Has anyone successfully beaten BDD?

[mature]

[QUOTE=Aames;125210]

Your posts are very enlightening, mature. Your choice of screen-name is incredibly appropriate. Could it be that my life is stagnating since I am trying to better myself out of hate and anger rather than self-love? I'm finding it incredibly hard to get over these feelings of bitterness and resentment for others for not accepting me for how I used to be. I feel that I must maximize my aesthetic potential to hurt them and prove them wrong. I feel that I must obtain this state before I can go out into the world and be truly happy. Perhaps I should look into therapy again but I find it so hard to open up in front of a live person. I more or less faked a recovery the last time I saw a therapist so I didn't have to see him any more. It's a lot easier for me to post my problems on the internet where I am a only a representation of my real self. What you are suggesting I do is CBT, is it not? Altering my thought patterns to be more positive?

Thanks lol, Well I am stating rather then alter perceptions or change you're opinions just drop the whole thing, look at the ways you crucify yourself and burden yourself with the negative cycles of thought you get caught in.. You do not need to alter it to positive thinking you just need to learn not to be swayed by the ego and let it control and dictate you.. Just observe the patterns and then see when you can just drop it, enter into simply being present without thinking more and more. You are just putting external expectations and limitations on yourself that really seem to be never ending, once one goal is done then another is placed indefinitely and you won't be happy till you do them all.. That means you would be stuck in a permanent cycle of cynical limited potential and a life of mental shackles and chains.. Just drop all of it instead, Just say you are perfect and fine here and now and understand that happiness is an inner job. Definitely talk to someone if you feel up to it, opening up and being vulnerable is the only true courage after all, its easy to close yourself and put up walls everyone does it, go in the opposite direction and overcome the insecurities once and for all.

[Aames]

[QUOTE=gldngamer;125228]

My outlook towards life is very similar to yours Aames. how are you doing now btw? i know what your going through, its depressing and it sucks. Just wanted to say that i've got a skype account now, i tried messaging you but for some reason its blocked or something. Sorry for littering your post and going off topic but i hope to contact you soon mate,take care.

Yeah, I think walls are disabled now. Check my profile for my skype name. Hope to talk soon.

[gldngamer]

[QUOTE=Aames;125210]

Your posts are very enlightening, mature. Your choice of screen-name is incredibly appropriate. Could it be that my life is stagnating since I am trying to better myself out of hate and anger rather than self-love? I'm finding it incredibly hard to get over these feelings of bitterness and resentment for others for not accepting me for how I used to be. I feel that I must maximize my aesthetic potential to hurt them and prove them wrong. I feel that I must obtain this state before I can go out into the world and be truly happy. Perhaps I should look into therapy again but I find it so hard to open up in front of a live person. I more or less faked a recovery the last time I saw a therapist so I didn't have to see him any more. It's a lot easier for me to post my problems on the internet where I am a only a representation of my real self. What you are suggesting I do is CBT, is it not? Altering my thought patterns to be more positive?

My outlook towards life is very similar to yours Aames. how are you doing now btw? i know what your going through, its depressing and it sucks. Just wanted to say that i've got a skype account now, i tried messaging you but for some reason its blocked or something. Sorry for littering your post and going off topic but i hope to contact you soon mate,take care.

[Aames]

[QUOTE=mature;124565]

Great post. I know in my case, it likely stems from my depression and my desire for revenge. I spent my high school years fat and got no attention from girls. Now, after realizing I had an attractive face underneath the fat, I'm trying to maximize my aesthetic potential to both help my confidence and to get back at those that rejected me or would have rejected me. It's sick but I can't help but feel this way. And I realize I am a hypocrite, I want to punish others for being superficial but yet I am probably more superficial than they are. I'll check out that book sometime now that it's summer. I want to continue my journey but I would like to be somewhat happy along the way.




You can be happy, always, regardless of outer circumstance the physical body included.. What you are stating about revenge and such look deeper into that.. Do you think anyone really cares about all of these antics? Can't you just let it go and focus on better and more important things? I will let you in on a lil secret nobody really cares that much about other people in the realm of judgement and criticism everyone is too focused on themselves anyways.. People might say an off comment to people here and there but its just a bunch of nonsense, it is way better to just be unreactive and not care about what others think.. You can improve yourself but do it for you, let a deeper more stable confidence shine through you, something tempered and forged through some adversity and to completely disregard external opinions or judgements.

