View Full Version : Futile

03-28-2009, 06:09 PM
HI there

I am a 31 year old male from the UK.
I have been suffering from hair loss for the last few years. I currently have serious recession, diffuse thinning throughout and a very thin crown. This whole episode is, what can only be described as, a nightmare. I have spent tons of cash on medication including regaine and propecia -- none of which have done anything.

I think that i have developed an obsession with this and my entire life revolves around the hair, or lack of hair, on my head. Some days I just cant face getting up and everything (AND I MEAN EVERYTHING) feels like a total chore. Hair loss has changed my whole personality. I used to be happy and laid back but now I am that ass hole with a chip on his shoulder who snaps at everyone.

The people close to me are fed up and have not been very supportive. They just cant seem to understand why this bothers me so much and at one point my parents threatened to have me locked up in a mental hospital (no joke).

To make things even worse, the job that I do involves me to stand up in front of 30 kids at a time (teacher) when all i want to do is hide the shame on my head. I endure taunts of baldy on a regular basis and i could just cry.

Sorry to go on but i am at the end of my tether and do not know what to do next. How is it possible that hair can ruin ones life so much? I feel that the powers that be do not attach enough understanding to this disease and there should be more resources thrown at it in a bid to end the suffering.

Thank you for listening.

03-28-2009, 07:39 PM
Hey Mark-1,

Welcome to the BaldTruthTalk forum - the one place in the world where others can truly empathize with the feelings of desperation and helplessness that hair loss unfortunately brings to us. If you haven't yet, tune into The Bald Truth talk radio show. It's on Sunday nites, 5pm to 7pm US Pacific Time, on XM radio channel 152, or you can watch it live via the Internet on www.thebaldtruth.com or www.stickam.com.

Spencer Kobren is the host of the show, and leads the charge in giving hair loss sufferers a candid and loud voice; it's purely empathetic to the woes of hair loss sufferers and unapologetic in its rightfully fierce stance against the BS and nonsense that plagues the industry and preys on our desperation and vulnerability. I'll share with you that I found the show when I was at the lowest point of my desperation with my hair loss, and, since then, I've turned my attitude around. Listening to the show is therapeutic for men like us, struggling with this forsaken disease, and it CAN and WILL make you feel better. Ultimately, and in conjunction with the show, I've found a hair restoration surgeon that has given my appearance a new life.

Your post and your story speak very vividly to the gravity of hair loss, and I (and probably everyone on this forum) can empathize with laserlike precision the horror that your hair loss has caused. No one I have ever known or met that is NOT going thru hair loss himself or herself understands how harshly it wreaks havoc on our lives. It infiltrates every aspect of our lives, from our social circles to our career environments. Like you, I can't tolerate the "jokes" that are thrown at us. The last one I endured had me depressed for a whole week.

Don't despair. While I am not a doctor, and do not know the entirety of your hair loss, you may be a candidate for surgical hair restoration, like me, and an excellent doctor that is a member of the IAHRS may be able to return to you an appearance that gives you comfort in your own skin. I would encourage you to visit a doctor that is a member of the IAHRS. And, even if you are not a candidate, there are viable solutions, from wearing an undetectable hair system to simply managing to cope with and accept one's own hair loss, so that you can move on, and enjoy life after hair loss.

Hey, I am not too far from you age. One day, we'll wake up in the morning and we'll be 60 or 70 years old, and life will have passed us by. Life is too short and too precious to let it be controlled by hair loss and the devastation and emotions that, regretfully, are synonymous with it. We may then regret being so soured by hair loss because I believe that as we get older and wiser, the things that are important to us change.

Keep smiling, man. Enjoy who you are.


03-28-2009, 10:55 PM
Hey Mark,

I know that nightmare - I know that feeling of depression and the obsession that goes with it. If you poke around this site, you will notice that we are all here because we want some information, some support, some guidance on what to do next. Neither myself, nor anyone on this site, is going to give you the "what's the big deal, get over it" line of bullcrap. If it's bothering you this much, it's an issue, and I suggest you act to rectify the issue.

I'm five years older than you, and it appears that when I was 31 I went through so many of the feelings you are having now. Finding this site was a godsend. I realized there was support for how I was feeling from so many people out there, and I learned about what was really effective for doing something about hair loss and what was bunk. I learned about the IAHRS, had a consultation with an IAHRS-certified doctor, and had a hair transplant done two weeks ago today. Now I can look forward to hair regrowth over the coming year, and just knowing that has improved my life outlook tremendously.

