Hi all. My balding story

[boourns]

Man, lately I can't stop staring at other peoples heads and looking for hair loss. I'm always looking for people around my age or younger with hair loss just so I can feel a bit better about myself. The crappy thing is I see so many people in their 40's or 50's that still have no scalp showing. Lucky bastards don't have to deal with this crap. Although at work, out of 20 guys who are 40 years old and above, 80% have noticeably thinning hair. Probably half the guys in their 30's are thinning. Doesn't seem that way in the outside world though. Maybe all the people with hair loss just stay home hahaha...

[ThinningB420]

That's what most younger men with hair loss seem to think - only if I could get to my 30's with my hair intact all will be well if I lose my hair after that. NOPE. IT WON'T. I don't think being in your 40's or 50's is going to be any easier if you happen to be one of those who couldn't accept baldness at a younger age. Generally, I'd say if you're one of those who became totally preoccupied with your hair loss and became worried and depressed about it and it basically fu-cked up your confidence AND LIFE, then chances are you WILL still feel the same way even when you're 60. My cousin died worrying about his hair. He was past mid 40's when he died.

I disagree with you. Some people, like myself, don't mind the fact that we are balding. It's the idea that we are abnormal and visibly balding at an early age. I really don't care if I eventually go bald. I do care if I look abnormal for my age.

"What is worse is I'm overweight and I'm divorced. My wife left me after 11 years of marriage two years ago. I'm still suffering from depression from that loss and now I have to deal with hair loss on top of it. I have a son too. Chicks aint lining up to date a balding fat guy with baggage. Atleast I would been in shape if I was dealing with it during my 20's. You'll find out that your metabolism ain't the same in your 30's like it was in your 20's."

You have nobody but yourself to blame for being overweight. Yeah your metabolism slows down in your 30s but you need to adjust your habits to respond to that. I see plenty of men older than you in great shape. There really is no excuse for being overweight unless you have physical limitations. If you can exercise you can be healthy. This is part of the problem with society and this forum. There is too much self pity.

My life sucks and I'm going bald but instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself I'm trying to improve my life.

[25 going on 65]

Don't be quick to presume you can put yourself in someone else's shoes or know what hardships they are facing. All of us are self medicating somehow, and food is only one way of doing it.
Also don't be quick to presume you know how you would feel if you started balding at an older age. Maybe now it "seems" like it's looking older than your age that bothers you, and maybe that is true, but it doesn't mean balding at 40-50 wouldn't bother you a lot as well. Going bald clearly does bother you now, and all of us; we can say we'd be fine with it if it started 20 years later but we'd really just be assuming.

[ThinningB420]

There is no excuse for being overweight if one can exercise. Self medication isn't an excuse it's an unhealthy psychological problem one should seek medical help for. I'm tired of hearing excuses from people about why their life sucks. Do something about it. I know this from actual experience. What did I do? I got professional help.

No, I know I wouldn't care if I went bald in 20 years. I don't care about looking older than my age. I care about looking abnormal for my age. That said, I am actually in the process of getting over balding just like I got over having adult acne. Like I said, in my case, I KNOW I wouldn't mind going bald in my 40s.

[NotBelievingIt]

People really need to stop saying "metabolism slows down" thats not terribly accurate.

Yes, the amount of calories you need to consume goes down as you age. Its also a generic figure that relates to the fact you become more sedantary as you age.

Its absolutely terrible that you can no longer consume an extra 100-200 calories a day! O M G whatever will we do! Lets fire up crazy expensive supplements to get that "fast" metabolism again to lose weight!

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

There needs to be commercials that advertise how weight loss and weight maintenance actually works...

[25 going on 65]

There is no excuse for being overweight if one can exercise. Self medication isn't an excuse it's an unhealthy psychological problem one should seek medical help for. I'm tired of hearing excuses from people about why their life sucks. Do something about it. I know this from actual experience. What did I do? I got professional help.

No, I know I wouldn't care if I went bald in 20 years. I don't care about looking older than my age. I care about looking abnormal for my age. That said, I am actually in the process of getting over balding just like I got over having adult acne. Like I said, in my case, I KNOW I wouldn't mind going bald in my 40s.

