new guy feel so unhappy

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  • Jack21
    Senior Member
    • Sep 2010
    • 167

    #16
    I don't know if I was happier about making sgt. or having a beret to cover my balding pate. I wish I could just wear a beret to work everyday. It such a tiny, tiny thing but it would make life SO much better. Sometimes I think about some of the countries I've been posted in and all the men wearing keffiyah. Wouldn't it be nice if a head covering was part of western culture? We'd instantly be a thousand times happier.


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    • dgman21
      Senior Member
      • Sep 2010
      • 203

      #17
      Or being Jewish like me and wish I can wear a yarmakah always..Maybe I should become orthodox! The picture of you looks good.

      Comment

      • Jack21
        Senior Member
        • Sep 2010
        • 167

        #18
        great idea!

        Jump on that. Get one of those nice big Sephardic yarmakas. What can anyone say? Take it off? Tell em to take a look at the Consitution. Maybe you'd really end up orthodox and inner peace would allow you to come to terms with balding.

        Originally posted by dgman21
        Or being Jewish like me and wish I can wear a yarmakah always..Maybe I should become orthodox! The picture of you looks good.

        Comment

        • jooder
          Senior Member
          • May 2010
          • 170

          #19
          Jack21- I really dont know where you are looking to see such a drastic difference. You look just as good in the second pic as you do in the first! The only difference i can see is the hunched shoulders 'im ashamed of myself' type stance.Honestly, you look absolutely fine!

          Comment

          • Jack21
            Senior Member
            • Sep 2010
            • 167

            #20
            Well thanks jooder. Obviously the miserable look of depression and the hunched shoulders don't help. If I had more support like yours I would be doing a lot better. My beard needs a trim too. I thank you and hope that I can find more support from my family. My best friend is in my corner but that's about it.

            Originally posted by jooder
            Jack21- I really dont know where you are looking to see such a drastic difference. You look just as good in the second pic as you do in the first! The only difference i can see is the hunched shoulders 'im ashamed of myself' type stance.Honestly, you look absolutely fine!

            Comment

            • jooder
              Senior Member
              • May 2010
              • 170

              #21
              Jack21- You are seriously letting this shit get on top of you. Your second pic is a prime example of why people say bald men are not attractive to females. The posture and miserable, non smiling look would put most women off! Why would anybody be attracted to a shell of a man??
              This is not an attack on you.....im just trying to point out how your own lack of self esteem is coming across....and from one pic i can tell that!
              Your a good looking man with a serious lack of self esteem. Study your friend with the bald head....does he have a cowering posture?...does he look miserable?...does he never smile. I think you will find that he does the exact opposite of these. Study other bald men who , in your eyes, are either good looking or happy people. I guarantee all of them will walk tall, smile and laugh and have a prescence about them.......much the same a happy people with hair funnily enough!
              Do yourself a favour, dont listen to the 'fixed by 35's of this world....the man is suffering from depression! Copy your frinds attitude to life

              Comment

              • Don'tDoIt
                Member
                • Jul 2010
                • 77

                #22
                Jack, I have agreed with you about how bad transplants can be for some people, but now I have to agree with Jooder.

                You still look good. Heck, you are easily better looking than I am. Find a girl and start a family. Life can still be good. Life WILL be good. Take it from me, a guy who wishes that he had your good looks!

                Comment

                • Jack21
                  Senior Member
                  • Sep 2010
                  • 167

                  #23
                  Yes, Jooder, you are right. The terrible lack of self esteem certainly comes across. Its in my eyes, my posture. It is so obvious. I'll try and act more like Rich. I think that its going to take time. I am still only in the second week of facing the world with the shaved head. I did actually go out last night with a girl from work. This is a terrible thing to say but when I still had hair I would never have gone out with a girl like that. Look how superficial I am. Terrible! But we went to a comedy show, had a few drinks, and I had a good time. She's a really nice girl and until last week I never even gave her the time of day because I was the guy who had been married to a gorgeous model - who was a total bitch btw. I am starting to learn about not allowing appearances to dictate our lives. I will try to smile and act more like Rich. Part of this means not hiding behind the ball cap b/c when it comes off its straight back to that miserable "I wish I was dead" look. Thanks for the comments guys. Really appreciate it.


                  Originally posted by jooder
                  Jack21- You are seriously letting this shit get on top of you. Your second pic is a prime example of why people say bald men are not attractive to females. The posture and miserable, non smiling look would put most women off! Why would anybody be attracted to a shell of a man??
                  This is not an attack on you.....im just trying to point out how your own lack of self esteem is coming across....and from one pic i can tell that!
                  Your a good looking man with a serious lack of self esteem. Study your friend with the bald head....does he have a cowering posture?...does he look miserable?...does he never smile. I think you will find that he does the exact opposite of these. Study other bald men who , in your eyes, are either good looking or happy people. I guarantee all of them will walk tall, smile and laugh and have a prescence about them.......much the same a happy people with hair funnily enough!
                  Do yourself a favour, dont listen to the 'fixed by 35's of this world....the man is suffering from depression! Copy your frinds attitude to life

                  Comment

                  • Jack21
                    Senior Member
                    • Sep 2010
                    • 167

                    #24
                    thanks very very much

                    Thanks for your insight and comments. I really appreciate it. I mean I really, really do. If it hadn't been for the support from you guys on here I would never have gone out last night.

