This disease is affecting me more than usual today...

[NOhairNOlife]

I don't know if it's the crappy weather outside or what, but I feel more depressed today than usual about my hairloss. I went to go get a haircut today and the guy that usually cuts my hair wasn't there, so I went with one of the other hairstylists. While she was cutting my hair she said, "what's wrong you seem sad all the time, you use to be so joyful and full of life" (I've been going to the same salon for over 15 years). I just said, "nothing is wrong" and she kept persisting, she's like I know something is going on with you I can tell, I see it in your eyes. I know this sounds so stupid (considering I'm a grown man) but it almost brought me to tears, to think what my future holds for me, because I know there's nothing more I can do to stop this disease (I'm already on Fin, 5% Minoxidil and just starting dermarolling). The thing is when I style my hair you can't really tell I'm balding, but I know, it's always there in the back of my mind gnawing at my confidence.

I was really hoping with all the snow/freezing rain we got today that my car would slide off the road and I'd hit a tree / pole and die. It really makes me sad that I've ended up at this point in my life.

[Notcoolanymore]

Many will say since you are an older guy that you should be happy you kept your hair as long with you did and deal with it. I for one understand where you are coming from. Although I started losing my hair at 22, I still care about it at 38. If you care at all about what you look like then you will care about your hair loss. Some guys can shave their heads and look damn good, but most cant including me. I am not "big" like you, but like you I keep myself in good shape. In my opinion, the shitty condition of my hair keeps me from looking my best.

I have my bad moments. Mirrors are usually not my friend. All we can do is make the best of what we have. Like I said, my hair is crap and am currently in the process of trying to grow it out to see if I can pull anything off besides a buzz cut. I will tell you it's not looking good, density is pretty bad. I guess I should at least be grateful that I still have some hair on my head.

Just try to keep your head up man.

[NOhairNOlife]

Notcoolanymore, thanks for the positive words. My looks have always been very important to me, and yes I probably didn't develop the confidence in myself through other means because of my vanity, but how was I supposed to know in my 20s that this would happen to me.

Like I said I can style my hair good enough that it looks like I'm not balding, although a lot of people tell me my haircut is not very age appropriate (it's a fuax-hawk, spike type do). But I'm too afraid to blurt out, I'm balding and this is all I can pull-off so leave me alone, hahah. Now I feel like I'm deceiving any girl I meet, she thinks oh this guy is older with a full head of hair, little does she know when I take a shower I have a nice big bald spot in my crown. I feel like a girl who looks really good with a lot of makeup, but once she wakes up in the morning she's not all she seems.

[Notcoolanymore]

Like I said I can style my hair good enough that it looks like I'm not balding, although a lot of people tell me my haircut is not very age appropriate (it's a fuax-hawk, spike type do). But I'm too afraid to blurt out, I'm balding and this is all I can pull-off so leave me alone, hahah. Now I feel like I'm deceiving any girl I meet, she thinks oh this guy is older with a full head of hair, little does she know when I take a shower I have a nice big bald spot in my crown. I feel like a girl who looks really good with a lot of makeup, but once she wakes up in the morning she's not all she seems.

I wish I could pull a faux-hawk style, but that ship has sailed. When my hair finally grows out a bit hopefully I can style in a way that doesn't look too ridiculous. If not, then I guess I am back to buzzing it. Don't beat yourself up about styling to make the most of what you have. Nothing wrong with trying to put your best foot forward.