Girlfriend dumped me this Thursday... For a guy with a full head of hair

[Artista]

Im glad to hear that Chuck.
Hopefully we can influence ,especially the YOUNG men here, to be focused more on their LIVES & their personal HAPPINESS , regardless of their hair's situation. By the way , happiness comes from WITHIN!
Not due to how we are judged by others!
I KNOW it can be a very hard thing to do,,but it can be DONE.
Even though that man is 46 years old, he still could have been one to have kept his own life 'AT BAY' WAITING AND WAITING for a new revolutionary hair treatment or 'cure' to come to fruition (like a younger guy more than likely would)!
There will be a day in which we will experience that BUT,,NO ONE knows when that will happen!!
We cannot RUIN OUR own lives being in a waiting-phase of existence.
If someone does not accept 'us' for what we are today,,then that someone is NOT WORTHY of 'our' time. Thats the TRUTH.

[Vox]

I have mentioned my Norwood 6 friend who shaves his head quite a few times here in the forum. He is about 46 and had a girlfriend in her early twenties. This guy meets women everywhere he goes. He flirts with women and is pretty overt. It can be at Home Depot, Starbucks or while he's on vacation somewhere. He really knows how to talk to women and has a positive self-confident personality.

Chuck

I don't doubt a second what you say about your friend. But again, it is just an exception to the rule.

As a side note, I have more or less his age and .. baldness, but I would never approach (today) young girls in their early twenties, despite the fact that my physique is still that of a slender young man of their age and often people think that I am the big brother of my ... daughter. For me personally, it simply does not feel right. But, apparently, for other people it is OK.

[Kudu]

Thanks Artista, I just wish I could gain back the time I spent worrying about this myself haha. We have to realize what's important and enjoy life, it really is too short.

I understand how some here may think that being bald is a death sentence, but it really does just vary on the person. Some look great shaved, most look good/normal. It's a socially acceptable thing and you never look as bad as you think you do. Either way, like Artista said we have to enjoy life with whatever were given.

I think if you can't accept a shaved head, go for a hair piece, they are amazing these days done right. Even if there isn't a 'cure' in my lifetime, with some of the progress they are making with hair pieces it may not even matter!

[Follicle Island]

I understand how some here may think that being bald is a death sentence, but it really does just vary on the person. Some look great shaved, most look good/normal. It's a socially acceptable thing and you never look as bad as you think you do. Either way, like Artista said we have to enjoy life with whatever were given.

I think if you can't accept a shaved head, go for a hair piece, they are amazing these days done right. Even if there isn't a 'cure' in my lifetime, with some of the progress they are making with hair pieces it may not even matter!

Too much delusion for one post. Most men look terrible with shaved heads, and it's far beyond from being socially acceptable. If that were the case, then this forum wouldn't exist. Balding men are well aware of the stigma that follows them, I mean, why else would they risk their health by taking a hormone altering pill that has a slew of side effects ? The only thing worse than being bald is being delusional. We live in a very shallow society, where you're judged and ranked solely on your appearance, followed by your personality and talents which come after you made it through the first hoop. If you don't make it through the first hoop, then none of that other crap matters. Being good looking is the biggest advantage one can have. There's nothing more valuable in today's society than your appearance, that's why having hair is so damn important. You're literally toying with your life when you're choosing whether you're going to treat your hair loss or not. Just ask yourself this: "Do I want to live a good life or not?"

[35YrsAfter]

Too much delusion for one post. Most men look terrible with shaved heads, and it's far beyond from being socially acceptable. If that were the case, then this forum wouldn't exist. Balding men are well aware of the stigma that follows them, I mean, why else would they risk their health by taking a hormone altering pill that has a slew of side effects ? The only thing worse than being bald is being delusional. We live in a very shallow society, where you're judged and ranked solely on your appearance, followed by your personality and talents which come after you made it through the first hoop. If you don't make it through the first hoop, then none of that other crap matters. Being good looking is the biggest advantage one can have. There's nothing more valuable in today's society than your appearance, that's why having hair is so damn important. You're literally toying with your life when you're choosing whether you're going to treat your hair loss or not. Just ask yourself this: "Do I want to live a good life or not?"