You're depression sounds like it stems from self esteem issues as well, but that is all illusive as it is... Self Image is totally made up and doesn't exist the second you stop thinking it into life. Did you know that if people saw a clone of them selves walk by them they would not even recognize them? It is because our image of ourselves even when we look in a mirror is completely distorted to how it actually is in reality. You keep projecting being happy to future goals and bringing the sense of lack or anger onto you're looks when you should be focused on whats going on in the inside. You are a young person, you do not want to live the rest of you're life like this do you? It sounds to me like you are alive but not doing very much ACTUAL living, there is too much conflict, turmoil, and attachment to actually go out and enjoy yourself.


I will tell you here and now the exact thing that is going on and how to fix it.. You have a distorted view and opinion about yourself and the people around you, it is nothing to do with whats going on in you're "life" that is causing you suffering, You're suffering right now is caused by you're beliefs and illusions of whatever thoughts you are falling into and believing as perceived notion of reality. This is why I suggest you do some inner searching and find each and every way you are deceiving yourself to arrive at this state of inner strife and emotional conflict, through self inquiry and contemplation. I think talking to the right person would help you immensely, life is no fun living when all you are obsessing and thinking about is how to keep things perfect and controlled.

Maybe check out the movie Peaceful Warrior on Netflix too when you get the chance.


Depression and anxiety both arise from a belief or distortion of thinking and reality that starts in the head, once it happens and symptoms start up it can be a downward spiral from there until you learn exactly how you are causing yourself to get caught in the vicious cycle to drop it.

Your posts are very enlightening, mature. Your choice of screen-name is incredibly appropriate. Could it be that my life is stagnating since I am trying to better myself out of hate and anger rather than self-love? I'm finding it incredibly hard to get over these feelings of bitterness and resentment for others for not accepting me for how I used to be. I feel that I must maximize my aesthetic potential to hurt them and prove them wrong. I feel that I must obtain this state before I can go out into the world and be truly happy. Perhaps I should look into therapy again but I find it so hard to open up in front of a live person. I more or less faked a recovery the last time I saw a therapist so I didn't have to see him any more. It's a lot easier for me to post my problems on the internet where I am a only a representation of my real self. What you are suggesting I do is CBT, is it not? Altering my thought patterns to be more positive?

[drybone]

Common man, it shouldn't be so bad. Look at me, I started balding at 13 and was a NW6 when graduated from university. All my classmates had full heads of hair. Imagine what a freak I used to look like, bald at such a young age. It was really embarrassing for me, but life went on, and I did very well academically. When I was in my early 20s, people thought I was a 35 year old guy. You at least have hair!

Ok. This explains a lot.

[mature]

[QUOTE=Aames;124432]Great post. I know in my case, it likely stems from my depression and my desire for revenge. I spent my high school years fat and got no attention from girls. Now, after realizing I had an attractive face underneath the fat, I'm trying to maximize my aesthetic potential to both help my confidence and to get back at those that rejected me or would have rejected me. It's sick but I can't help but feel this way. And I realize I am a hypocrite, I want to punish others for being superficial but yet I am probably more superficial than they are. I'll check out that book sometime now that it's summer. I want to continue my journey but I would like to be somewhat happy along the way.




You can be happy, always, regardless of outer circumstance the physical body included.. What you are stating about revenge and such look deeper into that.. Do you think anyone really cares about all of these antics? Can't you just let it go and focus on better and more important things? I will let you in on a lil secret nobody really cares that much about other people in the realm of judgement and criticism everyone is too focused on themselves anyways.. People might say an off comment to people here and there but its just a bunch of nonsense, it is way better to just be unreactive and not care about what others think.. You can improve yourself but do it for you, let a deeper more stable confidence shine through you, something tempered and forged through some adversity and to completely disregard external opinions or judgements.

You're depression sounds like it stems from self esteem issues as well, but that is all illusive as it is... Self Image is totally made up and doesn't exist the second you stop thinking it into life. Did you know that if people saw a clone of them selves walk by them they would not even recognize them? It is because our image of ourselves even when we look in a mirror is completely distorted to how it actually is in reality. You keep projecting being happy to future goals and bringing the sense of lack or anger onto you're looks when you should be focused on whats going on in the inside. You are a young person, you do not want to live the rest of you're life like this do you? It sounds to me like you are alive but not doing very much ACTUAL living, there is too much conflict, turmoil, and attachment to actually go out and enjoy yourself.


