Dealing with breakup, but thinking of hair

[Scoots]

My girlfriend of about 10 months and I broke up this weekend, and I am pretty crushed. It know it wouldn't have worked out long term because she is moving several states away and our feelings just aren't strong enough to make it work, but it still hurts big time.

Besides dealing with the turmoil of a breakup, I can't help but continue to obsess about my hairloss. It was always comforting to know that she truly didn't care (or so she said), which helped ease the constant negative thoughts I had about my balding scalp.

Just hours after the breakup I am thinking a lot about my hair...the thought of being single again with an ever-balding scalp terrifies me. It truly makes me feel like there is an expiration date for me for finding an attractive, decent girl. If anyone has similar thoughts or any advice, it would be much appreciated.

[Notcoolanymore]

Scoots,

I feel your pain. I am currently going through my own fair share of relationship issues right now so I can relate. This is your thread though, so I wont get into my own problems and high jack your thread.

Some questions that I am sure others will ask: Your age? How bad is your hair loss? Are your treating with anything? If so how long, and how are you responding?

If you just started losing hair, I would strongly recommend that you start treating asap. I am sure you know about what is currently available, if not you are in the right place.

Lastly, just because you are losing your hair doesn't mean you have to settle for somebody below par(to put it nicely). Hair definitely has an effect on your looks, I am not going to try to convince you it doesn't. There are other factors that are in your control that you can use in your favor: your physique, style, finances, personality, etc. Work on those and you will put yourself in a much better position to attract the type of girl that you want.

[35YrsAfter]

My girlfriend of about 10 months and I broke up this weekend, and I am pretty crushed. It know it wouldn't have worked out long term because she is moving several states away and our feelings just aren't strong enough to make it work, but it still hurts big time.

Besides dealing with the turmoil of a breakup, I can't help but continue to obsess about my hairloss. It was always comforting to know that she truly didn't care (or so she said), which helped ease the constant negative thoughts I had about my balding scalp.

Just hours after the breakup I am thinking a lot about my hair...the thought of being single again with an ever-balding scalp terrifies me. It truly makes me feel like there is an expiration date for me for finding an attractive, decent girl. If anyone has similar thoughts or any advice, it would be much appreciated.

A bad hair transplant is worse than natural hair loss and baldness. I made the most of my bad hair transplant years ago and met the most wonderful woman who has been my wife for just short of 25 years. Women see things very differently than men. Breakups are depressing. I have been through several and looking back, those women were just not right for me and would have given me a life of trouble. Peace should dominate a relationship, not conflict and stress.

IMO, you should do as much as possible to maintain your hair. There are a lot more options available today so try to stay positive. Intense workouts helped me through the worst of it. Endorphins can "wash" away some of the pain from a breakup and of course working out, helps to move your life in a positive direction.

35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office
Cole Hair Transplant
1070 Powers Place
Alpharetta, Georgia 30009
Phone 678-566-1011
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice

[Buster]

I've gone through the same situation. I was in a long term relationship and when we separated I was excited at the idea of meeting new girls, but then I started becoming obsessed with my hair, because you want to look your best when you're out there. One thing that I'd recommend is to start working out. For me, I started getting excited about the transformation of my body, and didn't think about my hair quite as much.

[fred970]

Try to become a funnier and more interesting person. Cultivate yourself, it can truly do wonders to improve your chances with women.

I would not recommend bodybuilding, just try to remain fit. Girls keep telling me how muscles look unattractive.

A cousin of mine tried to compensate for his ugliness by working out, now he can't stop. He's on steroids and just want to get bigger and bigger. Now he looks like a freak.

[Notcoolanymore]

Try to become a funnier and more interesting person. Cultivate yourself, it can truly do wonders to improve your chances with women.

I would not recommend bodybuilding, just try to remain fit. Girls keep telling me how muscles look unattractive.

A cousin of mine tried to compensate for his ugliness by working out, now he can't stop. He's on steroids and just want to get bigger and bigger. Now he looks like a freak.

I always thought women want a guy with at least some muscle tone. I don't mean the big body builder type, but at least somebody that is cut. I guess you can get away with not working out and just being thin when you are young, but when you get older it doesn't look very good.

