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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo28 View Post
    Is it possible to just be happy bald?
    Not if you are female.

    My mother copes with it but she isn't happy. She is grumpy most of the time.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy C View Post
    Not if you are female.

    My mother copes with it but she isn't happy. She is grumpy most of the time.
    Sorry i should have clarified i meant it to be for guys. I couldnt imagine being female and going through it. I hope your mother finds a cure soon.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo28 View Post
    Sorry i should have clarified i meant it to be for guys.
    LOL you posted it in the men's hair loss section. I'm just teasing you. There is not as much going on down there in the women's hair loss section so I post up here in the men's section a lot... I'm gabby as well as bald.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DepressedByHairLoss View Post
    Mack, it's cool that you're in a long term relationship, and if I was, I think hair loss would be easier to deal with for me. I'm about your age (33) and I've been dealing with noticeable hair loss for about a year and a half now. It was probably noticeable before that, but I didn't notice it at the time and it therefore didn't inhibit me. But I'm single and I sure as shit don't want to attract fat, ugly women just because I'm losing my hair. If I was in a great relationship like you seem to be in, then I think that hair loss would affect me a lot less drastically than it is now. Just out of curiosity, what does your girlfriend think about your hair loss? Does she want you to try to stop it or does she not care either way? After I started noticeably losing my hair, I had a relatively short relationship with this one girl and she didn't seem to notice or care.

    I'm actually married and have been for almost six years, together for eleven. She feels as you might expect a lot of spouses or significant others of hair loss suffers feel. She didn't care about my hair and thought it was silly that I obsessed so much over my hair and maybe a little offended that I would think her affection for me was contingent on the number of hair follicles currently gracing my ever thinning scalp.

    For a long time I found her attitude about my hair loss exceptionally bothersome. She wasn't trying to be mean at all, quite the contrary. From her perspective, her attitude was meant to be affirming and loving, not cold and patronizing. She loves me and because it isn't an issue for her she can't fathom why it would be for me.

    However, from my perspective her repeated off handed dismissals of an issue that was very important and emotional devastating for me was extremely hurtful. We arrived at a stale mate about my hair loss, she continued to think I was silly and obsessive and I continued to resent her lack of sympathy and understanding. This kept up for a while until I found a way to make the issue of my hair loss relevant to her by comparing the feelings I was having about my hair to feelings she was having about her own body.

    My wife is currently pregnant with our first child(conceived while on Propecia by the way). As any woman who has been pregnant can attest, the body goes through some major changes. Women gain weight and develop stretch marks, and often have a very difficult time adjusting to the changes happening to their bodies.

    On one particular day she was upset about her weight gain and the stretch marks forming on her swollen belly. I have to admit I initially thought she was being silly and over emotional. I immediately ran through the prerequisite reassurances by telling her that all woman go through these changes and that I didn't find her any less attractive, and that I still loved her very much stretch marks or no stretch marks.

    At that moment it occurred to me that the way I was approaching my wife about her body issues was nearly identical to the way she had approached me about my hair loss, and that I was very wrong. Neither of us meant to hurt the other but inadvertently did because we couldn't relate our similar feelings about our bodies.

    I suggested to her very gingerly that maybe the way she was feeling about her body was the same way I was feeling about my hair. Looking at it that way made it a lot easier for her to understand where I was coming from. I could literally see a look of understanding develop on her face as we talked.

    As you mentioned before, one of the toughest parts of losing hair is reconciling your perception of yourself as a person with hair with the reality that you losing it or have lost it. The good thing is that most people feel that way about some part of their body so at least the potential to relate to our plight is there.

