The Shaved Head

[moses0324]

Wow, I try to come on here and provide some wisdom, advice, and I get bashed...I'm simply astonished and embarrassed for some of the members that this forum creates. It's honestly sad and disappointing that you put down the people trying to help the most.

To the member questioning my presence here. I log on occasionally to help inform people about hairloss, drugs, shaving, HT's, etc. While hairloss does bother me to some extent it isn't a "life" stopper. I have learned to grow up and accept it. It's life.

Again I'm astonished by the immaturity on this forum. Ultimatley it's up to you individually to get beyond it. If you don't, oh well. No one is gonna cry for you. Honestly no one cares but you. If you can't see that then you have a lot of thinking to do. While some figure it out sooner than others. Few will ever find it. I feel sorry for them. Goodnight. I'll try to refrain from responding in the future. Thanks

[Fixed by 35]

Wow, I try to come on here and provide some wisdom, advice, and I get bashed...I'm simply astonished and embarrassed for some of the members that this forum creates. It's honestly sad and disappointing that you put down the people trying to help the most.

I think perhaps people have been a little harsh on you. It's clear you're (mostly) only trying to help, however I will say I don't agree with you on much at all.

You say you come on here to provide wisdom and advice. Okay, but repeating unsubstantiated cliches that appear all over the web is not wisdom. It's hearsay and the experiences of the people on this forum invariably don't match what people like you say. People are all too willing to say baldness is okay because they want to look tolerant. They're all David Brent's really; they want to say the right thing but in reality hold bigoted opinions about a lot of things (I'm sure a lot of us do, I still firmly believe that the French are disgusting for not washing their hands after going to the toilet).

I think the worst cliche is that baldness isn't that bad. If that were the case, how do you answer this theoretical problem:

How can hair loss be no big deal when surveys suggest it has a negative impact on over 80% of men's confidence and is a catalyst of an identity crisis in millions. And think deeply about this: isn't the guy who combs his hair over and the guy who desperately pumps iron at the gym to 'compensate' just reacting differently to the same mental illness? How many balding people do you know whose personalities didn't change, for good or ill, when they started losing their hair?

And what about this applied question:

If baldness doesn't matter, why do talentless lumps like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt get better roles than Patrick Stewart ever did?

The reality is that:

Baldness will affect your career. In some cases, this will be through outright 'ageist' discrimination. More often though, it will be through either a lack of confidence or an identity crisis which leads to a career change. My performance at work suffered for years because of baldness because of both a lack of confidence and an identity crisis. There was a fair amount of discrimination against the 'unpretty' too!

Baldness will affect your relationships. I haven't seen friends from school or university for 8 years because I can't bear the thought of them seeing me bald. I want them to remember me how I was before the identity crisis (e.g. a lot less grumpy, overconfident).

Baldness is not attractive. Some women like baldness, but some women like fat blokes too. The general consensus is that it's ugly, but it's not polite to say so.

Okay, that's the downside and, I think, the reality. Contrary to the opinion of the meat head fraternity, this is largely unavoidable. You can't just magic your confidence back by realising your worst fears with a razor. That said, there are coping mechanisms. But you'll only ever discover yours once you accept baldness for what it is (a load of crap and a genetic defect), rather than polite society's cliched view that it's 'okay.'

[Mane Man]

Hmm... These threads are entertaining and somewhat disturbing. I really hope some people can man up and just try to be happy or at least find some peace. I shaved my hair down to a 1a on the clippers around Christmas 2009, and I am really happy with my decision. A few weeks ago while at the gym (desperately pumping iron as Fixed puts it) a good looking guy about my age with a little bit of receding around his crown area stopped me and asked when I shaved my head. I told him and he said he was thinking about buzzing his so he would stop obsessing about his hairline. Then he said to me- "you pull it off- I have a similar hairline, so you give me hope that I'll be okay without hair."

Compared to some people here, my confidence is huge. Still, having a person give me such an honest complement was really nice to hear.

[Mane Man]

One last thing- For those on here that say they won't have kids because they don't want to pass down a baldness gene, I say good. Not because you might, by chance (and I'm pretty sure it doesn't get handed down by the father anyway), pass down baldness. But because you might pass down your low self image and piss poor attitudes. I'm not trying to be a jerk- just want some of you to take a long look in the mirror and look at the man and not just the damn hairline.

[Fixed by 35]

Just out of idle curiousity, when did you start going to the gym? A lot of people I know who lost their hair started going to the gym around the same time. There's nothing particularly wrong with it, but often it's a bit of a personality change.

[moses0324]

I think perhaps people have been a little harsh on you. It's clear you're (mostly) only trying to help, however I will say I don't agree with you on much at all.