I will tell you here and now the exact thing that is going on and how to fix it.. You have a distorted view and opinion about yourself and the people around you, it is nothing to do with whats going on in you're "life" that is causing you suffering, You're suffering right now is caused by you're beliefs and illusions of whatever thoughts you are falling into and believing as perceived notion of reality. This is why I suggest you do some inner searching and find each and every way you are deceiving yourself to arrive at this state of inner strife and emotional conflict, through self inquiry and contemplation. I think talking to the right person would help you immensely, life is no fun living when all you are obsessing and thinking about is how to keep things perfect and controlled.

Maybe check out the movie Peaceful Warrior on Netflix too when you get the chance.


Depression and anxiety both arise from a belief or distortion of thinking and reality that starts in the head, once it happens and symptoms start up it can be a downward spiral from there until you learn exactly how you are causing yourself to get caught in the vicious cycle to drop it.

[NotBelievingIt]

No, definitely not dude. Just that you're likely spending "too much" time looking at photos of guys striving for something that you may likely never have and are holding yourself to an ideal that is just not realistically attainable by most.

And a nekkid fem body is far more attractive as art then a guy, come on!! heh

[Aames]

Always I have learned that any root of obession or emotional conflict the content is NOT what is important, it is not the sense of hair loss that is distressing, or the way you look etc.. It is always something deeper such as fear of not being good enough, feeling inferior or be little d, comparative to others, self criticism etc...

People have a tendency to obsess over what is wrong or to wish they had something they don't, if it is not hair loss it could be something different.. Maybe you lost you're eye sight, a limb, etc.. Maybe a pyschological basis such as major depression or generalized anxiety disorder.

Let me tell you from personal experience, I had been under the illusive suffering of the worst ends of OCD, Generalized Anxiety, Severe hours lasting panic attacks, and De personalization... Literally went from hell to back again multiple times... There is a sort of appreciation and intimacy with life that people gain going through severe circumstance and coming out the other end... I had studied and became very well educated on the nature of things like anxiety and depression, then I applied everything I learned and failed and failed again... It was a very up and down process but I have since fully recovered and will not fall into the mental trap of stuff like that again because I understand it. BDD actually falls under the category of anxiety spectrum dysfunctions and is very curable.. The constant checking and obsessing you are mentioning are exactly what is keeping the cycle going, you don't need to change to another faulty self image or anything ridicolous like that you just need to see yourself as you really are, without the judgement and analyze of you're own mind..

My guess is there are some deeper emotional issues going on that are being manifested into this BDD you are experiencing, instead of pushing it away and getting in a vicious cycle look into it and see whats really going on and needs to be absolved.

Most importantly every type of suffering produced is caused from the central point of mind or ego, It is the ways we go against the strides of what is really true and our delusions that lead us to suffering, self judgement being one of those.. If you are interested check out a book from Adyashanti on google called Way of Liberation and read the E book.. May give you exactly what you need if you are willing to try and fully apply it and see what happens.

On another note no one should be that seriously concerned here about going bald permanently; true we are all at different stages of hair loss but by the looks of it in the next few years there will be a cure in the form of something so no need to fret.

Great post. I know in my case, it likely stems from my depression and my desire for revenge. I spent my high school years fat and got no attention from girls. Now, after realizing I had an attractive face underneath the fat, I'm trying to maximize my aesthetic potential to both help my confidence and to get back at those that rejected me or would have rejected me. It's sick but I can't help but feel this way. And I realize I am a hypocrite, I want to punish others for being superficial but yet I am probably more superficial than they are. I'll check out that book sometime now that it's summer. I want to continue my journey but I would like to be somewhat happy along the way.

Since you clearly go to bb.com - you probably spend an inordinate amount of time in the 'mirin section of the guys even if you won't admit it. NO HOMO right? That has to be the god damn stupidest ****ing idiotic phrase that only sexually insecure little boys say - its quite funny how the first time I saw it with any regularity was on bb.com though.

Anyway - Stop going to BB.com 'mirin. Right. Now.

Are you insinuating that I'm gay? Just because I appreciate a physique for its form and beauty doesn't mean I am sexually-attracted to it. Truthfully, I think the male form is superior to the female form as art (something to appreciate visually) but, again, I feel no attraction towards it. And yeah, that's a world that's steeped in a lot of homo-eroticism. People discovering it for the first time have to say "no homo" because, to an outsider, it really does seem like a bunch of homosexuals are parading around and complementing each other.

[NotBelievingIt]

Since you clearly go to bb.com - you probably spend an inordinate amount of time in the 'mirin section of the guys even if you won't admit it. NO HOMO right? That has to be the god damn stupidest ****ing idiotic phrase that only sexually insecure little boys say - its quite funny how the first time I saw it with any regularity was on bb.com though.

