Hello brothers,
I have just joined these forums so forgive me for being presumptuous, but I thought I might address a topic that I haven’t as yet seen highlighted - choosing the people and places you interact with as a bald man.
I focus on this topic as it is of particular importance to my predicament. I have known my best friend for many years now, since I was about 4 years old in fact. We’ve grown up together and finish each others sentences and have many similarities. We frequently got referred to as brothers because we were so close and so similar looking. However, since losing my hair at the ripe old age of 19, I have been progressively perceived as the evil twin - the ugly duckling. It’s almost like seeing two fruit muffins in a bakery shop window. One has a sumptuous looking red cherry on top, the other appears a tad barren by comparison. They are both tasty muffins - perfectly edible, and will give you nourishment and satisfaction. But which one would you choose madame?
And there in-lies my dilemma. When I go out with my best friend and our group, its as if I am looking at myself in a parallel reality - one where I kept my hair, and enjoy all the trappings that comes with it. Trappings that I took for granted. Like women falling at my feet. I cannot tell you how much it pains me to sit and watch my best friend (who we will call Dan for the purpose of this post) blabbering away to girls, telling crap jokes and pointless stories, and all the while they are giggling and fawning over him. Then when I have something of actual interest to say (god forbid), it’s glazed over with the slightest of nods and then they’re back to their golden boy. You see my friend is a bit of a social aggressor. If I start a story, he will finish it. If I’m talking to a girl he’ll walk over and butt in. He doesn’t mean it, we’ve had this discussion before. It’s just the way he is (he’s a Leo if you believe in that sort of thing). He has to be the lynchpin of the group, the centre of attention. Master and commander. It doesn’t matter how witty, well-mannered or well-groomed I am (and I am known for my fashionable appearance), they always look to him as the leader of the pack. And what’s worse is, he’s got a girlfriend and I’m single! Even though I am available and he’s not, they still chat him up! So I ask all the ladies of these opinion poles, the ones that say hair isn’t an issue. That it’s a man’s humor (check), dress sense (check), hygiene (check) and nice eyes (check) that matters the most to them. I ask you, what am I missing? Hair that’s what.
Now I’m not saying that all women are this shallow, and it’s here where I make my point. I moved to England for two years upon securing a job, and so was separated from my best friend and our gang. I had far less socially proactive friends in my new surroundings, all of whom were of my age or older, which allowed me to blossom as the witty wise cracking youngster. Even my taller, leaner friend with flowing locks was given less attention than me from the female persuasion. He is painfully quiet and shy though. That’s when I realized that it’s all about comparative appearance. If I am given enough time and space to charm a girl, they usually end up liking me, but I need all the yappy, pretty little distractions around me to bugger off for a bit. Northern English girls are great - up for a laugh and not so bitchy. Scottish girls are the worst. The only girl I’ve pulled since I moved back up here was a Canadian! Coincidence? I think not. British women seem, from my experience, to be much higher maintenance than their American, Canadian and European counterparts.
So what’s wrong with this picture? I have this great best friend of mine who is slowly killing me inside. We hang about with a comparatively younger crowd that makes me look like a creepy uncle. I live in Scotland surrounded by possibly the most superficial girls in the world (FYI - I haven’t been to Miami yet). I’m not giving myself the best chances am I? Don’t get me wrong, I could play the odds and find a nice girl and settle down with her. But I’m not looking for that. I’m looking to recapture my misspent youth. I’m looking for crazy nights out and hot flings. Things I should have been doing instead of barricading myself in my room and crying myself to sleep. But these things are tough to come by in these hairless days in my part of the world. So what’s to be done? Well, I am strongly considering a totally fresh start in another land with company I will truly benefit from. This may seem a tad radical to some, but I have been crippled enough already with hair loss, and I need to remove as many shackles as I can from my remaining years.
So I ask you brothers - what do you think of my proposed solution?
I would love to hear of any similar stories about tales of reinvention or beginning life anew. How did it work out for you?
Thanks for listening, I realize that this has been an epic!
