The world doesn't owe you anything
I was once the most popular guy here, it enabled me to get an extremely hot GF.
Popularity died with that my GF left me. I loved her. She knows I did, but does she care - no.
Past 9 months, to add to it, I have been watching my hairloss. It is agonizing and painful - and yes I have been ****ing depressed.
A part of my journey in this depressive state, is trying to understand why I am so ****ing depressed. I feel like I am bipolar at times, never felt this shit in my whole life. I often feel angry that on top of everything, I get hit by MPB. At least if MPB wasn't a problem - I could be more hopeful about the future.
Also, after frequenting these forums, and talking to other depressed individuals, I think I have finally understand why we all are depressed.
We all simply want to believe the world owes us something.
The sad truth is, the world doesn't owe us shit. That girl you like, and want to be with, has her own needs, and her own agenda, which is much more deeper then the hair on your head.
(I got into my first r/ship with a NW2, had **** all luck when I was a NW0. I also am not conventionally attractive. So I know, hair/looks is not the be all and end all.)
I think the hardest thing for every hairloss sufferer, is acceptance. To understand that it's what has been chucked at us. Yet we all cling onto hope that everything will be 'ok' with histogen etc. We have to learn to love who we are, and accept that everytime we apply for that job, chase that girl, she/it owes nothing to us.
Once we understand that, we may handle rejections better, and ironically our performance with the opposite sex will improve, as we will start to think in more objective manner with low expectations.
But I fear for many - our egos will prevent us from doing this.
Excellent post. It reflects my struggles with baldness. Honestly, life is tough and we can't be full of self pity. I've had a rough life for the past 7 years. I had everything going for me and it all crashed and burned. I've had to claw my way back and I'm still doing it. I've struggled with self pity as things hit rock bottom and recovery has been tedious. To make things worse I started to noticeably bald 2-3 years ago. I wondered what I did to deserve this.
All I know is that I will make it through everything and things will only turn out well if I try hard to make good things happen. I think those of us depressed by baldness tend to be perfectionists or those who have fallen from what they considered to be great states of life.
That is part of our life mate may be all we have to do is to stay strong. Let go of the past and focus more on the future without having worrying our hair loss. Something may come in our life that we cant expect may be its good.
I agree. The world owes us nothing. Let go of everything you used to know. Be prepared to start again.
Everything is a competition. Everything is about proving yourself, at every point in time. The past does not carry forward. What you do, at every present moment does.
I'm taking care of my life - and my passions. Paying off my house, getting better jobs, getting my education. Focusing on my passions on the side. Your perception of what you will become is important. Understand that you are not chasing your past. Life, at the margin is what counts. Be in the present, with ideas about the future. Don't chase the past. When you already have everything you need that other people chase - like money, stability, passions, inner peace, and a place in society - the girls will come. You'll have your pick, like you did. Don't be afraid to go out of your way for them. Try something different. I was so used to girls chasing me because I made them. It took effort. I'm starting again now by having this condition but every powerful thing has its modest beginnings. Make an effort to portray yourself by what you are now, and what you are becoming. You are not lost, you are not different. You are, you. Take it step by step. Sometimes we need to define ourselves by articulating it to others - or else we run the risk of letting them define us. Stand up for your frame of mind. It doesn't matter if it's not right, or if others don't believe you. That's where mindset comes from. Know why you do what you do, and be prepared to argue with others about it. You'll see your life become a blur - all those superficial things you wanted will be there - but you'll have purpose over top of that. That's where true leadership and drive comes from.
Rewire your minds, and your lifestyles. This oppression against balding people is not without precedent - look at minorities or abnormal people that went through the same. Give reasons why people should look past it. Make yourself larger than life. You become such, when people run out of stereotypes and ideas to make up their minds about your life and they actually sit and listen.
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