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  1. #1
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Default ? about divorced women

    This has nothing to do with hair and everything to do with relationships and how women think. Looking for advice on what to do.

    After many years of being out of the game, I decided to try my hand at online dating . It didn't take long before I hit the jackpot, or at least that is how it seemed. Very pretty, hi IQ, good person. After a couple of weeks , we meet and have a "running date" - she runs marathons and I run to lose weight. It was fun and I think things went well. I don't hear from her for a few days,..I think she is out of town but regardless she does start communication and tells me she recently got divorced and doesn't want to do anything serious right now just friends. I asked her point blank if there was something about me she did not like, not her type, not attractive enough to tell me now and no hard feelings. But she never said anything . Sometimes when we communicate she is really happy other times, doesn't say much at all.

    I also have another friend on this site who lives thousands of miles away so no chance of us dating and no reason for her to mislead me. She is warning me that recently divorced women will string men along. Instead of telling them they are not their type willl just kept talking until someone better comes along and then just disappear. She also predicted that the conversations will get less and less until they are no more and that already seems to be happening. This girl is very busy , I know for a fact and I don't see her on the main dating site much at all anymore, but I do see her on our secondary one just about every night.

    I know some of you already have it against women but I know their are more moderate folks on here as well. Do you think my friend is right about this girl and I am probably wasting me time. I don't want to give up unless it's totally hopeless and I can't really tell at this point. There are already other women contacting me but they are not my types and I am being honest with them up front , but still will talk to them as I feel it is the decent thing to do. But I have told them upfront I was not interested.

    So have any of you ever seen divorced women do something like this(string soemone along with no intention of dating)? I like to think the best of people but don't want to be a fool if this is a common practice.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Senior Member dex89's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpb47 View Post
    This has nothing to do with hair and everything to do with relationships and how women think. Looking for advice on what to do.

    After many years of being out of the game, I decided to try my hand at online dating . It didn't take long before I hit the jackpot, or at least that is how it seemed. Very pretty, hi IQ, good person. After a couple of weeks , we meet and have a "running date" - she runs marathons and I run to lose weight. It was fun and I think things went well. I don't hear from her for a few days,..I think she is out of town but regardless she does start communication and tells me she recently got divorced and doesn't want to do anything serious right now just friends. I asked her point blank if there was something about me she did not like, not her type, not attractive enough to tell me now and no hard feelings. But she never said anything . Sometimes when we communicate she is really happy other times, doesn't say much at all.

    I also have another friend on this site who lives thousands of miles away so no chance of us dating and no reason for her to mislead me. She is warning me that recently divorced women will string men along. Instead of telling them they are not their type willl just kept talking until someone better comes along and then just disappear. She also predicted that the conversations will get less and less until they are no more and that already seems to be happening. This girl is very busy , I know for a fact and I don't see her on the main dating site much at all anymore, but I do see her on our secondary one just about every night.

    I know some of you already have it against women but I know their are more moderate folks on here as well. Do you think my friend is right about this girl and I am probably wasting me time. I don't want to give up unless it's totally hopeless and I can't really tell at this point. There are already other women contacting me but they are not my types and I am being honest with them up front , but still will talk to them as I feel it is the decent thing to do. But I have told them upfront I was not interested.

    So have any of you ever seen divorced women do something like this(string soemone along with no intention of dating)? I like to think the best of people but don't want to be a fool if this is a common practice.

    Thanks!
    I used to do that with several girls and they have done it to me as well. This is nothing new, just some people can be really selfish like myself and it's killing me. If you guys are having intercourse then I would continue the relationship but also find someone else. You don't want to be fooled, just have your 2nd option just in case. Give her space and let her text or call you, if she never contact you then she doesn't want anything to do with you.

  3. #3
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post
    Your problem was going for the run. She does it competitively, whereas you do it to lose weight. That means you showed her weakness. Women don't like weakness. You basically agreed to go on a date where she would dominate you physically and psychologically. Terrible move.

    Anyway, women are terribly complex. Not in a cunning way, more in a they-have-no-idea-what-they-really-want way. Stop chasing her tail. If she wants you then let her talk to you, if not then it's her loss. And avoid single mothers at ALL COSTS!!!!!!!! They are aids of the dating websites.

    Because you're old then maybe it's better finding a window. Any woman who isn't married by thirty is probably some raging man-hater who thinks one night stands "empower" her. Besides, you're getting old man. You can't be picky against non-virgins, divorced women etc. Just take what you can or become a priest / monk.
    Highlander, I know you like to be depressed but you are wrong about the weakness thing. I actually showed restraint and held back because I would have been a downright jackass to show her up. She runs for cancer charities and trains others to do the same.

    I have never settled in my life and not about to start now....

  4. #4
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dex89 View Post
    I used to do that with several girls and they have done it to me as well. This is nothing new, just some people can be really selfish like myself and it's killing me. If you guys are having intercourse then I would continue the relationship but also find someone else. You don't want to be fooled, just have your 2nd option just in case. Give her space and let her text or call you, if she never contact you then she doesn't want anything to do with you.

