Baldness and getting girls

[sausage]

How many people on here have truly been affected in terms of getting a girlfriend on here? Either because they think girls reject them cos they are bald or because they have no confidence in going up to girls?

Also if you have a girlfriend who does not care about your baldness or even likes your baldness then let us know.

I need to get out of this hell hole and sort my life out. I am sure I could get an ok looking girl if I just got myself out there meeting girls. I myself have become a recluse and don't meet any. As I have said b4 on here, several balding guys my age that I know of are happily in relationships.....

There is one girl I met years ago that I would love to meet up with but can only contact her on facebook as I have not seen her for years. It sucks to ask for a date via Facebook but thats the way it is. How I am going to ask I don't know. Anyone recommend anything? I added her a few weeks back but have not posted on her wall or in private. I think it would be better to try to get a conversation going on her wall instead of out of the blue private messaging her saying I fancy the pants off her. I think she may find that a bit creepy. Although if a girl messaged me saying so I don't think I'd be creeped I'd probably be flattered.

Anyway let me know what you think is the best way to approach this.

Also if anyone knows of any good ways to meet new people especially girl then let me know.

Also anyone tried dating sites or are they pretty much a scam?

Cheers.

[gmonasco]

I know that telling someone who is struggling with feeling self-conscious about his looks to act confidently may seem as pointlessly counterproductive as telling a frightened person not to panic or a nervous person not to worry, but for the most part the ultimate answer is as simple as that.

One of the most (if not the most) attractive qualities a person can possess is confidence. If you can get to the point of carrying yourself with confidence, you'd be surprised how little your perception of your looks actually matters to other people. I know it's a very hard lesson to assimilate (much less act on), but we are far and away our own worst critics -- other people truly pay little attention to aspects of ourselves that we obsess about.

The fact is that the world doesn't run screaming from bald(ing) men. Men of all ages and sizes and shapes (not just the extraordinarily rich, handsome, or famous ones) who are experiencing hair loss still manage to find and maintain loving relationships with girlfriends, wives, etc.

If your goal is some superficial hookup with a "hot young girl," then sure, you may face rejection for superficial reasons like a receding hairline. If your goal is a more substantive relationship, then it is truly within your grasp -- but you are unlikely to reach it as long as you allow yourself to remain convinced that the amount of hair on your head, rather than the person you are, is all that matters.

[Winston]

That’s good advice! Confidence is far more important then you can imagine. Women are drawn to it and even if you don’t look as good as you would like, there are many women willing to see past that to find a strong man.

[Still-Researching]

My personal experience is that I have suffered from receding hairline since my mid 20'ies, but never had any problems with hooking up/dating etc. so know for a fact that it is more attitude and confidence than looks. When my hairloss was really visible in my early thirties, most women at same age was much more into your job, titles, educational background and similar (incl income :-)

Like in many other things in life - your attitude and confidence can get you a long way, whether it is with women, with your boss or just to get a job.

If you are thinking limiting thought about yourself - you are using your mind against you - so start appreciating all you got and all that you can get - if you want - and make it work for you...

For you questions on dating sites/facebook - no clue... too old and too married :-)

[Jotronic]

The way to go about this is to try and catch up with her with a few private messages. Ask her how she's been. Ask about mutual friends. Get her talking about herself because that is the way to get a woman to open up, by asking her about HER. If you can get an instant message session going then all the better but don't be too open about yourself. Women love when a guy is really curious about them but HATE when men talk about themselves too much or, even worse, start to unload about their issues. It is easy to do that if you start to share too much.

Also, don't do too much online because it is far too easy to get sucked into the friend zone. If this happens you may as well hand over your man card because nothing you do afterwards will spring you from this prison. No, a few messages back and forth then ask her if you can buy her a coffee. If she is open to that then be sure not to hang out in the coffee shop with her too long because you'll want to get her to go for a walk. This is often times a more comfortable scenario than in a coffee shop because coffee shops can seem too restrictive or confining, especially if they are busy. It's also harder to use the ether rag you'll have hidden in your inside pocket and to drag her unconscious or semi-concious body out to the van without being spotted. But I digress.

Ok, obviously not the last part but everything before that is for real. Be sincere but not sappy. Be GENUINELY interested but not to the point that it is obviously fake. If all goes well don't call for two days (assuming you get her #) because you do not want to seem desperate or clingy but wait no more than two days because you don't want to seem disinterested. God, I could go on but that is a good first start. Oh, do yourself a favor and get the Hell out of your house. Don't be a recluse, don't be a hermit because the more you stay in the less you'll go out thus you will not meet anyone. It can be difficult, I know, but you have to force yourself. It also helps to make new friends by joining a local gym, go online and find social groups, hiking groups, whatever. And the last thing is to not worry about your hair. Just be clean, with a nice haircut, nice clothes and a nice attitude and if you are a good guy then it will come through. If I can date as bald NW6 save for the very pluggy hairline when I was in my mid and late twenties then anyone can.

Another option; do you and she have mutual friends? If so then you can organize a meet up. Maybe a party or on a more subtle level just a hike or a bbq or anything else like that. In fact, women like guys that can be a host and/or cook so if you can or are willing to learn then host a bbq and invite her over with some other mutual friends and obviously only invite other couples so that no one will move in on your territory. Ok, that's enough for now but this only scratches the surface. Good luck!

