Im 32... and its still an issue

[chipper03]

First of all, let me state that I have read through many of your stories before posting my own, and I am in good company. Some of you seemed to take the words right out my mouth. And that is a relief to me on some level.

I started losing my hair shortly after my 21st birthday while I was in college. It was a devastating feeling being in the shower, and seeing just patches of hair float down the drain. My family is Italian... burly, hairy Italian. No one could understand why I was going bald. My mom would say, "It's not in the family... no one has the bald gene." It was tough thing to digest for a long time. I was ALWAYS with a hat... even when I should not have been (job interviews, dates, etc...) It never sat well with me... let me rephrase that... I never accepted it. There have been many mortifying moments during my 20's where my hair loss made me feel humiliated.

When it came to women... believe it or not, none of them cared. In their eyes it was still me... charming, passionate, intelligent, funny guy they always knew. haha My struggle was internal. I viewed my baldness almost as a curse. And hearing men with full heads of hair complain about ANYTHING drove me up a wall. "They don't know what hardship is... I thought."

I'm a regular sized guy... 6'1" 193 lbs. Most of friends say "Your always complaining about your head, but at least you don't have beer guts like some guys our age do." I laugh and tell them, "Those are avoidable physical traits... just don't drink like a fool all the time."

So as the years progressed, I avoided life. Didn't want a job in an office because of the lighting (self conscious to the max). Most of my jobs were Construction based b/c they allowed you to wear a hat (wow that sounds pathetic just writing it). Wasn't happy with my appearance so I stopped dating. After a while I felt like all my closest friends saw me in a more positive light than I saw myself. "It's only an issue if you make it an issue..." was the advice of my family.

One of my biggest questions through the years has been, "How come some men are just fine with being bald and some men (myself) despise it so much." I know the answer has something to do with confidence and acceptance.

Currently... instead of using shears to cut my little hair left, I just use a razor and shave my head altogether. Not a fan of the look, but I am out of options. haha Just finished my Master's degree in Education, and in search of a (K-8) teaching position. Believe it or not, teaching in front of 25+ little brats I don't even think about it. I love public speaking and adore teaching.

I guess the main reason I came here is to ask my all of you the following questions... (1) How do you move on from it? There is an old expression... for every good man there is a great woman. I don't give myself a chance to make any connections with a new woman b/c of the fear of my head. I know... its RIDICULOUS! And women have told me, "I love bald men." I DON"T LIKE THE LOOK. It has nothing to do with them.

Question (2) They have cosmetic surgery for EVERYTHING in this day and age... is the hair restoration technology so good that they REALLY restore hair realistically? I am the biggest skeptic in the world.

People have said to me many times through the years, "If you don't like it so much then do something about it." And they are absolutely right... but some of the commericals I see... the results look fake.

My reason for doing it wouldn't be for vanity purposes, just the opposite. It would kick start my life again.

Thank you for your time.
Your thoughts?

[8868alex]

If it bothers you that much. Check out the list of IAHRS:

http://www.thebaldtruth.com/resource...t-surgeons/HRS doctor

32 is still a young man. Don't fall into the trap of feeling guilty about how you feel as that will make you feel worse. Under the right hands, you can achieve life changing, undetectable results. You need to be the right candidate but a good doctor wil explain this to you. There is no mention of how much hair you have left, but there are also hair retention therapies (Propecia, Minoxidl, etc) that can assist. I say go for it. You only live once and have the right to be happy. You sound like you have good positive people in your life who wish you the best. It is utterly imperative that you speak to a skilled and caring physician so please do you research. Every doctor on the list provided above has proven themselves to be of reputable quality.

I wish you all the best!

[chipper03]

Thank you for your response Alex. Good advice. I tried clicking on the link you sent, but I got a "Not Found" error. Or is it just my computer? Yes, if there are good restoration doctors and I qualify... why not. I don't care what the cost may be... well yes I do. haha

[chipper03]

Nevermind. haha Found the list. Just had to scroll down some. haha I'm and idiot. Research time.