I agree that most men look better with hair. Most women agree too, but a recent survey indicates that although women believe hair improves a man's looks, the shaved head to them appears more powerful, dominant and masculine. Losing hair is not nearly as crippling as losing an arm, leg or eyesight. I have a friend who is a Norwood 6, shaves his head and honestly doesn't care at all about his hair loss. He of course knows I work at Dr. Cole's office and has no interest whatsoever in doing anything about his hair loss. In a recent photo where he's next to his beautiful girlfriend, he tells me how much he hates the picture because it captured a wider than normal space between two of his teeth. He didn't mention a thing about his bald head. The reality is, hair loss bothers some men far more than it bothers others. I hated losing hair when I was young but it didn't bother my brother too much when he lost hair. He has shaved his head for years, has a steady girl and is doing fine. The only thing hair related worse than a bald head is a botched transplant job. Dr. Cole repairs a lot of those. As I type he's repairing substandard FUE work our patient had done in California. Third repair of this doctor's work we have done in the past couple of years.

35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office - forhair.com - Cole Hair Transplant, 1045 Powers Place, Alpharetta, Georgia 30009 - Phone 678-566-1011 - email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck

[Artista]

Great response Chuck!

Id like to add on a recent life EXAMPLE for everyone to consider:

In the last few years-There is a great woman ARTIST , I believe in the Chicago-land area, who in earlier days has been relatively successful with her artwork.(very talented)
At some point she LOST BOTH of her arms during some type of an accident!
After her recovery time and then went back home, she could have very well fallen into major DEPRESSION & allowed her SADNESS to take over her life and ruin her.
She DIDN'T!
She found a way to LIVE HER LIFE and to ALSO be HAPPY in her life.
She learned to paint and create her artwork again via the use of one of her feet!
(she isn't the only artist to have learned to do that either)
Instead of GIVING UP ON LIFE and career he MOVED FORWARD and made due with what she had available to her.
By the way, her artwork is JUST AS GOOD as it was when she had her hands! Thats the truth.
Most of US artist who were born with that natural art talent also have the innate abilities to create.

Now dont think that because she has a natural artistic talent, that she was able to overcome her loss!

She has moved forward ONLY BECAUSE she did NOT ALLOW sadness and depression to hold her back.
She STAYED POSITIVE---remember this example guys! (and ladies!)

[Kudu]

Too much delusion for one post. Most men look terrible with shaved heads, and it's far beyond from being socially acceptable. If that were the case, then this forum wouldn't exist. Balding men are well aware of the stigma that follows them, I mean, why else would they risk their health by taking a hormone altering pill that has a slew of side effects ? The only thing worse than being bald is being delusional. We live in a very shallow society, where you're judged and ranked solely on your appearance, followed by your personality and talents which come after you made it through the first hoop. If you don't make it through the first hoop, then none of that other crap matters. Being good looking is the biggest advantage one can have. There's nothing more valuable in today's society than your appearance, that's why having hair is so damn important. You're literally toying with your life when you're choosing whether you're going to treat your hair loss or not. Just ask yourself this: "Do I want to live a good life or not?"

I understand what you are saying but I have to disagree about being "delusional". Looks are extremely important in our society unfortunately. Most people do look better with hair but being bald doesn't make you an outcast. I believe it depends on what kind of life you want to live. If you want to work hard and enjoy what is in this world NO ONE can say "no. You're bald." and stop you.
If you wanted to travel the world, become skilled at something you enjoy, or make new friends, being bald WILL NOT change any of those things. If you want to be an obnoxious frat boy, screw 40 different women, and be the exact symbol of the judgemental society we hate then yeah, being bald might ruin your life.

Contrary to the belief on the forums, there are still good people, men and women, who don't care about hair or the lack of it. Those are generally the people worth being around and sometimes you have to look a little harder to find them.

[35YrsAfter]

I understand what you are saying but I have to disagree about being "delusional". Looks are extremely important in our society unfortunately. Most people do look better with hair but being bald doesn't make you an outcast. I believe it depends on what kind of life you want to live. If you want to work hard and enjoy what is in this world NO ONE can say "no. You're bald." and stop you.
If you wanted to travel the world, become skilled at something you enjoy, or make new friends, being bald WILL NOT change any of those things. If you want to be an obnoxious frat boy, screw 40 different women, and be the exact symbol of the judgemental society we hate then yeah, being bald might ruin your life.

Contrary to the belief on the forums, there are still good people, men and women, who don't care about hair or the lack of it. Those are generally the people worth being around and sometimes you have to look a little harder to find them.

I agree.