[Follicle Death Row]

This is how it's done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqLtt4vzgvM

It's a skit on the google superbowl ad from 2010.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ4unnMgiSQ

[clandestine]

I know that telling someone who is struggling with feeling self-conscious about his looks to act confidently may seem as pointlessly counterproductive as telling a frightened person not to panic or a nervous person not to worry, but for the most part the ultimate answer is as simple as that.

One of the most (if not the most) attractive qualities a person can possess is confidence. If you can get to the point of carrying yourself with confidence, you'd be surprised how little your perception of your looks actually matters to other people. I know it's a very hard lesson to assimilate (much less act on), but we are far and away our own worst critics -- other people truly pay little attention to aspects of ourselves that we obsess about.

The fact is that the world doesn't run screaming from bald(ing) men. Men of all ages and sizes and shapes (not just the extraordinarily rich, handsome, or famous ones) who are experiencing hair loss still manage to find and maintain loving relationships with girlfriends, wives, etc.

If your goal is some superficial hookup with a "hot young girl," then sure, you may face rejection for superficial reasons like a receding hairline. If your goal is a more substantive relationship, then it is truly within your grasp -- but you are unlikely to reach it as long as you allow yourself to remain convinced that the amount of hair on your head, rather than the person you are, is all that matters.

This is great advice.

[shri1026]

just my opinion

girls no longer interest me. I prefer getting my hair back than getting a girlfriend..baldness can impact one's chances of selection in an interview.

[Still-Researching]

shri1026,
I have a job a job where I hire several people a month, and hairloss is not on any recruiters mind, but of course if you let your attitude and confidence suffer, it will have same effect as with the girls.

Use you mind as a friend and not put limits on yourself and thereby letting your mind become your enemy.

Good luck with the interviews...

[sausage]

Ok, well I will try to get myself out there for all the ladies to enjoy, thanks for the advice. Much appreciated.

In relation to the girl I like....I now have some potential Facebook scenarios for you guys.....I have written what I think of each scenario, let me know your thoughts.....

She posts a photo of herself on Facebook

I reply saying something like 'so pretty'. Is this creepy, I have seen others post similar messages to this on her photo pages which sometimes gets a 'thank you' or some sort of reply. As I have not seen her for 3-4 years then would it be out of the blue to add her and then comment on a photo, is it a bit too stalkerish?

She comments on something generally, like something in the news or something that happend to her. Like 'I went to London today', or 'Bloody petrol prices'.

I reply saying: 'Cool, how was London, where did you go?'
or 'Yeah petrol prices suck, and I bet your good at sucking ****' (This is a joke) sorry just could not help it, been watching too much Inbetweeners (UK people will understand)

I try to think up something to write on my own Facebook Wall which will have something in common with her, something she may be interested in and therefore I may get a response from her:

I know what she likes from looking at her 'likes' and her general comments.

Say for example she likes a particular band, sport, tv programme. She also likes cute animals maybe I need to find a photo of a cute animal and post it on my wall....and hope for a response. But I will probably look like a right gay for posting a photo of a kitten in a bow tie.

I simply just write her a private message saying I like her. Or I send her a private message just generally asking how she is and what she's doing these days.

The latter would still make it pretty obvious that I like her which may not be the best way to go and its better to build up a conversation on her wall instead as a private message would have been thought about much more and is more personal. I think its maybe a bit too direct.


I missed the perfect opportunity the other day when she openly asked if anyone wanted to go climbing with her. YES I know I screwed up as I did not reply, not sure why, I guess I was not ready.

[clandestine]

You're way over thinking this, mate. Let me be the first to say it is starting to get creepy.

[sausage]

You're way over thinking this, mate. Let me be the first to say it is starting to get creepy.

I am actually a 50 year old man who lives in the woods and I eat badgers and Squirrels.

[DAVE52]

girls no longer interest me. I prefer getting my hair back than getting a girlfriend..baldness can impact one's chances of selection in an interview.

I doubt it
The recruitr is looking for the best candidtae , hair or no hair .
If you have the qualifications and show you are confident then your chances f getting the job are much better
If you go into the interview thinking you have no chance because you're bald , then it will show .

Then are milliosn of people who buzz or shze their heads.

They may do it by choice or because their hair is thinnign and they've accepted their fate

We have to be confident in who we are .........

[sausage]

If your being interviewed for a job as a model, or a air hostess then probably.

Dustbin man - you should be ok.

[mattj]

I missed the perfect opportunity the other day when she openly asked if anyone wanted to go climbing with her. YES I know I screwed up as I did not reply, not sure why, I guess I was not ready.

There you go! The climbing opportunity may have passed, but it still leaves you an opening. You can say that you regret not taking her up on the chance to go climbing as it's something you want to do but don't know anyone to go with. You're presenting yourself as having a shared interest and suggesting that she's someone who can help you out with it (without seeming desperate).

Just don't go out and buy a load of climbing gear, dress up in it and then put a photo on your profile as some kind of 'bait'. Don't pretend to know more about climbing than you really do.