View Full Version : Where to start?

25 going on 65
09-05-2010, 03:28 PM
This is my first post here, but Iíve read the forum in bits and pieces since 2008. Iím not sure what drives me to finally post, but lately my MPB has worried me a lot. Maybe I just want to vent to empathetic people who know what this is like. (Itís so frustrating that non-balding people cannot grasp how hair loss makes one feel.)
So here goes. I first noticed signs of balding two years ago, though in hindsight it might have started 2- 3 years prior. Before this, things were going well for me. I was doing well in college, I had a good job on the side, had begun dating a new girl, etc. I now realize a lot of the confidence that helped me attain those things, though, came from my appearance. I was something of an awkward kid in public school, but gradually I grew into a handsome young dude, which made me feel bolder in how I interacted with others and how I approached life in general. And my hair Ė god, I had an awesome head of thick dark hair that I could style in all kinds of ways. Even then, I thought Iíd be screwed if I went bald someday, but I didnít realize just how crucial my hair was for my imageÖ until I saw it thinning.
I had some knowledge of genetic MPB beforehand, and when I initially saw the miniaturizing hairs in the mirror, I knew exactly what was happening. I think I panicked immediately Ė I shot off an email about it within half an hour to my GF, about how hair loss would depress me for the rest of my life if it couldnít be reversed. She shrugged it off at the time, just like all non-balding people shrug off the concerns of those with thinning hair.
Anyway. I started looking up treatments online that week, and got more optimistic. ďOh Iíll be fine, these are early stages of balding, Iíll just get on meds and have a full head of hair forever.Ē Within another week, that all changed. I was styling my hair before class, and used the old double-mirror trick to make sure it didnít look weird in back. And thatís when I realized my crown was really thinning out Ė like, I was looking at where my hair used to come together in a tight little whorl, and there was no doubt that an island of scalp was opening up. The water and hair gel made it extremely easy to detect. I freaked.
Whose head was I looking at? This was when I really started to lose my self-image. To this day, I often see myself the mirror and feel like Iím looking at someone else Ė some balding guy who kidnapped my reflection.
Since then, Iíve become much more acquainted with my hair loss pattern. I now see that my thinning is mostly diffuse Ė the crown area and hairline have changed a bit, but mainly my hair is getting thinner all over the top of my head. I went on Nizoral 1% shampoo in 2008, then 2% in 2009, and in the last few weeks Iíve started finasteride (1.25 mg daily) as well. I should have started a more aggressive regimen much earlier, but my finances have been limited (still are) and Iíve also been held back by severe bouts of depression (Iím being treated for that as well, but I doubt there is a long-term psychological solution to this disfiguring situation). I did begin using Dercos shampoo ďwith aminexilĒ last month, and it seems to improve the quality of my hair, but as for MPB Iím not sure it does anything. I plan on adding to my regimen, but it can be tough with my limited resources. (Also minoxodil is not for me, due to side effects unfortunately).
Really, I guess what Iím thinking first and foremost is that I HATE LOSING MY HAIR. I hate how it has utterly changed my life by ruining my self-perception (not to mention the perception of others Ė the way women act around me now compared to 3 years ago kills me). I hate not being able to go under bright lights, or go swimming, or be in windy weather. I hate wearing hats all the time when I leave my house, and not knowing what to say when people comment about it. And I hate how there is no way to hit the reset button on this Ė no amount of money could get my REAL hair back. The way it was before all this craziness.
I feel old, tired, and played out. This isnít just the loss of hair strands, itís the loss of my appearance altogether Ė Iím transforming slowly from an attractive guy into a ridiculous-looking, unattractive person. And yes, my hair does make that much of a difference Ė I looked good when I had it, but I look like crap with a shaved head. And Iím rapidly losing the ability to cover my balding with the hair I have left.
I feel like Iím sitting on the sidelines while my peers enjoy their youth. There is a painful squeeze in my chest when I see people my age just having a blast with each other, doing the silly fun things that I used to do. I feel like my young adulthood has been stolen from me, and thereís not even a culprit for me to blame. Just bad luck in the genetic dice rollÖ what a punch in the mouth!

