Some Thoughts on Baldness

[Weedwacker]

There are a lot of different opinions on this site regarding whether baldness represents the end of one's life. Having mixed feelings about it, and having a sometimes negative view of baldness myself, I would like to offer some objective thoughts.

There are those who think that all bald men are ugly. This is an absurd statement. Depending on your headshape, facial features and body, you can look good even if you are bald. I have heard a few very negative comments on this forum stating that baldness is just flat-out hideous looking. I agree that pretty much any guy will look better with hair;however, that does not mean that some guys don't look ok bald. There are plenty of guys out there who have full heads of hair and who are unattractive. There are a myriad of things, which technically, are physical flaws. Some guys are bald, or short, or ugly, or fat or have big noses or ears. Where does it end? In the end everything is relative.

There are men who are bald and are, despite their lack of hair, more attractive than most men who have hair. Would you rather be bald and in shape or fat with a full head of hair? People cite the likes of Billy Zane, Andre Agassi, Michael Stipe etc to underscore the notion that some bald men look decent. The list of good-looking bald men is longer than that. The French soccer star Zenedine Zidane, who is famous for head-butting an Italian player during the 2006 World Cup, happens to be an attractive bald guy. If you look at pictures or video of him before he buzzed his hair short, you will notice that he began balding at a young age. Shit happens. Zidane is better looking than most men even though he is bald. Baldness does not necessarily mean the end of things.

Some guys tell men who are bothered by their hairloss to "man up" and deal with it. Well, that's a stupid thing to say in general because each man's hairloss affects his appearance in different ways. Some guys look like aliens if they shave their heads;they truly look abnormal. For a guy who looks ok with no hair to say something like that is ignorant of some guys' situations. Using Propecia, Rogaine, wearing a hairpiece or having a tranny performed are better options for many fellas. There is a segment of the male population who like the "macho" look, so they have no problem shaving the dome. Many of us don't want to look macho, we want to look natural and attractive;furthermore, looking macho or "tough" doesn't prove anything. In our image and stereotype obsessed culture, people often judge others on their "image" even though "image" is make-believe.

One of the things that has given bald men a bad reputation is the bald man who decides not to groom himself. If you are a Norwood 5 or 6, and you grow your hair out long on the sides but have nothing on top, you will look like a clown. You know how the typical circus clown is bald on top but has an afro on the sides? That's the sort of thing that gave bald men a bad reputation to begin with. If every bald guy looked like Agassi, Zane, Zidane or Stipe then our perception as a society about bald men would be more favorable.

As a guy who began balding when I was 17, and who was a Norwood 6 by 21, I can say that there are no easy answers for self-acceptance. I spent $10,000 on hairpieces between the ages of 21 and 24. I think the stress that premature baldness gave me may have contributed to my decline in physical health. Personally, I know how important it is to stay positive and try to be happy in life. Life is too damn short to be miserable forever. It wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I finally began to accept my hairloss. For those fellas who are younger, I can say that it usually gets easier with age. In fact, the older I get the better I feel. I will look better at 40 than I do now at 33.

There is a famous psychologist who stated a study on human happiness in one of his books. Women were asked to rate their attractiveness and they were followed later on in life. The study found that there was no correlation between looks and happiness. In other words, the women who rated themselves as unattractive were no more likely to be unhappy than women who rated themselves as attractive. I suppose there are lessons to be learned from this study. There will be women who are not attracted to you because you are bald;so be it. There are also women who are not attracted to guys who are assholes, bald, short, big-nosed,smelly, poor, ugly etc. Personally, I'd rather be a good man than be an asshole. I'd rather be bald and in shape than fat with B-cup sized boobs like many men. None of us is perfect;the question, or rather task, is to find the inner strength to make the most out of what you were given. Now, that's easier said than done; however, life goes by quickly and there is no telling how long any of us have to live. Any of us could die in a car wreck. It's important to focus on the future and distract yourself from your misery.You may be bald but you may also be handsome, intelligent, athletic, artistic etc. Everyone has some sort of talent;find it, and run with it...