Shave Your Head, Get a Tan, and Get Your A** to the Gym

[mpalardy]

This bullshit again? Seriously, once I've finished working out for an hour and getting a tan for an hour, what time will I have left for me? It seems like an awful waste of life to give up all my free time to look like a meat head.

My recommendation would be give up on the aesthetics. Certainly, if you're into ****ing about at the gym then by all means carry on, but if you're not then just cut your hair short and carry on doing what YOU want to do.

The worst thing about hair loss is the loss of control and identity and it certainly doesn't help matters much when a prescriptive formula is handed down that gives the victims of hair loss no choice as to how to deal with it. It doesn't matter if you advocate shaving heads (I've never seen a man with a shaved head who I would like to look like. Ever); taking drugs or topicals (expensive and insufficiently effective) or the full meat head emulation. It's important to present choices and not to harp on about any approach being a solution.

I'm certainly well aware of my options, I've been noticeably losing hair for ten years after all. First of all, 'There's Nothing Healthy About a Tan' springs to mind. So that's out. Second of all, the gym is expensive and the opportunity cost of an hour at the gym is an hour of study or leisure time. So that's out too. As for the shaved head, I already resent having to shave my face every day so increasing the surface area, what, four fold? Forget it. And what about drugs? Why would I want to pay all that money for drugs of limited effectiveness when more viable solutions are around the corner?

I'll stick to my own choices (which don't include a combover, but that's fine too, it's an individual choice to make). That means cut short once a month, no gym and certainly no ****ing tan, real or orange!

Fixed, I've looked back on what you've been posting here for a while, and I think often that you're quite insightful. Here, for instance, you're damn right about the loss of the sense of identity and control that MPB can lead to, particularly in men younger than myself (and yourself, I'm presuming) who don't quite even know who they are as adults.

Moreover, I'm certainly with you in thinking that MPB should not coerce a young man to adopt the shaven/buzzed musclehead look, and I've advised elsewhere that we really ought to stop giving this as the default balding advice.

All that said, however, I have the suspicion about you that if it weren't balding setting you off, it would be something else--and we've all a thousand little things to be insecure about, but often one big one we hitch the rest to. Moreover, I doubt you're alone in this; I'd bet most younger, balding men are hitching all of their problems onto balding because it's just more visible than others. Do we all think that we'll get through life completely free of troubles, minor or major, always looking like we did when we were 20?

Some sage advice was given me long ago, that I think I have to repeat here: own your life; it's a gift. Challenges are given us that we may rise to them; setbacks are lessons that we needed to learn. And something so minor as baldness? Most men have to deal with it at some point in their lives. And it doesn't look as bad as you might think.

So if you think being a shaven gym rat is lying about who you are, then by all means don't do so. I know I never would. But who are you? Who are any of us? We're all a lot more than merely "a balding guy." When you figure that out, I honestly think you'll care a lot less about something so superficial.

[NotBelievingIt]

The buzz/shave & gym thing is the route you need to take at a certain point if you aren't going to try to save or cover it up with transplants.

Every guy should lift anyway, regardless of hair loss. Why has global testosterone fallen over the decades? Less and less manual labor jobs and more and more desk jockey jobs.

[mpalardy]

The buzz/shave & gym thing is the route you need to take at a certain point if you aren't going to try to save or cover it up with transplants.

Every guy should lift anyway, regardless of hair loss. Why has global testosterone fallen over the decades? Less and less manual labor jobs and more and more desk jockey jobs.

Another groundless assertion without any attempt to respond to what it is that I'm trying to convey. Now I think the advice given here is good for some men. But good for some is not universally good.

I'm 33 years old and a college instructor and writer. I first noticed hair thinning at 25. It's progressed rather slowly, and I only noticed seemed to notice it again when I was photographed for a driver's license on my 32nd birthday. Was it a little shocking? Yes, indeed. But even still, it's only Norwood 2.5-3A, roughly similar to what a lot of men my age are experiencing--not bald, per se, but rather with a larger forehead. Now, I also have had a full beard for most of my adult life, especially full now. What have I decided to do? Very little: just growing my beard a bit longer, visiting my barber a little more often, and keeping the thin flyaways on my crown in place with some stiff pomade. Why? Because I look professorial, distinguished, and, with my beard, a little bohemian. All of these work in my favour in my career--and, surprisingly, among the ladies as well. Interestingly, among the many men in my social set who are showing the balding gene, I can't count a single shaven head, but rather a good many beards on generally lean and strong men. I, for one, tend to keep lean and strong through mere calisthenics.