Chuck

[Notcoolanymore]

Perception varies greatly when it comes to balding depending on your age and life experience. I won't say that Follicle Island, Kudu, 35years, Artista, or even myself are 100% right or wrong. I started losing my hair around the age of 22, but I was in a serious relationship at the time. I wasn't thinking OMG how am I going to pick up young women looking like an old guy. The main problem I had was looking like crap and dealing with an "old man's" problem. I also completed college and have received promotions at work while having a buzz cut and receding hairline, so I didn't experience any discrimination due to my hair loss.

Looking back though, I could only imagine how it would have been like to be a young norwood trying to meet the best looking women. Trying to compete with guys with a full head of hair. We might not like to admit it but looks are always important. They may not be a deal breaker as we age, but I think they are important to "get your foot in the door". If I look back to when I was in my late teens and twenties it was mostly about looks. Come to think of it, the GF I did get when I was young was mostly due to my looks as I had ZERO game. If I didn't have a girlfriend at that time and I had to be on the dating scene, who knows how I would have viewed the world if some stupid girl turned me down because of my hair. Same thing goes for promotions at work, what if I didn't get them?

[Illusion]

Perception varies greatly when it comes to balding depending on your age and life experience. I won't say that Follicle Island, Kudu, 35years, Artista, or even myself are 100% right or wrong. I started losing my hair around the age of 22, but I was in a serious relationship at the time. I wasn't thinking OMG how am I going to pick up young women looking like an old guy. The main problem I had was looking like crap and dealing with an "old man's" problem. I also completed college and have received promotions at work while having a buzz cut and receding hairline, so I didn't experience any discrimination due to my hair loss.

Looking back though, I could only imagine how it would have been like to be a young norwood trying to meet the best looking women. Trying to compete with guys with a full head of hair. We might not like to admit it but looks are always important. They may not be a deal breaker as we age, but I think they are important to "get your foot in the door". If I look back to when I was in my late teens and twenties it was mostly about looks. Come to think of it, the GF I did get when I was young was mostly due to my looks as I had ZERO game. If I didn't have a girlfriend at that time and I had to be on the dating scene, who knows how I would have viewed the world if some stupid girl turned me down because of my hair. Same thing goes for promotions at work, what if I didn't get them?

Regarding the bolded part, I think this is one of the main reasons why younger people care so much more about hair loss than relatively older ones (it's hard to draw a line but let's say 35+). Granted, there will be "older" people that care about hair loss and occasionally there will be adolescents that don't care a lot about their hair loss, but I think it's true for most people.

For me personally this is one of the main reasons why I stress about future treatments taking a long time to come out. By the time they're available to the public, I'll be a lot older and it might be too late by then - not even hair loss wise, but by then I might have reached an age at which hair loss has become far less important than it used to be in my late teens and in my twenties.


That brings me to the following question to other young hair loss sufferers: Do you guys also think "I just want to keep a good head of hair until I am [insert age here], if I could do that it would be good enough for me" pretty often? It's pretty much the mentality I live by on a day to day basis regarding hair loss.

[Kudu]

I'm not saying that hair loss is not a problem, if it wasn't I wouldn't be here. It sucks, but I refuse to let one thing ruin my life. Is it more challenging to find a girl? Most certainly, and you lose some opportunities because they won't give you a chance. Being bitter and depressed only makes you that much more unattractive though, and the fact is some girls still don't care about hair that much. So for me personally I'm going to try to enjoy my time instead of acting like a victim of society.

Honestly I would love to keep my hair the way it is through my twenties, Illusion. Ive managed to make a really thick NW3 look good and add to my character, however, I plan to pick back up on treatments after I recover from a surgery (which is tomorrow) so we'll see what happens.

[Alex88]

sorry to hear about this dude

i dont know if this is gonna help you but here's my recent social experiment i did quite a few days ago - to put it shortly : i put up a wig,a suit and a tie,took a train, and a ticket for another city where nobody knew me.

Guess what? i had pretty girls coming asking for my telephone number, ****ed three or four in a couple of weeks and had two successful job interviews. Most of the guys will tell you that is about confidence and whatever,but actually is not. I tried to do the same thing again in another place and i didn't had the same results.

High confidence + hair = you're a young looking successful person.

High confidence - hair = you're a nice guy,but not sexy enough,not young enough and not reliable enough. You look old. And if you're too confident you look like a pretentious creep.Unless you have a bead and big muscles.

