Part of being a personal trainer, is motivating people. You do the opposite in your posts, you are negative and often talk about no-self esteem. So you really need to work on that.
Keep going to the gym, and put in the effort and the hours. Maybe do a course that will help prove to employers that you know about personal training and diet.
Move to any place that will hire you as a personal trainer. Or any gym that will hire you for any position - like working in their cafe or something. If you work in a place, you are more likely to get promoted there, as they already know you.
If being a personal trainer will give you the confidence to be who you want to be, then do it. And it's really not a hard job to get, anyone could probably do it, if they worked towards it.
You say you want to be a personal trainer? Then do it!
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