You say you come on here to provide wisdom and advice. Okay, but repeating unsubstantiated cliches that appear all over the web is not wisdom. It's hearsay and the experiences of the people on this forum invariably don't match what people like you say. People are all too willing to say baldness is okay because they want to look tolerant. They're all David Brent's really; they want to say the right thing but in reality hold bigoted opinions about a lot of things (I'm sure a lot of us do, I still firmly believe that the French are disgusting for not washing their hands after going to the toilet).

I think the worst cliche is that baldness isn't that bad. If that were the case, how do you answer this theoretical problem:

How can hair loss be no big deal when surveys suggest it has a negative impact on over 80% of men's confidence and is a catalyst of an identity crisis in millions. And think deeply about this: isn't the guy who combs his hair over and the guy who desperately pumps iron at the gym to 'compensate' just reacting differently to the same mental illness? How many balding people do you know whose personalities didn't change, for good or ill, when they started losing their hair?

And what about this applied question:

If baldness doesn't matter, why do talentless lumps like Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt get better roles than Patrick Stewart ever did?

The reality is that:

Baldness will affect your career. In some cases, this will be through outright 'ageist' discrimination. More often though, it will be through either a lack of confidence or an identity crisis which leads to a career change. My performance at work suffered for years because of baldness because of both a lack of confidence and an identity crisis. There was a fair amount of discrimination against the 'unpretty' too!

Baldness will affect your relationships. I haven't seen friends from school or university for 8 years because I can't bear the thought of them seeing me bald. I want them to remember me how I was before the identity crisis (e.g. a lot less grumpy, overconfident).

Baldness is not attractive. Some women like baldness, but some women like fat blokes too. The general consensus is that it's ugly, but it's not polite to say so.

Okay, that's the downside and, I think, the reality. Contrary to the opinion of the meat head fraternity, this is largely unavoidable. You can't just magic your confidence back by realising your worst fears with a razor. That said, there are coping mechanisms. But you'll only ever discover yours once you accept baldness for what it is (a load of crap and a genetic defect), rather than polite society's cliched view that it's 'okay.'

if this is your honest opinion of MPB...then i suggest you go live under a rock and let life pass you by. what do you have to live for?

[moses0324]

One last thing- For those on here that say they won't have kids because they don't want to pass down a baldness gene, I say good. Not because you might, by chance (and I'm pretty sure it doesn't get handed down by the father anyway), pass down baldness. But because you might pass down your low self image and piss poor attitudes. I'm not trying to be a jerk- just want some of you to take a long look in the mirror and look at the man and not just the damn hairline.

i am with you...some of the self pity on here is disturbing (therapy material). i cant help but feel sad for some of the members. i am probably one of the most critical of my self image. honestly there is nothing i can do about it. why piss and moan. its genetics and nature...my exit stragey: take meds, shave down to a zero, tan, work out, work on my personality, be out going, enjoy my hobbies/interests, and live life. if someone doesnt want to be part of my life because im losing hair or i shave my head then thats on them.

[mlao]

[QUOTE=Mane Man;24800](and I'm pretty sure it doesn't get handed down by the father anyway)[/QUOTE

MM I'm not being critical of your post i just want to help inform. FYI The gene for hair loss is a complexed gene and it can come from either your mother or fathers side. This is from Dr. Rassmann's website:

Genes
Common baldness cannot occur without the presence of specific inherited genes. These genes can be passed on by either parent. A gene is a single bit of chemically encoded hereditary instruction that is located on a chromosome and actually represents a tiny segment of DNA. Chromosomes occur in pairs (humans have 23 pairs), and every individual gets one set of chromosomes from each parent. The genetics of androgenetic alopecia is complicated and hair loss is now felt to involve more than one gene. When several genes govern a trait, it is called polygenic.
Genes that are located on the X or Y-chromosomes are call sex-linked. Genes on the other 22 pairs of chromosomes are called autosomal. It is felt that the genes governing common baldness are autosomal. This means that the baldness trait can be inherited from the mother's side of the family or the father's side. The commonly held notion that baldness comes only from the mother's side of the family is incorrect, although for reasons not fully understood, the predisposition inherited from an affected mother is of slightly greater importance than that inherited from an affected father.

The term, "dominant" means that only one gene of a pair is needed for the trait to show up in the individual. A "recessive" gene means that both genes need to be present in order for the trait to be expressed. The genes involved in androgenetic alopecia are felt to be dominant.

Just because a person has the genes for baldness, doesn't mean the trait will manifest itself. The ability of a gene to affect one's characteristics, i.e. be visible in a particular individual, is called "expresivity". Gene expression is related to a number of factors, the major ones being hormones and age, although stress and other factors can play a role. To put it simply, a man whose father and uncles are severely bald may have minimal hair loss himself, either because the baldness genes have not been passed on or because the expression of the baldness gene that he did inherit is limited.

