I wonder about aesthetics.

[clandestine]

In a Highlander mind set, I suppose.

I wonder about aesthetics. We all try to look our best, sure. Striving for aesthetic is, however, largely predetermined by genetic factors. We are how we are born.

Now, consider the more eternal aspect of our being. Societal norms don't place much value here; this is a world where media focuses on aesthetic to purport a need for product. Perhaps, though, this aspect is most important.

I recently hooked up with a girl who was attracted to me because of my intelligence, not necessarily my aesthetic. She was fit. My buddy recently hooked up with a girl who was attracted purely to his aesthetic. What's interesting is, she'll lose her aesthetic one day. Probably quicker than he will; it all fades in time, though, then we die.

No real meaning to this post, really. Just some thoughts.

[BigThinker]

Importance of looks, or other attributes, depends largely on the environment. If you're at the club, expect looks to matter a lot, and don't expect any girl to be trying to lean in for an intelligent conversation.

[Aames]

Personality, intelligence, etc. ONLY matters after a potential mate has already noticed your beauty/aesthetics. Good looks get you in the door and are a huge advantage in every social situation, not just those with the opposite sex. If this weren't true, no one would care about balding in the first place.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Personality, intelligence, etc. ONLY matters after a potential mate has already noticed your beauty/aesthetics. Good looks get you in the door and are a huge advantage in every social situation, not just those with the opposite sex. If this weren't true, no one would care about balding in the first place.

1) You can grow onto the girl.

Ever met a girl you wasn't into, but eventually, you got really into her?

It just takes time.

For example, I wasn't my ex GF type at all. I grew on her.

She fell in love with my personality and the way I made her feel.

2) In a club/bar environment - yeah, sure, your chances of attracting a mate are slimmer.

But then again, some of that is down to a lack of confidence.

I know from personal experience, when I am not feeling good - I am extremely uptight. I remember one weekend when I was insecure, nobody spoke to me, the following weekend - I felt good about myself. Girls were being cheeky with me.

I looked the same, and dressed just as well.

On the same note, I also have a friend -balding. Who does better then me in a clubbing environment. He is very confident - handles rejection - and keeps approaching until he gets a # (which I have seen). Granted a lot of the time the girls are not all that, but he gets somewhere never the less.

And finally:

3) You are all assuming that good looking guys are going to sleep with every girl that hits on them.

One of my friends, very handsome, and knows it.

He literally blows girls off due to being extremely picky.

I wouldn't underestimate your chances.

[ChrisM]

I have dated and been with my share of good looking women( and a good number of their personalities sucked let me tell you which does go into the looks aren't everything as being and those in between and those fairly average to not so aesthetically pleasing as many might say. It came down to confidence and self esteem with me and so I faced rejection and still wound up dating many women and I started balding in my early 20's and I am 41 years old today. I got together with a woman who was when I met her about an 8 out of 10 in looks and we have two beautiful kids together today.

I currently use Propecia and Nizoral and minoxidil because after years of head shaving and working in an office I was mistaken for a different bald black guy and then another and I thought what the hell is this ? I realized my mark of individuality was no longer and now it was sort of expected to work with a bald black guy rather than one with hair.

I decided at 41 it was time to let loose let me hair grow out and see what I had to work with after years of Minoxidil.. Procerin, Provillus, Nioxin, Saw Palmetto, Tricomin, Dr Lee and how many other scams out there and frankly the baldness crown and vertex had miniaturized hairs there some thick and most peach fuzz but there and my temples which left me in early twenties I could still feel the fuzz where there used to be and so I embarked on my regimen and it has been working.. my erections are there.. the typical morning wood is not always there.. semen volume did go down although it is not watery by any means anymore and no testicular burn or pain so I am giving this my final shot as a NW5 which I think I am based on the charts.. and so far it is working quite well.

[Exodus]

Call me naive, I always think a bulked up black guy can work the baldness look. Benjamin Sisko in Star Trek is really hot...

[ChrisM]

Call me naive, I always think a bulked up black guy can work the baldness look. Benjamin Sisko in Star Trek is really hot...

Some black guys can and others have disproportionate heads just like guys of any other race out there and thusly shaving their heads does them an injustice. I happen to have a proportionate sized head and symmetrical features and even I want to fight for my hair at this point in my life because I don't want to be bald black guy number 45 out there out of so many walking around. I would love a dense afro so thick that I don't have to put a hat on in the winter like some of those guys with thick dense hair. One can dream!! =)

[Exodus]

Some black guys can and others have disproportionate heads just like guys of any other race out there and thusly shaving their heads does them an injustice. I happen to have a proportionate sized head and symmetrical features and even I want to fight for my hair at this point in my life because I don't want to be bald black guy number 45 out there out of so many walking around. I would love a dense afro so thick that I don't have to put a hat on in the winter like some of those guys with thick dense hair. One can dream!! =)

If I was in your position, I too would probably dream of an Afro.

