you have all my sympathy. Life, at times, is very unfair. I too began thinning very young - at the age of 17. It was a nightmare and has affected my life--especially when I was younger. Like you, I was completely bald by 21. This is not supposed to happen to us when we are young. That is why youth is called 'being young.'

I am surprised that you have had trouble in East Asia with regard to dating. I am sorry to hear that. I was under the impression that Asian women were not quite as superficial as Western women.

You could try a hairpiece. I used to wear one. A full one is either glued or taped to your head; however, with your skin condition, your head might get a little irritated from that. Perhaps tape would work. There are probably concealers (like the ones women use) that would help to hide your birth mark.

The Edge, from U2, starting losing his hair very young; he was, as far as I could see, in his early 20s. It appears to bother him because I have almost never seen him without a bandana or hat on. He found a way to style his way around it. If I'm not mistaken, I think I even saw a picture of him at his wedding a few years back, and he was wearing a hat!

I wish you well.

[RichardR]

I was confused when I was 16 and my hair started looking "mangy". By the time I was 18 I noticed the huge red patch of bare skin on the back of my head and asked a doctor about it. Never in a million years would I have thought that people my age go bald, so I assumed something was wrong. Anyway, by 20 I was Costanza level. There wasn't even any hair between my receding hairline and my crown bald patch.

So since then I've been cropping and shaving my head, but my head has an odd shape and I always disliked this. Also, I've never been able to get rid of the obvious stubble on the back of my head, so even shaving I could never hide it. These days I combine shaving with a hat, trying to avoid taking my hat off in brightly lit places. Oh, and I have psoriasis on my head and body as well as a huge red birthmark on the back of my head.

I always wanted to be a translator, and I've lived in an East Asian country since I finished school six or so years ago. I thought a bonus to this would be increased romantic prospects due to being white, but I've been shot down about 40 times here so far.

Even with a hat I tended to get stood up on blind dates, so I started sending more honest photos, which resulted in less being stood up, but when the issue of my hair became clear the relationships always seemed to trail off. Or sometimes they'd just pretend to go to the bathroom and jet right there.

So here I am, my 20s all but evaporated. I guess it's hard to accept someone like me to a girl in her 20s, but I hope maybe going forward I might have some luck.

I've been planning and saving for a trip to the US later this year, and while I'm there I was thinking about doing something about my head.

My first idea was a full wig to wear over my trimmed head.

Then I hit on these stubble tattoo places and got pretty damned excited, but during my research I found this site which kidna turned me off to the idea. The big places that do it seem to have no love on this site and this scared me from the idea.

So now I'm weighing my options...

I did a bit of searching on full wigs as opposed to hairpieces, but I didn't find too much info. Is this route considered a bad idea? Maybe buying two or three of the same moderately priced wig and then wearing a hat over it is something I'd considered, but I don't like the idea of a hairpiece, and some expensive "hair system" would require maintenance (the ones I've found locally cost annually something like my entire salary, so they're out).

So I guess I'm down to figuring out where to go for an affordable wig or finding some mascara-like product to fake stubble and then buying a suitcase full of it. Any feedback or advice on these two options or general ideas on others would be appreciated!