FredtheBelgian's FUE - 2000 grafts with Dr. De Reys - 24 Years Old NW5 from DPA

[JayM]

hey dude I'm not going to argue what Fred has said in other posts. And sure your first post was respectful to you, but it felt like you kind of knew the answer anyway. Like I said we all know why Fred got the work done and obviously from saying he was ok with going bald to getting HT because he was actually bald it just hit him more than he expected as he has said.

Seriously this isn't about defending Fred. I'm genuinely saying that you seemed annoyed that you perceived that Fred looked down on bald people, that's why he got the HT and you felt like that's wrong and of course its wrong to look down on anyone. Which is why I'm saying don't be a hypocrite now man and look down on people who couldn't handle being bald and the social experiences they went through. It would have just been respectful to message him personally and say look man, why did you get this done? Why do you think a #2 cut looks better than no hair. I don't think this looks any better than being bald or looks worth the money ect.

I'm saying if I had a thread like this and hadn't had the HT done yet, I would appreciate it behond words on how you overcame losing your hair. In fact I would love to hear it, in complete detail and how I could maybe change my life and how I perceive things to be able to. I have overcome a lot of things in my life as well, many of these things I do perceive as harder than losing hair. But I can compress those feelings, I can hide them away and lose them in my mind. But for me I see hairloss everyday and that is how it affects me, because I am strong enough to supress things but if I see it then its just a reminder, if you get that?

[BeaveCake]

BeaveCake you got annoyed because you think fred sees bald people as less? But now you are blatently saying that people who can't deal with being bald are weak, pathetic and need to grow balls?! WHY is it ok for you to look down on someone who couldn't handle losing his hair? Aren't you just as bad as him then? Why would you think its ok to think he is a lesser person?! You may be "strong" in dealing with hair loss and oh how much you have been through, woop, everyone has been through stuff get over it, it doesn't make you special, it certainly doesn't give you the right to talk down to someone. You know what I believe makes someone strong? The ability to live everyday and no matter what your opinions are, your prejudices are or what hardships you are going through, you accept everyone how they are, try to make them happy and be there for them. "people are soft now and Fred is a good example of that". Wow just wow.

So personally yeh I know im weak, because I let things get to me and I can hurt people. You didn't come here to try and help anyone. You came to preach. You know exactly why Fred got the surgery, I know why, everyone does. Offer him some advice on how you over came it! Message him personally or whatever. There really isn't a right or wrong way to look at hairloss but everyone knows their rights and wrongs on how to treat people and I'm fed up of every single thread I have subscribed to ending up like this.

My first post was respectful , then I was called foolish, delusion and immature and when I respond by telling the truth which yes, I believe people in general are weaker in this age, and no I don't think hairloss should destroy your life, I'm attacked saying I'm such an awful person for calling someone who can't handle something weak, but no one cares he calls people delusional. I've seen this guy post on positive threads they are wrong but nobody cares because pity. Not hold to everything I said, people need to become stronger period. I posted giving an example that life can be fine without hair, not belittling at all and I was jumped down my throat saying I'm delusional.

So bottom line, someone who lost it because of hair, tells others with positive experiences nuts because he didn't have it that way and feels bad about himself, and thinks he speaks for a whole sex when he says women don't like bald guys-no a man who does all that is weak and whining to me. Call me a monster or over the top, I think it's weak. But like he said I'm supposedly delusional so take it with a grain if salt. This isn't a support forum it's a pity forum.

[JayM]

BeaveCake you got annoyed because you think fred sees bald people as less? But now you are blatently saying that people who can't deal with being bald are weak, pathetic and need to grow balls?! WHY is it ok for you to look down on someone who couldn't handle losing his hair? Aren't you just as bad as him then? Why would you think its ok to think he is a lesser person?! You may be "strong" in dealing with hair loss and oh how much you have been through, woop, everyone has been through stuff get over it, it doesn't make you special, it certainly doesn't give you the right to talk down to someone. You know what I believe makes someone strong? The ability to live everyday and no matter what your opinions are, your prejudices are or what hardships you are going through, you accept everyone how they are, try to make them happy and be there for them. "people are soft now and Fred is a good example of that". Wow just wow.

