Shave Your Head, Get a Tan, and Get Your A** to the Gym

[Exodus]

Isn't it a Z Drug? Like Zopiclone?

[Davey Jones]

Sorry to be on topic, but speaking of tanning:

http://eurheartj.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2010/03/09/eurheartj.ehq069.full

Nitric oxide, even more reason to get out in the sun. Fun fact: more people die of diseases related to Vitamin D deficiency than of skin cancer.

[Dav7]

So you're bald? I know what you're thinking. It's the same thing we all thought at first: "F**K!" And probably also "WELL, S**T!", "WELL, S**T F**K", and "GOD D**M IT ALL TO S**T F**K!" This is natural, but at some point, you're gonna have to start having real thoughts again, you know? You're gonna have to tackle this. To start off and save you a lot of time right now: putting emu fat on your head, drinking a bunch of red wine, and all those other natural cures are just going to make you oily and drunk. I'm not here to bash being oily and drunk. That state certainly has it's place, but it will not give you hair. You're gonna have to start dealing with this, and I'm sad to say that after a certain point, getting your hair back is not one of your options. (For now.)

If you're just starting to bald, this post is not for you. Not yet, at least. You may still be in that first stage of hairloss. That stage where you have enough hair that you can still fool yourself. What a pleasant stage that was. But soon enough, unless your denial glands are strong, this will pass. Then there's gonna be a while after that where you'll still be able to fool others. You'll style your hair in just the right way, and you'll be accepted among the ranks of the full heads of hair. Enjoy this while you can, because it is a fleeting ability. Then, finally one day, you'll look in the mirror and you'll realize, "Well hell, I'm not foolin' anybody anymore." When you're there, come on back. This post is for you.

Firstly, realize that this game is over for your hair. The scores are in, and you lost. You gotta move on. Look at it like this: if you cut your arm open, would you just let it fester and ooze worrying about it, saying, "Well I could get it sewed up, but it wouldn't look nearly as good as it did!" Again, your arm looking as good as it did is no longer an option. It may hurt, it may not look as nice as it used to, but it's time to sew this s**t up. Your hair is no longer helping you. It is now the enemy. Kill it off, baby. On your own terms.

STEP 1: SHAVE YOUR HEAD
Two options:
1. For the faint of heart, you could always just buzz it. An eighth of an inch is sufficient, but I recommend taking all the guards off your buzzer and letting it do it's job. That is, I recommend it for the faint of heart. For the brave, it's time to get real.
2. Shave it. In the interest of doing this balls to the wall, go with a straight razor. Keep in mind, you will have to buzz it first, so this is less of an option 2 more of an "option 1a, how to be a real man." Using a straight razor serves two functions. For one, I've found that the shave is closer than with a disposable safety razor. Yet, despite this close shave, it leaves less razor burn. In fact, I've not had any, really. How it does this is beyond me, but that's that. For two, straight razor shaving is the manliest thing you can do to your head that isn't fatal (usually). You have to understand, the new sort of attractiveness you'll be shooting for is an incredibly manly sort, and that is going to have to reflect in your life.

(For buzzing, I've always had good luck with Whal beard trimmers. Pick one up at any Walmart. For straight razor shaving, start with this disposable: http://www.amazon.com/Parker-SRW-Sta...4784719&sr=8-1. I will personally vouch for the quality, and it is an inexpensive way to see if straight razor shaving is your thing. But trust me, it's your thing, you manly son of a b***h.)

STEP 2: GET A TAN
So I've spent the last paragraph remarking off and on about how it's important to be manly. This seems to contradict the idea of going tanning. It sounds like you'll be putting on your bikini and laying out with your sorority sisters to help you get all the cute frat boys. The sad thing is, I can't really argue with that. Going tanning is NOT manly. The thing that IS manly is working all day out in the fields and ending up with a tan on accident because you're a man, have work to do, and don't give a f**k. Luckily, whether you're laying out with your girls or working the fields, the tan looks exactly the same. Sometimes, when you can't be manly, you should at very least fake it.

Besides, the point of the whole thing is that bald heads look better tanned, and there is nothing more manly than doing things to get girls to bang you. No matter your thoughts on it, trust me, you need a tan. Quit thinking about it so much and go enjoy the sun.