Iíve skipped over a thousand details/thoughts/emotions here, but my post is already too long, and at least Iíve gotten some of this off my chest. Iím sure the veterans on this forum are tired of these kinds of self-pitying rants from people who are newer to the MPB game, but the only POV I really have is my own, and from where Iím standing it seems like thereís not much left for me in life besides hair loss and death. The sense of loss is overwhelming.

09-05-2010, 07:52 PM
You know what its like you just read my mind...........I am going f%&in insane everytime i look in the mirror..I don't know what to do with my life. I used to love swimming and the outdoors and the amusement park!! Why cant i enjoy that anymore??

09-05-2010, 07:57 PM
Feel frre to email me or talk about with me cause i have noone to vent about it with. dgerman2@gmail.com

09-05-2010, 09:05 PM
I was going to write a similar post 25 goin on 65 but I think you already did it for me! Man! I'll tell you what. I swear it is like why the !#$% me! And there is noone to be mad at. And being a Christian it's tough to thank God sometimes! It's like he did it on purpose because I got all the girls when I was a teenager. It really is a hard thing to bite! I GET TO LOSE MY HAIR WHILE FREAKIN JUSTINE TIMBERLAKE GETS TO MAKE MUSIC!. REALLY! It's really making me mad! and then what makes it worse is all the fake cures out there for it! Products that claim they regrow hair because after consistent application on a @#$kin lab rat under supervision, AFTRER ONLY 2 YEARS sprouted what looked like it could be a hair . Or Worse the products in which the seller knows the sh@$! doesnt work but it trying to capitalize off your misery by selling you a product that Hypothetically SHOULD work! FU$@ that! I dont want to sound like a conspirasy theorist! HOW DO THEY NOT HAVE A CURE FOR THIS! Ive takin Propecia for almost 2 years I'm not sure if it works but I hate the way it makes me feel! Woooo!!!!! I FEEL BETTER NOW!

09-05-2010, 09:11 PM
Dam dude you feel the SAME f56kin way i do..Noone to vent to. I used to get all the women..Everyone thought i looked like f&*kin Marc Anthony,now sh*^t. Email me and we can exchange numbers if u want. I really need someone to talk to about this before i do go insane. This is hell man. I dont know if i can get thru this!!!!!

25 going on 65
09-06-2010, 10:25 AM
Thank you guys for your responses. It makes it a little easier when others can empathize. Trying to talk about this with (for example) my father is so frustrating, when he's had a full head of hair his entire life and has no concept of how hair loss makes us feel.

dgman: You also realize the importance of being able to talk to others in the same situation! Unfortunately I'm a little reluctant to give out my email, phone #, etc. I guess part of it is me being embarrassed of all this, and paranoid about being identified. But you know what, I'm considering making a new email just for this purpose, so who knows.
But I know what it's like to literally feel like you're going insane over hair loss, so please get in touch with me (or others) on here if you feel like you're about to go off the deep end. I'm happy to vent on here and to hear others vent to me. In the past I have even flirted with thoughts of suicide over MPB, and I know how just talking to some one can help turn those feelings around. At least for the moment, which sometimes is all we can ask for.

ThatGuy: I also HATE the tons of snake oil in the hair treatment industry. The most opportunistic, selfish types of businessmen gravitate towards this market, because they know there are millions (billions) of desperate people in the world who are wiling to try almost anything to get their hair back.
Funny you should mention Justin Timberlake though. Awhile back I was channel surfing and some channel was playing a live concert of his. I remember thinking, "what a lucky SOB to have all that hair." Ha
I'm really intrigued by the idea of a theist suffering MPB, though. Personally I have no faith, and sometimes I wonder how I would go about this if I was religious. Would I feel better or worse? Would I be angry at god? I have no idea. But at least the concept of an afterlife might give you some hope for a future with a full head of hair. :) For me, the notion that this is my one and only life can make MPB even more bothersome. Like, if I only get 75 years to exist, why the hell must I do it with the balding gene?? Grr

Anyway, I know I keep saying this, but this forum does make me feel a little better about things. Maybe it will help us survive until stem cell research cures baldness... if that day ever comes. (Come on scientists, let's do this!)