So I must stress that a man oughtn't to do what would make him more insecure, but must factor age, occupation, social set, and so forth into his response to hair loss--which is, for the sake of our sanity and of our wallets, best accepted as an inevitability. If we fret so much about it now, we'll be basket-cases as we age further. What we all seem to want and need is confidence, and nothing builds confidence so much as acceptance, whatever guise that might take.

[NotBelievingIt]

"Groundless assertion" I do not think that means what you think it means.

I stated what is called an opinion.

If you can get away with not keeping your hair thin while it balds away into a horseshoe and you can actually pull off a power donut, well, fine, more power to you.

The 'transition' is what matters most. Not every guy just recedes their hair line, some of us are diffuse thinners. My hair line has barely budged over the last 5 years, yet I've certainly lost a lot of density on my head. At some point that density is going to be even less and the top of my head will look ridiculous - shaved or very close buzz all around is the *only* solution at that point if you actually have any care of your appearance. Theres a guy at work who has a similar thing going on and it drives me crazy he lets his hair grow longer and the top of his head looks terrible.

What we all seem to want and need is confidence, and nothing builds confidence so much as acceptance, whatever guise that might take.

True confidence comes from within, not from outside. Social status drives confidence, but if you have little to begin with it will not matter what social status you have. Everyone wears masks to cover up true feelings, so how someone behaves 'in public' does not necessarily reflect their true feelings.

[mpalardy]

OK, I'm hearing you: diffuse loss outside of one of the standard Norwood progressions (for which there are all sorts of balding hairstyles) is a difficult thing to deal with stylewise.

By acceptance, though, I'm not really meaning anything to do with others. We should all be old enough to know that, no matter how humble or affable our manner, there will always be someone somewhere who will have a problem with us. What I mean to say is that we just ought to accept our condition as a part of ourselves, rather than going to absurd lengths to conceal it, mask it, and so forth, for in so doing we are only denying it--and denying our true nature, both to ourselves and others. In short, we come to live an inauthentic lie.

So, yes, remember that we are social beings, and so be courteous, mind social mores, and so forth. But trying to be someone you're not, for whatever reason, will only damage your psyche in the long run. And if you're ever a little insecure about the truth, just remember that we all are somewhat. Offer it up and live boldly henceforward.

[Aames]

OK, I'm hearing you: diffuse loss outside of one of the standard Norwood progressions (for which there are all sorts of balding hairstyles) is a difficult thing to deal with stylewise.

By acceptance, though, I'm not really meaning anything to do with others. We should all be old enough to know that, no matter how humble or affable our manner, there will always be someone somewhere who will have a problem with us. What I mean to say is that we just ought to accept our condition as a part of ourselves, rather than going to absurd lengths to conceal it, mask it, and so forth, for in so doing we are only denying it--and denying our true nature, both to ourselves and others. In short, we come to live an inauthentic lie.

So, yes, remember that we are social beings, and so be courteous, mind social mores, and so forth. But trying to be someone you're not, for whatever reason, will only damage your psyche in the long run. And if you're ever a little insecure about the truth, just remember that we all are somewhat. Offer it up and live boldly henceforward.

Your logic is so backwards it is not even funny. Do you think you're being noble or honorable by walking around being a laughingstock? Wearing a horseshoe pattern is NOT aesthetic or desirable by any stretch of the imagination. You can pretend you're being dignified all you want but the fact remains that you would look infinitely better and more attractive if you had the foresight to correct your loss or you shaved. But go ahead, look up some lame politician with a horseshoe as your defense. Pathetic.

[Aames]

OK, I'm hearing you: Autism outside of one of the standard mental illnesses (for which there are all sorts of meds) is a difficult thing to deal with healthwise.

By acceptance, though, I'm not really meaning anything to do with others. We should all be old enough to know that, no matter how humble or affable our manner, there will always be someone somewhere who will have a problem with us. What I mean to say is that we just ought to accept our condition as a part of ourselves, rather than going to absurd lengths to conceal it, mask it, and so forth, for in so doing we are only denying it--and denying our true nature, both to ourselves and others. In short, we come to live an inauthentic lie.