Over the last 6 years or so I've also become a master at camoflauging my bald spot and thinning areas, so if you want some advice on that as you ponder your next step let me know.

You're not alone, you're not being a loser for not "just getting over it" or anything of the sort. Losing your hair sucks, especially if you don't look good with a shaved head (I am 100% in that category). The folks on this site are so informed and supportive it will blow you away. You will get all the answers and guidance you need here, so ask away and you'll be able to figure out your gameplan for feeling better about life. You'll be fine brother.

03-29-2009, 10:06 AM
Like Teejay said you have found the only site the provides full support and understanding. I always post my story because I want people to know where I am coming from.
Here’s my Story:

I was 16 when I starting balding and by the time I was 18 years old the jokes started. That’s young and at that age basically being a kid, losing your hair makes you feel like a leper. I feel so lucky to have found The bald truth and Spencer Kobren more than 10 years ago. This is the best hair loss forum in existence and I have been reading them all for years. this is the ONLY one I trust and the vibe is so uplifting and helpful. The show and this site is my therapy and it has literally healed me over the years. You should call the show to speak with Spencer or perhaps contact him through the forum. He's such a kind person and I know he will find the time to help you if he can.

Anyway like Teejay and mhoffma1 said, this is the right place and we are all here because we understand. People are here to help you so don't be shy about asking for help.


03-29-2009, 12:26 PM
We all feel the way you do and this is why we spend time here. I love this forum! Whenever I feel down I come here and read. It makes me feel like I am a part of something and it lifts my spirits. I quickly felt connected to this community ,I read otherís just like Chris did, but this is by far the most honest and empathetic I don't participate as much as I should do to a heavy a work load but now that I am seriously considering having a transplant Iíll be around here more often. Iíve been socking the money away for when the time is right, but I know that everyone here will give me solid advise when I ask.

I hope you find some peace here, I know I have.

Teejay, I heard you on the Bald Truth last week, did you write to the show to ask to be on or do you know Spencer personally? It sounded and looked like a blast!:D

03-29-2009, 12:54 PM

I think I might speak for alot of us that have posted on this thread when I say that I hope you are feeling better. What I have learned that it is so therapeutic and uplifting to vent, even furiously, about your hair loss. Let it out, brother. It's a huge release, and if nothing else, it will give you at least momentary relief. Hair loss sucks the big fat one. It's an unfortunate biological imperfection that some of us are born with, and its psychological implications are entirely MISUNDERSTOOD by the masses. Hence, the bald jokes and the "what's the big deal, just get over it" BS comments that we have to endure. Finding a forum like this is the ultimate solution to the dichotomy that plagues hair loss: while it's perfectly okay to poke fun at us and tell us to "just get over it", we aren't allowed to grieve or mourn or seek viable solutions or care about how it's affecting us. SCREW ALL THAT NONSENSE! We're all connected here because we know the feelings you have.


It was a blast, man. Spencer is a cool dude, seriously. Once I found the show, I basically begged and pleaded with Spencer to let me be a guest on it until he finally buckled. :-) Thanks Spencer!


03-29-2009, 02:08 PM
Thanks so much guys....
Its good to know that there is more than who understand the implications of this. Is it abnormal to literally stress about this all the time? I find every normal everyday task an absolute chore and its driving me mad.

Anyway.. I will become a regular here even if its just to moan haha

03-30-2009, 11:47 AM
Itís unhealthy but not abnormal. Many of us here on the forum do the same thing. It eventfully gets better but it never completely goes away in my experience.
We are all here to help you however we can.

03-31-2009, 08:30 PM
Mark - to reiterate - I feel your pain dude. I became completely obsessed with my hair loss too. When I successfully figured out how to camouflage it I felt better for awhile. But the thing about camouflaging it is that it cut down on things I liked to do that entailed sweating alot outside, swimming etc. I used to ride my bike to work everyday, but it became too much of a hassle and worry for me to get to work wondering if my disguise job would turn into a freak show. That's why I decided to get the hair transplant done. I took my time looking into it (mostly on this site) and found a great doc who, I believe (its only been 3 weeks) did a great job.

The great thing about doing something about the hair loss is that, even though it doesn't change your situation over night, it gives you an incredibly tangible thing to look forward to.

You mentioned you have been on Propecia -- how long have you been taking it?


you mentioned that you have been taking propecia -- how long have you been taking it? It does take awhile for it to start

04-01-2009, 11:51 AM
been on propecia 4 years and im sure it hasn't done anything :(