09-06-2010, 10:40 AM
25 goin,
So let me ask you are you isolating yourself like me? I mean i cant even think of anything else except my hair issues. If i go somewhere i start obsessing to the point where i want to end it. Shaving your head ,a HTransplant,a hat,styling your hair everymorning trying to cover the thinning area drives me nuts. How do u deal with it? I wish i can goto to the fair and enjoy the rides or go swimming and enjoy the outside..I always dream of going to a planet where balding is normal and noone gives a sh*&!!

25 going on 65
09-06-2010, 11:19 AM
dgman: Oh yeah, MPB has definitely made me antisocial. The only people I see anymore on a regular basis are my family members and a few friends, and I don't even like to be around friends unless I can wear a hat. If I'm in public with no hat on, I constantly think about my hair, always noticing who can see me from which angles and under what kind of lighting. It's very draining, so I prefer not to go out much anymore. It's sad because I was a pretty social, confident guy before my hair loss. I was awkward and shy in high school, but by 21-22 I was going out and meeting lots of people and generally enjoying my social life. I was happy with my personal growth and getting over my shyness. Now, I'm only halfway through my 20's, and I'm living like a retired old hermit.
To make matters worse, my isolation is taking its toll on other aspects of my life. I'm unemployed, and I feel like I can't even bring myself to go find work, because I hate being around people. My college education, which was going great a few years ago, has totally stopped. I haven't taken a class in a long time... being around a bunch of young women aged 18-30 is not high on my list of priorities when I'm balding and they can stare at the back of my head for an hour-long class.
These days I play a lot of video games, watch TV or movies, surf the internet, smoke cannabis or drink booze, etc. A pathetic existence, I know, but these are the small joys in my life now that my social career has been destroyed. I would rather stay at home and play Super Mario than try to eek out a new public life as this silly-looking balding dude.

25 going on 65
09-06-2010, 11:25 AM
Oh, as for how I deal with it when I go out... well, usually I wear a hat. If my hair is long enough, I can style it in a way that gives me full coverage, which is useful if you're attending a wedding or funeral and can't wear a hat. But then I have to worry about wind, rain, etc... not to mention it can take a long time to make sure the hair is sitting right, not exposing my scalp.
For the most part though, I'm just staying at home. I mean look at me now, spending my morning on a hair loss forum instead of being out living my life. Blah!

09-06-2010, 11:27 AM
Yea i know thats exactly what Im doing. I have a degree but i dont even want to look for jobs cause life sucks with hair loss. I live with my mom and stepdad in their house but shes getting real sick of me doing nothing but i dont care. I really wish there was meetings like BA(bald anonymous) for therapy to talk to people that understand. I dont know how to move forward in life.....

25 going on 65
09-06-2010, 11:49 AM
Yeah man, our situations are very similar. I'm living with my family and my dad is sick of it. When I try to explain to him what's going on, he tells me to get over it, which is easy to say when you're pushing 60 with a better head of hair than your 25-year-old son!
I don't know how to move forward either. I feel like my life is on hold until science can regrow my hair for me, which I guess is stupid because that technology might be 15-20 years away for all I know. But without that glimmer of hope, the hope of successful stem cell therapy, I think I'd be even more depressed than I am now.

09-06-2010, 12:09 PM
Have u considered a hair transplant? Thats the direction im headed in but theres alot of scary comment on here about it.