So, yes, remember that we are social beings, and so be courteous, mind social mores, and so forth. But trying to be someone you're not, for whatever reason, will only damage your psyche in the long run. And if you're ever a little insecure about the truth, just remember that we all are somewhat. Offer it up and live boldly henceforward.

Enjoy life.

Cannot wait for response.

[mpalardy]

Your logic is so backwards it is not even funny. Do you think you're being noble or honorable by walking around being a laughingstock? Wearing a horseshoe pattern is NOT aesthetic or desirable by any stretch of the imagination. You can pretend you're being dignified all you want but the fact remains that you would look infinitely better and more attractive if you had the foresight to correct your loss or you shaved. But go ahead, look up some lame politician with a horseshoe as your defense. Pathetic.

Aames, the only people who might laugh about it are the self-loathing balding men populating forums like this. I've never had a negative comment about my hairstyle, only compliments. The only people who really hate the balding look are, apparently, balding men themselves. So go ahead, dump your life savings on painful or risky treatments; I'll be saving my money. Shave your head every morning and look like something out of science fiction, rationalizing to yourself that you look like some forgettable B-movie actor; I'll be doing what I've always done. Moreover, I'd be willing to take a bet that I (and the thousands upon thousands of balding men who don't commiserate on online forums, but rather own their look and let it go naturally) would be a lot happier and more confident than you.

I just looked at your "Dutasteride Log," by the way. You're not balding, Aames. Maybe the most modest of temple recession, and that's it. You just seem horrified and willing to go to great lengths to make sure that you don't bald. Your revulsion is quite abnormal, you know. Might I suggest talking to a psychotherapist?

[BigThinker]

It's one pill a day, for which more than 95% of people have no side-effects. It also happens to cost me less than €100 a year.

Haha. No kidding. If you can't afford finasteride, then hair is the least of your problems.

I can't believe that we even have to defend finasteride. I'm having the hardest time comprehending how people can invest their time and energy into defaming it.

[clandestine]

Haha. No kidding. If you can't afford finasteride, then hair is the least of your problems.

I can't believe that we even have to defend finasteride. I'm having the hardest time comprehending how people can invest their time and energy into defaming it.

It's mostly the sides.

Most men are fine with it. A subset, like myself, experience sides. This is unfortunate, but a reality. If it works for someone, great.

The struggle remains for those who it doesn't work for. Those of us with lesser options. This is we strive, still, for a cure.

[mpalardy]

Finasteride, transplant, whatever... My point is not to defame any specific treatment. Consider, though, that the hair you save or regrow will turn grey eventually. There's no getting around aging.

And I'm often inclined to think that those who are harping on treating their balding now will just have problems with other age-related appearance issues further on down the line, not seeing how they can be used to their personal or professional benefit. Indeed, I've known women, many of them quite the lookers, who've been less vain.

In short, grow up and man up, fellas. Either focus on bearing your age well (as men have done for aeons) or learn to sing castrato; it's all equal to me. But if you can't come to a sort of peace with something so paltry as balding, I doubt you'll ever be able to come to peace with much.

[ravegrover]

Either focus on bearing your age well (as men have done for aeons)

I think most men here are troubled not by balding, but by pre-mature balding (losing hair in ones 20s and 30s). As hard as one may try, it is tough to shake that off.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Classic stage one denial / bargaining.

1. Grey hairs look AMAZING on men over 40. Have you seen the former German president Christian Wulff? Now imagine him bald... Exactly. It makes him look smart and sophisticated. By the way, if you really are anti-greys there are these things called hair dyes.... SHAKE MY HEAD. SMH. S-M-H.

2. What if? And what if you don't do anything about your hair and still care about age-related stuff? Your argument is stupid as ****. Firstly, skin ageing is 90% environmental. Anyone who bothers to spend a month or two doing serious research can do a really good of job stopping the effects of ageing with an easy regimen. You are pretending like this is consuming our lives, but it's not. As soon as I get my HT or regrow a juvenile hairline with duta I'll be out of here. When all is said and done I'll be taking one pill a day to stop hairloss, along with apply a few lotions to protect my skin from ageing and getting damaged... along with preventing skin cancer. I hope you enjoy your extra ten-minutes per day and €100 per year that you have on me, because that small investment will make me look decades younger than you.

Your logic is just so piss poor it hurts my head. Should I stop taking my mutli-vitamins and working out because one day I'll lose my gains and become unfit through old age? Should I do anything because it might not last forever? Why don't we all just give up?