So personally yeh I know im weak, because I let things get to me and I can hurt people. You didn't come here to try and help anyone. You came to preach. You know exactly why Fred got the surgery, I know why, everyone does. Offer him some advice on how you over came it! Message him personally or whatever. There really isn't a right or wrong way to look at hairloss but everyone knows their rights and wrongs on how to treat people and I'm fed up of every single thread I have subscribed to ending up like this.

[BeaveCake]

Breaking up with a spouse is much worse than hair loss TO YOU. That's my point. Don't judge others because they can't get through something you did. It took me almost 52 years to stop judging others, not understanding how they could do this or that or feel this way or that way. Something may send you over the edge someday that someone else would have been able to get through. And I even took an antidepressant for a short time because this hair loss is destroying me (didn't help obviously). My aunt wore a wig for many years and enjoyed life to the fullest. That is not me. Sorry. BeaveCake, you will see what you perceive as weakness differently with age.

No I don't, my family was military, we were taught that worth needs to be proven and while things are different to everyone yes that doesn't make someone strong for overcoming something like hairloss my father and family all held the same beliefs I do, prove your worth, and when things come up deal with it or get left behind. When I struggled as a child even I was told to suck it up and then if I whined I had to run. People are soft now and Fred is a good example of that. We all have things if we lost we'd suffer, but if it's your hair destroying your life then you didn't have much if one to begin with.

[Joan]

Breaking up with a spouse is much worse than hair loss TO YOU. That's my point. Don't judge others because they can't get through something you did. It took me almost 52 years to stop judging others, not understanding how they could do this or that or feel this way or that way. Something may send you over the edge someday that someone else would have been able to get through. And I even took an antidepressant for a short time because this hair loss is destroying me (didn't help obviously). My aunt wore a wig for many years and enjoyed life to the fullest. That is not me. Sorry. BeaveCake, you will see what you perceive as weakness differently with age.

[BeaveCake]

BeaveCake, calling Fred weak is hitting below the belt. I almost had a nervous breakdown when my ex-husband left me, so I must be weak too and so must everyone else in mental wards who've had breakdowns. Kudos to you for handling all the sh*t life threw at you, but just because some of us suffer depression, need meds--or a hair transplant--or whatever to help us mentally doesn't mean we are weak. It's not our choice to be affected so deeply by our appearance (or anything else). You and Fred can go round and round, and some of us will relate to Fred, others to you and some a little bit to both. Don't you think Fred would have rather looked at his bald head in the mirror and said, "I don't give a crap"? He is not you. Fred pulled himself out of a dark hole, and I think that took a tremendous amount of strength.

My first post was respectful until he told me I was delusional and wrong way of thinking, so I told him the truth, and breaking up with a spouse is much worse than hairloss. Like I said my mom wanted help but she lost her husband to cancer and that is way worse than hair.

[Joan]

BeaveCake, calling Fred weak is hitting below the belt. I almost had a nervous breakdown when my ex-husband left me, so I must be weak too and so must everyone else in mental wards who've had breakdowns. Kudos to you for handling all the sh*t life threw at you, but just because some of us suffer depression, need meds--or a hair transplant--or whatever to help us mentally doesn't mean we are weak. It's not our choice to be affected so deeply by our appearance (or anything else). You and Fred can go round and round, and some of us will relate to Fred, others to you and some a little bit to both. Don't you think Fred would have rather looked at his bald head in the mirror and said, "I don't give a crap"? He is not you. Fred pulled himself out of a dark hole, and I think that took a tremendous amount of strength.

[BeaveCake]

Hair loss is not real then? I must have imagined all the abused I've been subjected to for being bald?

You don't even want to believe that I'm going to graduate? Because I'm "weak"? Whatever that means.

If anything, you're the one getting carried away here. Why do you have to become so emotional about this?

It shows that you care. And you can't stand that someone is telling you that being bald is a big deal, probably because you're bald now and you're starting to see clues that it's not going to be a walk in the park.

But you don't want to see it, it would shatter the little fantasy world you've created for yourself, where bald men are not turned down by the majority of women simply for being bald.

