Premature Baldness: Options

[Fixed by 35]

I've been losing hair since about the age of 20 and, seven years on, I'm frankly sick of it. The thought that, if I live to about my life expectancy, I have about another 50 years of this crap, depending on scientific breakthroughs, to put up with means it's about time to make some drastic decisions. Let's be honest, I'll be too old to benefit soon anyway, because my entire youth will have been lost.

So, as far as I can tell, my options are as follows, in my order of preference:

1) Avoid living to my life expectancy through over-indulgence and avoiding doctor's visits. I might take up smoking cigars and I could definitely give heavier drinking a go. It seems a bit pointless trying to look healthy when I'm going to look like a chemo patient and be debilitated by a worsening depression soon anyway! All going well, I'll be about a third of the way already and will be dead by 40.

2) Get a hair transplant. Expensive, and probably ineffective. Not a great option.

3) Kill myself. Might sound drastic, but the world is overpopulated anyway and life isn't exactly a blessing.

4) Shave my head. There's only one thing I can think of that could make life worse than this, and that would be a vegan diet. This isn't even an option really.

Anyone got any better ideas?