Don't Have Children

[SpencerKobren]

Dear Spencer: I am sorry I missed the show. I had other pre engagements. Is there a way I can hear the show through this site? I hope to call in at some point. I am always doing something on the weekends but will definitely call in the next time on this topic. Thanks--geminidb.

Hey Gemini,

We only archive segments of particular broadcasts, but feel free to call in anytime..This is an extremely important issue that we touch on during every broadcast. We’re now broadcasting on Tuesday nights @7pmPST/10pmEST and of course every Sunday night @5pmPST/8pmEST.

To ensure that you get through try to call a few minutes before the program starts.

Take care,

[Fixed by 35]

I think I should probably say that my views only really apply to those who go bald young. Whilst distressing at any age, I think baldness would have been okay in my 40s. In my 20s though, it's been hell. It does steal your youth, because everyone assumes you're much older than you are. You become the old creepy guy at the trendy pubs and clubs, even though you're not old.

I think my worst experience though was when I was just beginning to lose my hair when I was just starting out in my career. I was subjected to watching management videos with some awful stereotypes. You know the sort of thing I mean, the ones in which all women are perfect professionals, most men are a bit slack and sleazy and the ultimate hero is a man with lots of hair and shiny white teeth.

In the ones we were made to watch, there was a manager with hair that President Kennedy would have been envious of; a go getting young man with slick gelled hair who was uber professional; the token brilliant woman which no real organisation ever employs and, oh, the difficult, fat, useless one. He was bald, of course.

Indeed, in most management training videos, there's a bald baddie. Professional firms are indoctrinated with the view that no hair = useless employee.

I'm not putting people on this earth to be taught crap like that.

[hdude46]

i feel sorry for people like you who put so much stock in something like a 'management training video'. i mean seriously come on man. yeah hairloss sucks but there are much worse things in the world. most of my friends dads are bald and they still have all their hair while my dad is a nw1 and im losing and im almost 26, should they not have had childern? your life is going to be a very shallow and lonely life if u keep placing this much stock into what others may or may not think. if u are so concerned about being bald, get a ht or buy a hair system.

it just depresses me to read threads like this and see there are people with this kind of attitude when life is all about overcoming challenges and obstacles. if u think u can't get a promotion or get a good looking gf, then u are working at the wrong place or dating the wrong girls. i understand the self pity but posting on a message board telling everyone u wont have kids b/c they might have to deal with hairloss, when most of the male population will have to at some point in their lives, seems absurd.

[Fixed by 35]

I look forward to getting a ht. I think I will go for an ht and replacement system combo. Thick at the front, with a hair system to cover the back. Is that possible?

[geminidb8]

Well attitude is everything. That said I still am not having any children and putting them through this. Every person is different. Some even lie to themselves and state that things are not that bad. This is what gets them through life but you know what the plain truth is no person wants to be bald. Every procedure that is available is not guaranteed. That said I am glad that I have been mostly corrected and have some hair. Having said this I am happier having some hair imagine how happy I would be with a full head of hair. NO person can tell me differently. One must go on but I have lived a living hell with bad transplants, scarring and just some hair. It truly has made me decide never, ever to have a child. I am 45 in june and feel the same way I did 30 years ago. If people want to be selfish and lie to themselves that is thier perogitive.

[Fixed by 35]

Well said. The only available cure for baldness is the same as HIV. Don't spread it around.

I would like to expand on this too. When you go bald, you earn the right to be selfish. It's yin and yan. You've had a crap break, so you're entitled to be number one.

Do you really want to commit your whole life to children, especially if they go bald and blame you for it later anyway?

[geminidb8]

I think that this thread is a feeling that every person who has experienced hair loss goes through. People must repect everyones opinion. One cannot change my feelings as I cannot change theirs. It is best to do what is right for yourself-That is my whole point in this blog. I just know I have had something taken from me and have never ever felt the same since. That is why I would not pass this on to anyone else- Sort of the "Do unto others as you would want done to you"-- Without getting too religious.

[Fixed by 35]

If bald people like us spread our genes, then baldness will become increasingly common. It'll mostly be spread further by daughters of people with our condition (carriers if you like) marrying into families without the baldness gene. Some bald men will spread the gene too but let's be honest, most women of child rearing age hate baldness. Baldness has increased generation by generation because of the spread of genes - it's got nothing to do with environment. Also, it seems to be a gene that hits each generation younger. I expect any kids I have to be balding by 15 or 16 - that is way too young.

