I feel afraid of what men think of me

[mimosa]

I'm only 24 but I'm already dealing with hair loss

I feel I'm too young for this and the majority of women my age still have thick, luxurious hair... even my 86 year old grandma has a beautiful head of thick, silver hair. I still have enough hair to make it seem "normal" to the untrained eye, but some people have commented on how thin and fine my hair is. I hate that I can basically only wear it down, because with a ponytail some "bald spots" start becoming apparent.

But what what concerns me the most is what men think, even bald men. 'Cause no one wants a bald woman! Or at least that's what I feel... like maybe hair loss makes a young woman look sick or unhealthy. I've been told I have a pretty face and a nice body (I wouldn't know since I've always had low self esteem, but I do get some more attention than I'd expect). The problem is for example that I'm always scared that a guy will notice my hair loss, for example if he touches my hair in the heat of the moment (if you know what I mean) or if he sees my hair wet, etc. I'm not even talking about a long time boyfriend or husband who would "accept me just as I am", but someone I'm just getting to know.

It makes me sad that I'll never be truly attractive, I never had that chance because as a teen I was overweight and then after that I started losing my hair when I was like 18 I think... it was all very gradual so I didn't notice until last year, and I guess I was a bit in denial too.

I haven't been diagnosed with PCOS but maybe I have it? My sister has it, and she also has pattern hair loss. I have insulin resistance which is usually related to PCOS but I have no cysts and my periods have always been regular and normal, I also don't have any other markers like hirsutism or acne, but I've heard PCOS can be mild and go unnoticed. My thyroid is also fine. I'm on the pill and it made no difference whatsoever, positive or negative.

I guess this is a bit of a rant, but for the ladies here, how have you dealt with dating, men and confidence? And if any guys are reading, if a woman is otherwise attractive and nice and kind, would you accept her thinning hair, and that with her you'd never have her change her look/style much?

I think I have AGA... I'm not sure, but I think so, because my scalp is always really tight and tense, I have seborrheic dermatitis (which I guess is due to dht) and sometimes when I move my hair around or scratch some tiny, fine, almost transparent hairs come out... when I went to the dermatologist he just said I'm balding and didn't go any further and there aren't more derms or good endocrinologists where I live, and I can't afford to go somewhere else to see better docs and pay for expensive treatments (I'm not in the US).

But on top of it I suspect I might something else, because the tiny hairs only come from the top of my head (AGA), but the rest of my hair is also thinning, not only in density but the diameter of each strand has got finer with time (I've always had thin, fine hair, but looking at old pictures I had more density and my hair seemed stronger, coarser, better texture, etc.). My hair is still shiny though and it grows really fast and really long if I don't get haircuts regularly (at one point I didn't get a haircut for 2 years and it grew from my shoulders to my hips, I'm 5'7" so I think it's quite fast).

Sorry for the rant/length, I'm just feeling a bit down because I feel like I just missed my chance to ever be attractive, 'cause let's face it, it's not like I can reverse it or even stop it