? for any women out there-What does it mean when I girl says this?

[mpb47]

Don't analyze her comments, analyze her actions. She just wasn't that into you, and so she made up some reasons to rationalize it to you. I doubt that those were the real reasons she didn't like you. She probably just didn't feel any chemistry, which isn't your fault. Try not to agonize over it.

That certainly could have been part of it, but I really don't think that is all of it. I really think I stuck my foot in my mouth so to speak. I just realized something else I said. When it comes to things like politics, I don't normally have a strong opinion. But in my field I say what is on my mind. I am not as bad about this as I was say 10 years ago, but still. Anyway somehow the subject of a certain company that makes products in our field came up. They have a reputation of selling overpriced, under performing products. Turns out some of her "degrees" came from this company. Thing is, this would have come up sooner or later and I wouldn't have been able to lie if asked as this company has caused us plenty of trouble at work. Now I would not have cared one bit that she got some of her "degrees" from them, but it wouldn't change how I felt about the company. She may have been sensitive about this..don't know, but I am sure it didn't help me. But I am not going to be in a relationship where I am always going to be walking on a tight rope ether.

[Proper]

Oh god this is so funny. You know you're an ugly twat BD, stop trying to convince yourself othetwise

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ****ING +1.

Anyways, if a girl avoids, its easy, she just wasn't into you and is coming up with an excuse as to why. People don't full out say they don't want to be with you cause of the way you look. That may be the case here because she says on paper, you guys match, which means you weren't exactly what she had in mind when she met you. I'm not saying you are ugly, I'm just saying women are picky bitches. And also, if shes doing the online thing, she must've had a whole lotta other people she was talking to at the same time she was talking to you and maybe found a better option in her opinion.

I had a friend that became a slut after high school and when we use to hang out that during in social events, she was always with a different guy every week or two and she'd tell everyone that they were just friends but I know where shes meeting those guys and how. We all talked about her behind her back which was the funny part and we made fun of her a couple times about it which is why she doesn't hang out with us anymore but whatever, bitch got what had to be said.

In all honesty, just don't think about it and give her the **** off, just another bitch. Don't be one of those guys where their girls want to take a snapshot together at a restaurant or some shit. I see that all the time and I can't help but laugh to myself at how ***** the guy is to let his girlfriend tell him what to do unless of course he wanted to in the first place then sure why not.

[mpb47]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ****ING +1.

Anyways, if a girl avoids, its easy, she just wasn't into you and is coming up with an excuse as to why. People don't full out say they don't want to be with you cause of the way you look. That may be the case here because she says on paper, you guys match, which means you weren't exactly what she had in mind when she met you. I'm not saying you are ugly, I'm just saying women are picky bitches. And also, if shes doing the online thing, she must've had a whole lotta other people she was talking to at the same time she was talking to you and maybe found a better option in her opinion.

Who knows that may have been it , though I really think if it could have been that and the other things I mentioned. It took her months to finally say she was not interested and when she did, she said more than once that a friend of her would be a good match, but never provided any details so I really don't know what she was really thinking.

In all honesty, just don't think about it and give her the **** off, just another bitch. Don't be one of those guys where their girls want to take a snapshot together at a restaurant or some shit. I see that all the time and I can't help but laugh to myself at how ***** the guy is to let his girlfriend tell him what to do unless of course he wanted to in the first place then sure why not.

The funny thing is I would forget about her and then she would reappear
for a week or so, then disappear again. This kept happening every few months. Oh don't worry, I knew better than to get involved at that point as she was too flakey. I just always wanted to know why she wasn't into me. She is really smart but kinda nuts too as her last husband left her. She told his name once and a mutual friend told me he was on local tv from time to time. Well not too long ago I finally saw him and he kinda looked like an older version of me so that could have been it as well. I don't know if she intended it to come out this way, but her updated profile comes off as arrogant. As in don't bother me unless you are smart. Knowing that I would have loved to challenge her to a game of "chess".

But I have to keep looking but so far I have only found a few that interest me. And like I said earlier they were honest enough to say techs were not their type. When I reject someone online , I normally do not want to hurt their feelings so I tell a white lie that I am trying to date someone else-which was actually true at one point. But if they ever pushed for more details, I would be honest and tell them since I am that way myself. So far none has pushed further..

[Proper]

This might sound immature but did you get it in? If so, you've already won. Anyways, I understand how you feel. I re read the whole thread and from what I got is that you haven't liked anyone like her in a long time which is why you may forget about her for a time being and then start thinking about her again. It feels very life consuming because its not something you can control. Its one of those things left unsaid but then it kinda eats away at someone because there must have been some sort of reason. Any justifiable reason.

At the same time, its what your mind wants to hear. If it hits the wrong reasons, you may believe that the real reason is yet to be told.

Shes a real haertbreaker that one, to leave it for months continually drifting. If she was drifting during those months, that could have been something. She was too scared to break the relationship but stayed just to see if her feelings or whatever she was thinking changed. But in the end, she didn't find what she was looking for.