Dude you don't need hair you need balls, I got pissed because you said it wasn't real, that it was an illusion people still like me. You need to back on some pills.

[fred970]

Hair loss is not real then? I must have imagined all the abused I've been subjected to for being bald?

You don't even want to believe that I'm going to graduate? Because I'm "weak"? Whatever that means.

If anything, you're the one getting carried away here. Why do you have to become so emotional about this?

It shows that you care. And you can't stand that someone is telling you that being bald is a big deal, probably because you're bald now and you're starting to see clues that it's not going to be a walk in the park.

But you don't want to see it, it would shatter the little fantasy world you've created for yourself, where bald men are not turned down by the majority of women simply for being bald.

[BeaveCake]

Where did I say I didn't believe you again? I believe you. That's not the problem here.

We don't react the same way to the misfortunes that happen to us. Losing my hair was a very traumatic experience to me. Understand that.

You're the one acting childish and intolerant here, as you can't put yourself in my shoes or the shoes of maybe 99% of hair loss sufferers on this forum.

Good for you if you can live in a world full of unicorns and where people don't look down on baldness. If this delusion helps you go through life, by all means, cling to it!

I am living a "successful life" by the way, before, during and after I fixed my hair loss. Despite all that happened to me because of my hair loss, I've still accomplished a lot.

I'm finishing my master's degree next month (I hope), I have a high-paying job even though I haven't graduated, I own five websites, I've had a girlfriend for 7 months (so I met her when my hair transplant was barely growing) and have no trouble attracting women, I became a decent musician (music helped me a lot in the dark times), I traveled a lot with my friends and my girlfriend.

By the way, today, it's been 3 years since I've popped my last psychiatric pill. 3 years I've not suffered from depression, panic attacks or psychosis at all.

Some health professional, relatives and forum members it seems wanted to make me believe that I was born crazy or something. It seems I've proved them wrong.

Hair loss is a very serious matter, you shouldn't look down on people who suffer a great deal of pain because of it. Maybe you'll get it when you get older and more mature.

I am mature, I'm not saying others live in a unicorn world and you can be a graduate and even a doctor or successful and be weak. Which you are. I lost a father young, my mom just about went off the deep end (from something real not hairloss) and I was on my own, I signed on for Ranger school (one of the toughest military infantry groups the US has) and made it through despite the physical and mental tests they have, only to be told after it all I couldn't do it because a family member had passed (our military won't take the last young male carrying a name) they said I could still do reserves or something because it wouldn't run as much risk given I was last with my name. but I turned it all down, if I wasn't doing something real on the lines I didn't want it.

After that all the hair began falling from the exhaustion of two years of high stress from family death mom having a hard time and grueling physical tests for over 6 months. That's when I shaved. Now I'm doing tandem skydiving, since I got licensed after the I left training (a lot easier to jump when guys are screaming at you and throwing you out) so I am mature for my age, lived more and handled more than you ever could, and I really don't understand you're disrespect to me and other bald guys. Truthfully I'm tired of it, if someone actually said this to me in real life I would have knocked teeth out it's how I was raised. Have fun on baldtruthtalk, there are some decent people researching treatments and conditions on here but mostly it's a huge pity party. I'd say Godbless but you probably don't believe because how could a God make something as horrible as balding?

[fred970]

So just to clarify I left a respectful post of actual events in my personal life, and it's not real? Well I won't waste my breath on someone like you then and the respectfulness comes off here, hairloss isn't the crappiest thing in your 20's it's not, you were weak enough to let it destroy you and others took advantage of the state you were/are in. Hair isn't going to solve it all. People will call me out I'm sure but someone needed to tell you this.

Whether you want to accept it or not me and other guys who are bald in early or even before 20's from whatever reasons are still living successful lives, only hassle is a little more prone to sunburn. We are happy and don't need your approval that it's 'real'

And I'm not grounded in reality? From the guy who let hair actually drive him nuts? I think you've some serious problems still.

Where did I say I didn't believe you again? I believe you. That's not the problem here.

We don't react the same way to the misfortunes that happen to us. Losing my hair was a very traumatic experience to me. Understand that.

