Love Life + Hair Loss (A rant for you to relate to)

[Locke]

Hey everybody,

I just needed to get this off my chest. I know many of the guys here understand but **** I am frustrated.

So basically I'm 23 years old and there's this girl in my class that I like but given my hairloss I can't bear to ask her out. I know that you should live life with no regrets but what the hell am I supposed to do when I look like shit.

Here's my hair as of today:

http://www.baldtruthtalk.com/showthr...6712#post26712

Not 1 other guy in my class has hairloss as bad as I do and the ones who have hair loss it looks completely normal. The only reason I can tell is because they are where I was at when I was 19.

Thus, women my age are not used to seeing men with hair loss unless they grew up in a house where their father is bald. Even in this case they associate baldness with being old and their dad. They would not want to have sex with their dad.

The girls my age all want to dress up and look sexy for the bar/club. They want to dance with the guys who are built, have nice hair, and are hot/cute. I no longer fit into any of these categories.

Here are my fears:

1. I can style my hair and grow it longer on the sides to cover up the extent of my receeded hairline but if I were to get intimate with a girl/we were making out and she ran her hands through my hair then she would find out how bad my hairline actually is. Never used to have this problem...

2. If I were in the shower with a girl, assuming I could get to that stage at this point in my life, then bam right there she'll see how bad my hair looks.

Recently we started hanging out more but I've gone to the club with this girl a few times and danced with her but it's more a friends thing I guess. I make her laugh all the time and she says she loves my jokes. We've got quite a bit in common but I am CERTAIN that she doesn't think of me the same way.

I made her and her friends martinis the other night to try to impress her and they loved it. But I think I'm just a sucker.

The group of us then got to talking about relationships and I told them some of the things I USED to do for girls I was dating and they were melting.


I just can't get over this barrier than I've built up. If I hate the way I look how can anyone else like the way I look? I'm so depressed that I just let my body go. I used to have muscle now I'm just a stick. This doesn't help my cause and I would definitely make my case easier if I had a nice body but I'm so depressed about my hair loss that I can't even bring myself to work out anymore.

THIS F**KING SUCKS. I really hate hair loss. It has ruined so many aspects of my life.

HOW CAN I GET OVER THIS AND ACTUALLY LIVE LIFE AGAIN? Every time I try to pick myself up I just end up in the dumps weeks later when something else triggers these thoughts.

[mudge127]

You are just going to have to get over it.

The way I look at it, your hair loss is not going to go away, so do you want to hide forever or do you want to get laid and have a normal life?

A bit harsh I know, and I know it's much easier said then done. However, just given the tone of your post, I think you need it. I want to save my hair as well, but I am not going to give up life. Certainly I am going to combat it, but I am not going to hide for the rest of my life. If I have to go bald, **** it, I will work out and build up my confidence just like every other super confident bald guy out there that is working out, confident and sleeping / dating some incredible looking women.

Point being, does it suck? Certainly. Is it the end of the world? Far from it. It will only be the end if you let it be the end. Girls love confidence. Work out, act confident and go ask her out. (I bring up the work out part because yes, I think being weak and bald is not nearly as appealing to girls as being built and bald!)

I've read your other posts re: propecia. I had the exact same problems and switched to half a dose. I don't know yet if the results will be the same yet, but the sides have not returned.

[Locke]

Thanks mudge. You're right. It is exactly what I needed to hear.

I'm actually going to save what you wrote and use it to motivate me because it's the truth.

[Locke]

You are just going to have to get over it.

The way I look at it, your hair loss is not going to go away, so do you want to hide forever or do you want to get laid and have a normal life?

A bit harsh I know, and I know it's much easier said then done. However, just given the tone of your post, I think you need it. I want to save my hair as well, but I am not going to give up life. Certainly I am going to combat it, but I am not going to hide for the rest of my life. If I have to go bald, **** it, I will work out and build up my confidence just like every other super confident bald guy out there that is working out, confident and sleeping / dating some incredible looking women.

Point being, does it suck? Certainly. Is it the end of the world? Far from it. It will only be the end if you let it be the end. Girls love confidence. Work out, act confident and go ask her out. (I bring up the work out part because yes, I think being weak and bald is not nearly as appealing to girls as being built and bald!)

I've read your other posts re: propecia. I had the exact same problems and switched to half a dose. I don't know yet if the results will be the same yet, but the sides have not returned.

Mudge, have you ever considered getting a hair transplant? I'm having a tough time committing to it but I think it would do wonders for me.

The thing is, once I get that strip scar there's no going back to shaving my head.

[kanyon]

Hi guys,

I'm 28 now and started losing my hair at 20. Treatments worked for me until now and I had good success with girls from 20 to 28. Now I'm losing my hair again very quickly and I don't think I can combat it anymore. I noticed that it was getting worse again in November last year.

Fortunately I met an incredible girl in September last year and am still with her. I'm sure she's noticed my hair is thin/thinner but I'm not sure how much it will be a problem for us as my hair continues to get worse.

She's moving overseas for a year in about 6 weeks (something she has always planned) and I am worried by the time I see her again (whether it be if I visit her during that year or at the end of it) that I will be completely bald and she will no longer be attracted to me. This is a girl I want to marry and have children with so it would be a great shame if it's too much for her to handle.