3. Balding is very traumatising to a lot of people on here simply because it's often premature and drastically altering to one's appearance and style. Anything that dramatically changes one's appearance is likely to cause concern. It's not petty or pathetic, regardless of what you seem to think. Or if I'm wrong maybe you can go and tell that to cancer patients. Or are people who significantly scar their faces being petty too at their sudden change of appearance?

Finally you're totally ignoring the fact that for my tiny investment I'll be gaining a significantly greater quality of life. I'll be looking younger, attracting more attractive partners, be treated better by society and so forth.

There are literally no down sides to what I'm doing .. let alone for someone taking FINASTERIDE ALONE. Jesus.

I'll consider your argument the day a lack of €100 and 10 minutes per day significantly alter my life in a negative way. But until then you'll just be another NW7 justifying why he should be lazy and not take control of his life through a fallacious appeal to some vague notion of what's "natural".

I agree with all of this.

Balding is shit, no other way to put it.

But the trouble is highlander. There is not a lot we can do right now, in terms of cosmetic surgery it is the worse one as it is progressive.

I can also say on behalf of him, after having extensive surgery on my face. Sometimes mental health can be improved by having the problems tackled head on.

[yeahyeahyeah]

True, but if finasteride does work for you then there really is no argument. It's such an incredibly easy, efficient, practical way to stop or significantly slow hair loss.

A lot of what ifs with propecia.

Also - we don't know what damage it will do to our bodies in the long term.

[mpalardy]

Classic stage one denial / bargaining.

1. Grey hairs look AMAZING on men over 40. Have you seen the former German president Christian Wulff? Now imagine him bald... Exactly. It makes him look smart and sophisticated. By the way, if you really are anti-greys there are these things called hair dyes.... SHAKE MY HEAD. SMH. S-M-H.

2. What if? And what if you don't do anything about your hair and still care about age-related stuff? Your argument is stupid as ****. Firstly, skin ageing is 90% environmental. Anyone who bothers to spend a month or two doing serious research can do a really good of job stopping the effects of ageing with an easy regimen. You are pretending like this is consuming our lives, but it's not. As soon as I get my HT or regrow a juvenile hairline with duta I'll be out of here. When all is said and done I'll be taking one pill a day to stop hairloss, along with apply a few lotions to protect my skin from ageing and getting damaged... along with preventing skin cancer. I hope you enjoy your extra ten-minutes per day and €100 per year that you have on me, because that small investment will make me look decades younger than you.

Your logic is just so piss poor it hurts my head. Should I stop taking my mutli-vitamins and working out because one day I'll lose my gains and become unfit through old age? Should I do anything because it might not last forever? Why don't we all just give up?

3. Balding is very traumatising to a lot of people on here simply because it's often premature and drastically altering to one's appearance and style. Anything that dramatically changes one's appearance is likely to cause concern. It's not petty or pathetic, regardless of what you seem to think. Or if I'm wrong maybe you can go and tell that to cancer patients. Or are people who significantly scar their faces being petty too at their sudden change of appearance?

Finally you're totally ignoring the fact that for my tiny investment I'll be gaining a significantly greater quality of life. I'll be looking younger, attracting more attractive partners, be treated better by society and so forth.

There are literally no down sides to what I'm doing .. let alone for someone taking FINASTERIDE ALONE. Jesus.

I'll consider your argument the day a lack of €100 and 10 minutes per day significantly alter my life in a negative way. But until then you'll just be another NW7 justifying why he should be lazy and not take control of his life through a fallacious appeal to some vague notion of what's "natural".

Look, buddy, I'm in perfect control of my life. Are you equating playing hormonal roulette with finasteride to life control? I have some hair loss, but am rising in my profession, popular among the fair sex, and treated far more estimably by others than I was when I was in my 20s--and I don't need a pill, transplant, or Kojak-cut to do it. We've all got to play the cards we've been dealt to our advantage, so make those signs of maturity and, hopefully, wisdom, work for you. If you think your quality of life will be low unless you have the hairline of a schoolboy, then I'm just going to have to say I pity you.

For all your talk about looking young, it seems like you're the one in denial here, Highlander--denial of the fact that we age. Why would you want to look decades younger than you actually are? Why, when your peers are receiving the laurels of age and respect, would you still want to look like a metrosexual teenager? This sort of thought that we should be young forever boggles me...