I am the type to get even so when that happened to me in my younger years, I'd feel the need to do soemthing like slash tires or get at someone she knows but after countless relationships, I just now assume that there was nothing I could have done to salvage what was inevitable. At least thats what I tell myself so I don't go creating black eyes.

[mpb47]

This might sound immature but did you get it in? If so, you've already won. Anyways, I understand how you feel. I re read the whole thread and from what I got is that you haven't liked anyone like her in a long time which is why you may forget about her for a time being and then start thinking about her again. It feels very life consuming because its not something you can control. Its one of those things left unsaid but then it kinda eats away at someone because there must have been some sort of reason. Any justifiable reason.

Yea that's it in a nutshell. And to answer your ? , no never got that far.

At the same time, its what your mind wants to hear. If it hits the wrong reasons, you may believe that the real reason is yet to be told.

Well I really did want the real answer, no matter what it was. If it were my looks, well nothing I could do about that-end of story. If something I did I wanted to know so I would not repeat in the future.

Shes a real haertbreaker that one, to leave it for months continually drifting. If she was drifting during those months, that could have been something. She was too scared to break the relationship but stayed just to see if her feelings or whatever she was thinking changed. But in the end, she didn't find what she was looking for.

I made friend's with a remote girl on this one dating site. We would trade advise. She would ask me advise about how guys thought and vise versa. We could talk about anything and I mean anything. She asked me about what guys really think about boobs and I told her they were like hypnotizing drugs..that she should a little cleavage, but not too much. I gave her all the info on this girl that I had up till that point and asked what was going on. She said first the fact that she had literally just been divorced was a big no no and no way it would work till some time passed. That I was wasting my time. Secondly, along the lines of what several of you said, she did not think she was into me and just wanted a companion until something better came along. She predicted she would slowly disappear and that's pretty much what has happened. She told she had never done this, but seen some of her girlfriends do it to guys they kinda liked, but not loved.

I am the type to get even so when that happened to me in my younger years, I'd feel the need to do soemthing like slash tires or get at someone she knows but after countless relationships, I just now assume that there was nothing I could have done to salvage what was inevitable. At least thats what I tell myself so I don't go creating black eyes.

Well I never really believe in physical violence or anything like that- except against former bullies in high school And yes I head locked one of them and did give him a black eye and even that was to just get him to leave me alone.

Speaking of which, I am highly sensitive to arrogance because my parents made me go to a 90210 type of high school. It drives me more than money ever could and has been both a help and a hindrance. If I were to do anything , it would be to prove to her that you don't have to have certain degree to be smart. And I wouldn't do it to be mean per say, but rather to get her to change her attitude. I did not pick up on her attitude till I read her updated profile recently. Then I remembered when I first realized she was really smart and said so, she replied that she was the smartest person she knew among her friends. Well several of my friends have said that about me, but I certainly would not go around saying that about myself. Should have picked up on that but I didn't.

The girl at work I mentioned earlier in the thread is in Mensa, but she NEVER - to this day has told me this. I found out only because I picked up on her IQ and asked her supervisor.

[mpb47]

So what's wrong with being direct and to the point? If there is no attraction, no reason to continue to pursue. Regardless, of the reason, it taught me to be more reserved and not get my hopes up too soon

Think you know women? Well here is another one to figure out. A few weeks back I met (online only) a *potentially* interesting girl. We do have some geeky common interests and strike up a nice normal conversation about our mutual interests. After about a week or so I didn't hear from her till today. She apologized for being slow about responding saying she thought she had and then realized that she had not. Truth or Fiction? And does it matter?

[Aames]

So what's wrong with being direct and to the point? If there is no attraction, no reason to continue to pursue. Regardless, of the reason, it taught me to be more reserved and not get my hopes up too soon

Think you know women? Well here is another one to figure out. A few weeks back I met (online only) a *potentially* interesting girl. We do have some geeky common interests and strike up a nice normal conversation about our mutual interests. After about a week or so I didn't hear from her till today. She apologized for being slow about responding saying she thought she had and then realized that she had not. Truth or Fiction? And does it matter?

I know I am not answering your question (attaching meaning to a women's action would only be speculation, and probably incorrect speculation in my case) but I feel I must provide for you some context on online dating. Remember that on those sites, men DRASTICALLY outnumber women. Women receive hundreds of messages a day and have their pick of the litter. It is very hard to stand out and very easy to get lost in the see of responses no matter how attractive or interesting you are. Additionally, many women keep accounts there to validate themselves and receive attention that they do not receive in real life; they may not even be interested in dating anyone. If you don't believe me, make a female account and watch how many messages you get. It's a very interesting and eye-opening social experiment.

