29, virgin, weighing hair options

[VictimOfDHT]

Thanks Andy for the advise however, you probably know it's easier said than done. If mind control were so easy they'd be no need for psychologists, drugs and all kind of therapies.. The fact is it isn't easy to do that at all unless you have it in you. Some people are plain ugly but they have so much confidence in themselves that they don't give a **** about nobody. Those people are LUCKY to have that in them. On the other hand, there are people who are very good looking or attractive but they have ZERO confidence in themselves.... So, it's all in your mind and unfortunately, the mind is one very very tough nut to crack. What people DON'T want to realize is that it ISN'T a switch that you can turn on and off whenever you like. NO. It ISN'T that simple, otherwise there will be NO mentally tortured people. There will be no mental disorders, self-confidence issues, esteem problems....at all.

And even with all kind of help (psychologists, therapies, drugs...) many people still continue to suffer from the same problems even after years of treatment. It just proves that for most of us, we ARE what we ARE and no matter how much we do to try and change ourselves (minds) we can never do it. I always tell people your mind is just like any other physical part of your body that you are given whether you like it or not. You can't change the color of your skin, eyes, hair...You can't change your height, your natural talents, your genes...

But again andy, like I said, this isn't about women or whatever. Obviously, there are millions and millions of women who are with bald men. That's no secret. This is something that we want for ourselves. We don't want to look disfigured by this curse. As long as there are mirrors around, we could never live with this shit called "baldness".

[aannddyy]

Lets be honest, no one really ever wants to go bald. Ive been half way there since i was like 16 but I never let it own me, people make jokes and laugh at me about it, I have even been called Benjamin button before, obviously that was an extremely hilarious joke for everyone (other than me) involved.
The thing is if you have alot of self confidence, regardless of how you look, girls will be interested in you.
I am pretty impressed that so many guys think its really hard to get a girl to have sex with you but the big truth is its not, BUT! if that is your only aim when you meet them they will just think your seedy (sometimes i enjoy this) they wont be keen on you at all.
Out of all of my best mates I am the only one who is half way bald and I have had sex the most times out of all of us, one of them who has lots of hair and is rich still hasn't managed to have sex with any girls despite my attempts at helping him.
My best advice for anyone else in my shoes, laugh at yourself if everyone else is ( they are just trying to get a reaction from you, if they don't they will stop) when your out in public pump out your chest make sure you put at least a little effort on your face like shaving and teeth or whatever. Focus on the good aspects about yourself not the bad ones, if you do everyone else will eventually get the vibe too. You don't need to be honestly confident either, act if you need to, once you notice the girls checking you out you wont need to act anymore.
Not so long ago a girl who I made out with, requiring no effort at all went home with all her mates and told them all I looked like a seedy old man but she liked me because I was confident about myself. Don't let what anyone else says about you affect your confidence because I CAN tell you with ALL of my confidence that there will be another person in their place that thinks the exact opposite thing.
The worst thing you can do is hide yourself from everyone else, if you sit inside all day and never go out thats why your alone, not your hair. If someone with lots of hair did that they would be in the exact same boat as you.

[VictimOfDHT]

Yeah I understand you guys wanting to look attractive -to women- and all. It's natural but if you think about it, we want to attract women, get to know them, be with them -in relationships- then regret the day we met them. That's the case with most men. So, don't feel sad for being a single guy. Married guys envy us, believe me. But yeah, we want our hair for OURSELVES and not for women. I want to keep my hair even if I was going to live on an island in the middle of the ocean. I want my hair even if I was going to be a buddhist monk.

[Sogeking]

Women. Our downfall.
Just kidding. How we look is important to us, but still money always helps.

@RichardR
I too have not had any luck with women, but hair had nothing to do with it. Now that I started losing it it makes things worse. But still who knows what future holds. Also I hope that we will get our hair back.
As for the Asian women turning you down. I've read somewhere that Asians consider balding men unlucky or something as such. In the past they've considered bald men cursed by gods. That is beacuse there is much lower percentage of balding men in Asians. I do apologize if I am wrong. But today we know that being bald is nothing to be ashamed off the only thing it does is affect your appearance and mental state. Meaning: it sucks but others won't think less of you unless you let 'em. It might "only" (not trying to demean this problem on the contrary) affect your chances with women in a sexual manner.

[Havok]

Hair loss does, usually, make a guy look much older. When a guy is young, it is hard because people his age may think he is much older than he actually is. Does a 24 year old woman want to date a 24 year old guy who looks like he is 45? I doubt it. I had to deal with this exact situation when I was ****ing 17!

i wish it only made the person look much older. in most cases it makes the person look hideous.

[RichardR]

Hm... I guess I could get a wig and wear a skullcap over it or something.

That might look young and maybe that would hide the fakeness of the kind of wig I'd be able to afford. Baseball caps make me feel like some kind of shady character too.

Although honestly if the tattoo things were as great as the providers made them look, I'd throw all my savings at it without a second thought. I just cant stand this damn 5 o'clock shadow on my head no matter how close I try to shave.

[Weedwacker]

I agree that hair loss does affect how people see us. It is a bigger deal than people think because it does change our appearance dramatically. Hair loss does, usually, make a guy look much older. When a guy is young, it is hard because people his age may think he is much older than he actually is. Does a 24 year old woman want to date a 24 year old guy who looks like he is 45? I doubt it. I had to deal with this exact situation when I was ****ing 17!

The real issue is what hair loss does to us, individually. I would hate baldness even if I was the only person on the planet. I have been dealing with this for 17 years. It gets easier with age--but I still dislike it. People who have not gone through it do not understand.

