17 years of suffering and counting

[sickly_burnt_tree_forest]

Hey everyone, im sorta new here. I started balding at the age of 17 and im 34 now. It has been the most difficult road. The depression, low self esteem, anxiety, feelings of inferiority, the moments of ridicule burn in my mind from all the years of carrying out this horrible life sentence. When you begin to lose your hair at a young age its truely devistating and it changed me for the worse. I started drinking heavily in my late teens and doing any drugs i could find. I think it was the lonliness, while all friends i knew were going to college and out on dates i was planing my life with a hat. Im only 5'6 tall also so it makes hairloss so much more worse with everyone always looking down at your head. I have concidered suicide for so many years. I always thought maybe one day there will be a cure, so i could go to school for something that i actually enjoyed and wanted to do, instead of a job i am miserable at, however i am allowed to wear a hat and that is the reason why i work there and the fact i dont have to socially interact with very many people and as a hair loss sufferer that is a golden benefit. Its also nice to be able to cry at work without anyone seeing you. I always heard as you get older it gets easier, i guess some people can deal with it alot better than i have so far. I have held out hope for so many years that this horrible disease could be cured and i could have a chance at a life of happiness and not cowering in the shadows. I guess im having a very bad hairloss life and i am losing hope fast. Its just been too much suffering and i am having a moment of weakness where a hair loss suffer looks back on their life and thinks, is it worth it and should i go on. I am truely tired an exhausted from hairloss, it has claimed my entire life. If anyone reads this, i hope your fight is going better than mine has. I would trade the rest of my life for just a few moments of never knowing the pain and suffering of the hair loss life.