25 going on 65
09-06-2010, 12:24 PM
I have considered HT, but I still have some serious reservations about it.
I'll go into more detail when I get back on later; need to go handle a few things before I end up spending my whole day here!
Out of curiosity though, what are the main things concerning you about a possible future transplant?

09-06-2010, 12:34 PM
My concerns are not getting any results,losing more existing hair because of the trauma of the hair transplant and it not growing back,pain lasting along time,scars,wasting a lot of $$ that I dont have. The biggest concern is NOT GETTING ANY results though when the doctor guarantees it. What bout you?

09-06-2010, 12:53 PM
Just wanted to know if you guys were on propecia? if so how has your experiences been with it? I cut it down to a half dose because I just felt not like myself, it really made me feel dull , and slow I think it interferes with the thought process or something. How sad is taking a medication to keep your hair from falling out? On top of that I hate medications! What else have you guys tryed?

09-06-2010, 02:04 PM
I have been on propecia for 3 years and it hasnt done NADA! I tried rogaine,Nioxin. I just got a lasercomb 2 weeks ago. But its gonna come down to a hair transplant. I cant move on in my life until i get some sort of temporary solution..

09-06-2010, 02:30 PM
Hey Dgman I feel the exact same way about propecia. So what is it's purpose? slowing the process down or what? did you notice any side affect with propecia? What do you think about the laser comb? I agree with you about the hair transplant , I just feel finding the right doc will be the biggest problem and like you said with the guarantee, and how long will it last for? are some of the biggest concerns!

09-06-2010, 03:05 PM
Its supposed to slow down hairloss but its not worked for 3 yrs..I guess some people say it works but they r probably in denial. The lasercomb supposed to show some results in 12 weeks ,ive only been doing it for 2-3 weeks
The hair transplant is gonna be sooo expensive,especially if we dont want to get the back of out head cut open with a scalpel and go with the FUE. Im thinking of Dr Wong or Dr Bauman but they are far away and lots of money and still no gaurantee. This sucks!!!

09-06-2010, 09:03 PM
I am with you guys. I have been on 1/4 a proscar for about 3 years and not sure it is doing anything. Now I am afraid if I stop, and it was slowing the progression, I will loose even more. So for now I am staying on the meds. I am 49 and just underwent my first HT with Dr Pistone in Marlton NJ. He guarantees the transplanted hairs will grow, so that is a pretty good guarantee.

Give his office a call if you want more info.

btw, I am almost 6 weeks post surgery and have lost or shed additional hair since the procedure. I knew this was possible but it sucks. I just keep thinking I have to wait 6 to 12 months to see results.

09-06-2010, 10:07 PM
are u losing the native hairs or the transplanted hairs??Keep me updated cause i need to know what to do?

09-07-2010, 04:36 AM
Definitely both. For a week or so nothing fell out, but then I started shedding my native hair, which really sucked. I expected to loose most of the transplanted hairs and they were only an 1/8 inch long or so, no big deal. Didn't want to loose my native hair, but I knew it could happen. It seems to have stopped and I hope it stays that way. I appear to be having "normal" shedding right now.

I have added hair vitamins, follogen products, emu oil, and the laser to my regiment to hopefully aid the healing process. Don't know if it is helping but what the hell.

25 going on 65
09-07-2010, 09:09 AM
njs: Congratulations on your new hair, I hope you are happy when the results show! If you donít mind keeping us posted on your progress, Iíd love to see how it works out. Iíve read that some transplants take more than a year to fully show how successful they are, so it takes patience. Just keep in touch with your doc to make sure itís going smoothly. Good luck!

dgman: I have some of your same HT concerns, and the biggest by far is not being satisfied with the results. The technology has come a long way, but when I look at before-and-after photos, I donít normally see results that I think Iíd be happy with. Post-HT, men still usually look like they have receding hairlines, or vanishing crowns, or diffuse thinning, or a combo of those things. In other words, Iím worried that if I got an HT, I would still look like a balding guy. Plus I have diffuse thinning, so what happens if I get an HT and then the native hair around the recipient sites falls out?
Donít get me wrong, modern HTís DO make the patient look better, and I have seen some fantastic transformations. But not all of us can pull off that look, especially younger guys IMHO. I surely donít think I would do it justiceÖ I just want my old hair back to be honest!
Other concerns are money, scars, and I guess Iím also worried about what others might think. I.e. the idea of being ďthat guy who had hair surgery.Ē Plus, if the surgery was botched and disfigured me (beyond the typical scars one would expect), I think I would freak out.

