29, virgin, weighing hair options

[Weedwacker]

I agree that hair loss does affect how people see us. It is a bigger deal than people think because it does change our appearance dramatically. Hair loss does, usually, make a guy look much older. When a guy is young, it is hard because people his age may think he is much older than he actually is. Does a 24 year old woman want to date a 24 year old guy who looks like he is 45? I doubt it. I had to deal with this exact situation when I was ****ing 17!

The real issue is what hair loss does to us, individually. I would hate baldness even if I was the only person on the planet. I have been dealing with this for 17 years. It gets easier with age--but I still dislike it. People who have not gone through it do not understand.

I am very lucky in that I have a well-shaped head and have the features to pull off the 'bald' look pretty well. It could be a lot worse. Having said that, I would like to have hair again someday.

[RichardR]

Hm... I guess I could get a wig and wear a skullcap over it or something.

That might look young and maybe that would hide the fakeness of the kind of wig I'd be able to afford. Baseball caps make me feel like some kind of shady character too.

Although honestly if the tattoo things were as great as the providers made them look, I'd throw all my savings at it without a second thought. I just cant stand this damn 5 o'clock shadow on my head no matter how close I try to shave.

[Havok]

Hair loss does, usually, make a guy look much older. When a guy is young, it is hard because people his age may think he is much older than he actually is. Does a 24 year old woman want to date a 24 year old guy who looks like he is 45? I doubt it. I had to deal with this exact situation when I was ****ing 17!

i wish it only made the person look much older. in most cases it makes the person look hideous.

[Sogeking]

Women. Our downfall.
Just kidding. How we look is important to us, but still money always helps.

@RichardR
I too have not had any luck with women, but hair had nothing to do with it. Now that I started losing it it makes things worse. But still who knows what future holds. Also I hope that we will get our hair back.
As for the Asian women turning you down. I've read somewhere that Asians consider balding men unlucky or something as such. In the past they've considered bald men cursed by gods. That is beacuse there is much lower percentage of balding men in Asians. I do apologize if I am wrong. But today we know that being bald is nothing to be ashamed off the only thing it does is affect your appearance and mental state. Meaning: it sucks but others won't think less of you unless you let 'em. It might "only" (not trying to demean this problem on the contrary) affect your chances with women in a sexual manner.

[VictimOfDHT]

Yeah I understand you guys wanting to look attractive -to women- and all. It's natural but if you think about it, we want to attract women, get to know them, be with them -in relationships- then regret the day we met them. That's the case with most men. So, don't feel sad for being a single guy. Married guys envy us, believe me. But yeah, we want our hair for OURSELVES and not for women. I want to keep my hair even if I was going to live on an island in the middle of the ocean. I want my hair even if I was going to be a buddhist monk.

[aannddyy]

Lets be honest, no one really ever wants to go bald. Ive been half way there since i was like 16 but I never let it own me, people make jokes and laugh at me about it, I have even been called Benjamin button before, obviously that was an extremely hilarious joke for everyone (other than me) involved.
The thing is if you have alot of self confidence, regardless of how you look, girls will be interested in you.
I am pretty impressed that so many guys think its really hard to get a girl to have sex with you but the big truth is its not, BUT! if that is your only aim when you meet them they will just think your seedy (sometimes i enjoy this) they wont be keen on you at all.
Out of all of my best mates I am the only one who is half way bald and I have had sex the most times out of all of us, one of them who has lots of hair and is rich still hasn't managed to have sex with any girls despite my attempts at helping him.
My best advice for anyone else in my shoes, laugh at yourself if everyone else is ( they are just trying to get a reaction from you, if they don't they will stop) when your out in public pump out your chest make sure you put at least a little effort on your face like shaving and teeth or whatever. Focus on the good aspects about yourself not the bad ones, if you do everyone else will eventually get the vibe too. You don't need to be honestly confident either, act if you need to, once you notice the girls checking you out you wont need to act anymore.
Not so long ago a girl who I made out with, requiring no effort at all went home with all her mates and told them all I looked like a seedy old man but she liked me because I was confident about myself. Don't let what anyone else says about you affect your confidence because I CAN tell you with ALL of my confidence that there will be another person in their place that thinks the exact opposite thing.
The worst thing you can do is hide yourself from everyone else, if you sit inside all day and never go out thats why your alone, not your hair. If someone with lots of hair did that they would be in the exact same boat as you.

[VictimOfDHT]

Thanks Andy for the advise however, you probably know it's easier said than done. If mind control were so easy they'd be no need for psychologists, drugs and all kind of therapies.. The fact is it isn't easy to do that at all unless you have it in you. Some people are plain ugly but they have so much confidence in themselves that they don't give a **** about nobody. Those people are LUCKY to have that in them. On the other hand, there are people who are very good looking or attractive but they have ZERO confidence in themselves.... So, it's all in your mind and unfortunately, the mind is one very very tough nut to crack. What people DON'T want to realize is that it ISN'T a switch that you can turn on and off whenever you like. NO. It ISN'T that simple, otherwise there will be NO mentally tortured people. There will be no mental disorders, self-confidence issues, esteem problems....at all.

And even with all kind of help (psychologists, therapies, drugs...) many people still continue to suffer from the same problems even after years of treatment. It just proves that for most of us, we ARE what we ARE and no matter how much we do to try and change ourselves (minds) we can never do it. I always tell people your mind is just like any other physical part of your body that you are given whether you like it or not. You can't change the color of your skin, eyes, hair...You can't change your height, your natural talents, your genes...

But again andy, like I said, this isn't about women or whatever. Obviously, there are millions and millions of women who are with bald men. That's no secret. This is something that we want for ourselves. We don't want to look disfigured by this curse. As long as there are mirrors around, we could never live with this shit called "baldness".

[mothernature]

great post andy (and response by DHT victim)

but tbh ur probably good looking even when goin bald thats why u get these girls + ur confidence like u said is also a big factor

[Havok]

i agree with victimofDHT. attracting girls and impressing them with our looks is just the byproduct of having hair and not the goal. we want hair for ourselves, to make ourselves feel good. i think it's great that some guys can maintain their confidence after going bald but unfortunately most men on TBH suffer from real pain.

[VictimOfDHT]

great post andy (and response by DHT victim)

but tbh ur probably good looking even when goin bald thats why u get these girls + ur confidence like u said is also a big factor

Thanks, mothernature.
I was gonna say that. Obviously if a man is good looking and he loses his hair he can still be attractive to women. The same thing cannot be said about every man however.