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So today I went to a hair transplant doctor... in fact no im getting too far ahead of myself here. Let me start from the beginning of my hairloss journey.
I am currently 19 years old, at 18 maybe even 17 friends of mine would start to comment on my hairline, I have a high hairline with a widows peak and slightly receding temples (theres pics somewhere on this forum if your at all interested). They would say that i'm gonna go bald in the next 10 years. I took this as playful banter, returned it, and continued on with my life, with full knowledge they don't know what the **** they're on about.
I'd always had a fear of balding, my dads bald as a eagle, he started losing very early (18 years old), pictures show that he went full nw7 at 38. 20 years and bam no hair on the top of his head. It seemed to be a freak gene, my brother, my grandfather and my uncle, kept solid heads of hair, my grandfather lost the last of his hair at 60 something, and to this day still has more hair than my father. Looking very much like my dad, my family always jested I was going to end up bald just like him. I was comforted by the myth that hairloss comes from the mothers side. In my case that meant keeping most of my hair till old age.
A little before my 19th birthday I took a greater interest in my hair, checking it out in the mirror, browsing some of these forums, assessing the damage. Then I started running my fingers through my hair. Testing as it were. The results shocked me, I found a hair every time I pulled my hand out of my hair, sometimes 2 or 3 or 4. I was convinced that i'd inherited that shitty ass bald gene from my dad. I'm going bald and fast I thought. I researched the **** out of it and then simply forgot about it for a while, life got in the way, and my hair looked fine.
Cue a couple months ago, I was under the influence of a fair amount of LSD (My parents were out for a few days, none of my friends were keen, i thought **** it, i'll have mind blowing experience...[and that it was]), still being a newcomer to the drug, the dose was surely too much, and put me off drugs for a long while. The experience was insane, I was looking at myself in the mirror and running my hand through my hair and I could see my hair falling out, rapidly, it was blowing my mind. The faces I made to myself in the mirror were that of someone utterly distraught. I checked my hairline and thought that this without a doubt I am losing the **** out of my precious hair. The following trips involved seeing myself in the mirror as a bald man (which was not a pretty sight) and visions of my future self as a bald man, (annoying voice, sexually frustrated, desperate to prove himself as different, special, a man) The images shocked me, I vividly remember the shrill voice of this demon, and I just wanted to go to sleep, but if you've taken acid before, you know that shit is impossible. This was a very long trip, the dosage was ****ed, I had no idea what I was getting into, I was rolling for 16 hours at least.
At one point after constant torture of my inner demons alone in this house, I vowed to take control. I got out a notebook and wrote...just wrote my mind. It started as me writing down what happiness means to me. The results included things like sex, respect, attractiveness, and more I won't go into detail but you get the point. I came to the conclusion that hairloss put every single one of these things that made me happy, into a severe possibly irreconcilably jeopardy. I came to the conclusion (a conclusion I would soon reject) that I would try Propecia, even though the side effects scared the shit out of me.
I then drew (somewhat crudely). Firstly a picture of my future self with hair, how i'd always imagined how i'd look. Then a picture of myself bald, the drawing looked peaceful, benevolent, like some sort of friendly guru.
I started writing up scenarios and their consequences: I use procepia and it works and I keep my hair until they find other more permanent methods of keeping hair, and I spend my whole life with some tasty locks. I wrote a bunch of these scenarios along with there happiness content. At the end of this I wrote "Every scenario; I know at my core I am a bald man, even though I may hide it". Bald is who I was meant to be, but still the thought of it was painful.
I then wrote a new scenario "Say **** it, to all i hold dear and conquer life as a bald man. Youth may be a wreck. But through perseverance end up accomplishing that, which I thought I could not" These quotes are paraphrased. What i wrote for that final scenario, tripping as I was left me crying uncontrollably in a mix of emotions. The fear of whats to come ahead, the grieving of my hair, and the pride that I am taking it on full swing.