[mothernature]

great story. loved reading it. I hope you find a good surgeon and get your hair restored. It looks like though that you have alot of support around you.

[chipper03]

Thank you kindly mothernature. haha My friends and family are anxious to see me back in life. I ALLOWED my baldness to set me back in my own world. No one else... just me. The hardest thing is to grab your guilt, anger, resentment, and self pity and say, "Forget this, this mindset and these emotions are getting me nowhere." So who knows... Maybe I do something about it or I achieve pure acceptance. Not sure.

[hdude46]

Chipper,

I think your story resonates with a lot of people here. 32 is not a bad age to consider a hair transplant, and should you decide to pursue it, it could be life changing provided you have realistic expectations and enough donor hair. You never mentioned how much hair you have left, but you should definitely post some pictures of your situation. If you still have a relatively good amount left, i would suggest getting on propecia and rogaine foam asap. It can stop and even reverse hair loss in a lot of people, which is a vital part of the hair transplant procedure. Most hair transplant doctors will say this is a must before proceeding with surgery.

There are several clinics out there who are doing good work. In my opinion, Shapiro Medical Group in Minnesota and Hasson&Wong in Vancouver are producing the most consistent results and are the best in the biz. There are several who are right behind them but when doing a hair transplant DO NOT go the cheap route. You should check out their websites. Good luck and post some pics if you can.

[chipper03]

hdude thank you for your insight. I will definitely check out your suggestions. My head is completely bald right now, so posting a pic of the top would just show skin. Perhaps in a few days when it begins to grow, I will post a pic.

My story is similar to many in this forum, and my heart goes out especially to the young people who are struggling through this. We live in a superficial world (now more than ever) and unfortunately when you don't look like everyone else... it can feel awkward. As much as my family tries to relate and say, "I know it must be tough at times for you..." and they genuinely mean well... you have no idea until you experience it firsthand.

[hdude46]

Chipper,

How much hair do you think you have left if you let it grow out? If you take a look at the websites of the clinics I suggested I think you would be surprised at some of the transformations. It wouldnt be a bad idea to schedule a phone consultation (they're free) with smg or hasson&wong and they can lead you in the right direction.

If you are so bald that you wouldnt be a good candidate for surgery (norwood 6 or 7), have you ever thought about a hair system? There are a few company's that the owner of this site recommends and after a cut in it would be undetectable.

There are also things in the meantime you can put in your hair like concealers (dermatch, nanogen, thickening shampoos). These give the appearance of more hair, and sometimes by a lot. Youtube has some videos of these products if you are more interested.

As most on this site do, I feel your pain. Luckily, between hair transplants, concealers, and meds (rogaine, propecia) people can achieve the appearance of a lot more hair. You are lucky to have such great family and friends, and while I know its tough now, I suspect as you keep getting older and more and more people in your age bracket start to lose their hair too it may become easier to accept. But in the meantime, take your family's advice and know that their are options out there for you. I have several friends who are thinning pretty badly who are thriving professionally and personally (relationships, ect.). You can do it too.

Good luck.

[chipper03]

hdude... you sound like you really know your stuff. Um, hair wise lets see... the outermost side(s) of my head still gets real thick (like most). I have the bald spot in the back, my hairline is pretty much gone, top side(s) are gone, and the middle is still covered a bit. So imagine a U shape of no hair, hair in the middle, and the bald spot.

What is norwood? I am new to this, so excuse my potentially stupid questions. I have never heard of a 'hair system' either. Concealers are out of the question. I have never taken any type of Monoxidil, Rogaine, etc... Never. Just fear of worsening the condition rather than improving it. Plus I have heard the minute you stop taking these drugs, hair loss continues. Just seems like too much risk. But surgery, hair transplantation, or something along those lines would be worth investigating.