Hi all. My balding story

[boourns]

Hi all.

I think I'm really just here to be able to talk about my hair loss somewhere since I haven't been able to talk about it with anyone in person. I guess I must be really insecure about it cause I have a few friends that are noticeably going bald and they have no problem talking about it or even showing it. I on the other hand have been silent about it and have disguised my hair loss for the last 7 years.

Before hair loss

In high school I was one of those guys who was known to have the thickest head of hair. The individual strands themselves were very thick in diameter. I had massive volume and turning it up to 11 was no problem. Every barber would always comment on how difficult it was to get their comb through my hair.

In the beginning

After high school when I was 19 (1999), I was running my fingers through my hair and noticed that it wasn't the same. It didn't feel as full but I was like, "whatever." My barber still had a difficult getting his comb through. Around this time I decided to cut my hair shorter for a spikier look but never paid attention to my hairline. It wasn't until a friend was wondering why my hairline receded. He didn't use those words cause at that age we didn't know any hair loss terms. He sort of said, "why does your hair go like this and then back." I was just like, "I don't know" and didn't think much of it. I had no idea that was the beginning of hair loss.

Another couple years had gone by and we were making fun of a coworker on how his hairline was receding and he lashed back and said how mine went back pretty far too. That was when I sort of realized I could be going bald. I thought about it and thought about it and remembered something back in high school.
In biology class we did this experiment on recessive and dominant genes and one of them was a straight hairline or a wdows peak. My partner had a widows peak and mine was straight. I remember going home that day and pulling my hair back and seeing a pretty straight hairline and wishing I had a widows peak cause I thought it looked cooler. Once I remembered this I realized my hair line receded.

It did kind of worry me and the thought of going bald in my lifetime gave me a bit of anxiety but it didn't really bother me cause my hair was still thick.

Oh Crap

I had my hair coloured in 2004 and to do this with Asian hair sometimes you have to bleach the hell out of it and then add colour. My next hair cut after this my barber and I noticed how thin the frontal region of my hair was. He was shocked and I wasn't feeling too hot either. I think the bleaching agent broke off a lot of the miniaturized hair. I thought it might grow back but after a few months there wasn't much hope.


Realization

Ok, I'm definitely losing my hair at 24. This sucks. My heart sank. Slight anxiety and depression set in. Hair loss had threatened my youthful existence and at the time it felt like my life. I felt useless if I didn't have hair and that I wouldn't be able to enjoy life.

So now what? Hours and hours on the internet researching and also trying to search for info that would make me feel not so alone. Seeing that a famous celebrity was balding would even make me feel better. Thinking about who else I knew that was balding. At this age there weren't too many. Thankfully I still had an out.

If my hair was wet or styled a certain way you could easily see I was thinning in the front so I just had to make sure no one saw my hair when it was wet and I had to sport a new hair style. I noticed if I grew my hair a little longer and gelled it up it was pretty unoticeable. I just had to make sure to only gel the tips of my hair. Also I could just style the front of my hair down and it would cover any baldness. I pretty much did this for 6 years without anyone thinking I was losing my hair. On bad hair days I would just wear a hat but that was no big deal cause I wore a hat a lot before anyway. Sure it sucked when I had to get a haircut cause it would expose my baldness but other than that there wasn’t much anxiety I had to deal with.

Treatment

At 25 I decided to get on finasteride. I knew if I lost anymore hair in the front I'd be done. Everywhere else looked fine so I was thankful for that. I was hoping so badly that I would regrow some hair in the front but nothing happened. I didn't lose any either though. I decided to stay on the meds cause I didn't want to find out if the medication was working the hard way. 5 years later I still seemed to have all the hair that I had at least in the front anyway. I never monitored the back cause it was never an issue.

MPB triumphs over human complacency

5 years of taking the meds I became complacent I guess. Some stuff happened in my life and I was slacking off on the finasteride. I slacked off for about 2 years. I started skipping every other day sometimes a couple days consistently. One time I went on vacation and didn't take it for 10 days. I didn't think it was a big deal cause I didn't notice any hair loss. My mistake was I didn't monitor the crown of my head. I never thought it was an issue cause I remember it wasn't that long ago my barber was saying how thick the hair was on the top of my head. I didn't have a hand mirror to do the double mirror thing to check my crown so I never did. I decided to buy one a few months ago and when I checked my heart sank way harder than ever. There's now diffused thinning on my crown.

Present day

Well, my hair definitely needs to be a certain length for me to have any possibility of hiding my thinning. My individual hairs are naturally pretty thick so that helps. I cannot spike my hair no more. It has to be more flat for covering purposes. I must admit it does cause me much anxiety and some sadness. I just can't stop thinking about it. I think about how much happier I would be if my hair would grow back just a bit. I also know it's all in my mind. It’s probably something to do with not being able to let go of my youth yet. I still want to have the opportunity to be social with other people around my age and most of them are not noticeably balding. I realize it’s just hair and sooner or later everyone’s going to be noticeably balding but right now at 33 there’s a feeling of alienation. Plus I look a lot younger than 33. A lot of people tell me I look 25-27.

Conclusion

I am using finasteride religiously now and have ordered a sample of Caboki hair concealer. I'm pretty sure if I use just a little of that stuff my hair will look ok as long as I don't lose anymore hair. I can't say for sure what finasteride will do for my crown cause I never paid attention to that area in the past. It’s been 3 months and I’ve noticed nothing.

I always question why hair loss is affecting me the way it is. I realize it has something to do with how important I think image is to my life and how other people perceive me. It’s superficial and vain, I know. This also makes me realize I don't feel I have enough people in my life that are supportive or that are there for me no matter what. I think about how if I was married or in a serious relationship I probably wouldn't care or at least not as much. Basically, I feel my life isn't where I want it to be yet and I feel not having hair is just going to make it a lot more difficult to get there.

