New relationship and want a HT - should I say anything?

[Rootman]

Hello,

First off - I'm 36 years old and started losing my hair at 31. I've been reading this forum off and on for a few years and realize how lucky I am to have made it 31 years without ever fearing hair loss. I have my father's hair - who still has a crazy amount of hair at 63. Unfortunately, I must have inherited a number of hair follicles that just won't survive the pressure from dht. I have an identical twin brother who has had very minor hair loss in comparison to myself. I read the research on the twin hair loss study and the claim that it must be the hair losing twin's lifestyle that is to blame when one loses but the other doesn't, but my brother is in rehab for drug abuse, and my lifestyle should not predispose me to hair loss (at least not any more than his does).

I tried to go on finesteride three times over the past 5 years. The first time (and each time after) I noticed that I lost almost all of my ejaculate - I had a feeling like I was dehydrated (trying not to be too graphic). But it's important to note because there was really very little subjectivity possible with this aspect of my sex life. Where it was subjective, well I had those symptoms too - low sex drive...until finally, with the third and longest run on fin, I lost all sexual feeling in my penis. I was scared shitless, but wonder how much of it was due to reading forums. I was fortunate that with discontinuing the drug, it all came back. I'm not arguing whether or not it happens, just that it happened to me. I got my DHT (called DHEA-SO4) and testosterone levels checked recently and fall in the middle for DHEA-SO4 and on the low end for testosterone ( 275 mcg/dl and 285 ng/dl, respectively). I recently heard on Spencer's show that perhaps I can space out my finestride treatment (when I did use it, it appeared to work).

Finally, I am in a new relationship (just under 3 months). My new love interest thinks I have great hair, but has never seen me after washing it (yes, I hide this) and I paint it with a good deal of dermatch (seriously, this stuff is incredible). I have enough hair to be able to mask it with makeup. I went to Bosley 2 years ago and again last year (I know, incredibly stupid - thank GOD I found you guys and Spencer). They claimed I was a NW3 or 4 (still have hair but am losing it in the hairline and crown) and recommended a 2,000 graft HT to rebuild the front hairline.

I have 3 questions for my new support community:

1) Given my experience with Fin (and that I have avg DHT levels and low testosterone)- should I try a spaced out dosage? I milligram ever 3 days?

2) Given the fact that I can hide my hair loss with makeup - should I try to hold out for better treatments (like Latisse)? I feel an HT would help me get through the next 5 years until something definite comes along. I do worry about my hair daily and it affects my adjustment/confidence greatly.

3) Should I tell my new partner? I'm afraid I'll appear vain and concerned about something that doesn't appear to be as big of a deal as it actually is?

Thank you all for your help. I am really grateful to have you!

[Rootman]

Yikes, 18 views - but no replies. Don't leave me hanging guys!

[yeahyeahyeah]

1) Given my experience with Fin (and that I have avg DHT levels and low testosterone)- should I try a spaced out dosage? I milligram ever 3 days?

2) Given the fact that I can hide my hair loss with makeup - should I try to hold out for better treatments (like Latisse)? I feel an HT would help me get through the next 5 years until something definite comes along. I do worry about my hair daily and it affects my adjustment/confidence greatly.

3) Should I tell my new partner? I'm afraid I'll appear vain and concerned about something that doesn't appear to be as big of a deal as it actually is?

Thank you all for your help. I am really grateful to have you!

1) Only you can answer this question; taking fin is an extremely personal decision.

2) There is no gaurentee your hair will stay the same, only you know of your rate of loss.

3) Yes.

[Rootman]

1) Only you can answer this question; taking fin is an extremely personal decision.

2) There is no gaurentee your hair will stay the same, only you know of your rate of loss.

3) Yes.

Thank you for the advice. I couldn't agree more. Number 3 will be a hard one. Will anyone share their experience with telling a significant other they want a HT?

[2020]

yeah there is no way you started losing at 31 and then in those next 5 years you've advanced THREE-FOUR norwoods....

[Tracy C]

If you hope this relationship will go anywhere, don't hide anything from each other.

[Rootman]

Thanks. I agree that I need to say something. Does anyone have a story to share of their own or can you point me to a thread that discusses how to tell someone you want a HT?

I'm afraid I may be slightly judged for spending a lot of money and that it might be perceived that I don't really need one.

Thoughts?

[Tracy C]

Women understand how important it is to feel good about yourself. Women also understand how hard it is to feel good about yourself sometimes. There is a really good chance she will understand. Just be you.

[Rootman]

Thank you. I really think a personal story would help. Perhaps someone could contact me privately (through my profile) to discuss telling a loved one you have problems with your image and want a HT. Thanks again!

[HectorHero]

Well, I can say that i was in your shoes once and I did in fact tell my girlfriend I wanted a HT. No sweat -- she totally understood and I was much more relaxed afterwards. So yes, I can personally say "go for it." And like Tracy said: don't hide from it!

Good luck