At the moment I think I do a decent enough job of covering my hair loss so she hasn't really seen it parted in a way that exposes my scalp too much. I am considering getting an HT while she's away.

My girlfriend is a very caring person and in a way, once I can no longer successfully conceal my hairloss I am looking forward to telling her about my struggle with it.

[PatientlyWaiting]

I know how you feel man.

My hairline started receding when I was 16, I didn't do much about it until I was 18, I was on and off of Rogaine and Propecia in my 19-21's. Finally at 22[now], I decided in November[when I still 21], to stick to generic Finasteride 1.25mg a day, and then in January I started using Kirkland's 5% minoxidil, I decided to stick with it, and never stop, and don't be on and off, just every single day, 2ml minoxidil twice a day, 1ml on my crown, 1ml on my hairline/temples, that's 4ml a day.

From what looked to be an obvious horse shoe pattern no matter how long I grew my hair you could still see a faint horseshoe especially in light, to fast forward now the top of my head filled out and hairs that looked like vellus hair and looked like were never gonna grow around my temples, are now getting thicker and thicker. I just shaved off a whole military base of new vellus hairs around my temples today because I wanted to make sure they were actually hairs because of how fast they were growing and how apparent they were even with no light. Now next time I know they are actual hairs and I will let them grow.


The reason i'm telling you this is because I once gave up just like you. I Was depressed just like you, and I am not going to lie to you, my love life and confidence was lost along with my hair. But I got myself in to this new attitude, of not giving up, and it has paid off. I am drinking 6 cups of water a day, bought a weight bench to work out in my room, working out from Monday-Friday, drinking my protein shakes daily, drinking creatine, taking flax seed oils, taking daily multivitamins, I am also planning on adding Biotin, Silica, Zinc, and Pantothen little by little since all of those supplements are good for healthy hair/faster hair growth[not hair loss just faster hair growth and these supplements may thicken baby hairs]. And little by little my confidence is returning. I don't have hair like Freakazoid or anything, but I have definitely come along way and I can say my hair regrowth is under construction, instead of 5 months ago telling myself all my hair is ready to go.

There have been people with hair loss worse than yours who came back and got a lot of their hair back because they had the right attitude. You did the right thing by coming to get all of this off your chest, now you need the right attitude, and don't give up. I wish I had pictures to show you my progress of hair so you can see what happens when you don't quit and I can motivate you. Unfortunately I don't have a camera but I really need one.

Good luck.

[PatientlyWaiting]

Just to show you what motivated me the most. A lot of these guys had worse hair loss than what I had and that's what kept me motivated and plus their age too, a lot of them are our age. This is basically the page that motivated in to not giving up.

Finasteride and Minoxidil:
http://www.bernsteinmedical.com/medi...atient-photos/

Just look through them, that is what patience does for you. I know you have problems with Finasteride but, you know, it's not like you're gonna ask a girl out any time soon right? I have no sexual side effects with 1.25 generic fin but I guess we're all different. I think it's just a mental side effect.

[Locke]

Just to show you what motivated me the most. A lot of these guys had worse hair loss than what I had and that's what kept me motivated and plus their age too, a lot of them are our age. This is basically the page that motivated in to not giving up.

Finasteride and Minoxidil:
http://www.bernsteinmedical.com/medi...atient-photos/

Just look through them, that is what patience does for you. I know you have problems with Finasteride but, you know, it's not like you're gonna ask a girl out any time soon right? I have no sexual side effects with 1.25 generic fin but I guess we're all different. I think it's just a mental side effect.

Thanks for the advice.

The results I saw with Propecia were incredible...initially...but they soon wore off. The hair loss wasn't as rapid as I'm losing my hair now though.

I was hoping to lose the forelock region that I've developed then have the frontal part of my head restored with a hair transplant before going on to propecia again at 1/2 tablet every day to keep the remaining hair behind the transplanted area. Does anyone think this is a good idea? I don't want to get a transplant around the forelock area only to have it thin out in a few months time and look really bad.

Don't you hate the greasy feeling of Rogaine though? I used both the foam and the monoxidil solution for long periods of time and they're just gross.

[mudge127]

To answer your question about HT, yes, I am looking into it (though nervous and don't want a scar either. Perhaps FUE will work). My only pause is that the hair loss I do have is only on the crown, and propecia DOES work. I am nervous that as soon as I get an HT done, then some new amazing pill will come out that works as well, if not better then propecia, though without the sides. Perhaps wishful thinking, but who knows. If my hair loss were worse, I would probably leap towards an HT.

As for your second post, I would do the half tab of propecia first, before the HT to see how you react (I have no sides from this). From my reading, the best HT's are done AFTER your hair loss is stabilized, or else you are constantly going back.

With Rogaine, I don't mind the foam at all, in fact I use in in place of my other hair styling products. It has never helped any hair grow, just keeps the ones I do have (but makes my head very red).

And this is just a thought I have had recently, I took propecia for 5 months before the sides got to bad, and it took many months for that amazing hair to recede again, though the sides went 100% away in 14 days. I am wondering if propecia cannot be done in cycles, ie. full does for 3 months, 1 month off, repeat.

Not sure if any doctors would weigh in on this. I will continue the half-tab path for now to see if the hair returns on this regimen.

[st3v]

Confidence is more important to women than looks are. That is all that you need to know.