It was now day time the next day, I had tripped all night, and was still spinning. I set out for change. Over the next 2 weeks I stopped smoking drinking and weed, I began exercising frequently, going to doctors getting my shit cleared up, eating much healthier, and had a humble view of life.
In a fairytale my pain regarding my hairloss would have stopped there, as I accepted it and conquered it. However this was far from the truth. For every prideful ditch of the vanity of it all. There were fretful nights, long exchanges in the mirror, and I was sizing up hairlines of bypassers left and right, I'm pretty sure I attempted to bargain with the gods at some point. I found the site immortalhair, which is pretty much a procepia-free regrowth forum, full of alternative and experimental methods. I recommend it. After applying a couple techniques from the site, and drawing my life together I felt confident about facing my future.
I gained as much info on my hairloss as I could, know thy enemy. I posted on every which forum, the answers were pretty inconclusive, most saying "get yo ass on fin". I went to a shitty apathetic bitch of a dermatologist, she pretty much took a little look at my hair and threw minoxodil prescriptions at me. I wanted to know how and when I would lose my hair. I predicted in a typical norwood pattern front and back, based on my progress I would see significant thinning to a norwood 3-4 by the time I was 22 or 23. I based this off a guy I knew whose hair looked like mine when he was my age (i spent too much time checking out his facebook photos, tracking the progress) I soon learned the only way to know, is have it looked at under a scope, so I organised an appointment for a hair transplant surgeon. It was a fortnight or so of waiting. I was so confident I knew all there was to know about my hairloss I almost considered not going.
I showed him pictures of my dad, his brother, my maternal grandfather. He checked my hair, then something incredible happened, he said "there is some minor thinning" I said "Im going to end up like my dad aren't I", he laughed at this, saying that my hair would be in far worse shape if I'd inherited that gene. I asked "am I going to see any thinning at the back by the time i'm 25" He laughed at this also. He pulled out the norwood scale and gestured with his pen "your probably looking at nw3-4 vertex by the time your 50 and you'll probably keep that hair the rest of your life" I could barely contain my joy my voice almost squeaked. The possibility of having any hair on my scalp into old age was so far a possibility for me. I barely believed him, I interrogated him to be sure, I told him to check again. He told me that being so young I thought I knew everything, he told me to relax about my hair find something else to do with my time.
This frankly is the best news anyone has ever given me, the realization that i'll keep hair through my 20s, 30s and possibly 40s. It's like someone just cured me of cancer, by saying my tumors were a placebo.
The reason I tell you all this is not to gloat, it's multi-faceted. It's a little bit to share my joy with someone, but mostly I want a lesson to be heeded. I see alot of sadness on these forums, a defeated-ness, a crippling of the spirit. Believe me i've felt it. But taking an objective view on it, it's all self inflicted. Losing your hair is heart-breaking, its like a million girls breaking up with you simultaneously. BUT ITS WHO YOU ARE, however much you try to fix it, at your very heart, inside, you are a bald man. The only true way to be comfortable with yourself is if you accept that, accept yourself, and others will be glad to accept you. There are literally millions of balding people in the world, way more than are on these forums. If baldness meant absolute destruction of life and happiness, there would be millions of people on these forums, doing what you're doing. That means a large percentage of them have gone and found greener pastures, and you can too. Next time you walk down the street, and you see bald men, notice if there happy, don't assume from their hairline their level of happiness, but really assess. You'll find that many have achieved happiness and are content.
It's a hard journey, but hell life is hard, work for it, have a go at getting off these forums, and improving your life in the way you want it, and then live.
I hope your all familiar with guitar hero: Balding early is life on hard more, it's more difficult you have to move your hand up and down the buttons, there's a learning curve to it. Keeping your hair, being classically good-looking, that's life on easy mode, only using three fingers, breezing through a lot of it.
Easy mode may miss less notes, get better scores with less effort, but in the end who is better at shredding that plastic controller.
Through this experience i've gained a respect and kinship to everyone suffering early hairloss, but honestly some of you gotta man the **** up. If you believe you got something to offer, show the world what your made of, your not the first great man to be less than attractive.