I have just joined these forums so forgive me for being presumptuous, but I thought I might address a topic that I haven’t as yet seen highlighted - choosing the people and places you interact with as a bald man.
I focus on this topic as it is of particular importance to my predicament. I have known my best friend for many years now, since I was about 4 years old in fact. We’ve grown up together and finish each others sentences and have many similarities. We frequently got referred to as brothers because we were so close and so similar looking. However, since losing my hair at the ripe old age of 19, I have been progressively perceived as the evil twin - the ugly duckling. It’s almost like seeing two fruit muffins in a bakery shop window. One has a sumptuous looking red cherry on top, the other appears a tad barren by comparison. They are both tasty muffins - perfectly edible, and will give you nourishment and satisfaction. But which one would you choose madame?
And there in-lies my dilemma. When I go out with my best friend and our group, its as if I am looking at myself in a parallel reality - one where I kept my hair, and enjoy all the trappings that comes with it. Trappings that I took for granted. Like women falling at my feet. I cannot tell you how much it pains me to sit and watch my best friend (who we will call Dan for the purpose of this post) blabbering away to girls, telling crap jokes and pointless stories, and all the while they are giggling and fawning over him. Then when I have something of actual interest to say (god forbid), it’s glazed over with the slightest of nods and then they’re back to their golden boy. You see my friend is a bit of a social aggressor. If I start a story, he will finish it. If I’m talking to a girl he’ll walk over and butt in. He doesn’t mean it, we’ve had this discussion before. It’s just the way he is (he’s a Leo if you believe in that sort of thing). He has to be the lynchpin of the group, the centre of attention. Master and commander. It doesn’t matter how witty, well-mannered or well-groomed I am (and I am known for my fashionable appearance), they always look to him as the leader of the pack. And what’s worse is, he’s got a girlfriend and I’m single! Even though I am available and he’s not, they still chat him up! So I ask all the ladies of these opinion poles, the ones that say hair isn’t an issue. That it’s a man’s humor (check), dress sense (check), hygiene (check) and nice eyes (check) that matters the most to them. I ask you, what am I missing? Hair that’s what.
Now I’m not saying that all women are this shallow, and it’s here where I make my point. I moved to England for two years upon securing a job, and so was separated from my best friend and our gang. I had far less socially proactive friends in my new surroundings, all of whom were of my age or older, which allowed me to blossom as the witty wise cracking youngster. Even my taller, leaner friend with flowing locks was given less attention than me from the female persuasion. He is painfully quiet and shy though. That’s when I realized that it’s all about comparative appearance. If I am given enough time and space to charm a girl, they usually end up liking me, but I need all the yappy, pretty little distractions around me to bugger off for a bit. Northern English girls are great - up for a laugh and not so bitchy. Scottish girls are the worst. The only girl I’ve pulled since I moved back up here was a Canadian! Coincidence? I think not. British women seem, from my experience, to be much higher maintenance than their American, Canadian and European counterparts.
So what’s wrong with this picture? I have this great best friend of mine who is slowly killing me inside. We hang about with a comparatively younger crowd that makes me look like a creepy uncle. I live in Scotland surrounded by possibly the most superficial girls in the world (FYI - I haven’t been to Miami yet). I’m not giving myself the best chances am I? Don’t get me wrong, I could play the odds and find a nice girl and settle down with her. But I’m not looking for that. I’m looking to recapture my misspent youth. I’m looking for crazy nights out and hot flings. Things I should have been doing instead of barricading myself in my room and crying myself to sleep. But these things are tough to come by in these hairless days in my part of the world. So what’s to be done? Well, I am strongly considering a totally fresh start in another land with company I will truly benefit from. This may seem a tad radical to some, but I have been crippled enough already with hair loss, and I need to remove as many shackles as I can from my remaining years.
So I ask you brothers - what do you think of my proposed solution?
I would love to hear of any similar stories about tales of reinvention or beginning life anew. How did it work out for you?
Thanks for listening, I realize that this has been an epic!
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