As for some of the drug questions you guys are askingÖ finasteride (Propecia or Proscar) has different levels of effectiveness for different people. It can slow down hair loss, or stop it altogether, and some people also regrow hair on it. Iíve been taking it less than a month (1/4 Proscar per day), so I wonít be able to really judge the results for quite awhile. But I havenít noticed any side effects so far, fortunately.
If youíve been on the drug for years, I definitely would NOT stop taking it, because itís probably slowed down your hair loss even if it hasnít stopped it. And quitting finasteride means youíll soon lose the hairs you would have lost if you never took the drug (within six months after stopping, I think).
njs, in your case I think itís particularly important to stay on finasteride, because you had an HT and you definitely want to keep your native hairs (not just the transplanted ones, which will stay put with or without meds). Iíve heard cases where guys get an HT, love the results, but then have problems a few years later when they lose their native hairs and the recipient areas start looking bizarre.
You guys could also try dutasteride (Avodart), which seems to block more DHT and regrow more hair, but itís not FDA-approved for hair loss and there looks to be much less certainty about its long-term side effects compared to finasteride. Definitely do your research before trying any experimental treatments! However, I do plan to switch from finasteride to dutasteride within the next year, and at that point Iíll be glad to keep everyone posted on how It works for me.

25 going on 65
09-07-2010, 09:34 AM
ThatGuy: I meant to tell you in regard to some of your questions.. I have been using ketoconazole shampoo (Nizoral) for a couple years. I do think it helped reduce my hair loss, but like Avodart it's not FDA-approved for that purpose. However I have had no side effects, and it doesn't cost me much for the 2% stuff, so I'm content to keep using it (every other day, because once a day is too often).
I have also recently started using Dercos shampoo "with aminexil," as it is advertised to fight perifollicular fibrosis (which accompanies most forms of balding I believe, including MPB), but I honestly don't know if it works. I will say that it seems to be improving the quality of my existing hair, but as a balding treatment I just don't know.

As for the laser therapies. I don't know much about them. Some people claim to see results, but without more certainty, I sure as hell won't be paying hundreds of dollars for a LaserComb!

09-07-2010, 10:21 AM

I am going to stay on the proscar, cause like you said I am concerned it is helping and this is not the time to experiment. I used the nizerol and derchos shampoo also, but did not really see any improvement so I stopped. I just bought one of the spencerforest laser devises. They are the same company that makes the topik stuff. I bought it on ebay for..........................$46. lol.
For that money I figured it was worth a shot. If you want to try going on there there are some great buys to be had.

Either way good luck and I will try to keep you guys up to date on my ht progress.

Again, I am hoping to keep this situation at bay until histogen or some other way of solving the issue comes to market. Hopefully that will be sooner than later. I guess good luck to us all.

03-15-2011, 12:53 AM
I'm 26 and I'm getting pretty bald. I'de say I have about 25% of my hair left on the top of my head. I am a bartender and I graduated from college with a BS in business administration. I don't consider myself very attractive at all but I try and be a good person to those around me. At the end of the day we are all going to be remembered for how we treated others..not for our luscious head of hair.

For what it's worth...and it may be hard to swallow..life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. If you let it get the best of you it most certainly will. If you wake up every morning and try your best to stay positive, things will most certainly improve. Don't let your baldness stop you from enjoying life man! Get a job...any job..and your quality of life will improve..I promise!