[35YrsAfter]

I always thought women want a guy with at least some muscle tone. I don't mean the big body builder type, but at least somebody that is cut. I guess you can get away with not working out and just being thin when you are young, but when you get older it doesn't look very good.

Nearly all women will prefer the bodybuilder when the alternative is the dude with a beer belly.

[fred970]

Being thin is genetic for some. They can't do much to change it with diet or bodybuilding.

Just being thin/fit is good, any gain beyond that is just useless, especially in my country where it rains 75% of the time.

It's easier, cheaper and more productive to become more interesting than to dedicate your life to bodybuilding which is insanely expensive, probably one the most expensive hobbies there is: eating for 3 people, the protein shakes/supplements, the gym, the discipline, the time needed.

People don't know the harm they could cause when they just thow "Just work out and the ladies will love you! You don't want to or your say you can't? You're lazy!"

[35YrsAfter]

Being thin is genetic for some. They can't do much to change it with diet or bodybuilding.

Just being thin/fit is good, any gain beyond that is just useless, especially in my country where it rains 75% of the time.

Mt. Waialeale on the Hawaiian island of Kauai in some years rains 99% of the time. Are you in the UK?

[clandestine]

Being thin is genetic for some. They can't do much to change it with diet or bodybuilding.

Just being thin/fit is good, any gain beyond that is just useless, especially in my country where it rains 75% of the time.

It's easier, cheaper and more productive to become more interesting than to dedicate your life to bodybuilding which is insanely expensive, probably one the most expensive hobbies there is: eating for 3 people, the protein shakes/supplements, the gym, the discipline, the time needed.

People don't know the harm they could cause when they just thow "Just work out and the ladies will love you! You don't want to or your say you can't? You're lazy!"

You're hilarious, though.

Bald and skinny > Bald and muscles?
Sorry, not a chance.

[Notcoolanymore]

It's easier, cheaper and more productive to become more interesting than to dedicate your life to bodybuilding which is insanely expensive, probably one the most expensive hobbies there is: eating for 3 people, the protein shakes/supplements, the gym, the discipline, the time needed.

People don't know the harm they could cause when they just thow "Just work out and the ladies will love you! You don't want to or your say you can't? You're lazy!"

Working out is important for everybody. It gets even more important as you get older. There is a difference between being in good shape and being "huge". You can be in pretty good shape working out for 1 - 1.5hrs, 4 - 5 days a week with a good diet. Gyms aren't that expensive and you don't need supplements either. You really don't even need to join a gym to get decent muscle tone. I have been slim my entire life. At 37 if I didn't work out, I would look thin and weak, not a good look. Being thin and out of shape isn't as bad as fat and out of shape, but it doesn't look all that great either.

[fred970]

I agree being muscular is better, but I'm also aware that being muscular or well built is almost 100% genetics. The rare people I know who are working out (without steroids) and look good, looked good and had a six-pack even before they started working out.

I can't have a six-pack for example, with all the working out in the world, I have belly fat that was still there when I dropped at 60 kg (I suffered from a form of anorexia for a brief time) for 1m 90. It is backed up by science that you can't target fat-loss. The only way I'd be able to have a visible six-pack is through liposuction.

I'm sick of all this working out wisdom and bro-science I read on internet forums. This "working out" philosophy is an American product in my opinion. People don't worship bodybuilding here in Europe.

I don't work out, none of my friends do, no one in my family does. Does that mean they are slobs who are all out of shape? Absolutely not.

[Notcoolanymore]

This "working out" philosophy is an American product in my opinion. People don't worship bodybuilding here in Europe.

Fred, c'mon man, stop being lazy:

[fred970]

I know working out will provide no benefits at all for me, so I don't waste my time doing it, then it means I'm lazy? Weird logic. I may be lazy physically, but certainly not intellectually.

Me going to the gym is like Sheldon Cooper going to the gym. Ridiculous.

Yeah I know what you're going to say: "You're lazy! Jim Parsons could become as muscular as Schwarzenegger if he worked out!"

[Notcoolanymore]

I know working out will provide no benefits at all for me, so I don't waste my time doing it, then it means I'm lazy? Weird logic.

Sorry, It's difficult communicating tone on a message forum. It was a joke. Working out like everything else is a personal choice. I personally do it because it makes me feel better about myself to be in somewhat good shape. It also helps with relieve stress, believe it or not.