Is it possible to just be happy bald?

[MackJames]

Very interesting post once again Mack. Your wife sounds like a great person, in that she reacted the way that she did when you told her about your worries with regards to hair loss. I'm not sure that most women would react the same way. I remember I once went out with this girl who liked me because I looked like one of her favorite metal musicians. I don't want women to now not go out with me because I look like some undesirable balding character.
I can see how you may have found your wife's reaction to your hair loss quite bothersome. But also, it's great that she is not shallow and doesn't overreact about hair loss like I believe many would do. That being said though, I can see how you were bothered by that reaction. After all, as I always say, people who don't experience hair loss for themselves can never fully comprehend the disastrous effects that hair loss can have for a person. I hung out with my hair stylist (nice young lady and a friend of mine) and confided in her about my hair loss. Although she reacted very compassionately and said that most women don't care about hair loss, I felt that she was partly saying this to patronize me, and also said it so as not to hurt my feelings. But she really couldn't understand the disastrous effects of hair loss because she'd never been through it herself. Hell, I couldn't even comprehend the disastrous effects of hair loss before it unfortunately happened to me.
That's an interesting analogy with regards to how you equated to your wife her perceived negative body image while being pregnant to your own hair loss. I think the main difference though is that her own weight gain etc. from being pregnant is only temporary while hair loss is unfortunately permanent. And that's what's so maddening to me about hair loss, that it's effects are permanent and there's really no effective way to regrow hair. I dunno man, I'm just so down because of this hair loss. But thanks for the post dude, that was very informative.

I understand that the analogy isn't perfect but it was as close of an opportunity to relate our issues as I was going to get. One of my wife’s main concerns are stretch marks and unfortunately they are permanent, even though they do fade over time.

I have to acknowledge that my wife is one of the good ones and I am lucky that she choose me. We have stuck together thought thick and thin....hair. It is reassuring that my hair loss doesn't bother her and for that I am extremely grateful. But I do sometimes wonder would she have been as willing to pursue a relationship with me if I had the same amount of hair when we met as I do presently. I imagine if I asked her that question directly she would say yes but as you can imagine I have my doubts.

What else can she say when faced with a question like that but yes. To acknowledge that she might not have been as interested if I had less hair makes her look superficial and would certainly make me feel worse about my hair loss as well. At this point in our lives and relationship its a fairly irrelevant question that for the sake of our marriage and my sanity; I doubt I will ever pose to her.

The same goes for your hair stylist and friend. She is your friend and as your friend her first priority is to be supportive and nurturing. I've come to believe that sometimes the worst people to talks about troubling issues are those closest to you. Close friends and love ones are more concerned with your well being and emotional health than being brutally honest. This can be a really good thing in most cases, but bad when you are looking for a straight answer.

I honestly believe that some women do not care about a man's hair and some absolutely do. The women who do care would never consider dating someone who was balding or bald. There is nothing you can do about that and I wouldn't waste another minute on them.

To be fair, I think its important to acknowledge our own superficiality and preference when dealing with those of others. Consider this question; would you date a women who was bald or balding? If I had to answer the question honestly I would probably say I most likely wouldn't. For me at least, this takes some of the sting out of how some women negatively view balding men.

I know your hair loss has got you down but don't give up. There are many attractive and intelligent women out in this great big world who could care less about a man's hair. It might take a while to find her but she is out there.

Finally, let me say that I definitely feel for you and all of my balding brothers out there. Your concerns and feelings about your hair loss have merit and need to be heard. You are dealing with particular factors that I am not and I appreciate you taking the time to express them here. I learn a lot from these posts.

[jimbo28]

I honestly believe that some women do not care about a man's hair and some absolutely do. The women who do care would never consider dating someone who was balding or bald. There is nothing you can do about that and I wouldn't waste another minute on them.

Yeah just like some men like thick curvy woman and some men like women with the thin model-like rail frame. Just like the woman who is curvy, she cant change her body type to attract a man that is attracted to different types of body. Its genetic. Men who are bald/balding cant help it and people understand that. No one is perfect and even the hottest women in the world are insecure about something. I get depressed about losing hair, its human too but i try to make the best out of it.

[MackJames]

Yeah just like some men like thick curvy woman and some men like women with the thin model-like rail frame. Just like the woman who is curvy, she cant change her body type to attract a man that is attracted to different types of body. Its genetic. Men who are bald/balding cant help it and people understand that. No one is perfect and even the hottest women in the world are insecure about something. I get depressed about losing hair, its human too but i try to make the best out of it.

I couldn't agree more. We all have to make best of what we have. Talking with you fellas on this message board makes that a little easier.

As Depressedbyhairloss beautifully articulated; the toughest part of losing my hair is has reconciling my internal image of yourself with the image staring back in the mirror. As a married man in a stable happy relationship, my hair loss has nothing to do with being concerned about how women perceive me. I am very grateful this isn't an issue I have to face. And to all those who are facing this problem, I feel for you.

My wife is pretty understanding about all this, at least now. Sorry guys, her only sister is married to guy balder than I am, and younger by six years. She doesn't seem to be bothered by it either. Their dad is bald I wonder if that contributes to their attitudes about balding.