I feel afraid of what men think of me - BaldTruthTalk.com
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  1. #1
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    Unhappy I feel afraid of what men think of me

    I'm only 24 but I'm already dealing with hair loss

    I feel I'm too young for this and the majority of women my age still have thick, luxurious hair... even my 86 year old grandma has a beautiful head of thick, silver hair. I still have enough hair to make it seem "normal" to the untrained eye, but some people have commented on how thin and fine my hair is. I hate that I can basically only wear it down, because with a ponytail some "bald spots" start becoming apparent.

    But what what concerns me the most is what men think, even bald men. 'Cause no one wants a bald woman! Or at least that's what I feel... like maybe hair loss makes a young woman look sick or unhealthy. I've been told I have a pretty face and a nice body (I wouldn't know since I've always had low self esteem, but I do get some more attention than I'd expect). The problem is for example that I'm always scared that a guy will notice my hair loss, for example if he touches my hair in the heat of the moment (if you know what I mean) or if he sees my hair wet, etc. I'm not even talking about a long time boyfriend or husband who would "accept me just as I am", but someone I'm just getting to know.

    It makes me sad that I'll never be truly attractive, I never had that chance because as a teen I was overweight and then after that I started losing my hair when I was like 18 I think... it was all very gradual so I didn't notice until last year, and I guess I was a bit in denial too.

    I haven't been diagnosed with PCOS but maybe I have it? My sister has it, and she also has pattern hair loss. I have insulin resistance which is usually related to PCOS but I have no cysts and my periods have always been regular and normal, I also don't have any other markers like hirsutism or acne, but I've heard PCOS can be mild and go unnoticed. My thyroid is also fine. I'm on the pill and it made no difference whatsoever, positive or negative.

    I guess this is a bit of a rant, but for the ladies here, how have you dealt with dating, men and confidence? And if any guys are reading, if a woman is otherwise attractive and nice and kind, would you accept her thinning hair, and that with her you'd never have her change her look/style much?

    I think I have AGA... I'm not sure, but I think so, because my scalp is always really tight and tense, I have seborrheic dermatitis (which I guess is due to dht) and sometimes when I move my hair around or scratch some tiny, fine, almost transparent hairs come out... when I went to the dermatologist he just said I'm balding and didn't go any further and there aren't more derms or good endocrinologists where I live, and I can't afford to go somewhere else to see better docs and pay for expensive treatments (I'm not in the US).

    But on top of it I suspect I might something else, because the tiny hairs only come from the top of my head (AGA), but the rest of my hair is also thinning, not only in density but the diameter of each strand has got finer with time (I've always had thin, fine hair, but looking at old pictures I had more density and my hair seemed stronger, coarser, better texture, etc.). My hair is still shiny though and it grows really fast and really long if I don't get haircuts regularly (at one point I didn't get a haircut for 2 years and it grew from my shoulders to my hips, I'm 5'7" so I think it's quite fast).

    Sorry for the rant/length, I'm just feeling a bit down because I feel like I just missed my chance to ever be attractive, 'cause let's face it, it's not like I can reverse it or even stop it

  2. #2
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    The bottom line is that we just want our women to look and feel good. If that means getting a good hairpiece or bonded system, then most guys, especially balding guys would have no problem with that. I know I would be fine with it. I think very few women feel good walking around with visibly thinning hair, so there is no reason to suffer, there are lots of ways for women to enhance the appearance of their hair and it is far more acceptable for women to wear wigs or hairpieces then it is for men.

    Hope this helps.

    Quote Originally Posted by mimosa View Post
    I'm only 24 but I'm already dealing with hair loss

    I feel I'm too young for this and the majority of women my age still have thick, luxurious hair... even my 86 year old grandma has a beautiful head of thick, silver hair. I still have enough hair to make it seem "normal" to the untrained eye, but some people have commented on how thin and fine my hair is. I hate that I can basically only wear it down, because with a ponytail some "bald spots" start becoming apparent.

    But what what concerns me the most is what men think, even bald men. 'Cause no one wants a bald woman! Or at least that's what I feel... like maybe hair loss makes a young woman look sick or unhealthy. I've been told I have a pretty face and a nice body (I wouldn't know since I've always had low self esteem, but I do get some more attention than I'd expect). The problem is for example that I'm always scared that a guy will notice my hair loss, for example if he touches my hair in the heat of the moment (if you know what I mean) or if he sees my hair wet, etc. I'm not even talking about a long time boyfriend or husband who would "accept me just as I am", but someone I'm just getting to know.

    It makes me sad that I'll never be truly attractive, I never had that chance because as a teen I was overweight and then after that I started losing my hair when I was like 18 I think... it was all very gradual so I didn't notice until last year, and I guess I was a bit in denial too.

    I haven't been diagnosed with PCOS but maybe I have it? My sister has it, and she also has pattern hair loss. I have insulin resistance which is usually related to PCOS but I have no cysts and my periods have always been regular and normal, I also don't have any other markers like hirsutism or acne, but I've heard PCOS can be mild and go unnoticed. My thyroid is also fine. I'm on the pill and it made no difference whatsoever, positive or negative.

    I guess this is a bit of a rant, but for the ladies here, how have you dealt with dating, men and confidence? And if any guys are reading, if a woman is otherwise attractive and nice and kind, would you accept her thinning hair, and that with her you'd never have her change her look/style much?