STEP 3: GET YOUR A** TO THE GYM
Quick question, do you have a gym membership? No? Oh, good, prepare to look like s**t bald. Think of all the people that actually look good bald. This is a good exercise in and of itself, because it assures you that looking good bald is at least possible. But now, since you're picturing Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, and The Rock (post head shave) anyway, what do these people look like from the neck down? THAT is what you need to be shooting for. Get your daily planner out and go ahead and mark out an hour or so of everyday. You work out now, and it's as simple as that. Also, while you have your daily planner out, throw your f**king planner out. Having a daily planner is not manly. It's just a glorified diary, young lady.

(I'd recommend starting with with Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength program. But you're gonna want to learn as much as you can about working out. Www.bodybuilding.com is nice, though a little commercial now a days. Also, trust no one. Everyone has an opinion and 99% are retarded. And take protein. Simple as that, you have to do that now. Go with this: http://www.truenutrition.com/p-1097-...25lbs.aspx?t=n. There are no additives, and it's the best protein/dollar price I've ever seen, outside of short term sales. Look for discount codes on Google.)

STEP 4: GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE
The bad thing about this is that following these steps will not assure that you look as good as you used to. Just like sewing up your cut arm is not going to assure you don't show some scars. But like the stitches, these steps will make you look as good as you possibly can given the current circumstances. Yes, that sucks. It f**king sucks. I know that. But thinking about that is not what's going to make you look better. Shaving your head, getting a tan, and hitting the gym is what's going to do that. You're just gonna have to play the cards you were dealt, because that's all we can do in life. And remember, as the great poet Lil' Wayne says:

"All this bullshit, it makes me strong motherf**ker."

Get out there and deal with it, you strong motherf**ker.

Good post. although I guess hair transplants are still an option, perhaps the only true option for us balders and baldies - still though very, very expensive unfortunately. I agree with what you are saying here though, I guess the shaved head/ keep fit look is a million times better than having a horse shoe on top and a beer belly down below. I guess it's simply making the best of a bad situation.

[Benjaymin]

Just wanted to thank you Davey Jones, you sir have inspired me to face baldness head on and not to be a little bitch about it, even though we all have those times, i know i do. I will now be going to the gym, good day

[drybone]

The Davey Jones post is inspiring. Good job.

[Borealis]

Fantastic opening post by Davey Jones, really made me laugh! I'm 19 now, suspect I'll probably be completely bald by the time I'm 25 if I don't do anything. Yeah going bald sucks but Jesus, some people in here need a slap round the face! They act as though going bald is a death sentence! It may decrease your chances of getting some girls, but in turn it may increase your chances of getting others! Plenty of women want a more masculine man who doesn't care about their hair!

I'd definitely agree that having a good body is a necessity to looking good bald. I've been going to the gym since I was 13 but I've got more of an athletic body, if not slightly more muscular.

By all means, do everything you can to keep your hair if it means enough to you. Most people do look better with hair. However, it's completely wrong for people to judge others for choosing to go bald over risking their health and wellbeing with some potentially dangerous medicines.

I don't mean to offend anyone with this post by the way, trying to be positive if anything!

[BigThinker]

Fantastic opening post by Davey Jones, really made me laugh! I'm 19 now, suspect I'll probably be completely bald by the time I'm 25 if I don't do anything. Yeah going bald sucks but Jesus, some people in here need a slap round the face! They act as though going bald is a death sentence! It may decrease your chances of getting some girls, but in turn it may increase your chances of getting others! Plenty of women want a more masculine man who doesn't care about their hair!

I'd definitely agree that having a good body is a necessity to looking good bald. I've been going to the gym since I was 13 but I've got more of an athletic body, if not slightly more muscular.

By all means, do everything you can to keep your hair if it means enough to you. Most people do look better with hair. However, it's completely wrong for people to judge others for choosing to go bald over risking their health and wellbeing with some potentially dangerous medicines.

I don't mean to offend anyone with this post by the way, trying to be positive if anything!

Well said, sir.

For me, balding was motivation to get fit. I've always worked out, but never took it very seriously until my hair loss began to trouble me. If we have to lose our hair, we might as well boost other facets of our life to "compensate". Best case scenario: fin retains my hair, and I'm still more fit than I was before hair loss. Worst case scenario: still lose my hair, and I'm more fit than I was.

[Proper]

Well said, sir.