You're the one acting childish and intolerant here, as you can't put yourself in my shoes or the shoes of maybe 99% of hair loss sufferers on this forum.

Good for you if you can live in a world full of unicorns and where people don't look down on baldness. If this delusion helps you go through life, by all means, cling to it!

I am living a "successful life" by the way, before, during and after I fixed my hair loss. Despite all that happened to me because of my hair loss, I've still accomplished a lot.

I'm finishing my master's degree next month (I hope), I have a high-paying job even though I haven't graduated, I own five websites, I've had a girlfriend for 7 months (so I met her when my hair transplant was barely growing) and have no trouble attracting women, I became a decent musician (music helped me a lot in the dark times), I traveled a lot with my friends and my girlfriend.

By the way, today, it's been 3 years since I've popped my last psychiatric pill. 3 years I've not suffered from depression, panic attacks or psychosis at all.

Some health professional, relatives and forum members it seems wanted to make me believe that I was born crazy or something. It seems I've proved them wrong.

Hair loss is a very serious matter, you shouldn't look down on people who suffer a great deal of pain because of it. Maybe you'll get it when you get older and more mature.

[BeaveCake]

I appreciate the effort but what you've just written will not help me or anyone here who is anchored in reality.

Being bald is one of the crappiest situation ever when you're in your 20's. And there is no other way to look at it.

I could say I've never had any problems too.

I've had a lot of girlfriends while completely bald. But it didn't stop these girls from treating me poorly or from seeing me as "less than".

So just to clarify I left a respectful post of actual events in my personal life, and it's not real? Well I won't waste my breath on someone like you then and the respectfulness comes off here, hairloss isn't the crappiest thing in your 20's it's not, you were weak enough to let it destroy you and others took advantage of the state you were/are in. Hair isn't going to solve it all. People will call me out I'm sure but someone needed to tell you this.

Whether you want to accept it or not me and other guys who are bald in early or even before 20's from whatever reasons are still living successful lives, only hassle is a little more prone to sunburn. We are happy and don't need your approval that it's 'real'

And I'm not grounded in reality? From the guy who let hair actually drive him nuts? I think you've some serious problems still.

[fred970]

I'm not male pattern but it's a scalp confined alopecia, I am bald, skinhead bald, like pit bull or howie Mandell and it's never stopped me, I look good shaved and even if you look at another thread I started recently, (the last one given the craziness on this site) I was asked by a very attractive girl to go to her prom, when I got there we had a good time I was one of the more talked to ones there, (wasn't even the school I used to attend) and her friend started hitting on me and then she got jealous. Anyway long story short this very attractive 16 nearly 17 year old girl got with me after that night. When she asked about the hair when we first met I was honest told her it wasn't coming back if it did it'd be patchy, and she admitted it wasn't her preference but said 'it's just hair though I like the rest of you who gives a ****?' So the whole young women don't like bald guys was wrong for me, I don't have hair, for the past couple years I've had many different diagnoses of why I lost some but recently a specialist did tell me it was a scalp confined alopecia brought on from exhaustion. However it is permanent and the shaved skinhead is the only route. So it's bald before you say it's not true baldness. But I just never minded it. I have an attractive young girlfriend who's sweet, the few people who've said anything I'm quick with a harsher comeback, and I know everyone gets ridiculed for something.

I really do believe a lot of it with you or other guys is you view bald guys as less and therefor you fall under your own spell. It's just hair, true maybe I pull off cue ball better than some but I've never had an issue. You said yourself that you suffered from psychosis from it and that proves how much this controls you, so maybe you do need some extra help to realize it's not that bad. Maybe doc Phil, who went bald before 21 also. (Actually did look it up) but you act like people hate bald guys, I've never seen that happen, I've seen guys trying to repair the loss or cover it get mocked, but not guys deal with it or take it all off.

I know 3 bald guys who were shaved bald at 20, 1 was premature balding why he shaved. He got married last year to a gorgeous 25 year old, another had a scalp condition, married a very attractive girl in her twenties, the last didn't rate so well with women but he was a slob who was fat and that was the reason why. So I'm not buying society hates bald men, if you're young with a horseshoe yeah girls won't like it, but shaved skinhead is just another style now. I think a lot of people on this site do and that's why they have such an issue with just accepting and shaving. So no you're not like me, in all the pics I've seen you were never fully shaven, and if you let it get you so bad to the point it affected the mind that awfully then we really aren't alike. I've seen people die, had a chute malfunction once in a skydiving course and much more stressful times than losing hair. Its just hair, how you handle it is key. It matters some but not as much as these sites make it.

