new guy feel so unhappy

[Jack21]

wow! For years I thought that there was something SERIOUSLY wrong with me for feeling so depressed about hair loss. I can't believe how many other people are so affected by it. I am not saying that I have learned to accept it b/c I haven't, but I see dozens of bald men everyday going about their lives - at the grocery store, at work, even on television (well really just 1 or 2 out of the hundreds of faces I see on the TV/ every week but still there are some). The custodian of my apartment complex has a prosthetic leg and he wears shorts everyday. If someone can lose a leg and wear shorts in public everyday SURELY we can all learn to accept losing our hair.

I disagree. If there was no hope or prospect of an effective treatment, I wouldn't be here by now. I'd have given up on life long ago and either be dead or living rough.

[Fixed by 35]

A lot of people you see on TV 'cover up' and fair play to them.

I see bald men going about their daily lives but if you look at the younger ones most of them avoid eye contact and seldom smile. When I meet a happy person with premature hair loss I'll consider changing my views.

[dgman21]

Fixed,
Are you suggesting every young bald guy just kill themselves?? Life after death can be a lot worse,right? Then you definitely won't have a chance of curing baldness...

[Jack21]

My best friend has a shaved head. He started losing his hair in college and just started shaving it. He is married, has 2 kids, and is just about the most self confident guy I know. People might say "Oh well he's African American, and all African American guys look good with shaved heads." I've "met" online plenty of African American men who are just as devestated about hair loss as people of any other ethnicity. But he sure as hell isn't - or he does a damned good job of pretending to not mind.

A lot of people you see on TV 'cover up' and fair play to them.

I see bald men going about their daily lives but if you look at the younger ones most of them avoid eye contact and seldom smile. When I meet a happy person with premature hair loss I'll consider changing my views.

[Jack21]

I should add that he's the only person who has said "good for you for shaving your head" (not in those exact words, but you get the gist). Everybody else looks at me in horror and says "Jack, why did you do that?" my family included. When even your parents are appalled by your appearance and suggest that you do something to hide it what the hell are your chances of making peace with it? 1 person in is my corner and the rest of the world is telling me to "Please put a hat on" or "just go to hair club". Its been 1 week of work with my shaved head and it is really, really miserable but I am positive that after enough time has passed people will get used to it. I tried this before and only lasted a couple of weeks. This is going to take months if not a year. I throw a hat on every chance I get so its fine away from work but I spend 9 hours a day 5 or 6 days a week at work. The hazing that I had to endure in the army when I was moved to a veteran rifle company was horrible. Combat was terrifying and I would be lying if I said that it doesn't still screw with my emotions. But this, the disdain shown to a man b/c he is now ugly and used to be good looking - I just can't understand it. It is the worst I have ever felt in my life. I just want to go back into the army but with my injuries I'd be sitting behind a desk which is the one thing that is worse than death - worse even than this. At least I still have my honor even if my hair is gone.

This was then.



This is now. It is tough to look at the two next to each other.

[Jack21]

I don't know if I was happier about making sgt. or having a beret to cover my balding pate. I wish I could just wear a beret to work everyday. It such a tiny, tiny thing but it would make life SO much better. Sometimes I think about some of the countries I've been posted in and all the men wearing keffiyah. Wouldn't it be nice if a head covering was part of western culture? We'd instantly be a thousand times happier.

[dgman21]

Or being Jewish like me and wish I can wear a yarmakah always..Maybe I should become orthodox! The picture of you looks good.

[Jack21]

Jump on that. Get one of those nice big Sephardic yarmakas. What can anyone say? Take it off? Tell em to take a look at the Consitution. Maybe you'd really end up orthodox and inner peace would allow you to come to terms with balding.

Or being Jewish like me and wish I can wear a yarmakah always..Maybe I should become orthodox! The picture of you looks good.

[jooder]

Jack21- I really dont know where you are looking to see such a drastic difference. You look just as good in the second pic as you do in the first! The only difference i can see is the hunched shoulders 'im ashamed of myself' type stance.Honestly, you look absolutely fine!

[Jack21]

Well thanks jooder. Obviously the miserable look of depression and the hunched shoulders don't help. If I had more support like yours I would be doing a lot better. My beard needs a trim too. I thank you and hope that I can find more support from my family. My best friend is in my corner but that's about it.

Jack21- I really dont know where you are looking to see such a drastic difference. You look just as good in the second pic as you do in the first! The only difference i can see is the hunched shoulders 'im ashamed of myself' type stance.Honestly, you look absolutely fine!