  5. #15
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    Very interesting post once again Mack. Your wife sounds like a great person, in that she reacted the way that she did when you told her about your worries with regards to hair loss. I'm not sure that most women would react the same way. I remember I once went out with this girl who liked me because I looked like one of her favorite metal musicians. I don't want women to now not go out with me because I look like some undesirable balding character.
    I can see how you may have found your wife's reaction to your hair loss quite bothersome. But also, it's great that she is not shallow and doesn't overreact about hair loss like I believe many would do. That being said though, I can see how you were bothered by that reaction. After all, as I always say, people who don't experience hair loss for themselves can never fully comprehend the disastrous effects that hair loss can have for a person. I hung out with my hair stylist (nice young lady and a friend of mine) and confided in her about my hair loss. Although she reacted very compassionately and said that most women don't care about hair loss, I felt that she was partly saying this to patronize me, and also said it so as not to hurt my feelings. But she really couldn't understand the disastrous effects of hair loss because she'd never been through it herself. Hell, I couldn't even comprehend the disastrous effects of hair loss before it unfortunately happened to me.
    That's an interesting analogy with regards to how you equated to your wife her perceived negative body image while being pregnant to your own hair loss. I think the main difference though is that her own weight gain etc. from being pregnant is only temporary while hair loss is unfortunately permanent. And that's what's so maddening to me about hair loss, that it's effects are permanent and there's really no effective way to regrow hair. I dunno man, I'm just so down because of this hair loss. But thanks for the post dude, that was very informative.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimbo28 View Post
    Its a shame that you think this way. You wont attract a fat and ugly woman just because you are losing your hair except of course if your a fat and ugly man. Wouldnt you rather a girl meet you when losing your hair so she knows what to expect and she loves you no matter what than if you started losing your hair during the relationship and found out how shallow she is and leaves you.
    Hey Jimbo, I really wish I wasn't forced to think this way. But I just believe that most women view a full head of hair as a helluva lot more attractive than being bald/balding. With regards to your question, I'd much rather meet a girl when I had a full head of hair, and keep that full head of hair until I'm an older man. Baldness runs in my family a bit, but not so much that it was my destiny to be a bald man. Hell, my dad still has the thickest head of hair (albeit a receding hair line since he was 20) and he's 60 years old. I really just think that women will look more favorably upon a man with a full head of hair, rather than a bald man.
    Also, baldness totally does not fit into my lifestyle at all. I've been an 80s rocker/metalhead and I've even played in a couple of short-lived bar bands too. I always dreamed of looking like my rock n roll heroes (dudes like Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue) and now I feel like that dream is being taken away from me permanently. There are a couple of huge guys at my gym with shaved heads and they really don't seem to give a shit about their own hair loss. They tell me to shave my hair and look like a total bad-ass. Maybe I could pull off that look since I've been a weight-lifter for almost 2 decades, yet I would feel so uncomfortable when I'm at my rock clubs and see all the guys there with full heads of long hair and then see myself as a bald man. My lifelong love of long-haired rock n roll really makes this hair loss even worse to deal with.
    That being said, it's very cool that you don't seem to be too depressed about your own hair loss. More power to ya, man. I know several people who seem to accept hair loss and move on, while with others, it negatively affects them to the point of depression. It's also cool that you said that a lot of guys that you admire are bald. That's actually the same with too. Here are some guys with shaved heads that I admire (you can google them if you want): Keith Jardine, Jay Dobyns, Kyle Vanden Bosch, Shane Carwin.

  7. #17
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    Most people I know that are bald are happy as ****. As a matter of fact I have friends who shave their heads and don't have MPB ha.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DepressedByHairLoss View Post

    I always dreamed of looking like my rock n roll heroes (dudes like Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue) and now I feel like that dream is being taken away from me permanently. .
    Id be willing to bet that @ 53 yrs old Nikki's wearing a wig

  9. #19
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    Nikki Sixx just has recession which is covered up with his long hairstyle.

    On a related note, I was surprised to learn Dave Mustaine was pretty much a NW3, but his hair is just so thick the long hair still looks great.

    Whatever, their both 50+. I bet a fair few rock stars do wear though.

  10. #20
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    Guys, I would give my left nut for Dave Mustaine's hair. I've actually met Nikki Sixx and he actually may be wearing a wig now. However, as Dave52 mentioned he's like 53 years ago. If I had to wait til 53 to worry about hair loss, man I would give anything for that.

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