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  1. #1
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    Default I can't imagine ever being happy again

    I can't take it. I've been thinning since I was 18. Only an incredibly thick mop of hair in the first place has meant I've lasted this long. It starts off-ok my hair doesn't style as good, then ok I look a little worse than I used to but I can handle it, then you start catching the odd angle here and there that you don't like but you can hide it with hairstyles, then the times you don't like what you see in the mirror become more and more frequent, then they start to take over, and its only at exactly the right length, with exactly the right hairstyle, in the exact right conditions, ie no rain no wind no sweating. Now at 26 I've reached the point I've dreaded for so long. Every time I see myself I want to ****ing smash my skull off the mirror. I want to keep smashing it until I am just ****ing dead. I can be going about my day perfectly happy and a trip to the bathroom and a glance in the mirror makes me instantly not give a **** about anything. I went on holiday and my friends have put me in charge of collating all our photos. Every time I try I literally end up in a depression that lasts days or even weeks. I cannot stand the sight of myself. Especially next to them. They've all grown into themselves as we've gotten older. They all still feel 'young'. I'm 26 and I could pass as 40. But worse than that is the unavoidable slide down pecking order of respect. Yes all the jokes are just banter, and they would deny it if I said this to them, but its subtle. People react to you differently. They think they're better than you. My view of young bald people was the same even when I was 16. They were sad cases to be pitied but it would never be me.

    If I suited being bald I wouldn't mind. I don't. At all. I had really thick hair and it kept everything in proportion. I have a big head and big features, and with big hair, I was actually quite good looking. Now I'm closer to being ugly. I tried propecia for a couple of years. It slowed it down, but didn't stop it altogether, gave me weak erections, and cost a lot. So its not a sustainable option. And the results aren't even worth it for me.

    The worst is knowing that I shouldn't feel bad about this. People get cancer, they have accidents, they lose loved ones. But I don't know how to shake the feeling that I'll just be passing time through life. Just finding a way to live in a socially acceptable enough manner until I die. Maybe killing myself if god forbid my parents weren't around. I couldn't do that to them. But I hate this body I'm in and its only going to get worse. My Dad and Uncle had lost nearly all their hair by the time they were 30.

    Ye so **** this. Sorry for the language. I have so much anger and there's nowhere for it to go. I often have to restrain myself from picking up a golf club and smashing everything in sight. I can talk myself out of it for a few days. Focus on the good things in life. Try and change my thoughts. But I can't change that feeling that floors me again when I see myself in the mirror. If I never had to look at myself again I might be ok. But mostly I feel like I'm just going to spend my whole life one step above killing myself.

  2. #2
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    Nov 2012
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    I'm in the same situation as you. I'm turning 25 soon. I thought I would be able to take it but it's really starting to get to me.

    I don't think it's fair to call someone ugly if they take care of themselves (dress nicely, haircut, fit, etc), but having a receded hairline is ugliness in plain sight.

    I shave my head everyday and I am getting f***ing sick of it. Always worrying about cutting myself.

    I never wanted to hide behind hats but recently I've become ashamed of having my head out in public. You can still easily see a receded hairline and it REALLY makes me look ugly as f***.

    How unlucky do you have to be to go bald in your twenties? I know other people have it worse with health problems but it's like we're allowed to enjoy life but at the very minimum.

    We've been placed on the sidelines by society. I know we can make the most of the hand we're dealt but that is ****ING hard as hell, where do you get that kind of energy and motivation from when baldness has already depleted that.

    and I can relate a lot when you say one look in the mirror makes you not want to do anything. When I see myself looking ugly, I INSTANTLY become depressed. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to THINK at all. I don't want to be in public, I don't want to be driving on the road. I lose all hope for my future and then I start thinking of not existing anymore.

    I'm just hoping for a cure in the future while I work on other things like being fit, etc. I think that's all we can do.