I appreciate the effort but what you've just written will not help me or anyone here who is anchored in reality.

Being bald is one of the crappiest situation ever when you're in your 20's. And there is no other way to look at it.

I could say I've never had any problems too.

I've had a lot of girlfriends while completely bald. But it didn't stop these girls from treating me poorly or from seeing me as "less than".

[BeaveCake]

I was like you at your age. I didn't think it would be a big problem, but when you actually turn bald, people will treat you like crap for it, especially women.

That's just how it is, and that's the main reason I've done this. Just getting out of the bald category has allowed me to live the life of a normal 25 year old again.

The fact you called it the bald category proves the point you think that way. I'm not male pattern but it's a scalp confined alopecia, I am bald, skinhead bald, like pit bull or howie Mandell and it's never stopped me, I look good shaved and even if you look at another thread I started recently, (the last one given the craziness on this site) I was asked by a very attractive girl to go to her prom, when I got there we had a good time I was one of the more talked to ones there, (wasn't even the school I used to attend) and her friend started hitting on me and then she got jealous. Anyway long story short this very attractive 16 nearly 17 year old girl got with me after that night. When she asked about the hair when we first met I was honest told her it wasn't coming back if it did it'd be patchy, and she admitted it wasn't her preference but said 'it's just hair though I like the rest of you who gives a ****?' So the whole young women don't like bald guys was wrong for me, I don't have hair, for the past couple years I've had many different diagnoses of why I lost some but recently a specialist did tell me it was a scalp confined alopecia brought on from exhaustion. However it is permanent and the shaved skinhead is the only route. So it's bald before you say it's not true baldness. But I just never minded it. I have an attractive young girlfriend who's sweet, the few people who've said anything I'm quick with a harsher comeback, and I know everyone gets ridiculed for something.

I really do believe a lot of it with you or other guys is you view bald guys as less and therefor you fall under your own spell. It's just hair, true maybe I pull off cue ball better than some but I've never had an issue. You said yourself that you suffered from psychosis from it and that proves how much this controls you, so maybe you do need some extra help to realize it's not that bad. Maybe doc Phil, who went bald before 21 also. (Actually did look it up) but you act like people hate bald guys, I've never seen that happen, I've seen guys trying to repair the loss or cover it get mocked, but not guys deal with it or take it all off.

I know 3 bald guys who were shaved bald at 20, 1 was premature balding why he shaved. He got married last year to a gorgeous 25 year old, another had a scalp condition, married a very attractive girl in her twenties, the last didn't rate so well with women but he was a slob who was fat and that was the reason why. So I'm not buying society hates bald men, if you're young with a horseshoe yeah girls won't like it, but shaved skinhead is just another style now. I think a lot of people on this site do have something against bald guys and that's why they have such an issue with just accepting and shaving. So no you're not like me, in all the pics I've seen you were never fully shaven, and if you let it get you so bad to the point it affected the mind that awfully then we really aren't alike. I've seen people die, had a chute malfunction once in a skydiving course and much more stressful times than losing hair. Its just hair, how you handle it is key. It matters some but not as much as these sites make it.

[fred970]

As a young guy who does shave his head I have to ask, do you view men who shave with disdain or less than with a full head. I'm trying to figure out how you could be fine with your life without hair yet still want something like this. I'm only 19 but my life has been very successful skinhead bald the past year in love life, school life, all of it, so it doesn't affect me and I never had serious mental anguish from it. I wouldn't consider something like this, I'm curious as to why it became such a problem if you said it wasn't such an issue and you were okay without.

I was like you at your age. I didn't think it would be a big problem, but when you actually turn bald, people will treat you like crap for it, especially women.

That's just how it is, and that's the main reason I've done this. Just getting out of the bald category has allowed me to live the life of a normal 25 year old again.