When your youth is gone...

[AgainstThis]

Truer words have never been spoken ohlife.

[Rupi]

Hey ohlife, after reading first few lines of you "take" , I STOPPED reading. This one was thread on here that was actually uplifting and you ruined it !

Sorry if I sound like a dick, but I had to say it ...

[ohlife]

First of all, there was nothing inherently uplifting about the thread; it was merely various people's meditations as to what fundamental aspect of the psyche hair loss impacts. On that note, I thought I'd give my honest opinion in regards to this question. If it's true - as you seem to imply - that hair loss doesn't affect not only how we see ourselves, but how others see us as well, then why is it undesirable? in fact, why are you even here?

That being said, I will concede that I forgot to add a crucial part of what I was thinking at the time. Given that - I think - the 'identity crisis' that can come with hair loss is the fundamental problem, maybe the key is to look past our naivety. One of the reasons why hair loss is easier as you get older, I think, is that because you start to realize that individual 'uniqueness' and popularity are both mythical and temporal ideals respectively. At the end of the day, we're all human, and everyone faces the same basic problems - also, everyone becomes old and obsolete unless you build strong foundations of family and friendship, something barely reliant on looks.

I guess my point is that, whilst the truth of the matter doesn't make it any easier to cope with at the present, most of us can acknowledge that the things hair loss seem to undermine will dissipate in their significance as we get older.

Must say though, it does still confuse me when 40+ year olds are concerned when their hair starts to recede...

[VictimOfDHT]

Ohlife, you will soon find that being 40 isn't any different than being 30 or 20 when it comes to losing hair. It sucks at any age, well maybe not when you're 75. I look at very old men sometime and I still think it looks ****ing weird and ugly when more than half of your head is nothing but bare skin.

[ohlife]

Well that may be the case for me and you - we obviously care about hair a fair bit - but I think if you did a poll, the majority of those 40 an under would show a much greater concern than those over. Whether or not that's a generational thing is another matter - we'll have to see.

[Rupi]

Please read DallasTreado's post once again and if that doesn't somehow lift your spirits and encourages you to face this challenge boldly in life. Then, I feel sorry for you.

Peace ..

[AgainstThis]

Ohlife speaks true. 100% down with him.

[ohlife]

Please read DallasTreado's post once again and if that doesn't somehow lift your spirits and encourages you to face this challenge boldly in life. Then, I feel sorry for you.

Peace ..

Sorry dude, but I don't think he's actually said anything that isn't implied in my above post.. Anyway, you're right about the facing it boldly part. I think the hardest part is that people don't want to accept that they'll never get to live the ideal again... There are certain things that come with youth and only with youth - for hair loss sufferers, there is an invariable feeling of having something taken away that you'll never get back; and not just hair.

I think my point is this: losing your hair (especially young) emphasizes to one just how short life is - even though you might have many years of life ahead of you, a specific 'phase' of life can be taken away in front of your eyes. Rather than simple 'ageing', where the feeling of a passed epoch is presented retrospectively, hair loss sufferers have it thrust before them as something they can only project in to. The only way of overcoming this feeling of helplessness is to accept it in the strictest sense - accept that the peak of your physical appearance has passed. I suppose I should be grateful - I made it to 22, and ticked all the boxes so to speak. It's no big deal really... I'll accept my fate until something comes along

[PatientlyWaiting]

I'd like to echo what the poster above ^^ said (and I'm sure your boys will be ok, how old are they now?). I really appreciate the calm, un-histrionic nature of the original post, and agree wholeheartedly with the content.

I was always chronically shy when I was a kid, unlike my parents and my sisters. I never even had birthday parties, because I hated being centre of attention. Don't misunderstand me, I wasn't a social outcast or anything, I had lots of friends, I just couldn't put myself in the spotlight. And I'd think, it's fine, no problem, I'll get over it, my time will come.

Then, age 21, BAM, I started losing my hair, and I was devastated, because you feel like your life is coming to an end before it's properly started. It's like, things aren't ok anymore, and they'll never be ok again. I can never get back to where I was, and it's only going to get worse.

I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for guys who start losing it at 14, or 15.

It definitely doesn't feel too good. Well I didn't start at 14-15, I started at 16, i'm now 22. It was very aggressive, started with receding temples, then hairline then vertex. You would think by now I should have nothing, but thanks to finasteride and minoxidil I am currently a NW2 with a kinda diffused? top. My hair line is not where I want it to be, but it's there at least. And my left temple is receded so back, don't know if I will ever get back again even with all the new baby hairs that have been growing there for the past 7 months. I was never on fin and minoxidil consistently, because of financial reasons. But now i have Kirklands 5% min and I use 5mg generic fin, i'm basically good for this whole rest of 2011. This is the longest I have been treating my hair loss[7 months]. I would always treat it for 3-4 months then stop, then continue 100 years later[financial problems, I could not afford Propecia and Rogaine and didn't know about generic versions of them].


About the question the OP asked, it's definitely just not one thing. For me it's a combination of a couple things. Like looking too old at a young age, looking less attractive than I did when I had all my hair, and just looking so different from all my other friends.As common as MPB is, it is not too common in teens/early 20s around where I live. It seems like I am 1 in a million around here. So it really sucks.

[twhacker]

I'm 23 and started losing my hair about a year ago. I definately feel different then all my other friends and I feel like I have lost my swagger and confidence around woman. I look back just a few years ago and think of things I was doing with a full head of hair and wish I could go back to those times. I try not to let it bother me.

I go back and forth every day wether I want to embrace it and shave my head bald but I like the look of myself with a full head of hair.