For me, balding was motivation to get fit. I've always worked out, but never took it very seriously until my hair loss began to trouble me. If we have to lose our hair, we might as well boost other facets of our life to "compensate". Best case scenario: fin retains my hair, and I'm still more fit than I was before hair loss. Worst case scenario: still lose my hair, and I'm more fit than I was.

I like the way you think. Going bald isn't that big of a deal breaker. Going bald is inevitable and if it happens, why kill yourself over it? Something that is inevitable to so many people shouldn't be that big of a deal to one person but I guess its all in the mind, the world must revolve around the one (being egotistical mainly).

I know when I think about it happening to myself, its bothersome to some degree but when I see others in that situation, I think nothing of it, like I don't say, "Holy shit, its the end of the world for you dude." It just looks like another guy and I am somewhat convince I'm super critical about appearances to the point where I buy clothes and go get it tailored the same day. If it doesn't fit right, I won't wear it. I even buy 50-100 dollar jackets and spend more on the tailoring than the jacket/coat for that matter. So if that doesn't phase me, I doubt it would for girls or anyone for that matter. (But I still look at people's hair just to see how it goes overall with the way they look.)

[clandestine]

bump

10blox

[Henkeh91]

"What doesn't kill us make us stronger"

[Fixed by 35]

This bullshit again? Seriously, once I've finished working out for an hour and getting a tan for an hour, what time will I have left for me? It seems like an awful waste of life to give up all my free time to look like a meat head.

My recommendation would be give up on the aesthetics. Certainly, if you're into ****ing about at the gym then by all means carry on, but if you're not then just cut your hair short and carry on doing what YOU want to do.

The worst thing about hair loss is the loss of control and identity and it certainly doesn't help matters much when a prescriptive formula is handed down that gives the victims of hair loss no choice as to how to deal with it. It doesn't matter if you advocate shaving heads (I've never seen a man with a shaved head who I would like to look like. Ever); taking drugs or topicals (expensive and insufficiently effective) or the full meat head emulation. It's important to present choices and not to harp on about any approach being a solution.

I'm certainly well aware of my options, I've been noticeably losing hair for ten years after all. First of all, 'There's Nothing Healthy About a Tan' springs to mind. So that's out. Second of all, the gym is expensive and the opportunity cost of an hour at the gym is an hour of study or leisure time. So that's out too. As for the shaved head, I already resent having to shave my face every day so increasing the surface area, what, four fold? Forget it. And what about drugs? Why would I want to pay all that money for drugs of limited effectiveness when more viable solutions are around the corner?

I'll stick to my own choices (which don't include a combover, but that's fine too, it's an individual choice to make). That means cut short once a month, no gym and certainly no ****ing tan, real or orange!

[UK_]

I dont know about new approaches being just around the corner anymore, not until we hear some solid news from Aderans, it's been over a year since they've given us an official update on their progress, awful really.

[Davey Jones]

Fixed by 35, you really don't have 3 or 4 hours to become healthier? In a 168 hour week? No one said become a "meathead." Fit, healthy, overall happier. I'd recommend it to anyone, bald or not. If less than 2% of your time is too much to part with, you should still find some other strenuous activity to keep you healthy, preferably one that you enjoy.

And anyone that says there's nothing healthy about a tan is tragically uneducated about the health benefits of sun exposure. If you quit being a **** for a second, you could look into it. Though I know your time is too precious for that.

Yeah, cool your jets, man. You act like a discussion about an option is a personal attack on you. You know what you need? Some exercise, a little sun, and a shave.

[Shan]

Certain people can pull off the bald look perfectly. Michael Chiklis was brilliant portraying Vic Mackey in The Shield. Don't know if he could pull it of with hair.

[NotBelievingIt]

And anyone that says there's nothing healthy about a tan is tragically uneducated about the health benefits of sun exposure. If you quit being a **** for a second, you could look into it. Though I know your time is too precious for that.

Well scientifically and medically its not the tan, its the vitamin D your body creates being exposed to the sun. That's why people living 'in the north' are recommended to take supplemental vitamin D, at least in the winter months.

Vitamin D is also a testosterone booster, hence the reason hair grows faster in the summer.

So to add scare factors to all you freakos who latch onto the stupidest things, stay away from the sun and Vitamin D supplements or you'll go bald (faster)!!