Jesus I wish I started fin sooner

[johnbath]

I'm pretty appalled that someone would chew you out as being "pathetic" for contemplating suicide in the event of baldness. We're all different, and vanity impacts us all differently. I'm a NW2.5-3 with relatively minor loss, and while I obsess over the fact that I don't have a juvenile hairline, I'm thankful every day for what I have; I don't think any of my family/friends even realize that I've lost hair (but I got a HT a few weeks ago anyway... lol).

Anyway, my point is that I understand where you're coming from, and that I have lots and lots of genuine empathy for your situation. I'm also happy that at least fin has mitigated the loss the took place. We all suffer hair loss differently, and it wreaks more collateral damage on some psyches than others. No one here should feel in a position to judge.

Because it is pathetic to want to kill yourself over having no hair. If i woke up bald tomorrow i would just get on and deal with it, yeah i wouldn't like it but you gotta make the most out of what you've got. Im not judging anybody, but the guy sounds like he needs serious help if he thinks suicide is the best way to deal with baldness. i do empathise with this dude as i know what he's going through. But so many people on here act as if their whole life depends on their hair, and it doesn't.

[BGP]

Because it is pathetic to want to kill yourself over having no hair. If i woke up bald tomorrow i would just get on and deal with it, yeah i wouldn't like it but you gotta make the most out of what you've got. Im not judging anybody, but the guy sounds like he needs serious help if he thinks suicide is the best way to deal with baldness. i do empathise with this dude as i know what he's going through. But so many people on here act as if their whole life depends on their hair, and it doesn't.

Seppuku is the only honorable response to uncontrollable baldness.

[boourns]

Because it is pathetic to want to kill yourself over having no hair. If i woke up bald tomorrow i would just get on and deal with it, yeah i wouldn't like it but you gotta make the most out of what you've got. Im not judging anybody, but the guy sounds like he needs serious help if he thinks suicide is the best way to deal with baldness. i do empathise with this dude as i know what he's going through. But so many people on here act as if their whole life depends on their hair, and it doesn't.

It's not pathetic to think that way. I feel it's understandable to feel that someone would want to kill themselves over hair loss but it doesn't mean it's normal or healthy. If you want to kill yourself there's definitely a bigger underlying issue than hair loss like possibly the attachment to how people think of you or not knowing what's really important in life. It can't be just your hair loss.

I'm not suicidal about my hair loss at all but I don't have the zest for life at this moment and I sort of feel if I were to die from something outside of my control I wouldn't really care. It must get easier though when everyone your age starts to go chrome dome. I think we're just a bunch of boys who don't want to let go of our youth completely cause if I was 60 and considered myself an old guy I really don't think I'd care about baldness.

[win200]

Look: if you think it's pathetic to contemplate suicide over hair loss, that's your prerogative. I disagree. But here's the rub: telling someone that's disclosed that they've contemplated suicide that their feelings are pathetic makes you an asshole. Period. Doing so accomplishes absolutely nothing other than potentially making the person feel ashamed and inflaming any risk that they do engage in self-harm. So if your need to feel superior outweighs the risk of aggravating someone else's alarming impulses, go right ahead. But it's a monstrously selfish thing to do.

This is an anonymous internet forum where people come to seek information, empathy, and reassurance. Why on earth do people feel the need to insult or degrade users that obviously feel depressed or vulnerable? That kind of casual cruelty simply mystifies me.

[25 going on 65]

Thanks to those of you who can identify with me, and to those who can't but empathize anyway. I truly appreciate the support and I have real empathy for you also. This is a depressing "club" to be in but it is easier than going through it alone.
The last few days have been much better for me. The emotional rollercoaster never fails to rise, fall, and rise again. If we can keep riding out the lows I think something good is on the horizon for us, a new treatment option (or more than one) that will make us glad we survived it all. Davey Jones on this forum said maybe we're all better people for having gone through this. That isn't much consolation for how we live in the present, but if some technology gives us back our hair (or enough of it to satisfy us), I think we will all be living life with a whole new outlook and sense of appreciation

[johnbath]

Look: if you think it's pathetic to contemplate suicide over hair loss, that's your prerogative. I disagree. But here's the rub: telling someone that's disclosed that they've contemplated suicide that their feelings are pathetic makes you an asshole. Period. Doing so accomplishes absolutely nothing other than potentially making the person feel ashamed and inflaming any risk that they do engage in self-harm. So if your need to feel superior outweighs the risk of aggravating someone else's alarming impulses, go right ahead. But it's a monstrously selfish thing to do.

This is an anonymous internet forum where people come to seek information, empathy, and reassurance. Why on earth do people feel the need to insult or degrade users that obviously feel depressed or vulnerable? That kind of casual cruelty simply mystifies me.

How was i pushing him to commit suicide? I was trying to get him to realise that taking his life over such a stupid issue isn't worth it. You have a go at me for that, yet when others who are like "Yeah bro i understand i might slit my wrists too" post. No one says anything, yet that's encouraging. Don't have a go at me, i don't want anyone to commit. I've had friends who had suicidal thoughts and the last thing you need is people telling them it's okay and an acceptable thing to do, so don't talk down to me.

[SoothSayer]

How was i pushing him to commit suicide? I was trying to get him to realise that taking his life over such a stupid issue isn't worth it. You have a go at me for that, yet when others who are like "Yeah bro i understand i might slit my wrists too" post. No one says anything, yet that's encouraging. Don't have a go at me, i don't want anyone to commit. I've had friends who had suicidal thoughts and the last thing you need is people telling them it's okay and an acceptable thing to do, so don't talk down to me.

Many of the posters on this blog, in addition to going bald, are likely suffering from a mental condition called body dysmorphic disorder. BDD makes its victims suffer from debilitating compulsions and obsessions relating to their physical appearance, to a degree that is inconceivable by other people.

Telling a person with BDD that it is idiotic to care so much about hair loss is about as effective as telling somebody it is stupid that they have bronchitis and they should get over it.

[25 going on 65]

My last post probably should have said "and those who can't identify but sympathize."

Yes I probably do have BDD.

[johnbath]

My last post probably should have said "and those who can't identify but sympathize."

Yes I probably do have BDD.

Dude, i wasn't trying to be a dick towards you. I'd just hate to see someone kill themselves over hairloss

[win200]

No one was accusing you of deliberately encouraging suicide. What we're saying is that when someone is obviously feeling some pretty acute depression, calling their feelings pathetic isn't going to help. I'm sure you mean well, but it's incredibly counter-productive. Someone just can't snap out of feeling depressed, so all you've done is possibly add feelings of shame by calling labeling their emotions pathetic. What most sufferers of depression and persons experiencing suicidal feelings want is for their feelings to be taken seriously and for someone to express support and sympathy. Putting them down, as greatly as you feel that a "tough love" approach is effective, simply makes them more likely to act on their inclinations. Period. There is an enormous body of work in clinical psychological that supports this contention. So please, just stop deploying the rhetoric that you've chosen. It does not work, in the overwhelming majority of cases, in discouraging self-harm; quite the opposite.

[25 going on 65]

Dude, i wasn't trying to be a dick towards you. I'd just hate to see someone kill themselves over hairloss

That remark wasn't towards you, it was just a correction to my earlier post + a response to SoothSayer's comment on bdd.