  3. #3
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    Jun 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by recedoroy View Post
    I can't take it. I've been thinning since I was 18. Only an incredibly thick mop of hair in the first place has meant I've lasted this long. It starts off-ok my hair doesn't style as good, then ok I look a little worse than I used to but I can handle it, then you start catching the odd angle here and there that you don't like but you can hide it with hairstyles, then the times you don't like what you see in the mirror become more and more frequent, then they start to take over, and its only at exactly the right length, with exactly the right hairstyle, in the exact right conditions, ie no rain no wind no sweating. Now at 26 I've reached the point I've dreaded for so long. Every time I see myself I want to ****ing smash my skull off the mirror. I want to keep smashing it until I am just ****ing dead. I can be going about my day perfectly happy and a trip to the bathroom and a glance in the mirror makes me instantly not give a **** about anything. I went on holiday and my friends have put me in charge of collating all our photos. Every time I try I literally end up in a depression that lasts days or even weeks. I cannot stand the sight of myself. Especially next to them. They've all grown into themselves as we've gotten older. They all still feel 'young'. I'm 26 and I could pass as 40. But worse than that is the unavoidable slide down pecking order of respect. Yes all the jokes are just banter, and they would deny it if I said this to them, but its subtle. People react to you differently. They think they're better than you. My view of young bald people was the same even when I was 16. They were sad cases to be pitied but it would never be me.

    If I suited being bald I wouldn't mind. I don't. At all. I had really thick hair and it kept everything in proportion. I have a big head and big features, and with big hair, I was actually quite good looking. Now I'm closer to being ugly. I tried propecia for a couple of years. It slowed it down, but didn't stop it altogether, gave me weak erections, and cost a lot. So its not a sustainable option. And the results aren't even worth it for me.

    The worst is knowing that I shouldn't feel bad about this. People get cancer, they have accidents, they lose loved ones. But I don't know how to shake the feeling that I'll just be passing time through life. Just finding a way to live in a socially acceptable enough manner until I die. Maybe killing myself if god forbid my parents weren't around. I couldn't do that to them. But I hate this body I'm in and its only going to get worse. My Dad and Uncle had lost nearly all their hair by the time they were 30.

    Ye so **** this. Sorry for the language. I have so much anger and there's nowhere for it to go. I often have to restrain myself from picking up a golf club and smashing everything in sight. I can talk myself out of it for a few days. Focus on the good things in life. Try and change my thoughts. But I can't change that feeling that floors me again when I see myself in the mirror. If I never had to look at myself again I might be ok. But mostly I feel like I'm just going to spend my whole life one step above killing myself.
    This really touched home for me. I am 33 and I am having the same feelings as you man. Most of my friends are balding or already bald and for me this is just f*cking torture. I have lost most of my hair in the last year and a half mostly due to a hair transplant that caused horrible TE. No one understands. It was my mistake. Every day I see people in wheel chairs, people with horrible conditions or diseases and I HATE feeling like this about something that I perpetuated and something that is just part of my genetics. I am sorry dude. Most of us on this site are on here because we feel the same way you do. I have always been a handsome dude and girls have always pursued me. When I look in the mirror I want to f*cking break it. Tonight my girlfriend said to me, "I think you should just shave your head". I asked her, "why do you say that? Is it because you think my hair looks like shit or because you know how much hair loss is effecting me?". She kept saying, "Because I just want you to be happy" blah blah then staring directly at my hair sprayed shiney f*cking hair that has been combed in a certain way to cover my balding spots. It seems that every day it just gets worst. I am sorry man. This is horrible and what's worst is that most people don't even understand.

  4. #4
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    Im in a similar spot! But im 19, right now none of my friends have started balding, not close. I dont know people near my age that are balding. I know its hard, and sometime i try to tell myself that when i will be older i will realized it was just hair and that i was over reacting, but no...im young and i dont wanma wait till im 40 to not give a **** about my hair, i want to enjoy this years as a normal young person. i may be a NW2 or 3, im taking propecia and hope at least keep it that way, but if not i will focus on other things, im pretty fit, and am planning to cpntinue growinc muscle, y can grow a beard and honestly i know that i will have a great income since i start working as i will get my father business, and tjos are the things that will keep me from making my hair secondary! Try to get ripped in the gym, and enjoy life! Travel and get to know people! Thats the best thing we can do! try no stress so much about!