    I think I have AGA... I'm not sure, but I think so, because my scalp is always really tight and tense, I have seborrheic dermatitis (which I guess is due to dht) and sometimes when I move my hair around or scratch some tiny, fine, almost transparent hairs come out... when I went to the dermatologist he just said I'm balding and didn't go any further and there aren't more derms or good endocrinologists where I live, and I can't afford to go somewhere else to see better docs and pay for expensive treatments (I'm not in the US).

    But on top of it I suspect I might something else, because the tiny hairs only come from the top of my head (AGA), but the rest of my hair is also thinning, not only in density but the diameter of each strand has got finer with time (I've always had thin, fine hair, but looking at old pictures I had more density and my hair seemed stronger, coarser, better texture, etc.). My hair is still shiny though and it grows really fast and really long if I don't get haircuts regularly (at one point I didn't get a haircut for 2 years and it grew from my shoulders to my hips, I'm 5'7" so I think it's quite fast).

    Sorry for the rant/length, I'm just feeling a bit down because I feel like I just missed my chance to ever be attractive, 'cause let's face it, it's not like I can reverse it or even stop it

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post
    I know how you feel. I'm currently on a mission for physical perfection by age twenty-three. I'm using all available methods including plastic surgery, HT's, and gym. If I fail, or become NW3, then it's game over.

    I have felt the power of being beautiful before, and I'm going to feel it again. Do what you can to fight this. At least as a woman you have so many effective options. Even wearing a wig is not that big of a deal - not that it should be necessary given the existing and upcoming treatments.


    #Death at NW3!
    Game over? So, your going to kill yourself?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by dex89 View Post
    Game over? So, your going to kill yourself?
    Yes, that is what he has said he will do. Just like Scorpion did.

  5. #5
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    There are plenty of good reasons to believe Highlander and Scorpion are one and the same. Both have extreme mental problems that need a team of therapists to treat. Both refuse to get the therapy they desperately need.

  6. #6
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    As a horny little vain 18-year old, I can tell you - hand on heart, with confirmation of dozens of other vain, horny little 18 year olds- that a woman wearing a wig is no big deal at all! Wigs can look real on a woman, unlike on men, so I don't think you should worry about it

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post
    I know how you feel. I'm currently on a mission for physical perfection by age twenty-three. I'm using all available methods including plastic surgery, HT's, and gym. If I fail, or become NW3, then it's game over.

    I have felt the power of being beautiful before, and I'm going to feel it again. Do what you can to fight this. At least as a woman you have so many effective options. Even wearing a wig is not that big of a deal - not that it should be necessary given the existing and upcoming treatments.


    #Death at NW3!
    I suffer from low self-esteem/depression ( not as a result of hair loss, so you can imagine that hair loss has only made things better) and I know the feeling you are talking about- sheer, god damn frustration because you look better with hair vs bald.

    But then again, if you can go through therapy, as I am, deal with your insecurities, sort your life out, build massive confidence, hit the gym, get a tan, get the correct eyebrows/facial hair for facial symmetry, you can exude an awesome personality which is more attracive than a pretty face with major insecurities, plus you're not gonna be 'ugly' .

    Admittedly going bald makes you less aesthetic, no doubt about it. And it's shit, you lose 2 points of attractivenss/10 I'd say. You can easily get 1 point back by the gym/tan/facial hair combo.

    You need to see a cognitive therapist- you honestly wouldn't believe the impact they have for low self-esteem.

    And remember, women are less shallow about men than men themselves, so for a LOT of women (not all ) awesome personality>>> aesthetic but insecure.

  8. #8
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    There are many things women find much more unattractive in men than hair loss. Like it or not, the reality is that hair loss is natural and normal for males. It is what it is - and most women don't even give it a second thought. I'm going to be painfully honest about it here. Most guys are clueless about women. Highlander/Scorpion is even more clueless than normal. Highlander/Scorpion is only a lost cause if he chooses to be so. It is his choice and his choice alone.

    Turn the table around though and it is an entirely different story. Though many women do suffer with hair loss, it much more tragic for woman. Therefore it is kept silent and secret. Sure it is more acceptable for a woman to wear hair. But that wig does not repair the damage inflicted on her heart and soul.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy C View Post
    There are many things women find much more unattractive in men than hair loss. Like it or not, the reality is that hair loss is natural and normal for males. It is what it is - and most women don't even give it a second thought. I'm going to be painfully honest about it here. Most guys are clueless about women. Highlander/Scorpion is even more clueless than normal. Highlander/Scorpion is only a lost cause if he chooses to be so. It is his choice and his choice alone.

    Turn the table around though and it is an entirely different story. Though many women do suffer with hair loss, it much more tragic for woman. Therefore it is kept silent and secret. Sure it is more acceptable for a woman to wear hair. But that wig does not repair the damage inflicted on her heart and soul.
    You're talking rubbish. If you look at all those vampire TV shows with all the good looking men - they're all NW1 or NW2. If you are NW34567 and you are a man you are ****ed.

    But thank God Histogen showed good results yesterday.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by UK_ View Post
    You're talking rubbish.
    As I said, you guys are clueless about how women feel about it. You are also more clueless than normal.

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