You think you wouldn't mind, but you won't be you in 20 years. You'll be whoever you have become by then. You may mind looking abnormal for your age, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't be triggered by balding at any age, since it is inherently depressing for most to have a condition in which your body progressively disfigures itself. That's why there are people of all ages on this forum.
Daily hardships don't excuse overeating but no excuse is needed. In modern society we are all self medicating in some way. Food, alcohol, drugs, TV, surfing YouTube, and whatever else we do to relieve/distract ourselves from the harsh realities we face every day. Food is just one of the self-medication methods that shows itself outwardly the most, and judging people for overeating is a way of excusing/minimizing our own faults and forms of medicating.
There is no excuse for wasting time on this forum. (Sitting down in front of a screen is bad for us, and gets us no closer to our goals.) We don't need an excuse. We are here a lot of the time just for relief and distraction.
We're all just animals anywho, bound to our instincts and environmental triggers. There is no true "free" will for us. (in some situations the best trained dog still won't help itself from biting the pest control man)
I won't judge you for it though.

[ThinningB420]

Nobody is judging anyone buddy, nor are they justifying their own forms of self medicating. All I'm saying is stop making excuses for your life and live and improve it.

Some of us actually came to this forum to learn about hair loss and find out ways to prevent it. Personally, I'm not here for a distraction. I came hear to learn about my options and I've stayed awhile to try and help others be positive about their lives but it seems many people would rather just wallow in their sorrow. That's why I'm done with this site after this post. I'm not even going to address your last point since it's a philosophical issue that is much more complex than you're making it out to be. Lastly, keep bringing up judgement since you obviously, like much of society, like to play that card even when it's not judgement.

Good luck to you in life. I mean no ill will. I'm just tired of seeing all the self pity and excuses on this message board and among people in general. Our culture has become pathetic.

[25 going on 65]

I meant no ill will either. I was trying to add perspective.
I agree people come here for reasons other than distraction, but distraction/relief is definitely one of the reasons for most of us regular posters.
Maybe "judgment" wasn't the best word to use, but when we pick out others people's flaws/crutches and show no sympathy, it is usually a form of myopia or a way to build ourselves up at someone elses expense. eg "I spend too much time in front of the TV but that guy eats too much!" And we are also prone to providing defenses for our own flaws/crutches that we wouldn't give to others. This all applies to me also....I actually used to say very judgmental things about overweight people, but the more you experience, the more benefit of the doubt you are willing to give to others.
I think wallowing in self pity is sometimes a useful step before you start doing something about a problem, even though it sometimes doesnt seem like it. Kind of like a grief stage. I have posted very dark, depressed, venting posts on BTT and then gone on the next day to meet my responsibilities with renewed vigor. This happened to me just this week
All cultures are pathetic in their own ways, but they're made by human beings so what else can we expect?
Good luck to you also

[blowmeup]

I hate that I’m balding, absolutely hate it, but I will not let it stop me from enjoying my life. I met a wonderful, drop dead gorgeous women like this, I live a very productive and fulfilling life and my hair looks like crap. I come here like many of you just to be around people who understand, but when I go back to the real world I deal with my hair loss the best I can. I do get down about it and don't love the way I look when I see myself in pictures or compare myself to better looking men, but it is what it is. I cherish these type of threads were we can discuss these things but still remain positive and hopeful. The crazy, negative stuff is what really makes me angry because we are supposed to be here for support, not to feel even worse. Let’s keep it positive guys. this is the only life we have so let's live it!

[boourns]

We all feel like crap about this hair loss stuff and feeling ashamed, self pity and all the rest is definitely ok. We're all human. Some of us may take it harder and some not so much.

To be positive though, if we plan to live for a while we do sooner or later have to mentally defeat the embarrassment we feel about hair loss, for the most part anyway. We definitely can't let it stop us from enjoying life. No one says you got to do this today but eventually you have to do it. If your choice is to let hair loss take over your life or work on not letting it take over your life then I think the correct choice is obvious.

It's all in the head and getting over hair loss is probably going to be a slow process but as long as you're thinking in that direction then things are looking up. Perhaps we're all taking life and hair loss a little too seriously. Think of it like everything else shitty that happened in your life. It passed so why won't the shitty feeling of hair loss?

I think instead of concentrating on how much better it would be if you had hair or all the bad situations that can happen we have to mentally concentrate on how it might actually be not so bad living life without hair or good hair. The power of positive thinking is underrated and sounds corny but negativity breeds negativity and the same goes for positivity. Sounds like a crappy solution to our situation but we ain't got anything better for now.