[Mane Man]

I started going to the gym in college. From my experience, it is one of the best things you can do to increase your self confidence. I didn't realize I was losing my hair at all until I was about 26, when I buzzed it down for work. I haven't been consistent going to the gym since 26, but I usually feel better about myself when I do go. I'm not doing it to achieve some sort of acceptable bald look. I would be working out regardless of my hair. If anything, I work out because getting old doesn't have to suck and I want to be active and healthy as long as possible. I personally would rather have a healthy toned body and no hair than be a slob with great hair. Of course I would rather have both, but who wouldn't?

[moses0324]

I started going to the gym in college. From my experience, it is one of the best things you can do to increase your self confidence. I didn't realize I was losing my hair at all until I was about 26, when I buzzed it down for work. I haven't been consistent going to the gym since 26, but I usually feel better about myself when I do go. I'm not doing it to achieve some sort of acceptable bald look. I would be working out regardless of my hair. If anything, I work out because getting old doesn't have to suck and I want to be active and healthy as long as possible. I personally would rather have a healthy toned body and no hair than be a slob with great hair. Of course I would rather have both, but who wouldn't?

x2. agreed. our outlooks on MPB are similar.

[Weedwacker]

I think people have to come to grips with the fact that guys have different opinions regarding their hairloss - and no one's opinion is necessarily correct. There are many factors involved here, some of which may differ from person to person.

Some guys who lose their hair aren't as affected by it because they wear the bald look better than others, whose looks have been ravaged by it. Conversely, some guys look like freaks bald. There is a large segment of the shaven-head group who like to look 'tough' and intimidate others, so balding isn't a deal-breaker for them. These guys think that by shaving their heads, they are all of a sudden a world light-heavyweight boxing champion. I actually feel sorry for them.

Some guys excessively flip out over their hairloss when, realistically, things must be put into perspective. There are many people around the world (many of whom are children) who are a lot worse off than a bald man. Imagine being a child in some third world shithole, and in the process of starving to death. There are many people in the world who are suffering as we speak.

Fortunately, men are not judged on their looks the way that women are. Women aren't allowed to just say, "**** it, I'm shaving it all off." Men are allowed to get away with pretty much anything, such as growing out beards or shaving their heads - both are pretty drastic. I will say that many men don't care about their appearance, so no matter what happens to them, they will not be bothered by it. I think to a certain extent, the degree to which one is concerned about his looks will affect how much he is bothered by his hairloss.

Again, as I have stated a million times, hairloss is not the end of the world. Why do some people take life so seriously? Men need to stop blaming themselves for going bald - as if it's their fault. I used to almost feel guilty about it, until I realized that made about as much sense as feeling guilty that the sun's not out today. I have always exercised hard to make sure I am well-conditioned. During the course of my life, I have seen inumerable fat slob men with perfect heads of hair and who have perfect health. Having gone through an illness (which wasn't my fault) I have come to realize that life is sometimes not fair. What did some lazy fat guy do to deserve a full head of hair? It's not like he respects his health or cares about his appearance anyway! Well, that's the sort of joke of a world in which I live - and I am not going to lose any sleep over it.

[Fixed by 35]

Crawling under a rock is still better than growing a 'goatee' (AKA an insecurity badge).

[moses0324]

Crawling under a rock is still better than growing a 'goatee' (AKA an insecurity badge).

You seem to have it all figured out... Go back to your rock. No one wants your negativity...please go away.

[DAVE52]

Crawling under a rock is still better than growing a 'goatee' (AKA an insecurity badge).

Geez And I thought my insecurity about my hairloss was bad .

IMO you should seek some form of counselling .or medication

You see to blame everythign that has or hasn't happend to you on your hairloss

[Fixed by 35]

I come from a country where the 'goatee' went out of fashion very quickly around 2000-2001. The 'David Brent' character was its final and deserved nail in the coffin. Anyone who wears one now would be as well advised to wear a t-shirt with the word 'twat' emblazoned across it. I have noticed it has not suffered the same fate in North America yet, in much the same way as the mullet stubbornly clings on to the Bible Belt!

I don't blame hair loss for everything, but I know it's had a huge and negative impact on my life and the lives of millions of others. Whether through a loss of confidence, poor first impressions or simply being considered older (being treated as middle aged when you're 21 can have a hugely negative effect at work, as you're judged by higher standards because people expect you to be mature and used to an office environment from day 1, whereas your peers get an easier ride) it has been a real burden.

The thing that winds me up more than anything now though is society's attitude that bald men should bic themselves everyday. Whilst I agree the combover is an absolute no no, I don't see the point in head shaving either. For example, today I saw two Norwood VI/VIIs standing near one another; one trimmed, the other shaved. I just don't get this idea that one is meant to be better than the other because I cannot see a discernable difference. They both looked the same age (although one was dressed considerably younger) and they both had the peaky, ill look that the very bald have.

The only difference would be that the shaver would have been up twenty minutes earlier preening himself for no apparent gain! He might as well shaved his legs for the improvement in his image it gave him!