The world is all about your appearance.
That's it.

the only margin of doubt is that i ****ed still a girl that was so-so instead than really pretty : she find me sexy aside of the ugly looking bald head.
and i can conclude - girls that **** bald guys have most of times but not always have lower standards or a realistic approach to life,and those not even looking you because of baldness are just sluts. You,my friend,****ed the wrong type of girl not vice versa.

Try a wig,shave your head and stay strong. Once you realize that most of people is ****ed in the head about the way you look,you just have to fight fire with fire.

Hope it helps

[baldozer]

sorry to hear about this dude

i dont know if this is gonna help you but here's my recent social experiment i did quite a few days ago - to put it shortly : i put up a wig,a suit and a tie,took a train, and a ticket for another city where nobody knew me.

Guess what? i had pretty girls coming asking for my telephone number, ****ed three or four in a couple of weeks and had two successful job interviews. Most of the guys will tell you that is about confidence and whatever,but actually is not. I tried to do the same thing again in another place and i didn't had the same results.

High confidence + hair = you're a young looking successful person.

High confidence - hair = you're a nice guy,but not sexy enough,not young enough and not reliable enough. You look old. And if you're too confident you look like a pretentious creep.Unless you have a bead and big muscles.

The world is all about your appearance.
That's it.

the only margin of doubt is that i ****ed still a girl that was so-so instead than really pretty : she find me sexy aside of the ugly looking bald head.
and i can conclude - girls that **** bald guys have most of times but not always have lower standards or a realistic approach to life,and those not even looking you because of baldness are just sluts. You,my friend,****ed the wrong type of girl not vice versa.

Try a wig,shave your head and stay strong. Once you realize that most of people is ****ed in the head about the way you look,you just have to fight fire with fire.

Hope it helps

Very interesting experiment! And I agree with you about fighting fire with fire.

[Jasari]

Okay, so I've been dating this really pretty blonde haired, blue eyed girl for a few months and we had been friends before for about a year. I hate smug assholes so I'm not trying to brag, but I'd like to say that I'm a fairly interesting guy. Also not unattractive other than my hair really. I'm working toward a pilots license and an EMT certification, I've got a scuba certification, and I'm a pretty decent guitar player. I go and see a lot of small time concerts and bands on the weekend in the city I live close to, and I do a lot of camping and kayaking trips in the summer. Yet, the bitch ditches me for a dude who is kind of fat, doesn't have a job or direction in life, and only cares about his car and his XBox. Yet, he has hair, and she told me she wished I could do something about my hair but I told her there was only so much I could do. I'm sure that wasn't the only factor but damn guys I treated her like an angel. Way better than I should have I guess. Whatever, I think she'll regret it. Sorry for the rant guys but why do so many people judge on looks alone? Even if it's just a couple of flaws?

I'm going to disregard the majority of what you have said & zone in on one comment. "I treated her like an angel". This isn't the forum to go in depth on this, but suffice to say I doubt hair was even slightly the problem.

There are a few better sites to post your story to online. Just search 'red pill' on google & I'm sure you'll stumble across something that appeals to you.

[Jasari]

I'm not saying that hair loss is not a problem, if it wasn't I wouldn't be here. It sucks, but I refuse to let one thing ruin my life. Is it more challenging to find a girl? Most certainly, and you lose some opportunities because they won't give you a chance. Being bitter and depressed only makes you that much more unattractive though, and the fact is some girls still don't care about hair that much. So for me personally I'm going to try to enjoy my time instead of acting like a victim of society.

Honestly I would love to keep my hair the way it is through my twenties, Illusion. Ive managed to make a really thick NW3 look good and add to my character, however, I plan to pick back up on treatments after I recover from a surgery (which is tomorrow) so we'll see what happens.

At the end of the day hair is but 1 attribute that makes up how attractive a face looks. If looks are rated on a scale of 1-10; Hair loss [Depending on how far it's progressed can probably take up to a point away from your looks.

In that regard it sucks but it isn't the end of the world. You can gain 'points' elsewhere. Build muscle, lose body fat, whiten your teeth, improve your charm etc etc.

Most people are nowhere near their potential as a person [Both physically & intellectually]. Perhaps the best way to view hair loss is as a wake-up call. Use it to force yourself into action & you maybe be able to become more attractive than you may have ever been with hair [Without hair-loss would there be the same motivation for self improvement?].