                    Originally posted by Don'tDoIt
                    Jack, I have agreed with you about how bad transplants can be for some people, but now I have to agree with Jooder.

                    You still look good. Heck, you are easily better looking than I am. Find a girl and start a family. Life can still be good. Life WILL be good. Take it from me, a guy who wishes that he had your good looks!

                    Comment

                    • dgman21
                      Senior Member
                      • Sep 2010
                      • 203

                      #25
                      I know exactly what your talking about lowering standards of outside appearance in women...Its more from the inside..Most of the time in my experience the really goodlooking women are Bitches

                      Comment

                      • jooder
                        Senior Member
                        • May 2010
                        • 170

                        #26
                        I honestly dont believe you have to lower your sights regarding women. I started receeding at 20! My worst nightmare was to be comb - over man........ so i shaved it bald.....im talking bic bald. Im now 31..... from the age of 23 to 30 i was with a gorgeous girl and in that time i never even thought about my hair...just shaved it at the end of the day and that was that. Whilst i was seeing her i was 'approached' by other decent to good looking women too.
                        Since i split with her i have 'seen' another 10 women.... and none of them were ugly.... i would say for the sake of arguing they were all decent to good looking again (none below a 6, most 7/8 out of 10).
                        Its only recently i have even been concerned about my hair loss ( im a norwood 4/5!) and i occassionally come onto the forums to see if anything new is happening. I guess if a truly scarless HT was possible i might consider it as it would give me more options.....but apart from that im pretty much happy.
                        Jack21 - By the way, i would consider myself no better looking than you..... i just stand tall when i go out because at the end of the day im not settling for a second rate life.
                        P.S.... i sent you a private message with some ideas : )

                        Comment

                        • dgman21
                          Senior Member
                          • Sep 2010
                          • 203

                          #27
                          I have been venting and upset for a long time about this hairloss. It feels comforting to talk with people that understand. I wish there was hairloss anonymous meetings. I actually goto aa meetings to help with this but it doesn't seem to be working...Its fcked up isn't it. But I really need to talk with other guys to see how to get passed this bullshit!

                          Comment

                          • Don'tDoIt
                            Member
                            • Jul 2010
                            • 77

                            #28
                            Originally posted by dgman21
                            I have been venting and upset for a long time about this hairloss. It feels comforting to talk with people that understand. I wish there was hairloss anonymous meetings. I actually goto aa meetings to help with this but it doesn't seem to be working...Its fcked up isn't it. But I really need to talk with other guys to see how to get passed this bullshit!


                            dgman, hang in there. My guess is that you look just fine. It is OK to be bald, or have diffuse thinning, or to have a receding hairline. You are so much more than just your hair. Your personality, brains and overall presence go far beyond your hair. Be grateful for the gifts that you have been given. You deserve a good life and eventually you will have one!

                            Comment

                            • Jack21
                              Senior Member
                              • Sep 2010
                              • 167

                              #29
                              So when I looked like this:



                              My wife looked like this:



                              I am not going to ever find another woman like Elissa, although she was a real bitch.


                              Originally posted by jooder
                              I honestly dont believe you have to lower your sights regarding women. I started receeding at 20! My worst nightmare was to be comb - over man........ so i shaved it bald.....im talking bic bald. Im now 31..... from the age of 23 to 30 i was with a gorgeous girl and in that time i never even thought about my hair...just shaved it at the end of the day and that was that. Whilst i was seeing her i was 'approached' by other decent to good looking women too.
                              Since i split with her i have 'seen' another 10 women.... and none of them were ugly.... i would say for the sake of arguing they were all decent to good looking again (none below a 6, most 7/8 out of 10).
                              Its only recently i have even been concerned about my hair loss ( im a norwood 4/5!) and i occassionally come onto the forums to see if anything new is happening. I guess if a truly scarless HT was possible i might consider it as it would give me more options.....but apart from that im pretty much happy.
                              Jack21 - By the way, i would consider myself no better looking than you..... i just stand tall when i go out because at the end of the day im not settling for a second rate life.
                              P.S.... i sent you a private message with some ideas : )

                              Comment

                              • Jack21
                                Senior Member
                                • Sep 2010
                                • 167

                                #30
                                solidarity

                                Well you sure as hell aren't the only one going through this misery associated with hair loss. Its good to have a small group to talk about this stuff with. Its not ****ed up when you realize that you are not alone. Some people handle this with surprising ease and well then there are us.

                                Originally posted by dgman21
                                I have been venting and upset for a long time about this hairloss. It feels comforting to talk with people that understand. I wish there was hairloss anonymous meetings. I actually goto aa meetings to help with this but it doesn't seem to be working...Its fcked up isn't it. But I really need to talk with other guys to see how to get passed this bullshit!

                                Comment

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