    Well still not sure what is going on. I did hear from her tonight and she won a scholarship to a woman's computer conference and is in New york area right now. Said she would be back this weekend and would be in touch once she got caught up. Don't want to be a fool but the payoff is high if things work out. Long shot but going to hang on a while longer. Thanks for the sound advice.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post
    Good luck on your forever alone endeavours of 2012.
    Come on. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that your account is not a troll account.


    Anyway, mpb47. People do string other people along sometimes, divorced or not, male or female. When you are infatuated or at least interested in someone, it gets so easy to read too much into every little action or inaction. Sometimes it really seems as if they aren't interested, then two weeks later youre spending a weekend with them. People have all kinds of crazy reasons for why they do things and it isn't necessarily anything to do with you.
    eg, guys a lot of time will interpret avoidance or cold behavior as "she must not like me." Sometimes it's actually that she is very busy, self conscious, depressed, etc etc. We tend to feel like things revolve around us and if they aren't going like we had hoped, it's somehow our fault. Like, "if only I looked or acted differently," when those things may not be playing any role in how she is behaving right now
    It might be the case that she is stringing you along but I will quote Scorpion here, "those who do not risk, do not win." If you see it through there is x% chance you will be played for a fool, but if you cut her off there is 100% chance it will go nowhere. Which decision would you more likely regret down the line?

    Edit: I didn't really answer your question about divorced women. If they are more likely to string men along, it might be because they are feeling more jaded towards relationships and dating in general? They're also a little older on average than women who have never been married, so maybe some of them are more willing to manipulate others and more clever at it.
    But I'm just throwing around ideas. I honestly don't know if divorcees are actually more likely to be this way in the first place.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 25 going on 65 View Post
    Come on. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that your account is not a troll account.


    Anyway, mpb47. People do string other people along sometimes, divorced or not, male or female. When you are infatuated or at least interested in someone, it gets so easy to read too much into every little action or inaction. Sometimes it really seems as if they aren't interested, then two weeks later youre spending a weekend with them. People have all kinds of crazy reasons for why they do things and it isn't necessarily anything to do with you.
    eg, guys a lot of time will interpret avoidance or cold behavior as "she must not like me." Sometimes it's actually that she is very busy, self conscious, depressed, etc etc. We tend to feel like things revolve around us and if they aren't going like we had hoped, it's somehow our fault. Like, "if only I looked or acted differently," when those things may not be playing any role in how she is behaving right now
    It might be the case that she is stringing you along but I will quote Scorpion here, "those who do not risk, do not win." If you see it through there is x% chance you will be played for a fool, but if you cut her off there is 100% chance it will go nowhere. Which decision would you more likely regret down the line?

    Edit: I didn't really answer your question about divorced women. If they are more likely to string men along, it might be because they are feeling more jaded towards relationships and dating in general? They're also a little older on average than women who have never been married, so maybe some of them are more willing to manipulate others and more clever at it.
    But I'm just throwing around ideas. I honestly don't know if divorcees are actually more likely to be this way in the first place.
    Thanks well I think you hit on a few points in her case: "very busy, self conscious, depressed"
    She is a teacher, a coach, and does all this computer stuff to boot. As far as self conscious goes, she admitted she almost did not want to meet me because of that. She just went through a divorce and admits she is screwed up and eating junk food. I have seen both before and after photos and just a few years ago she was as they say smoking hot but has since put on quite a bit of weight on the sides (hips) and still nice looking but still she is embarrassed about it. But I don't care as I was a blimp a year ago and have since lost 60+ pounds and climbing. She admits to being depressed about her husband leaving her too. There is more but don't want to get too personal.

    But yea I think it's worth waiting for even if I lose out in the end. Not just for her looks but she is smart as *hit in the tech world, never met one this smart before ever. She even knew why wires in Ethernet cables are twisted and even knew the correct term of what happens when they are not.
    anyway thanks for the positive advice..

  7. #7
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post
    Nobody finds a wife or girlfriend at his age without some serious compromise. Sorry for not pandering to his delusions.
    I posted my pic awhile back. Take a look and tell me if I really look as old as am.
    Not claiming I am good looking, but old looking, I am not.

  8. #8
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    Honestly, I think she's genuinely just not ready yet. A failed marriage is a tough thing to deal with, so I definitely see why it seems like she's "stringing you along." If you feel there is GENUINE connection between the two of you, then just be patient. Don't rush her, because that could scare her off.

    "Sometimes when we communicate she is really happy other times, doesn't say much at all." -- I think she just can't make up her mind. That, or she just has so much going on when she doesn't say much at all (you mentioned she's a teacher, a coach, and does all this computer stuff to boot. Not sure what the last part means - is she a computer technician or something? lol - but I'm guessing she's definitely a busy woman).

    Anyway, I agree about Highlander. lol I've been reading a few threads on here, but only posted on not even a handful. I've seen a few of Highlander's posts. I have actually noticed a number of users on here that are rather...I dunno, trollish.

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