[hdude46]

this is the dumbest thread i have read in a long time. but im glad u two have no self esteem and can pat each other on the back.

[StayStrongMen]

this is the dumbest thread i have read in a long time. but im glad u two have no self esteem and can pat each other on the back.

lol it's very sad to see their lives revolve around having or not having hair....this long after they first started losing it.

[geminidb8]

Yes I am more honest than most people you two can go on telling yourselves how great it is to be bald and lie and lie to yourselves. Now go look in the mirror and fall in love with that image. Honesty in life is a true virtue. Bald is great and that is why it is a multi million dollar industry trying to cure it . You are laughable. I am honest.

[Fixed by 35]

There is an element of truth in that we do need to get on with our lives. People with far greater afflictions do, which would make us pathetic if we did not. However, that doesn't mean we should create another generation that has to 'make do' at the bottom of the pile.

Nor should we have to pretend we enjoy life. Over the past few years, since losing some of my hair, I've got a good job and a lot of professional qualifications. I have a stable relationship and I'm financially secure. However, I get no pleasure or satisfaction from any of it, because it wasn't the life I wanted. The life path I wanted to follow is restricted to people with good hair. Let's just say I did two things at school and university; acting and politics.

The fact is no matter what I do, however much I succeed, I'll get no pleasure from it because I'm only allowed to fulfil someone else's dream, not my own which is restricted to the hirsute. Why did I start taking dutasteride again a month ago, some 2 years after thinking I'd finally accepted my hair loss? Simple; I passed some more professional qualifications and got zero satisfaction from doing so. The pass rates of these exams are so low others dance in fountains when they pass; I couldn't give a damn.

Hair loss took the edge off life. It's okay, not great, just average. It made me average and it ruined my ambitions, that's why I'll never pass the gene on.

By all means go off and shave your head, pump iron, eat healthily. The rest of your life has been ruined, you might as well sacrifice your recreational time to your hair loss too if that's your thing. But don't try and convince yourself you look good. At best you look average; in all likelihood, you look old and ill. And if that's not enough, all the bald men I know who grow to 'accept' it are the sort of people who lacked ambition in the first place.

[KeepTheHair]

Fixed by 35,


Your logic is completely flawed. I am 20 years old and my hair is starting to get thinner.

I am very sure that I can both prevent and improve my hair. There are good options available today. If you take propecia, use rogaine and the lasercomb and so forth I am very sure some results will happen. To me these options will suffice. I am also willing to get a hair transplant. All of these options are enough.



I am 100% sure that in the future there will be extremely good solutions to these problems. I am talking in OUR lifetime something WILL happen that makes it much, much easier to keep all your hair, not even talking about your kids.


Don't be so negative. Things can be done about this.



I agree, pumping iron and trying to solve it that way and shaving your head thats bullshit I agree. That is totally retarded and NOT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE. I just want my damn hair back to what it was when I was 16-17. I will do whatever it takes.

I believe that if you start early, there is a lot of hope. So that is why I will try everything, if everything does a little, together it will be sufficient. Will be really expensive though, but whatever it's definitely worth it.

[Fixed by 35]

I used to think like you when I was 20 but I'm afraid the prognosis is not as good as you would like.

1) Drugs don't stop hair loss, they slow it down. They're worth taking for that reason, but you'll still be balder year on year.

2) Rogaine is pretty much useless and doesn't regrow the hair line.

3) Hair cloning and other techniques currently in production were as near to completion about 20 years ago as they are now. The longer you lose you hair, the more you'll get used to the 'cure' cycle. For example, when I started losing my hair in 2003, hair multiplication was 'up to' five years away. It is now, ahem, five years away. It's just a ruse to gain funding.

4) The deadline for a solution to make you happy is shorter than you seem to think. For example, irrespective of whether they develop a new cure tomorrow, I still lost my youth. If they develop it in the next 5 years, I've still lost the rest of my 20s. If they develop it in 10 years, I'll be middle aged by then and half my friends will be bald and it will be much less important.

I'll still take the cure when it's available, but it's getting to the point now that all of the best years of my life will have been spent looking like a freak. People will obviously say just get over it and stop wasting your life, but they're the ones who have gotten it wrong. When you've already dedicated yourself to fight the curse, it's very hard to just give up. To both lose your youth and now give up and become resigned to a look that makes you want to vomit every time you look in the mirror is just too big an ask.

[KeepTheHair]

eh, I hope the stuff works better for me....


Why have you not gotten a hair transplant? Those are really good. The results are amazing. So propecia + hair transplant would be a cure, would it not?