One more thing. I understand the frustration of not being able to pick up chicks like before. I used to have them swarming. Do yourself a favor and stop going to clubs looking for chicks. The girls that hang out at clubs and go home with the fancy good looking guy just wanna be a human pincushion to make up for their lack of a prominant father figure. Find yourself a good girl with ambition and you'll laugh in pity when you see blondie being pulled caveman style back to some idiots house for a night of STD swapping.

10% your surroundings...90% your attitude.

03-15-2011, 03:13 AM
Lol@ night of STD swapping :p

03-15-2011, 03:35 AM
Yeah MPB ****ed up my life aswel, ruined my confidence, a knife to the gut if anything.

Dont wanna start Propecia cause of the sexual sides an the gyno aswel, and thats about it on the front for treatments! LOL... we have nothing!

Aint life great?

03-15-2011, 03:38 AM
I'm 26 and I'm getting pretty bald. I'de say I have about 25% of my hair left on the top of my head. I am a bartender and I graduated from college with a BS in business administration. I don't consider myself very attractive at all but I try and be a good person to those around me. At the end of the day we are all going to be remembered for how we treated others..not for our luscious head of hair.

For what it's worth...and it may be hard to swallow..life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. If you let it get the best of you it most certainly will. If you wake up every morning and try your best to stay positive, things will most certainly improve. Don't let your baldness stop you from enjoying life man! Get a job...any job..and your quality of life will improve..I promise!

One more thing. I understand the frustration of not being able to pick up chicks like before. I used to have them swarming. Do yourself a favor and stop going to clubs looking for chicks. The girls that hang out at clubs and go home with the fancy good looking guy just wanna be a human pincushion to make up for their lack of a prominant father figure. Find yourself a good girl with ambition and you'll laugh in pity when you see blondie being pulled caveman style back to some idiots house for a night of STD swapping.

10% your surroundings...90% your attitude.

Nice post, and lets look on the bright side ey? MAYBE... just MAYBE we might have a better treatment in another 5 years?...:D

hmm... okay we're screwed.

04-01-2011, 03:53 AM
We all have problems that we don't like, Some men just shave it all off and go with the all over bald look. but my bet is still on M.Gardson's growth technique

04-03-2011, 11:09 PM
I feel the same way as everyone in this thread.

It is crazy how MPB makes us all feel the same way, have the same thoughts, and still not be considered an illness. MPB promotes depression, depression is an illness.

Balding is just looked at as, balding. If balding would literally kill people, that's when scientists would rush to make a cure. But no, since it doesn't kill us, then forget about it, who cares if it psychologically messes with our heads and emotionally breaks us down. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...yeah right. MPB has me feeling weaker than ever.

04-11-2011, 02:56 PM
I think the irrational thing about hairloss is peoples' reaction to it. Losing hair at a very young age is a sign of premature aging. This is a bigger deal than people think. It is not a serious medical condition - but it can make one feel very abnormal at a young age. People who have not gone through this would not understand.

04-11-2011, 03:21 PM
I feel the exact same way as you guys. I'm turning 23 later this month. My hair started thinning my 1st year of university (when I was 19) but it still looked fine. It wasn't until my 3rd year that it became really noticeable and I wore a hat all the time. My 4th year was even worse and things haven't changed.

I don't want to go out anymore. The only way I can get by is if I grow my hair long and style it. If I wear a hat and I take it off, my hair looks terrible.

No swimming. I hate windy days. I hate the rain.

It's pretty ****ing depressing. I used to go the gym and I used to run. Now I just think what's the point if I'm going to look bad because of my hair.

My youth has been stolen away.

I have so many dreams of having a successful hair transplant and having it change my life. Hopefully sooner than later this will come true and I can go back to living a happy, full life like any other 23 year old would.

I'm in medical school now and people say "Why do you care if you have no hair? You're going to be a doctor" The people who say this are men with full sets of hair or women. They have no idea what it's like. No other guy in my class has nearly the amount of hair loss that I do.