I am very lucky in that I have a well-shaped head and have the features to pull off the 'bald' look pretty well. It could be a lot worse. Having said that, I would like to have hair again someday.

[VictimOfDHT]

Spectrum, I don't have anything to do with women either. I'm not bad looking and when I was younger I used to get approached by nice looking women but I still didn't want to have any relationship with any woman and didn't bother to associate with them. Still, I know it's something I'd like to have a choice in- meaning I want it to be my own choice not to be around women and NOT have it forced on me like when we start losing our hair and we start feeling less confident about our looks and even convince ourselves we have no chance with women as we've lost our looks.

But like I said, I want to keep my hair for me and no one else. Having hair isn't just about attracting women. I think hair is as important as any other part of our bodies. To me, losing your hair isn't any different from losing other parts of your body. Some times it's even worse. Some people lose a hand or a leg and still go on with their lives almost like normal. However, some people have their whole lives destroyed because of their hair loss problem and have completely lost all interests in life. This has happened to me, and I'm not even bald yet. The psychological effects of hair loss are very far reaching. I've literally been a prisoner of my hair loss problem and the fear that I might be completely bald one day as it progresses slowly.

Weedwacker, the truth is that we might exaggerate the effects of hair loss in OUR MINDS but that doesn't mean that hair loss does not affect the way others see us and deal with us. It's been proven that people with good looks (and beautiful hair) are treated differently -more favorably- than others. But again, what matters is how I think of myself, and the simple fact is that for most of us hair loss sufferers hair loss DOES **** up our self esteem and confidence, which WILL reflect on just about every aspect of our lives.

[Weedwacker]

I think the point is that hair loss does affect our confidence - but I think this is mainly personal, and not based on the opinions of others. Hair loss is more of an individual, private problem than anything else. In other words, it matters more to us than anyone else. Hair is a part of us; therefore, it has a major effect on our appearance.

The best way to deal with hair loss is just realize that life is not fair, and move on. There's really nothing else to say or do at this point.

[spectrum]

Everybody wants to have hair on his head ...

VictimOfDHT, I actually no longer try to persuade any women (I have no chance at all) and I know if I had a head, full of hair, I couldn't even think of attracting any woman because of many reason including where I 'm living and how weak I 'm grown up. Having hair, it's confidence. It leads you to talk with confidence, It is very true at least for me. By the way, money is a point to start up every thing.

As I already noted the most important thing for me is to breath in and to breath out. That's all.

[VictimOfDHT]

So, what if someone doesn't have the looks and doesn't have money either ?? You guys talk as if every unattractive person has an option of becoming rich instead to attract women. Well, unfortunately that's not the case. It's not like you have a choice -looks or riches.

But why do you people assume that we only care about our hair to attract women ? I don't give a damn about women. I just want to keep my hair....FOR ME.

[spectrum]

Sorry to hear about situation...

I understand what you have experienced, I even cant believe you are still virgin but I hope you get someone as soon as possible, a real hot chick. But on the other hand, believe me, many of hot chicks (not all of them) only think about money and just money! They see your car, your expensive suit and your big gold necklace! Money is the most important part to start! I cant forget when I tried to kill my self twice because of loneliness, I was too ugly even when I had some hair on my head, I had numerous big black spots of my face and getting bald made my face even uglier. by the way, i had to start wearing big thick glasses when I was only 12, and after years it's getting even thicker and bigger! I am not a tall man, in better words I am shorter than the other guys. I am going to be a completely bald geek within this decade.

But most of all, I really love to inhale and exhale. That's the point in my life.

[VictimOfDHT]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I know sorry won't do nothing but I don't know what else to say. I know nothing I will say can take your pain and suffering away. Life is ****ing cruel. Very very cruel.
What's the purpose of all of this ?? Why do we have to suffer like this ?? Many of us people with hair loss problems aren't asking for much. Many of us would be happy just getting our hair back and nothing else. I can't help but wonder why. Why does there have to be such a thing as "baldness" ? Is there really a purpose, I mean beside making as many men as miserable as can be ?

But which is more cruel, life or those who bring us into it ?

I don't know what else to say man but I feel your pain as I live in my own pain because of this curse.

[RichardR]

Thanks for the information.

lol that's kinda racist don't you think. didn't know being white was an asset :P
being an east asian myself i can tell you an easy way to attract east asian girls ..it's $$

I don't think it's racist at all. Especially in Japan where I've lived all my adult life foreign men tend to be popular/fashionable and white men especially tend to have much better prospects than they did back home. A well-observed phenomenon relating to ethnicity, but not racist. If anything painting an ethnicity as gold-digging is more racist.

[Havok]

I always wanted to be a translator, and I've lived in an East Asian country since I finished school six or so years ago. I thought a bonus to this would be increased romantic prospects due to being white, but I've been shot down about 40 times here so far.

lol that's kinda racist don't you think. didn't know being white was an asset :P
being an east asian myself i can tell you an easy way to attract east asian girls ..it's $$

BTW east asian girls are VERY superficial. you'll have to look far and wide to find a young girl without a nose job or some sort of minor plastic surgery on their face. that's why they all look alike.

anyways not all girls are like that so all i can say is keep searching for someone that is right for you. if you feel you lack in the look department then try to improve other aspects of yourself. small things can add up and people will take notice.

there are some promising treatments that are being developed/tested so that's something to look forward to. if you shave your head then going the micro pigmentation route may be a good idea. i've seen few pictures with great results.