  5. #5
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    You´re not alone man, I feel exactly like you. I am 30 years old and NW6, and it has totally crushed me as a person. I am constantly working on methods to try to handle the depression and anxiety that comes with hairloss, but damn its so hard. Its not easy to lose ones youth so early in life. I feel robbed of my youth.

  6. #6
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    This thread rings so true for me right now. I used to think that the bald-unattractive thing was completely blown out of proportion until this happened to me:

    Me and my girlfriend were on holiday together in Sri Lanka staying in an amazing hotel by the beach. We befriended another nice couple, became familiar and ate together, played cards and drank.

    Over a few drinks the subject of bullying in school came up. My gf was bullied at school over her looks (absolutely nothing wrong with her looks at all ) by the boys in her year who were all Rich without a care in the world. I know it upset her which is why I always emphasised how nice looking she was.

    Years later she was at a party with the people she used to go to school with. She explained One of the guys who used to bully her had gone fully bald. she laughed out loud as she said it - the point being " look whose ugly now " at that point she looked at me in horror when she realised what she had said ( I'm NW3 )

    I brought it up in the hotel room afterwards. It was so depressing for myself especially after all the time and energy I had spent helping her self esteem. And look whose got low self esteem now.

    We broke up a few weeks ago. Lots of factors involved but my hair loss and the negativity it causes are party to blame

  7. #7
    Senior Member Notcoolanymore's Avatar
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    Wish I could tell you it will get better(easier to deal with) with age, but there are no guarantees that it will. I am in my late 30's and still deal with the same up's and downs. I started losing my hair in my early 20's and haven't liked the way I looked since then. Some days I will look in the mirror and think: "I don't look that bad" and be able to go on about my day. Other days I will look in the mirror and think: "I look like shit" and just walk around upset/depressed for the rest of the day. It's sad that before hair loss I used to think I looked good, now "Not too bad" is pretty much as good as it gets.

  8. #8
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    My wife is 21 and I'm 26. She doesn't give a shit about my hair loss.

    Too many people worry no girls will want them due to hairloss and becoming depressed.

    Look at how many bald men are married.

    You don't need hair or money to land a decent girl.

    Many girls will turn down a bald man, but shallow whores don't make good wives.

    The best thing you can do to attract a girl, or friends for that matter... Be an interesting person. Have things to say. Have skills, build character.

    I started losing my hair at 20 and I've never had any issues with women. Sure some girls rejected me, and that happens to literally everyone.

    At the end of the day I'm a 26 year old NW 2.5 with a 21 year old wife who's an objective 8-9. I make 40k a year which isn't impressive and I have an average build.

    Hair loss sucks I get it, but it doesn't automatically remove you from attaining true happiness.

    I sincerely hope you learn to love yourself and be happy.

    Best of luck.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by faman View Post
    Im in a similar spot! But im 19, right now none of my friends have started balding, not close. I dont know people near my age that are balding.
    It is not common but it can happen. For me hair loss started at 15-16. There was no visible baldness though until some years later. It was an aggressive form of diffuse hair loss, leading quickly to terminal NW7 stage in my late 20's. Not funny I can assure you. In fact, I have no idea how it feels to have a head with full hair thickness as a young man, in the start of adulthood (17-19 years old). This is rare even in a forum like this.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaldingEagle View Post
    My wife is 21 and I'm 26. She doesn't give a shit about my hair loss.
    ...
    At the end of the day I'm a 26 year old NW 2.5 with a 21 year old wife who's an objective 8-9.
    I don't want to be rude or anything, but from my personal perspective (see my previous message), being NW2.5 at 26 and talking about the consequences of hair loss in your life seems more like a joke than anything else. All you have is simply a little more than a mature hairline, which is not unusual in this age.

    However you don't mention the general situation of you hair. Except the receding hairline, do you have enough thickness or do you lose hair in a diffuse pattern? This can make a huge difference when you are still in the low NW stages. With a good thickness, NW2.5 is really minor in your age for all practical purposes.

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