[clandestine]

There are rules, apparently;

Number one: Be attractive. Number 2: Don't be unattractive. To what extent are we truly governed by these apparently pervasive descriptors?

[ChrisM]

There are rules, apparently;

Number one: Be attractive. Number 2: Don't be unattractive. To what extent are we truly governed by these apparently pervasive descriptors?

Attractiveness and its opposite ugliness are both completely subjective in the eye of the beholder. I have seen men rejected by very attractive looking women and years later they are married, engaged or seriously dating women who would be considered by many superficial people to be "plain janes" and yet when asked those men hold such women in high esteem and love because their personality and treatment of them trumped the shallow beauties that treated them badly in their past. I have seen women reject men with full heads of hair because they didn't meet some other prerequisite that was a deal breaker.. perhaps he had chronic halitosis, hair on his back or an over bite with crooked teeth or his sense of dress style was off or was not athletic or tall enough. And those are the material areas I haven't even gone into sexual chemistry and compatibility let alone emotional intelligence and maturity of both people involved relative to each other.
Look at our celebrity examples before Mr Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie married Billy Bob Thornton.. before Danny Moder.. Julia Roberts fell in love with and married Lyle Lovett The heart wants what it wants and it like our minds contains a view of beauty that changes over time.

[VictimOfDHT]

Once again, why do you people always make it look like it's all about getting women? It's not.

You need to be attractive not only for the women but for the whole world. There's no disputing the fact that looks are important in this world and especially in our times.

Yeah. A girl can grow on you but good luck getting to the point where she has enough interest in you to listen to what you have to say, especially if you're ugly and losing your hair on top of that. Enough with this crap. Chances are if you're not good looking you won't get that hot girl u always dream of. Face it. And I don't want to hear about Danny Devito...

[yeahyeahyeah]

Attractiveness and its opposite ugliness are both completely subjective in the eye of the beholder. I have seen men rejected by very attractive looking women and years later they are married, engaged or seriously dating women who would be considered by many superficial people to be "plain janes" and yet when asked those men hold such women in high esteem and love because their personality and treatment of them trumped the shallow beauties that treated them badly in their past. I have seen women reject men with full heads of hair because they didn't meet some other prerequisite that was a deal breaker.. perhaps he had chronic halitosis, hair on his back or an over bite with crooked teeth or his sense of dress style was off or was not athletic or tall enough. And those are the material areas I haven't even gone into sexual chemistry and compatibility let alone emotional intelligence and maturity of both people involved relative to each other.
Look at our celebrity examples before Mr Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie married Billy Bob Thornton.. before Danny Moder.. Julia Roberts fell in love with and married Lyle Lovett The heart wants what it wants and it like our minds contains a view of beauty that changes over time.

This is true - but it is not black and white.

The guys you have to watch out for, are the ones' with the complete package:

- charm
- looks
- wealth.

But I would say, probably the key getting a woman is unlocking her heart. Sometimes it is not as simple as being good looking, although being good looking makes you less timid and more ballsy because you believe that you can get her.

[ChrisM]

This is true - but it is not black and white.

The guys you have to watch out for, are the ones' with the complete package:

- charm
- looks
- wealth.

But I would say, probably the key getting a woman is unlocking her heart. Sometimes it is not as simple as being good looking, although being good looking makes you less timid and more ballsy because you believe that you can get her.

Exactly so.

[Ktownmatti]

Attractiveness and its opposite ugliness are both completely subjective in the eye of the beholder. I have seen men rejected by very attractive looking women and years later they are married, engaged or seriously dating women who would be considered by many superficial people to be "plain janes" and yet when asked those men hold such women in high esteem and love because their personality and treatment of them trumped the shallow beauties that treated them badly in their past. I have seen women reject men with full heads of hair because they didn't meet some other prerequisite that was a deal breaker.. perhaps he had chronic halitosis, hair on his back or an over bite with crooked teeth or his sense of dress style was off or was not athletic or tall enough. And those are the material areas I haven't even gone into sexual chemistry and compatibility let alone emotional intelligence and maturity of both people involved relative to each other.
Look at our celebrity examples before Mr Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie married Billy Bob Thornton.. before Danny Moder.. Julia Roberts fell in love with and married Lyle Lovett The heart wants what it wants and it like our minds contains a view of beauty that changes over time.

Agreed. Beauty or "hotness" is soooo much more subjective for women. You put one guy in front of 10 women, you will get 10 different opinions from hot to fugly. When I was in my early twenties I used to laugh listening to my female buddies argue over who was hot and was not.

Take heart guys, no matter who you are, someone out there thinks you are hotter than Georgia asphalt.