On the positive side, I've realized losing your hair will make your grow up faster. You kind of almost say goodbye to your immature youthful ways. I think it has made me a better person. Losing such a huge part of how society see's you on the outside makes you look inside towards other people and yourself.

I don't know. I'm 33 now and almost can't wait to be at an age when I'm considered not that young so baldness feels less shameful. Once my hair becomes too thin to have any chance of disguising it, I'm pretty sure I'm just going to shave it and liberate myself cause I know a big part of always feeling embarrassed about hair loss is due to the anxiety of always trying to hide it.

The crappy part is I feel I’ll be less accepted as a hair loss person cause I’m not tall or have a big build. They always talk about how some bald men are sexy like Bruce Willis and Michael Jordan but they look good bald. What if you look like George Costanza (Seinfeld) or a bunch of other celebrities that look worse bald. Small Asian men do not usually look good bald.

Well, I know this was a bit long and some of it probably all too familiar. Big thanks for reading and I'll probably see you out there on the forum.

[clandestine]

Waiting for an age when balding seems less shameful? I'm sorry, but this comment in itself is shameful. I'm 20 years old and experiencing hair loss; am I to feel ashamed?

Pitiful attitude you've got there, mate.

[boourns]

I don't know what to say. That's just how I feel about it. I feel crappy about my hair loss and I think I would feel better about it if I was older.

[25 going on 65]

I don't think you "should" feel ashamed about hair loss, and if you don't, thats a good thing. But as someone who sometimes feels that way, I can understand the emotion very easily. It isn't something you consciously decide to feel, it just comes up from inside. You think youre supposed to look a certain way. so many people still think of hair loss as an "old man's condition" and are judgmental towards younger guys who are thinning, as if we did something wrong to make it happen.
Also society has this attitude of "be a man and shave it off," despite that many of us cannot pull off that look well. So any attempt to compensate for thinning with styling, concealer, etc is looked down upon. As if it is somehow far worse than women using makeup, even though we're just addressing the loss of something we had instead of trying to create an illusion of something that was never there.
I dont understand how balding has such a negative perception in the public eye in this day and age. Yet trying to treat or "vanish" it is also seen in a negative way. It's stupid

[boourns]

I think for the great majority of people on this forum there must be some shame or embarrassment felt from hair loss otherwise they probably wouldn't be on this forum.

Hair loss is more difficult to accept for more people these days cause we're growing up slower than our folks. Also, we're more obsessed with image. We still like to think we're young at 30 or 40. Unfortunately, 30 is the new 20 but sometimes without the hair.

You definitely got it spot on with how masking your hair loss should be looked upon no differently than women wearing make up and all the other crap. We're just trying to look "normal." It would be perfectly acceptable if a woman gunked so much make up on her face that it looked hideous but if a guy got busted with hair concealer coming off his hair he would be talked about and laughed at. Guess it's just our culture. For now anyway.

[Soxfaninfl]

I don't know what to say. That's just how I feel about it. I feel crappy about my hair loss and I think I would feel better about it if I was older.

It doesn't feel any better at 36 when I started to notice my thinning. Losing your hair at any age is depressing. Nobody wants to go bald.

[boourns]

Weird thing is I used to have pretty unsightly acne when I was younger but it definitely did not depress me like how hair loss is depressing me. I've concluded it was due to the fact that I had no option to hide my acne and I had to just show my face where ever I went. Possibly another reason was I knew acne would go away so there was always hope but hair loss doesn't give me the same hope.

[dda]

It doesn't feel any better at 36 when I started to notice my thinning. Losing your hair at any age is depressing. Nobody wants to go bald.

At least you made it into your mid thirties dude. I would have ate horse shit to be able to keep a full head of hair into my thirties if I knew how this was affecting me now at 23, when I started losing alot at 19. I'm tired of guys on here saying "yea this is killing me in my late 30s and 40s." Ok man, be happy you made it that far. Those are the ages when hairloss is looked upon as not as a big a deal among your peers. In your early 20's however, completely different story, and i have lived that unfortunate story.

[boourns]

At least you made it into your mid thirties dude. I would have ate horse shit to be able to keep a full head of hair into my thirties if I knew how this was affecting me now at 23, when I started losing alot at 19. I'm tired of guys on here saying "yea this is killing me in my late 30s and 40s." Ok man, be happy you made it that far. Those are the ages when hairloss is looked upon as not as a big a deal among your peers. In your early 20's however, completely different story, and i have lived that unfortunate story.

Later the better for sure. But it's like being hungry cause you skipped lunch. You don't think of the starving homeless guy on the street or the starving african kid with flies all around him. You know it could be worse but you only think of yourself.

[rdawg]

At least you made it into your mid thirties dude. I would have ate horse shit to be able to keep a full head of hair into my thirties if I knew how this was affecting me now at 23, when I started losing alot at 19. I'm tired of guys on here saying "yea this is killing me in my late 30s and 40s." Ok man, be happy you made it that far. Those are the ages when hairloss is looked upon as not as a big a deal among your peers. In your early 20's however, completely different story, and i have lived that unfortunate story.

Agreed with this, it's not weird for me to see someone in their 30's-40's to have hairloss. People don't find it weird, it's almost expected. I wouldnt say it's desired by many people, of course it sucks a bit, but it's not as 'tabboo' when you're in your 30's and losing hair.

But when you have it in your late teens-early 20's it's a very weird thing and people look at you a little differently.

I myself am 20 suffering from hairloss but i still remain optimistic, would've loved to have this until my 30's, my dad still has some hair being 60 yet me and my brother started losing it like crazy around 19-20.