Anyway - Stop going to BB.com 'mirin. Right. Now.

[mature]

Always I have learned that any root of obession or emotional conflict the content is NOT what is important, it is not the sense of hair loss that is distressing, or the way you look etc.. It is always something deeper such as fear of not being good enough, feeling inferior or be little d, comparative to others, self criticism etc...

People have a tendency to obsess over what is wrong or to wish they had something they don't, if it is not hair loss it could be something different.. Maybe you lost you're eye sight, a limb, etc.. Maybe a pyschological basis such as major depression or generalized anxiety disorder.

Let me tell you from personal experience, I had been under the illusive suffering of the worst ends of OCD, Generalized Anxiety, Severe hours lasting panic attacks, and De personalization... Literally went from hell to back again multiple times... There is a sort of appreciation and intimacy with life that people gain going through severe circumstance and coming out the other end... I had studied and became very well educated on the nature of things like anxiety and depression, then I applied everything I learned and failed and failed again... It was a very up and down process but I have since fully recovered and will not fall into the mental trap of stuff like that again because I understand it. BDD actually falls under the category of anxiety spectrum dysfunctions and is very curable.. The constant checking and obsessing you are mentioning are exactly what is keeping the cycle going, you don't need to change to another faulty self image or anything ridicolous like that you just need to see yourself as you really are, without the judgement and analyze of you're own mind..

My guess is there are some deeper emotional issues going on that are being manifested into this BDD you are experiencing, instead of pushing it away and getting in a vicious cycle look into it and see whats really going on and needs to be absolved.

Most importantly every type of suffering produced is caused from the central point of mind or ego, It is the ways we go against the strides of what is really true and our delusions that lead us to suffering, self judgement being one of those.. If you are interested check out a book from Adyashanti on google called Way of Liberation and read the E book.. May give you exactly what you need if you are willing to try and fully apply it and see what happens.

On another note no one should be that seriously concerned here about going bald permanently; true we are all at different stages of hair loss but by the looks of it in the next few years there will be a cure in the form of something so no need to fret.

[Woodyy]

Sometimes I think I have BDD, there's always something I have to be concentrating on. Back in December - Feb, before my hairloss, I'd reached my goal physique, my hair was fine etc... Nothing major going on but I still found myself obsessing over these tiny little blackheads I had on my nose, I bought all sorts of creams, oils etc to get rid of them.

Now that im going through chit with my hair it's all I obsess about, I bet once I overcome this hairloss (and I'm doing everything to make sure I do) I'll find something else wrong with myself.

Vicious circle.

[PatientlyWaiting]

Sounds good.

[Aames]

If you get an HT with the hairline you have now [if the doctor even allows you to have one], I think you'd be a NW -7.

Seriously, you do not need an HT for the time being. If you can just keep what you have for years to come, you'll be good to go.

I hope so, friend. That is why I am treating it so aggressively. On a semi-related note, if Winston allows signatures; I want you and 25 to be co-leaders of the Duta crew with me.

[PatientlyWaiting]

I want to be a pharmacist so I plan to get a bachelor's degree in chemistry.

God man, yeah acne is ****ing terrible. Especially at my age, it just shouldn't be there. I want to go on Accutane so bad but I fear hair loss similar to what happened/is happening to Highlander. He plans to get a HT soon but I won't be able to afford one until I am out of school and I really do not want to have one if it is avoidable.

I'm also really afraid that I will never be happy. My biggest fear is achieving my goals but still being depressed. If that happens, I'll probably just kill myself. I wonder if happiness is impossible for some people.

If you get an HT with the hairline you have now [if the doctor even allows you to have one], I think you'd be a NW -7.

Seriously, you do not need an HT for the time being. If you can just keep what you have for years to come, you'll be good to go.

[Aames]

Tell me this, how many people on bodybuilding.com reached their goals and felt unhappy? None. It feels amazing to know you smashed your goals and become aesthetic for it. There is no difference between this and cosmetic surgery, removing acne, getting an HT.

It's fear mongering from the fat, ugly, bald NW7's of BTT. Don't let them get to your brother. Stay strong.

Thanks for the reminder, man. The more I think about it, the more I realize that aesthetics are one of the very few driving forces remaining in my life. I am very near to giving up on personal relationships and hobbies; while devoting myself to complete physical and intellectual perfection (I think, for people like us, "mental" or "emotional" perfection is impossible).