new guy feel so unhappy

[dgman21]

Thanks for the support thats very helpful.

Jack21 as for Elissa,I understand the feeling but if we can get our self confidence back and all stick together we can get women like that.
I know style is important too as in how you dress. I'm trying to stay positive..

[Jack21]

My sister used to always tell me not to get mixed up with beautiful girls b.c they know they're beautiful and tend to be on the bitchy side. Elissa didn't leave me b.c. I was losing my hair. She left me b/c I became obsessed with my hair among a lot of other things. The army left me with some psychological baggage obviously. I hate labelling but if Elissa was a 9 or a 10 the girl I went out with last night was a 4 or maybe 5 but she was really, really nice. Maybe this is an eye opener. Like I said before I didn't even give the poor girl the time of day before last week. Its not all about outward appearances. Our society does put way too much stock in outward appearance, but we balding men aree not shunned or treated like many minorities were/ have been in this country for centuries. We get made fun of b/c laughing at baldness is still accepted. It sux but it really could be a lot worse. Did you see my post about the kids at the acamedic contest?

Thanks for the support thats very helpful.

Jack21 as for Elissa,I understand the feeling but if we can get our self confidence back and all stick together we can get women like that.
I know style is important too as in how you dress. I'm trying to stay positive..

[Don'tDoIt]

Jack, you are right. You are never going to find another woman like Elissa. You are going to find someone better.

[dgman21]

Where did you post it,which thread?
I believe society would be better and more understanding if they stopped these hair advertisement on tv. When i goto the gym ,rogaine is every other commercial. Also they should stop pushing attractiveness as the best quality in people. Thats why these high school kids are so insane about looks and judgemental..
Jack how often do you shave your head to keep that style? I think I'm gonna go for that look also with the goutie.

[Jack21]

courage

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is my post from yesterday evening:


I spent the day with a group of high school kids at an academic tournament. I used to compete in high school and now I read and moderate a few Saturdays a year or coach the group from my alma mater. This year the team from my old HS had one kid in a wheelchair and one kid with one arm. I know that this sounds like some sort of bad joke, but its not. The kid with the one arm had his long sleeve rolled up so that the amputated limb was visible. I am no expert but it didn't look like a traumatic but a congenital amputation. I didn't ask him obviously. The kid in the wheelchair was not paralyzed. I was told that he has a disease akin to ALS but I don't really know. He is also virtually bald - at 16.

These kids compteted and I wish I could say that they won but they didn't. They were very good and made it to the semifinals. It was a long day with a quite a bit of down time between matches so I got the chance to talk to both of them. There they were not just not sitting in the house feeling sorry for themselves, but out competing in front of close to a hundred of their peers. I just thought to myself "How the **** can you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself and thinking about just throwing in the towel when you see such amazing acts of inner strength? I don't mean that b/c they are handicapped they are strong. I mean that they get out and live their lives despite of their handicaps. They know everyone stares. They know everyone is uncomfortable around them at first but they soldier on. I know that this is getting way off topic, but I thought that I had to share this.

I will say again that I have not made peace with baldness I have not even come close to being comfortable with it. I wake up every morning and the two or three seconds I have before remembering that I have shaved my head are the only misery free seconds of my day. But if these kids can soldier on, I mean I have to stop this. We all do. We can not allow this to ruin our lives. I am talking just as much to myself as I am to anyone else.

Where did you post it,which thread?
I believe society would be better and more understanding if they stopped these hair advertisement on tv. When i goto the gym ,rogaine is every other commercial. Also they should stop pushing attractiveness as the best quality in people. Thats why these high school kids are so insane about looks and judgemental..
Jack how often do you shave your head to keep that style? I think I'm gonna go for that look also with the goutie.

[Jack21]

thanks ddi

You're a good man. I really appreciate your support.

Jack, you are right. You are never going to find another woman like Elissa. You are going to find someone better.

[Jack21]

Once a week with a #1 guard. It takes ten minutes at the most. I put some aloe on afterwards and that's it. It couldn't be any easier. The funny thing is that when I still had hair I used to keep it shaved most of the time like in the picture below.

Where did you post it,which thread?
I believe society would be better and more understanding if they stopped these hair advertisement on tv. When i goto the gym ,rogaine is every other commercial. Also they should stop pushing attractiveness as the best quality in people. Thats why these high school kids are so insane about looks and judgemental..
Jack how often do you shave your head to keep that style? I think I'm gonna go for that look also with the goutie.

[Fixed by 35]

I could have guessed you were in the military. A lot of the cliches about 'getting over' baldness fit the army stereotype of de-personalising the individual and turning them into part of a collective.

