Putting on a Brave Face

[Fixed by 35]

Is anyone else finding that after several years of hair loss, putting on that 'brave face' and pretending to be happy when friends and family are about is just wearing thin and becoming too much like hard work?

I used to be able to just vent by various methods such as complaining on forums, playing the 'nasty customer' in shops etc to men with hair and generally making the lives of the hirsute miserable.

None of this is working any more and I think my girlfriend has finally started to notice my complete apathy towards life after three years of being together.

[Register]

No, not really - jus cut your hair short and move on with your life

you feel sorry for yourself so you think its ok to be rude to random shopkeepers just because they have hair...once you recieve a good beating from one of the shopkeepers, im sure you'l keep your mouth shut

[[mcr]]

Fixed_by_35 is simply going through the five stages of grief. Though no an exact science, it goes something like this:

1.Denial – This can't be happening, I cannot lose my hair.

2.Anger – Why me? It's not fair. Who is to blame? etc.

3.Bargaining – I'd give anything to have a few more years of full hair.

4.Depression – Why bother with anything. I'm bald. People laugh at me. Any disease has got to be better than this curse.

5.Acceptance – Well I'm bald, my friends and family still love all the same, I have a girlfriend, maybe life ain't so bad after all.

Fixed_by_35 is somewhere between 2 and 4. He will at some point reach stage 5 and realize that the people who matter in his life don't care about his hair, or lack thereof.

[Fixed by 35]

Actually, managed to reach stage 5 about three years ago when hair loss stabilised at an acceptable point even without drugs.

Then it all started again 6 months ago.

Also, reaching different stages of your life should initiate stage 2 again going up to 4, before you reach the next mile stone and start again.

It's not a series of emotions that happens once. It's a series of emotions that goes in a cycle. First, you go from 2-4 when you graduate. Then when you're looking for a life partner, you go back to stage 2. Then when you're getting married (nothing looks worse than a bald groom) it happens again. Every time you go back to square one where you ask 'why did this have to start before I'd even lived?'

It kick starts each and every time you look for a new job. Or when you're in line for a promotion that you lose out to some bloke with lots of hair.

Each and every time you're about to reach stage 5, something crap happens because of something you have no control over. Hair loss only becomes easier to deal with when you retire and are one of the vast majority.

Thus, it makes far more sense to not get over it and to be angry about it because it's a far more natural reaction. I'm already living in a shell feeling like the walking dead, if I accept it then the last piece of the old me will be gone, replaced by some retarded, pathetic pushover of a bald bloke.

As for life after baldness, forget it. You might be fine living a peasant life with limited opportunities, not giving a second thought to what might have been if things had been different, but I'm glad to be astute enough to know it has made a negative difference that has condemned me to a third rate life. If you really believe life will go on, perhaps you need to concentrate harder on how often someone less talented than you succeeds just because they're not bald.

[Gusto]

I may joke about my baldness now but it caused me a lot of upset when I was younger.

[[mcr]]

The same disadvantages of baldness can be experienced by men with other conditions, like short stature for example. A man who is 5'4" will suffer from the stigma much like a bald man. Not his fault, there is no "cure," all he can do is live with it. Everyday he's gonna wish he was taller, the same way you wish you had hair.

[KeepTheHair]

I honestly don't know what i will do when
my
hair gets worse. There is a good chance of it and I am definitely in denial.

[Fixed by 35]

I'd far rather be short than bald, that's for sure.

[KeepTheHair]

No doubt being a norwood 5 is much
worse than being short.

[Gusto]

I'd far rather be short than bald, that's for sure.

Well, if Devil said I had a choice. I'd rather be bald and average height, than 3 feet 2 inches short with a thick head of hair.

I have full confidence that a really good hair system out there exists for me.

Oh, and I'd rather be bald than be 68 stone, too.

[Fixed by 35]

Getting back to the point though, does anyone else find it very difficult being 'fake' with people all the time? I find it quite stressful pretending to be happy all the time because I don't remember the last time I was happy about anything.

What I'd like to do is just shut down, stop going to work, stop communicating with the outside world and to actually be completely honest with everyone, because to be blunt it involves a lot less effort.

Loyalty to others is the only thing that keeps me going and it's wearing thin. Existing purely for someone else's benefit is a strong motivating factor, but it can't last forever.

[KeepTheHair]

I guess I hate faking that everything is ok. I still have a lot of acting left in me
because i think my future will be much better. Just gotta hold on for now.

[Fixed by 35]

Trouble with baldness though is that it tends to be a trigger to put on weight. I've gained about 4 stone since I started losing my hair, for the very simply reason that I see no point in dieting any more.

What's the point in following a healthy diet when the only rewards are an image you still hate and extra years of life with an image you hate?

Bring on the saturates, that's what I say!

[KeepTheHair]

I disagree with that logic. When a cure comes out I want to be healthy. Not an unsuccessful fatty.


There is a lot of hope. Don't let it worsen the other things in life also.

[Fixed by 35]

If a cure comes out and if it is affordable. Increasingly likely, but I could lose all the weight in a year. I plan to lose the weight in the same year as the cure is doing it's thing, because I don't expect that to take any less than a year to see results.

At the moment, good food and good wine is life's only pleasure so there's no point giving it up.