I am currently 19 years old, at 18 maybe even 17 friends of mine would start to comment on my hairline, I have a high hairline with a widows peak and slightly receding temples (theres pics somewhere on this forum if your at all interested). They would say that i'm gonna go bald in the next 10 years. I took this as playful banter, returned it, and continued on with my life, with full knowledge they don't know what the **** they're on about.
I'd always had a fear of balding, my dads bald as a eagle, he started losing very early (18 years old), pictures show that he went full nw7 at 38. 20 years and bam no hair on the top of his head. It seemed to be a freak gene, my brother, my grandfather and my uncle, kept solid heads of hair, my grandfather lost the last of his hair at 60 something, and to this day still has more hair than my father. Looking very much like my dad, my family always jested I was going to end up bald just like him. I was comforted by the myth that hairloss comes from the mothers side. In my case that meant keeping most of my hair till old age.
A little before my 19th birthday I took a greater interest in my hair, checking it out in the mirror, browsing some of these forums, assessing the damage. Then I started running my fingers through my hair. Testing as it were. The results shocked me, I found a hair every time I pulled my hand out of my hair, sometimes 2 or 3 or 4. I was convinced that i'd inherited that shitty ass bald gene from my dad. I'm going bald and fast I thought. I researched the **** out of it and then simply forgot about it for a while, life got in the way, and my hair looked fine.
Cue a couple months ago, I was under the influence of a fair amount of LSD (My parents were out for a few days, none of my friends were keen, i thought **** it, i'll have mind blowing experience...[and that it was]), still being a newcomer to the drug, the dose was surely too much, and put me off drugs for a long while. The experience was insane, I was looking at myself in the mirror and running my hand through my hair and I could see my hair falling out, rapidly, it was blowing my mind. The faces I made to myself in the mirror were that of someone utterly distraught. I checked my hairline and thought that this without a doubt I am losing the **** out of my precious hair. The following trips involved seeing myself in the mirror as a bald man (which was not a pretty sight) and visions of my future self as a bald man, (annoying voice, sexually frustrated, desperate to prove himself as different, special, a man) The images shocked me, I vividly remember the shrill voice of this demon, and I just wanted to go to sleep, but if you've taken acid before, you know that shit is impossible. This was a very long trip, the dosage was ****ed, I had no idea what I was getting into, I was rolling for 16 hours at least.
At one point after constant torture of my inner demons alone in this house, I vowed to take control. I got out a notebook and wrote...just wrote my mind. It started as me writing down what happiness means to me. The results included things like sex, respect, attractiveness, and more I won't go into detail but you get the point. I came to the conclusion that hairloss put every single one of these things that made me happy, into a severe possibly irreconcilably jeopardy. I came to the conclusion (a conclusion I would soon reject) that I would try Propecia, even though the side effects scared the shit out of me.
I then drew (somewhat crudely). Firstly a picture of my future self with hair, how i'd always imagined how i'd look. Then a picture of myself bald, the drawing looked peaceful, benevolent, like some sort of friendly guru.
I started writing up scenarios and their consequences: I use procepia and it works and I keep my hair until they find other more permanent methods of keeping hair, and I spend my whole life with some tasty locks. I wrote a bunch of these scenarios along with there happiness content. At the end of this I wrote "Every scenario; I know at my core I am a bald man, even though I may hide it". Bald is who I was meant to be, but still the thought of it was painful.
I then wrote a new scenario "Say **** it, to all i hold dear and conquer life as a bald man. Youth may be a wreck. But through perseverance end up accomplishing that, which I thought I could not" These quotes are paraphrased. What i wrote for that final scenario, tripping as I was left me crying uncontrollably in a mix of emotions. The fear of whats to come ahead, the grieving of my hair, and the pride that I am taking it on full swing.
It was now day time the next day, I had tripped all night, and was still spinning. I set out for change. Over the next 2 weeks I stopped smoking drinking and weed, I began exercising frequently, going to doctors getting my shit cleared up, eating much healthier, and had a humble view of life.