If I had been psychologically conditioned in the same way, baldness would probably be easier for me too. The army can be extremely effective at boosting a person's self esteem in this way, not to mention having a positive effect on psychology (except during illegal wars of course!)

[Jack21]

You're right in some of what you say about the army. Yes, they do break you down in the beginning, depersonalize you, and make you believe that the individual is meaningless and the group all important. There are no individuals in basic training. Self esteem is gradually boosted (early on) by completing increasingly difficult tasks. But what you are talking about is basics and AIT. Once you're deployed things are very, very different. If you believe that what I'm saying is all simply a product of my having been in the military go ahead. I do not think so, however. It could be, but I remember what I was like after I was discharged, and I could not have been more different from the kid who had finished basics 6 years earlier.

I could have guessed you were in the military. A lot of the cliches about 'getting over' baldness fit the army stereotype of de-personalising the individual and turning them into part of a collective.

If I had been psychologically conditioned in the same way, baldness would probably be easier for me too. The army can be extremely effective at boosting a person's self esteem in this way, not to mention having a positive effect on psychology (except during illegal wars of course!)

[Fixed by 35]

I do think the army shaped your current views, but by no means is that a bad thing. The army has clearly shaped you into someone with a robust psychological mindset. Nor is collectivist thinking a weakness; unlike individualism, working as a group is something which must be taught and is an inherently stronger trait.

However, where baldness is concerned I don't want to accept it, I want to fight it. There are some things in life, like cancer and, worse, Simon Cowell which must never be accepted or they will spread and become more prominent.

So, my regimen ensures baldness is curtailed. Not only do I take medication to slow my own loss, I will also ensure I never father a child in order to keep the bald gene under lock and key.

[jooder]

Jack21 - I think you posting a pic of your ex illustrates the difference in peoples ideas of attractiveness..... you say she was a 9 or a 10.....judging by that pic i would say no more than an 8.

[Fixed by 35]

You didn't need to tell us she was a bitch. Some people's personalities are very obvious from a photo alone!

I don't think I've ever seen a bald man with more than a 6. Having said that, most bald men are older which might explain that. I don't know anyone younger than me who is balding, or anyone my age for that matter.

[jooder]

You didn't need to tell us she was a bitch. Some people's personalities are very obvious from a photo alone!

I don't think I've ever seen a bald man with more than a 6. Having said that, most bald men are older which might explain that. I don't know anyone younger than me who is balding, or anyone my age for that matter.

Unless your aged 20 or below, the fact that you dont know anybody your age or younger who is balding shows just how isolated you have become.
Also, i have seen countless bald men with girlfriends above a 6 - myself included : ).
Kelly brook is one of the most beautiful women in the world...... and she has been out with not one but two baldies! - Jason Statham and Billy Zane. Before you say 'its the money shes attracted to'......shes wealthy herself and there are loads of other actors she could have gone for with loads of hair!

[Jack21]

Jooder,

Its good to hear what you have to say about my ex. I think it just goes to show that beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. Despite my being very upset with her I still think that she was quite beautiful. You see it differently. It just goes to show that this whole business of attaching numbers to women is not really the thing to do. We all see things differently. 300 years ago obese women were considered beautiful (look at Titian's work). Today in many African countries obesity is still a very attractive quality in women. South Africa has the highest incidence of obesity in adult women in the world - believe it or not ahead of the United States. There is no universal aesthetic. Baldness in men was considered very attractive in Egypt during the period of the Old Kingdom. The men who had the pyramids built, Chufu, Kefren, and Menkaure, were all shaved headed although in the artistic record they appear almost always wearing pharaonic headdress.

Humor me here. I want to know what numbers you give to these (If they had any idea I was posting pictures of them on a "baldies are us" website they would kill me, but they'll never know and they deserve it anyway.

Unless your aged 20 or below, the fact that you dont know anybody your age or younger who is balding shows just how isolated you have become.
Also, i have seen countless bald men with girlfriends above a 6 - myself included : ).
Kelly brook is one of the most beautiful women in the world...... and she has been out with not one but two baldies! - Jason Statham and Billy Zane. Before you say 'its the money shes attracted to'......shes wealthy herself and there are loads of other actors she could have gone for with loads of hair!

[jooder]

For the sake of argument i would give them both a 7.....good bodies and pretty faces. Its kinda harder to tell with girl no 2 though. Its also hard to tell from a snapshot. For instance somebody may look a '6' in a pic....but if you met them and they had a twinkle in the eye and were a happy, smiley person..... that could easily change into an '8'.