[Proper]

I know I am not answering your question (attaching meaning to a women's action would only be speculation, and probably incorrect speculation in my case) but I feel I must provide for you some context on online dating. Remember that on those sites, men DRASTICALLY outnumber women. Women receive hundreds of messages a day and have their pick of the litter. It is very hard to stand out and very easy to get lost in the see of responses no matter how attractive or interesting you are. Additionally, many women keep accounts there to validate themselves and receive attention that they do not receive in real life; they may not even be interested in dating anyone. If you don't believe me, make a female account and watch how many messages you get. It's a very interesting and eye-opening social experiment.

Lol I can vouch this. Me and smoe buddies made fake girls accounts before and trolled dudes. Its pretty fun atually especially if you find people you know.

[Shan]

Highlander, what do you know girls, you ****ing psycho. The closest you ever came to a women was your mum.

[Tracy C]

3) She later told me when we met, while a good fit on paper, there was nothing else there. What does this mean exactly?

She didn't feel the chemistry. She sounds like she probably is an academic snob. These folks have a more difficult time recognizing chemistry because they overthink everything.

It's not that "it's you" and it's not that "it's her". You are just not a good fit for each other. Move on and don't worry about it. You will know a good fit when it happens.

[Exodus]

I know he's screwed in the head and I hope you get back on the dating scene, but, this post is hilarious!

[BigThinker]

So what's wrong with being direct and to the point?

You exposed insecurities in a culture where men are expected to be strong, withstanding, and often uncaring -- especially early in the courting process.

Earlier you figure that out, the better.

[mpb47]

I know I am not answering your question (attaching meaning to a women's action would only be speculation, and probably incorrect speculation in my case) but I feel I must provide for you some context on online dating. Remember that on those sites, men DRASTICALLY outnumber women. Women receive hundreds of messages a day and have their pick of the litter. It is very hard to stand out and very easy to get lost in the see of responses no matter how attractive or interesting you are. Additionally, many women keep accounts there to validate themselves and receive attention that they do not receive in real life; they may not even be interested in dating anyone. If you don't believe me, make a female account and watch how many messages you get. It's a very interesting and eye-opening social experiment.

Oh yes I do believe you. When I first got on my first site, I asked for advice and that is one of the first things people said. And my female friend that was helping me said the same thing. And several people told me I was really lucky to meet someone so quickly..like 2 weeks after I joined is when she started contacting me. And yea I think you are right about the validation part, least when it comes to girl #1 as it doesn't make sense that a smart pretty girl is stlll at this very moment trying to find someone. The first site is still trying to match us up after all this time, kinda frustrating to see her every time I log on.

[mpb47]

Because that's not how human interaction works. It's more subtle than that. Let her actions tell you if she's attracted to you. Asking someone direct questions like that is incredibly confrontational and puts the woman in a really awkward position.

Well that is a problem for me as I have always had trouble reading girl's intentions. I will think they like me and they want nothing to do with me. I don't think they like me and later find out they got miffed because I didn't do anything. The girl I have mentioned in several mpb threads (she likes it) is a good example. We knew each other as kids. We found each other again in college. Spend hours in her car catching up. Have lots of classes together always in same group in fact she is the one who wanted to do a class group presentation on mpb meds but that is a story for another day. She tells me all kinds of personal stuff - like she thinks she is fat and is saving for lipo . She is not fat at all -just had nice normal boobs/figure. She invites me to her apartment, we have a good time catching up but after while I get the feeling she is uncomfortable so I figure she is not into me and leave it at that. Well fast forward a couple of years later I hear through the grapevine she was made that I never pursued her. So I guess I got tired of trying to be a mind reader ....

The main thing is to not be a beta male. Don't grovel to a woman and seek her acceptance. Be your own man and let her come to you. That's the difference between alpha and beta. And ultimately, women don't want a man they can boss around. It's in their blood to want to be dominated. Don't let any "empowered" woman tell you otherwise.

Well truth be told, I don't want to be an alpha nor a beta. Maybe this is weird but I have always thought relationships should be a 50-50 thing where no one controls the other. I know some women do not like this and that is ok as they are not for me.

I've never attractive a girl by doing shit like what you did. On the other hand literally doing what I want, being short with girls, not paying much attention to them, being who I am and so on have had me approached countless times. Now, this could be partly looks based, but the point is you want THEM to be attracted TO you.

Well some of what you say has worked for me in the past , strictly by accident. A couple of times I ignored the girl , not to be rude, but didn't think I had a chance so did not want to waste any effort. I think if I tried to do it intentionally , it wouldn't work

Cliffs: Don't fight for their attraction, instead make them want to be attracted to you for who you are.

Yea just wish it was that easy. I just wish people didn't have to play games to get things going. I am not that way, but it sure seems like that is how things work.

[mpb47]

She didn't feel the chemistry. She sounds like she probably is an academic snob. These folks have a more difficult time recognizing chemistry because they overthink everything.

It's not that "it's you" and it's not that "it's her". You are just not a good fit for each other. Move on and don't worry about it. You will know a good fit when it happens.

Yea you are probably right...just wish It wouldn't have taken her months to tell me this