Dreaming of hair
Not sure where else to post this, and I'm sorry if it's not too cohesive. Just some thoughts I've had on my mind for awhile.
Sometimes I have these dreams where I have all my hair back - just this beautiful NW1 mane of thick hair like when I was 18-20. I love this while I'm in the dream (I never realize I'm dreaming at the time). I go around talking to people confidently, especially women, flirting with them or even just having a nice conversation without worrying how I look.
Inevitably, though, I wake up. I look at my bed head in the mirror, with the thin areas here and there, and the hairline that has crept back just enough to not frame my face attractively (until I style it... I am so sick of styling to hide hair loss, but that's another subject). Even though my hair loss is considered "early stages," and I have been maintaining it nicely for some time on medication, it really does hurt to wake up to this when I've just dreamed of having my teenage hair back and just living my life like normal.
In the daytime all my old enemies return - bright lights, rain, wind, anxiety. Sometimes when I feel real down, and I'm home, I just lie in bed and wait for sleep. Because at least in my dreams, sometimes, I can be me again. The way I was when I had so much hope and optimism.
I don't want to depress you all and I probably am not even explaining my thoughts/feelings that well. This is just a recurring thing that, on bad days, nearly makes me feel hear broken when the illusion fades and reality sets in.
I hope for the day when these kinds of dreams can become real life for all of us. I know the science and technology are possible. It might happen in a couple years, it might happen in twenty, but knowing that it eventually will happen... that helps me get through my bad days.
At least we have each others' backs. Best of luck to everyone!
Bro, a lot of your thoughts really hit home for me. I often look forward to going to sleep because at least in my dreams I can be the person that I used to be before I had hair loss. I used to be so alive, enthusiastic, and the life of the party. Except hair loss had caused me to back away from doing the things that I used to do, and being the person that I used to be. Case in point: last weekend a bunch of my friends went down to a popular vacation destination to celebrate one of my friend's birthdays. Two years ago (before I really started noticing hair loss), I went down with them, had a blast, and was the most uninhibited one out of all of them. But this year I needed to back out of this trip because hair loss was depressing me so much that I knew that I wouldn't have a good time. Oftentimes I am fine when I go out for one night (largely because I get so drunk and/or high that I forget to a certain degree about my hair loss), but I couldn't stay wasted around these close friends 24/7 for a long weekend so I chose to pass on the trip altogether. The thing is that these friends remembered what a "life of the party" I was two years ago so they really wanted me to go; they kept texting, calling, and e-mailing me constantly, trying to get me to go. I tried to be polite and say things like: "I really appreciate you guys asking me and I'm truly flattered, but I'm going through some heavy personal problems right now. It has nothing to do with you guys, but I can't make the trip this time around". But these guys really didn't understand so now some of them are mad at me for not going, thinking that I'm avoiding hanging out with them specifically. Man, I think to myself that if I still had my full head of hair, I would've gone on that trip with them and had a great time like I always used to. It's really sad and depressing what hair loss can do to a person.
Lastly, 25 going on 65, I really don't think you have much to worry about when it comes to hair loss. I don't mean to preach at all bro, but from your postings, I think that you say you have an NW2 at the most, which could just mean that you're developing a mature hairline. Bro, when I had an NW2, I was still going out, raising hell, and loving life. I'd bet probably most people wouldn't even notice that you're suffering from hair loss. I wish to God that I caught my hair loss earlier like you, but I was so naive when it came to hair loss (like most people I know) so unfortunately I never imagined that it could happen to me.
I've had these dreams before. I dream my hair isn't receded and I feel so happy. Then I wake and still feel happy, before reality hits. I'm gonna choose to believe it's a vision of the future
Do I know that feel but come on man you need to do something about it.
You can not define yourself by your hair. I know, I know the feeling I wish I could live by it, but if it affects you that much you have to do something about it.
It pains me to read through all of us in some much pain.
Watch this and I hope it makes you feel better
I am going to have my procedure on wednesday & thrusday. Wish me luck. I have a blog that I am going though. Go to my profile and find it. I can not put it up here
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