In a fairytale my pain regarding my hairloss would have stopped there, as I accepted it and conquered it. However this was far from the truth. For every prideful ditch of the vanity of it all. There were fretful nights, long exchanges in the mirror, and I was sizing up hairlines of bypassers left and right, I'm pretty sure I attempted to bargain with the gods at some point. I found the site immortalhair, which is pretty much a procepia-free regrowth forum, full of alternative and experimental methods. I recommend it. After applying a couple techniques from the site, and drawing my life together I felt confident about facing my future.
I gained as much info on my hairloss as I could, know thy enemy. I posted on every which forum, the answers were pretty inconclusive, most saying "get yo ass on fin". I went to a shitty apathetic bitch of a dermatologist, she pretty much took a little look at my hair and threw minoxodil prescriptions at me. I wanted to know how and when I would lose my hair. I predicted in a typical norwood pattern front and back, based on my progress I would see significant thinning to a norwood 3-4 by the time I was 22 or 23. I based this off a guy I knew whose hair looked like mine when he was my age (i spent too much time checking out his facebook photos, tracking the progress) I soon learned the only way to know, is have it looked at under a scope, so I organised an appointment for a hair transplant surgeon. It was a fortnight or so of waiting. I was so confident I knew all there was to know about my hairloss I almost considered not going.
I showed him pictures of my dad, his brother, my maternal grandfather. He checked my hair, then something incredible happened, he said "there is some minor thinning" I said "Im going to end up like my dad aren't I", he laughed at this, saying that my hair would be in far worse shape if I'd inherited that gene. I asked "am I going to see any thinning at the back by the time i'm 25" He laughed at this also. He pulled out the norwood scale and gestured with his pen "your probably looking at nw3-4 vertex by the time your 50 and you'll probably keep that hair the rest of your life" I could barely contain my joy my voice almost squeaked. The possibility of having any hair on my scalp into old age was so far a possibility for me. I barely believed him, I interrogated him to be sure, I told him to check again. He told me that being so young I thought I knew everything, he told me to relax about my hair find something else to do with my time.
This frankly is the best news anyone has ever given me, the realization that i'll keep hair through my 20s, 30s and possibly 40s. It's like someone just cured me of cancer, by saying my tumors were a placebo.
The reason I tell you all this is not to gloat, it's multi-faceted. It's a little bit to share my joy with someone, but mostly I want a lesson to be heeded. I see alot of sadness on these forums, a defeated-ness, a crippling of the spirit. Believe me i've felt it. But taking an objective view on it, it's all self inflicted. Losing your hair is heart-breaking, its like a million girls breaking up with you simultaneously. BUT ITS WHO YOU ARE, however much you try to fix it, at your very heart, inside, you are a bald man. The only true way to be comfortable with yourself is if you accept that, accept yourself, and others will be glad to accept you. There are literally millions of balding people in the world, way more than are on these forums. If baldness meant absolute destruction of life and happiness, there would be millions of people on these forums, doing what you're doing. That means a large percentage of them have gone and found greener pastures, and you can too. Next time you walk down the street, and you see bald men, notice if there happy, don't assume from their hairline their level of happiness, but really assess. You'll find that many have achieved happiness and are content.
It's a hard journey, but hell life is hard, work for it, have a go at getting off these forums, and improving your life in the way you want it, and then live.
I hope your all familiar with guitar hero: Balding early is life on hard more, it's more difficult you have to move your hand up and down the buttons, there's a learning curve to it. Keeping your hair, being classically good-looking, that's life on easy mode, only using three fingers, breezing through a lot of it.
Easy mode may miss less notes, get better scores with less effort, but in the end who is better at shredding that plastic controller.
Through this experience i've gained a respect and kinship to everyone suffering early hairloss, but honestly some of you gotta man the **** up. If you believe you got something to offer, show the world what your made of, your not the first great man to be less than attractive.
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