Dating and hairloss

[Robe]

Hi all, 



I’m hoping some of you can help me with advise. Maybe some of you have experienced a similar situation or maybe just wanna share their opinion. 

I’m balding for a few years now. First signs where about 10 years ago. I’m now at a NW2-3. I am receiding on the sides and diffuse thinning on top. There is still some coverage not to much tho. In strong light you can see skin especially from the top. Hairlines are noticeable but i don’t really care about those even though everyone sees them. For some reason (think i saw an ad) I started using toppik about 4 months ago and was blown away by the results. Got confidence back and was super excited. I mainly use it on top and don’t apply it to sides. I was planning on using it for a few months and then shave off my hair to see how it looks and if it was looking allright keep it, if not consider a hair transplant.

I already had a few consultations with hair transplant clinics. Even though non of my options are appealing I think the hair transplant sounds best if i would consider doing anything. I don’t think i’ll have the best looks when i’m bald. My head shape isn’t the best for it and i don’t have a lot of facial hair. The only thing holding me back is that i rather not take finasteride. It comes down to the fact i did not yet decide what and if i’m doing anything about this problem. Could go the way of embracing it and trying to keep whats left for as long as possible.

Current interventions for controlling hair loss: 

Starting PRP therapy this week 

Starting topical finasteride next month with micro needeling.

Supps (Saw Palmetto, biotine etc)

Shampoos.

When i was using toppik i met a girl and we’ve been dating for the last few months. We have a great connection and i feel like it could really work out. If it wasn’t for me losing my hair this would be the best time ever. I actually feel like i’m in love and she might be the one and I think she feels the same way. You probably know where this is going… Unfortunately we don’t live near each other so we can only meet up once every few months. I never told her I’m wearing toppik so my problem is mostly that i’m not sure how (and if) i should bring this up. Not doing so is feeling like i’m tricking her. That’s why I feel like i have to do something. The thing is.. i’m not sure how to bring it up without being insecure or without losing her/being rejected. Because we’re still dating i think the way I say it can have a big impact on her decisions to keep dating or maybe quit it. Good to know also. She complemented me on my hair once so she probably likes it. She touched my hair once and i had the feeling she noticed the structure is different. So i think she already knows its not in the best shape. 

I’ve considered the following option to deal with dating and hairloss/toppik use:

1. Not telling her and stop dating. The distance is already a thing, deep down i would rather make something happen but its gonna be hard anyway. I know this option is really extreme but I sometimes I feel like i don’t want to deal with rejection. mostly because it might have an impact on future decisions i will have to make about embracing baldness or doing something about it. For example; If she dumps me it might feel like I MUST do something about my hair. I want to be able to make the decision on my own (if she chooses for me regardless I’m open to hear what she thinks is the best option, in fact i would love to know)
2. Cut down on toppik. Use less so that it is clear i’m thinning. Casually tell her that i’m thinning and share i might go for a buzz cut this summer. Hope she’ll like the idea and pray the contrast of the Toppik haircut with a little hair vs the buzz cut without toppik isn’t to big. I’m afraid it might but not really sure. In this scenario I won’t tell about toppik unless she asks. Which is probably happening cause she might be surprised why i want to go with a buzz cut and she might try to convince me it still looks great. I’d tell her the same thing if i where her probably. Especially if she really likes my hair. I’m not sure how to react on this. I might say something like. “Yeah it is still ok, but I just want deal with it while its not to obvious”. Or “yeah I don’t really think so and i’m tired of worrying about it”. 
Writing about it i notice i’m not to excited to tell her about the toppik use. Thought on this are welcome??
3. Tell her i’m using toppik and that i’m gonna shave it off. This would be hard for me to tell her cause i guess she would then ask how it looks without Toppik etc etc. I picture this being a really awkward situation. In my opinion the difference is pretty big. Not the most extreme examples you see in commercials but you will see some skin, while with the use of toppik you won’t. I think this option would be most vulnerable and i could also come off as being pretty insecure about it. Which I am! Then again this option would feel so awesome if she wouldn’t mind and would be supportive. Not sure if that would happen though. Cause you go down in looks and you show how insecure you are. I know most women don’t really dig that.
4. Not tell her anything. Shave off my hair unannounced and just let her deal with it. Share a photo or a text so that she at least knows it next time we meet. Then hope for the best reaction and keeping my buzzed hair as healthy as possible and hope it looks allright. I think this could be a shocker to her. But it also just might be in my head. Also difficult to say cause i don’t know how big the difference would be.
5. Tell nothing and hope my hair gets thicker from treatments. Then stop toppik and buzz my hair whenever. Small chance tho that it will get thicker (even with PRP finasteride lotion etc.)

Also good know is that i already met a few of her friends. She has both guys and girls as friends and i’m pretty sure she shares almost everything with them. I’ve even considered what would happen if she shares one of the above conversations with them. Then they also might be surprised or maybe even say something like: “yeah, something was up with his hair” or “does he uses something cause i didn’t see it”.

I don’t want to lie about anything but i don’t feel like i have to share everything with her. If she asks me if i’m using products in my hair i will answer it. But if she’s not asking i’ll just share what i wanna share. My main goal is to let her realize i won’t have a full set of hair and she can take it or leave it. I’m not sure but I really do think she already saw that my hair is thinning in a way but probably thought it might take some time before it would get worse. I’m really not sure how women look at this and if they even bother. I might make a big thing about it and i actually hope that is true.

For people reading this to find out more about toppik. Be careful using it after e certain phase NW 1-2. And if you use it consider this scenario. It really keeps me up at night. Toppik is an awesome concealer and it boosts your confidence. So in a way i might have owed it to toppik i met this girl. But it might be the reason i’m gonna loose her as well. And its gonna hurt so much more then being rejected on the night we met.

What do you all think i should do and why? I really needed to get this out of my head! This helped allready.

Thanks so much for reading and for any replies! And i'll make sure to give an update on what i did.